Pull Ups on a Potty Trained Son

Goodness gracious. I think you're overreacting.

They didn't want to have to clean up a mess, they didn't want him to go home in pee pants, they wanted him to rest well and if he had an accident they wanted to make sure he would still be able to go home dry and in his own clothes.

I think you are really overreacting.

So what if you didn't use pull ups, good for you. Not a big deal. Your statement sounds like you think mom's who use pull ups are not as good as you. Using a pull up is not a mistake. He won't care at all. He asked to go pee when he got to grandma's house so obviously it was no big deal to him.

He didn't go pee before he laid down. They just wanted to make sure his clothes stayed dry.

If you are this upset...then tell them to not worry about trying to protect him from being embarrassed from having wet clothes, that you don't really care if he has one. To just lay a plastic bag over his cot to keep it dry and pee free, then let him lay down. If he pees you can take him home in pee clothes and get your car seat wet with pee and can have to have it detailed to get the pee out and hopefully the pee smell won't still be there.

I'd much rather be thankful a teacher pays enough attention to know he didn't pee and remember he's had accidents in the past and might have another one. They really were trying to protect his feelings and his clothes.

yes you are overreacting.. if he has been wet during nap before .. they were doing the right thing.. he didn't pee before he was going down for nap.. so he would probably pee while he was sleeping..

kids will not regress in one day of mothers day out ... if you don't like the program get a sitter to watch him at your house.

It sounds like they gave you a very reasonable explanation. Some kids wear Pull Ups for naps and at bedtime for a long time after they are potty trained. I don't know why you would rather risk him having an accident than wear a Pull Up to sleep in. He has already had two accidents. Why let him have more?

It sounds as if your son isn't confused at all but rather that he's NOT fully toilet trained. That's not a criticism of you or your son. That's just how it is. And as it is, the school is trying to handle a serious sanitary issue in a room where all of the other children are toilet trained. I would hazard a guess that he's had more accidents than the two you're aware of or else they wouldn't have given him the Pull-Ups/diapers. Even if it's "only been two accidents since school started" as you think, school only just started in September.

They have established routines and schedules, and if your son isn't cooperating (such as using the toilet when coaxed) and if he's not using the toilet on his own, then they are within their rights to try to prevent extremely unsanitary conditions for the sake of the other children. You're lucky they don't send him home or tell you that he belongs in a younger room but I think that's likely the next step.

I think that you need to work with the school on this one. I think that you need to trust him. If he were being cared for in your home and this were a nanny situation or even a spouse situation I would be completely on your side.

I think that pulling him out of the program would be overreacting. I do see why you're upset and would agree with you talking to the teachers and, if necessary, the director to come to an agreement. I really don't think it's a matter of trust, as I don't think they were intentionally hiding it to make sure you never found out.

Bottom line: if you pull him out over something like this, you are NEVER going to find a program that you're satisfied with. Talk to the teachers and explain why it bothers you. See if they are willing to let him wear just the underwear and see what happens. Tell your son that he MUST go pee before naptime. If they agree, then YOU have to be open to working out other solutions with the school if your son has another accident.

A lot of kids have trouble figuring out the potty in another situation, whether it's preschool or someone else's house, a store or restaurant, etc. There are distractions, there is a schedule (circle time, art time, etc.) and they just don't always think to break that schedule to go to a different bathroom. Moreover, a lot of potty-trained kids have accidents when they sleep. My child was like yours in that he took 2-3 hour naps, actually well past the age of 4, so he really had a deep sleep during the early afternoon. Even "daytime" potty-trained kids often do not wake up from that.

So the school put him in a pull up because he's NOT fully potty-trained. Sounds like a reasonable decision, frankly. They put the underwear on over the pull up either to keep your child feeling that he was wearing underwear, or to prevent the underwear from being lost. Either way, not a bad decision. And they felt it was more important for him to have a good rest and not wake up wet.

I'm sure the director's "shock" was a natural reaction to a parent's complaint, not that she thinks pull ups are a terrible idea. Once she checked with the teachers who are dealing with your son every day, she felt it was a reasonable decision. I think you'd be amazed at how difficult it is in preschool to get a bunch of kids to go potty when they don't think they have to, when they'd rather be playing, or when they're starting to get tired and need a nap.

It may just be necessary for your child to develop a little more. You may also want to re-think the idea of having your MIL take him out before nap - if she takes him out, he misses the routine of school and the habit of going potty before nap. Even if you tell him at 8 AM that he has to go potty before naptime, he's not going to remember that at 8:10, let alone at 1 PM.

I wonder if you are so opposed to pull ups that you take it as a real insult to your parenting that someone else would disagree and do things differently? I can't imagine being so incredibly angry that you would pull your child from the program. That seems way over the top. It really seems like you consider their different style to be an affront to YOU, rather than a hugely horrible decision for your child.

If you are going to pull your child from a school every time you disagree with a teacher, you're going to have a very, very long road through your child's education. The disruption alone will be far worse for him than wearing a pull up. He will lose socialization, stimulation, friends, skill development, and many other advances - just because he's not fully potty trained at 3.

Maybe they should have discussed it with you, but if you've had any conversations with them on this issue and they felt you were inflexible, maybe they avoided it. Or, perhaps they just didn't think this was the big deal that you think it is. A school can't possibly keep track of every parent's strong feelings on a particular issue. For me, if the kid is safe and having a decent time, I'd let these things go. If he's being fed something he's allergic to, or misplaced on the playground, or being bitten by another kid, then I'd complain. But a pull up? No way - I'd look at the big picture and give him some continuity and structure, and just let him be a little boy.