Proper Care&Feeding of Husbands

I have not read it but have known women who have read it and they liked it and found it very helpful.

I think it's too bad that a book had to be written to tell women how their husbands should be treated.

It's been a while since I read it. I remember feeling mixed about it. It made me understand men a bit better, but I don't agree with the blanket statement that women make or break a marriage. I think that's crazy talk. I can see how women *can* break a marriage by withholding sex and not taking care of her guy at all. I've seen marriages like that. I'm not saying it never happens. But I've also seen marriages where the guy was taken care of very well in every way with a wife who adored him, and he worked with another woman that caught his fancy and he cheated and left his wife. Or where a woman treated her man well and he didn't treat her well, and in the end she left, etc.

I guess what I"m saying is that guys have to treat their girls good too or else they are then in power of making or breaking the marriage. Just because a guy is well taken care of doesn't mean he automatically treats her right. Often it means that, but both sides need to be doing their part. I guess that's what bothered me most. I felt like it was only working on half the issue.

I really liked "His Needs Her Needs" and would recommend that to anyone. It covers it all really good...in my opinion. If you can only read one book, read that one;-)

Just can't bring myself to read anything that woman writes.

Here is my opinion. I did read the book. It has been a couple of years since I did. I should probably re-read it for a "refresher", lol.

My general sense of the book (and WHY it is so darn offensive to so many women) is this: The book (like the person who wrote it) doesn't advocate for being selfish. Society in America today says that every person has a "right" to be happy, no matter who you hurt to get there. That YOU have a right to whatever makes you happy. That YOU are most important and that everyone else is 2nd fiddle--because you can't help anyone else if you don't take care of you first.
I agree that it is difficult to help others if you are floundering yourself. But there needs to be a balance. And a lot of what women hear today advocates throwing the baby out with the bathwater. We're told to take care of us first. Which is the opposite of what previous generations were hounded with (take care of hubby/family first). There is a happy medium somewhere in there. And that delicate balance has to be worked out within your own family. But the nugget of truth that Dr. Laura gets right down to is the one nobody wants to acknowledge anymore: The way to take care of yourself IS to take care of your spouse. But that is very UN "PC" to say.

I thought the book was great. But you have to understand what she is trying to impart. She is very detailed because she HAS to be. We women don't always understand that what WE need to feel "taken care of" (not in a derogatory sense!) is NOT the same thing that men need to feel. It just isn't the same. No matter how often we are told that women are equal to men. Blah Blah Blah. We just aren't the SAME. Equal and the SAME is not the same thing.
So. If you are "enlightened" enough to be open to being a little un-PC, and are willing to think things aren't all about an agenda to put women back in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant... then you might enjoy the book and get something out of it.
I remember distinctly after reading it-- I started doing things a little differently around the house/my husband. Nothing drastic. Just a change in attitude and wording/phrasing really. And my husband said to me one day completely out of nowhere: I don't know what's going on, but I LIKE it!!
Did I degrade myself by choosing to use a few different words and displaying my desire to please him and see to his needs? (Like making his sandwich for him instead of letting him make his own--because he's ALWAYS made his own and he's perfectly capable) No. Did it make him want to go even MORE out of his way to do nice things for me? You betcha!!

The book gags me on so many levels. I won't go into it because just listing the reasons make me so mad and I don't want to waste good energy on anything Dr. Laura comes up with.

Edit* After reading a couple of the poster's responses above me, I must say that part of the reason that I abhor Dr. Laura's books is that her attitude and the attitude of her "followers" is that if you don't like her book, you MUST be an advocate for selfishness, man hating feminism and hate sex and never ever want to have a happy husband. Such assumptions are disgusting and judgemental.
I am thankful to have a happy marriage without having to jump through Dr. Laura's hoops and I have the good sense to know that just because someone else's marriage is struggling, it's not just because the woman didn't make enough food or spread her legs on demand.

I agree with Christina. I don't like Dr. Laura. Her PhD is in physiology -- a degree which has nothing to do with human interpersonal relations.

I cannot believe people actually read that book and like it. I second what Nikki said.

I read it. Awful. I mean, I get keeping your man happy. But really lady? I would love to see a book like that written for men to keep us happy and see how well that goes over.

And I rarely turn my man down for sex. I keep my husband well fed and well sexed. But she just goes too far!

The only good thing I can say is that the book does have a few good ideas for respecting our husbands and ways to show him we care. But, the book is very unrealistic and outdated in my opinion.

My Mom bought it for me and I've read it a couple times. It really makes perfect sense to me. Especially the NOT withholding sex from your husband. Its a guide to help women treat their men with respect, BECAUSE if you treat your man with respect and give him the sex he needs.... (among other things of course) he will do practically ANYTHING to make YOU happy. My husband greatly appreciates that book. We have also watched John Gray's lecture Venus on Fire Men on Ice which I think is more of the guide for men to understand women and make them happy. I enjoyed both, would recommend both, and both have helped my relationship alot.

I loved it. Some of it is a little outdated, but the message was a great one and one I think many of today's woman need to hear! Since applying some of her ideas to my life my relationship has gotten so good. He really does help more with out my asking, just because he is so happy and content he wants the same for me, and he does not even know I read the book or started doing anything different! So many woman seem to think that becoming a mother means they no longer need to be a wife. By making sure my husband feels loved and needed in ways he can understand it makes us both happier people. I would def. recommend reading it.

Also, in my experience those who talk all bad about the book are those who have never read it!

I haven't read it...want to though....I think?!

I think I get the jist of it, make sure they are fed and sexed and they are happy...seems about right to me and my husband! I also agree with the thought that we as the women have all the power to make or break our marriages, I totally agree with that statement! ~Of course not in EVERY situation but generally speaking.

Read it years ago & liked it. Not going to say I agree with 100% of what anyone tells me but I WILL say that if memory serves me correctly, there was a lot of good info in there to get me thinking on a few things - like did I expect my husband to read my mind? yup. I've been married for almost 20 years - not all were good ones. The last 10 or so have been really good - you know why? Because my husband and I have worked hard at really communicating with each other and even more importantly - being less selfish. We both put the other person first. Makes for a very happy household if you ask me. Is every day perfect? no, but when I go to sleep most nights, it's with sweet thoughts of my husband and I'd like to think he feels the same. He is fed everything he needs at home and in good quantities. I like to think I feed his body, mind and soul and he does his best to do the same for me. We try to base our marriage on biblical pricipals where the husband is the head of the household and the protector of his wife and children. He puts their needs before his and he is accountable to God first (easier said than done). I think Dr. Laura's book is based on those same principals so YES I did like the book and think there would be a lot more happily married couples if more women read it. And BTW, I'm not barefoot and pregnant OR under my husband's thumb or rule. He treats me as a thinking, feeling equal.

I have read it, but don't own it. I agree with most of what she says. I think that what I use the most from the book is that I have the power to make or break my marriage. I can make it so much better by doing just a few things to make our home a happier place. I try to treat him like when we were dating and it pays off!

**** WOW ! ! ! Victoria W's comments two after mine are FANTASTIC. I wish I could have said it so well. ****

What I've found is that women either love it or hate it. I haven't found any woman that is inbetween.

I bought the book because my wife gave me a gift certificate to Barnes and Nobel or B Dalton Booksellers for Christmas. I was rushed and didn't know I was buying a relationship book.

To me it is a fantastic relationship book. Its written about 75% for women and 25% for men. Women generally are turned off by the title and for women that don't like sex don't like it that it recommends to women that they at least try to be nice to men sexually.

When I read the book I was astonished. My wife and I had been arguing over those things for decades. She basicly said men don't feel that way. Its only you. When I showed her the book and asked her to read it she saw that I wasn't the only one that felt that way. It has helped our marriage tremendously. I bought a copy of the book for all eight of my married children. Some of my DIL refused to read it. But all of their husbands loved it.

There is also another book worth of reading to help any marriage, "The Love Dare". Its the companion book to the movie, "Fireproof".

My chief regret about these books is that I didn't receive them as wedding presents. (They weren't written yet!)

WHAT WAS MOST HELPFUL: That women look for hints and clues. That men are NOT mind readers, don't take hints and don't see clues. If a man comes home from work and the wife has had a bad day she may hand him the baby when he comes home and say. "Billy is messy." The husband looks at Billy and smells him and thinks "Yes he is", and puts him down or doesn't take him. The wife tried to communicate, "I've had a bad day. Please take Billy and change him." If she was talking to a woman she would have communicated that. What she should have said to her husband was, "I've had a hard day. Billy needs changing. Please take him and change him. Here's a diaper. Thanks, I love you." That's what the book teaches a woman about a man along with a hundred other things.

Good luck to you and yours.

Dr. Laura is a quack, always has been, always will be. She has an agenda that keeps women barefoot and pregnant (in the kitchen of course) serving the needs of others and never her own. i have never read or heard one decent piece of advice from her.

for the record my man is very well respected and fed in every way that matters. but then again so am i. it works both ways. that is something that Dr. Laura will never understand.

Many books will have some good points. Bottom line for husbands and wives. Both partners need love and respect in different ways and both parties need to find ways to build into eachother and work on that. A cohesive unit. And I don't believe women break the marriage....It takes two to tango.

I just don't understand why people are so attracted to "solutions" that assume that all men are the same, all women are the same, and every heterosexual marriage is the same. What's up with that?

I read it a while back, liked it enough to keep it rather than sell it :-) I remember there being some good insight as to considerate ways to treat your spouse. Many women tend to get into the mindset of, "If mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Other than the horrid grammar, haha, that is a horrible attitude and can less to selfish actions. I remember the book as giving good ideas on how to esteem your husband. If you read it, I hope you are able to get something out of it.

I came across it at Goodwill and remembering it mentioned on here several times, I bought it. I'm not a SAHM and don't agree 100% but think it does give good insight to men and the way they think and feel. I kind of wish I knew about it before my divorce so I could have "tested" it to see if it made a difference or not! Regardless, I don't think there is any "perfect" self help book and there are good points in any book that you can take with you as well as things that you may not agree with.

I read it and thought it was well written and appropriate for our time. There are many women who start out treating their husbands properly but as time goes by he becomes only the person who is supposed to take care of them. It's a shame that this behavior among wives can easily be spotted when out in public, where wives put down/insult their husbands. If we all treated our mates the way we want to be treated there would be no reason for this bookl to have been written in the first place.

My husband started listening to her on the radio and said I should, too. I would yell at the radio saying that she only took the man's side of the issue and was so angry that here was this lady coming into our car and telling me to have sex with my husband, when I had NO desire. I felt like I really needed to find fault with her and checked out all of her books from the library- I wasn't going to purchase them and give her any of my money.

I started to read them hesitantly, and then to my suprise, I agreed with most of what she said. Little by little, I started to realize that I was being selfish and taking advantage of my husband and ignoring his basic needs. I would always be so ready to tell him how I was raising HIS kid and doing HIS laundry that he started feeling like less of a husband and more of a burden. Reading the books opened my eyes and gave me insight into my marriage. I flat-out asked him if he agreed with what she said and he said that 99 percent of the time, she was reading his mind. I was floored.

Needless to say, after reading the books, things changed. My hubby has actually told me that I make him very happy, and he has really stepped up around the house. There are times where I still want to have the upper hand- I think it's hard not to when my friends and family are all on the "don't give him any" bandwagon- but I stop and think about the message that sends him, and how it would break my heart if I was being rejected.

I think that if you are at all interested, then read it, whether or not it changes you, it can't hurt any. It helped me and my marriage.