Problems Being Able to Talk with the Father!!!

I understand what you're going through. My oldest 2 boys' dad and I split 4 years ago by my choice and the only time he wanted them was when it was convenient for him. So I still had to get babysitters when I had to work and he wouldn't have to. After the last few years of him finally taking them every other weekend, last summer when I went to drop them off with him he told me he was leaving the country the next week! That was August, other than seeing them at Christmas for maybe 24 hours he has not called them once or e-mailed me to see how they are. My new husband is wonderful with them so I'm lucky that we have him but I gave up on their dad. It is sad because they don't even talk about him anymore or ask to call him either. It's hard but you will get through it. I hope that you have support in your family like I did! Good luck!

I am so sorry, I really feel for you and hope that you have friends and family there to help and support you. I am in the same situation. I was deeply in love with my son't father, we were togather for 3 years, but once I got pregnate it changed and he started to get violent. I made the choice to get out of that when I was 7mo pregnate, by the way a single teen mom as well. I tried to force the father to be active in his son's life, that is something I will forever regret. Becaues he became abusive towards our son, since then i have cut off contact with him!
Think I would have learned, but I feel in love with a friend I had known for many years. I thought we would be togather for ever, he was my soul mate. I got pregnate after being togather for 2 years and he decided he wasn't ready to settle down and be a father, he lefted the picture before my daughter was born. This time around I didn't push the issue of him being in her life, although I keep the door open for many years and tried to include his family. She was born with a birth defect, and that was really hard to handle on my own, being a single mom twice over! I went through depression, but picked myself up. I decided I have to be the best MOM to them, they were my world! I got my GED, and went to college!
Then I met a guy, at this point I was ready to be done with men and just wanted to be a Mom! But he stuck to my side like glue, we became the best of friends and he really loved my kids! I kept telling him that it was alot of take on, I felt damaged...but he refused to give up and now we are engaged and have a 2 yr old daughter. We might be a blended family, but we are a family becaues we want to be.
I know this is a long post, and i am telling you my story, my experinces. I just want you to know your not alone, and its not by choice you are a single mom. Society needs to realize that as well, its not something to feel ashamed for. They are missing out on watching thier children grow and you recieved the best gift of all!! One day they will regret that they cannot turn back time, and I only hope that carma is true and they get thiers in the end for the hurt they caused you and your children (yes, I still have bouts of anger)
Email me anytime, and be proud of yourself. Your doing something that many others are not capable of doing!
Stay Strong!

Stay strong! I will say a prayer for your family. It sounds to me you are doing everything right, and he's the one with the problem. Hopefully he'll come around.

Try to keep in as frequent contact as your patience will allow. Keep it simple and, even on occassion, short. This way your son will never blame you for the lack fatherly attention.

Even if it's only to update the changes in your son. Some fathers have been known to get involved later after 1 of 2 things happens. 1. Their child is past the "baby" stage so they can talk and play together. 2. The father gets a pang for missing so much of his child's life when he sees friends enjoying their own children.

Either way, it won't hurt to continue to try. If the father never responds well then you have a clear conscience (sp?) and your son will see that you have tried.

Hi J.,
What is his first name (father of your son)? He needs prayer. I will keep you and your children in my prayers. I will pray for their fathers also. I will pray that they will take more interest in their children and help you out more with what you need to raise their children, especially financially.
Take care.

Documentation! Document everything, because if you ever have to go to court, that will be your proof and when your children get much older, they will be able to look at it and say, gosh mom did what she could for us. It takes alot to document everything but it does end up being worth it, especially since my ex and his wife took up writing letters to me because they nailed themselves in their own letters. And the more you push, the more he will resist and as hard as it is you have to let it go. I also want to add that sometimes birth fathers have a habit of becoming more involved when you are finally settled with your life and have a good man who is there for you and helping with the kids. Good luck and seek out counseling if you need to help. It is not easy to just let go of the guy who is supposed to be a father to the child you share and there are emotions that you do need to work through to be the best mom you can be. I am saying that because I still feel responsible to ensure that my daughter and her father have a good relationship and have only recently realized that it is not my responsibility. I can support their relationship, but everything else she already has her opinions of both of them and that is from their own actions and words.

Hello.
I am sorry you are going through this I am in the same situation 2 kids 2 dads. The oldest ones dad used to pick our son up and drop him off at his parents house and then complain cause he never got to see his son. Well hello spend time iwht him when you take I cant help it he drops him off at moms instead. His dad has gotten better now that my son is 9 still not a good dad yet half way dead beat he gets him every other weekend and now he at least spends one of those days with his son but still drops him off the other day at his parents. And child support I get that whenever he decides to get a job. My youngest ones dad left the second I told him I was pregnant said If I keep the baby it is my problem. So I have been doing the parenting on my own for 9 years now. I know it isnt easy but over time it does become easier. If you ever need to talk my email is ____@____.com or my yahoo id is annette2877. Leave the guy alone talking to him will only get you more upset well that is what I found from my experience anyway