Problem coworkers...Not Mom Related, but Need Some Good Advice.

Updated on November 10, 2011
J.T. asks from Lytle, TX
16 answers

Drama short, I was attacked at work by a coworker. I had been having escalating problems with her bullying behavior, but this time the problem just got out of hand. This particular instance, she got offended because I closed the door to our breakroom to speak to my doctor privately over the phone. I was embarassed and slightly annoyed because she and her friends were being overly loud, and the doctor was becomming annoyed. I quietly closed the door to finish my conversation, and all hell broke loose. She flung the door open and started shouting language at me and to me.
That afternoon she approach me and threatened my life and put her hands on me. I filed a police report the next morning. She was brought into the supervisor's office before they came to get her, and she admitted to him that she had done it, but it was "just in fun." My boss is fully aware of the problems I have had with the coworker. They took her for questioning, but released her because she said she was hiring an attorney.
In the meantime, my employer has done nothing to this woman. This happened over 7months ago and it finally took me callinig the police myself to have them pick her up for her two warrants from the attack. A week before I was to return to work from FMLA, I was phoned by my boss that we would be working together when I returned and I had better "suck it up." Well, that didn't fly so I contacted an attorney and HR and told them I would be holding them accountable if she attacked me again. They have honored my no contact order, but begrudgingly. My boss has become hateful, my coworkers have ostercized me and say really stupid and hurtful things. I am so sick from stress and anxiety. I have debated several times to look for work elsewhere, but I can not find anything.
People think I could have sat down with her and talked this through. They think that by involving the police, I took the matter too far.
If she is convicted she can loose her license, job..ect..I am such a *itch because she has kids...ect..
I didn't know what else to do because she is not the rational type you can reason with. I do sympathize, but not to the point of jepordizing my life. She is a rather large woman and of different ethnicity than myself. She attacked another female several years ago and attempted to drown her by sticking this woman's head in a toliet.
Today I got served my summons for court next week. One of my coworkers made a comment and asked just what it was I was trying to acomplish by doing all this. I told him it was to prove to this woman that she can not threaten and put her hands on another person. He replied, "Well not at work anyway. I guess if your body is found somewhere they will know who to look at first."
Please help me. I am a nervous wreck. I am scared of this woman. I am afraid that after the hearing, she will try and hurt me or that my employer will attempt to place us back together in hopes that I quit. Anyone with any advice to calm my nerves will be greatly appreciated. Sometimes I wonder if it was even worth all this....

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I would talk with an attorney about filing a lawsuit against your employer for having a hostile work place. I would also find another job. I think you can sue even if you're not working there at the present.

I also suggest that you consider getting a restraining order so that your employer cannot put the two of you together.

Have you talked with HR and received no help? Have you talked with your supervisors supervisor? If they've not been supportive this is further grounds for a law suit.

I suggest that you get medication to help you with your anxiety.

And most of all, look for another job. Your life isn't worth continuing to work here.

15 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Wow this is terrible. As an HR professional, I cannot believe that your company has not taken action whether its suspension or termination. Do not quit. If they fire you, you can file EEOC charges. Keep all your records regarding this incident. Any communications with the HR Dept. should be done by e-mail so you have a record.

14 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I would advise contacting the Department of Labor and making a complaint about your employer's actions and attitude regarding this matter. It is unacceptable. Specifically, talk to the EEO/EOE office. Good gods, if this is how they act when someone is assaulted, just imagine how they'd behave if someone were raped or sexually assaulted!

HUGS to you.

10 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh--it's worth it. All of the really hard battles are, right?

Let your Police Department know of the upcoming court date and your fear of this woman and request a little extra patrol near your home.
Did you file a PFA against her as well? If you see her near hour house, call 9-1-1.
She needs to experience the consequences of her actions...and unfortunately, you're feeling them from your (correct) actions. Stay strong. Best of luck!

10 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Your work is acting as they are not because they side with her but they are afraid of what she will bring on them. That doesn't make their actions correct by any means. I just see it happen a lot.

I agree with those that say you need to get a protective order. Anything you get from the court makes it easier on your employer to do what they should have been doing all along.

I don't think your employer wants you to quit they just want this problem to go away but they don't want to take action themselves. :(

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Denver on

Wow, I am so sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're in a terrible situation. You know what is right but you don't have the support of anyone in your workplace. Does the HR department back you up? That's their job! You were right in what you did, sounds like this "bully" has everyone on her side. You should absolutely not have to put up with this, i would tell you to quit and walk away. I would contact your local news station investigative person - they do stories like this all the time on the news, maybe you could get someone to come in and shine light on what's really going on?

6 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Please please please find a new job. The toll stress is taking on your health in the long run is much worse thn the actual physical contact.

5 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It seems odd that no one would be on your side if this woman is so horrible. Do they know about the prior incident where she put a woman's head in a toilet? I would pay for a consult with an employment attorney to find out what your rights are and what your employer's responsibilities are. If they allow the woman to harass you, then it seems like they are setting themselves up to be sued. Get legal advice!

3 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

If your not already... document EVERYTHING! Also, what about getting a voice recorder and record what goes on, on a daily basis with her, your HR and anyone else in the company when dealing with her. If they are not helping then this will help you to show that they are not doing thier job. If others are making comments and stuff like that you can show your HR, supervisor etc what you are dealing with. There is always someone higher up in the company that you can go to for help with this... even if its an attorney to file some charges.

I would for the mean time anyways, get some anti-anxiety pills until this is all over with. Also maybe buddy up with someone at all times so your never alone where she can strike. Good luck and I hope this is all over soon for you!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Where the hell do you work?

I think you should contact the Department of Labor for your state.

I simply can't imagine an employer tolerating such behavior. It doesn't make sense.
As far as the court case, all you can do now is hold your head high and follow through with it. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you're going to have any witnesses at work to back you up.
Contact the Department of Labor.

Let us know how it goes.

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Sounds like steps should have been taken by your employer prior to it escalating to this. Did you file reports/complaints w/ your employer and/or HR department? If so, and they have not done anything about it, they can be held responsible. If not, they can claim they didn't know until this incident and police report.

At this point and going forward, be sure to document and report everything.

Sounds like you may have a basis for hostile workplace suit but then you would need to find another job (not legally but realistically).

2 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I second, third and fourth agree with what is written below..... get out of dodge... no one should have to put up with threats in the workplace..

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Your HR has not made it clear to your boss that by being hateful to you, he is further exposing them to a huge lawsuit that you should file.

Have you been documenting everything that is happening? Who is saying what to you, and when?

Can you get the person she tried to drown to come to court on your behalf?

You need to talk to your attorney about filing suit. If they fire you instead of her, you will need all your ducks in a row. Talk to your lawyer about getting in touch with your head of HR. I'll bet that changes your boss's behavior, but quick.

Do the people at work KNOW that you cannot just "talk it out" with someone who has tried to drown someone in a toilet? What is wrong with these people?!

I think the best thing you can do is file suit against your employer. Then you don't have to work there anymore after they have to pay you your settlement.

Dawn

1 mom found this helpful
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N.C.

answers from Alexandria on

Sounds to me you did the right thing. Idk how you feel about this but I'll suggest it anyway. Pray, pray, pray. God is amazing and he will protect you.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't know what kind of work you do but I feel for you! You have done the right things. Human Resources and Your Supervisor are responsible for your safety. Keep copies of everything you have submitted to them. Make notes on the times and dates she has harrassed you. Chances are you are not the only one who is being bullied by the woman. Stick to your guns and tell the whole truthful story in court. Your employer is setting themselves up for a lawsuit by putting you in a harmful situation. You may also need to consider an order of protection from this woman. Unless you stand up for yourself, the bullying will continue. NO ONE should take away your self-confidence or feeling of safety.

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L.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

workers are afrid of her and that is why you do not recieve much help and your boss does not want to look racist. Someone has to stop this she has been abusive before. You can ask the man who said your life was threatend how he would like one of his family members treated this way and what if she goes after him next, since this is a pattern. So sorry and praying all works out and that God will help everyone in this situation

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