Princess Stereotypes

She is 3. She loves princesses. I don't see a problem. Just about all 3 year olds get hooked on something whether it is Thomas the train, or Star Wars. Let it go!!!! You are definitely overthinking this!

I have boys and am kind of missing a little sparkle in my life...and that comes from a confirmed non-girly girl!

I think these are awesome:
http://goosebottombooks.com/home/pages/Series/RealPrincesses

Like most people are saying, it's totally normal. My now 14yr old was also the same way at 3. At 4, she wanted to be a Barbie Cheerleader when she grew up (imagine how proud I was...not). At 6, she wanted to be an artist. By 9 she wanted to be a teacher. Now that she's 14, she wants to be an OB/GYN. How far we've come from Barbie Cheerleader! Like most are saying, don't overthink this. What you're doing is just fine, just let her use her imagination how she wants and it'll all be ok.

Ask yourself if you would be so worried if you had a son and all he talked about was cars. If all he and his friends talked about were smashing cars and driving cars and wanting to be a mechanic when they grew up. Would you be buying him books to steer him away from a blue collar job? Worry about stereotypes of people who work in a garage? No, I doubt you would.

If you still can't relax about it guide her through by talking about the positives and negatives--tiara: great fashion choice. Wanting to marry someone you just met: poor choice. It opens up great conversations about appropriate behavior. I went through it with my daughter. Even at three she could understand that Aurora meeting Prince Philip in the forest and then inviting him to come to her house in the middle of the night was a really bad idea.

In a nutshell, how many sixteen year girls do you see walking around in fluffy princess dresses wishing they were Snow White and fearing apples? None. It's just a phase. She is three for crying out loud. Let her be three.

oh my gads, she's only 3. books about harriet tubman and malala are great......but she's 3.
princesses are pretty and fun. while no good mom wants her daughter fixated forever on stereotypical princesses, you also don't want to obsess over it. there's nothing wrong with a 3 year old wanting to play princess.
if you're expanding her worldview and you yourself have a healthy attitude toward gender stereotypes, that's going to prevail. going overboard and wringing your hands over a tiny girl's current play preference is going to be detrimental.
i encouraged my boys to experience dolls and easy-bake ovens and let them play dress up with girl clothes. i also encouraged them to play super-hero and rockem sockem robots and didn't fuss about play weapons.
she's 3. let her be a dang princess for a while.
i'm more worried about your friend who cried because you turned down her princess hand-me-downs. really?
khairete
S.

Oh goodness. When my son was three he was Captain Hook and only called me Mr. Smee.

Her imagination and creativity are blossoming and her brain is developing. If, when she is 12, she insists on only wearing dress-up princess gowns and glittery Lucite slippers, and thinks that she has a real shot at becoming the Crown Princess of Switzylvania, then please write in again for advice, or get help for her.

You can't add political science, global historical awareness, and anti-stereotypical education into a little brain that is blooming and growing and dreaming, in a little girl who's 3. Of course, you can model politeness, kindness, compassion, and other traits that will last a lifetime. The princess stuff will fade as she grows (assuming you don't live in a castle with singing mice), and more dreams will take hold. Some will be practical and possible, like being a doctor, and some will be a little more, shall we say, difficult to attain, like being a kitty cat.

You're stifling her. Enjoy her creative mind and serve her tea!

First question.... OH how I hope this is a troll....

Your child is 3.... she is NORMAL...... it is NOT normal to attempt to control her imaginary play. I SO hope this is a troll... Poor child.

She can "flourish" if she does not have you manipulating her brain and only allowing her to play like you "think" she should play.

I really feel sorry for your child if you only allow her to view and play with what YOU feel is right.

Why not let her grow up and have a normal imagination. Just because she has an active imagination does not mean she is going to grow up trying to be a Disney princess. The more you allow her to explore her world the more she will flourish and learn in may areas.

YOU are damaging her brain development here.... it is essential for children to be able to pretend play and explore. If you stay on this track of attempting to control her mind, you will end up with a rebellious teen.

There is nothing wrong with her being a NORMAL 3 year old. Geesh... I need more coffee after this....

So you're telling her you don't trust her choice of interests, her passions. That she doesn't get to follow her instincts? Because no one forced this on her. I used to be like you, believing it is all nurture and no nature. Then I actually raised one of each and watched all their friends. I gave up trying to mold her when I realized all I was doing was confusing her and telling her she was wrong. That's the subconscious message she is getting from you.

By the way, my daughter who was a total princess and Barbie freak at 3 is a total my little pony fan at almost 13, but is also totally into building Minecraft and lego scenes, is a huge Star Wars fan, and will spend hours playing with cars and army men with her little brother. And wants to be an astronaut. It means nothing.

Um, ALL girls are princesses. Duh.

(yeah, way over thinking)

:)

You're way, way over-thinking everything, and you're not parenting appropriately for her age. Your intentions are good but continuing on this path, the lessons you think you're teaching will backfire. You're trying to program her too, do you not see it?

Your daughter will be who she is and that person will grow & change over time. Support her in her interests at the given time, these will also change. Interact with her in developmentally appropriate ways.

If it turns out that she actually grows up to be the most princessy girly-girl in all the land - love and support her as the individual she is rather than be disappointed that you couldn't force-mold her into the person you were hoping to create.

You are overthinking it, relax!!!
I still remember a friend my daughter had back in elementary school. Her parents were severely anti Barbie, to the point they put it on birthday invites (no Barbies, please, we do not approve, stereotypes, etc.)
They pushed her academically and only allowed her to play team sports, no dance, gymnastics or anything they considered "girly."
Well it backfired, BIG TIME.
That girl, who was a very bright, happy child, grew into a rebellious teenager who went Goth and ended up transferring to an alternative high school.
Sorry, I digress.
My point is, let your daughter play and have fun. This is a short phase, and who YOU are as a woman and a human being is going to affect who she becomes a lot more than some pretty, shiny dresses, crowns and shoes.
And she is waaay too young to have a world view, you're expecting too much of her :-(

Darling, she's 3. When I was a little girl, I pretended to be a kitten. And a bird. And a queen. And all manner of other things, to include a princess.

Just let her play. She'll be just fine. Play doesn't have a bunch of deeper socially driven meanings at that age like adults seem to think. It really is JUST pretend play. Barbie is JUST going to the beach....with no thoughts of having a body like Barbie. Princesses are just hanging out in their castles. No unrealistic expectations about how things will be as adults are even considered. All the concerns you're having are not a blip on her radar. You're thinking like an adult. She's not.

Respect, acceptance, justice, inclusion....those are things that are caught, not taught. She's going to watch you and daddy and see how you respect one another, accept other people, are just in your actions, and include people. Monkey see, monkey do. Princess play has nothing to do with it.

Good grief. She is three. Let her enjoy what SHE enjoys. She is not you. She is her own self and right now she likes princesses.

My son went through the "Barney" phase. I hated that stupid thing but he loved it so there you go. He then discovered Thomas the Tank Engine. Then Builder Bob.

Our daughter loved to play "bride". She got a bride outfit for her 4th birthday. Loved princesses as well. Had a Belle outfit. She is 26, graduated from university, dating a nice young man and working in HR. She has every Disney movie known to mankind. Her favorite when she was 3 was Bambi. OMG!!! We went through 2 VCR tapes of that show.

What I'm getting at is that they will like what they like and then discover something else. YOU are making too much of this. Parent her according to her age. She is 3.

At three years old, you are WAY overthinking this. Kids get obsessed with different things. My daughter used to love Dora. My son was obsessed with vacuum cleaners at that age. He loves LEGOS now at 9 years old. My 7 year old daughter has been into princesses for a few years now. She is also in Girl Scouts which promotes a healthy self image. She also excels in school and is generally happy and well adjusted. I would encourage other interests as well, but I would not sweat the whole loving princesses thing...most little girls in our Country go through that and have no adverse effects.

If your child cannot tell the difference between fantasy/imagination and reality that may be where you want to concentrate and not the content of the fantasy.

I have very strong and self confident 13 and 24 year olds. They loved them a princess story when they were younger. Only hurts them if people are telling them this is a good life plan.

You have some serious hangups about pretend play, you know that right????

Kids need this. It's an important part of their development. Good GRIEF!!!

She knows she's not a princess. She knows she is playing. Evidently you are the one that doesn't understand this.

She is fine. She is right on track emotionally and mentally and cognitively as far as your post. Watching some princess movies would be fun for her. She should outgrow the princess stage when she's in 1st or 2nd grade. That's when they are fully into Barbie and out of the Disney princess movies almost all the way.

For kids this age, it seems like you are expert in everything and they are not. Then, at some point, they lock onto something that they feel that THEY can be the expert in. Your daughter chose princesses. And it's even more satisfying to her, because you are not an expert (you don't talk about them usually) and she can tell you all about them just like you tell her all about other things.

This is a phase, and all kids go through it. Relax, and know that it will pass.

My oldest was the 3 year old expert on Thomas the Tank Engine. My younger spent a full year acting like he was a dog as often as possible. He didn't just tell us about dogs, he modeled how dogs eat and drink, barking to answer questions, walking on 4 'legs'. So, while you may not love princesses, we don't get to choose what our kids decide they want to be expert in. This is common and it will fade.

This is a popular thing to worry about in all the feminist mommy blogs. But have no fear. It is a silly first world concern. Little girls love princesses and barbies. The toy companies capitalize big time on the timeless passion for it. Hardly any ladies love princesses though. People outgrow it.

I was a tomboy in rural Colorado as a child. I played outside all the time and road dirt bikes. My mom was a nurse and community activist who took us volunteering all over. She taught me all about role models from both genders. She didn't have a superficial bone in her body and never promoted girly stuff.

Thankfully, she also didn't mind that I LOVED PRINCESSES. I must have drawn 47,000 princesses with tiny waists and big puffy skirts as a child. If they had manufactured and sold all the cheap gowns being tossed about today I certainly would have worn them with all my friends. I loved Barbies too. Neither removed any moral character or created body image issues. Back in the day, moms didn't worry about their daughters playing with Barbies and princesses. People weren't so dang politically correct all the time. We played with toy guns too and I'm as anti-gun as they come.

It's great you are not supporting the manufacture of these chinese nightmare toxic idiotic princess gowns with your purchasing power. I hate them too. But don't worry about your daughter's character. You're giving the princess stuff too much power in your mind.

She is who she is. Relax. She's only 3. The answer to your last question is - YOU. Live those things - you are the woman she will model herself on.

And remember - Princess Di - Princesses aren't a problem.

Let her love what she loves, and model being a strong woman. She'll learn it from you.

L., they all go through this 'obsession' with something. Thomas Trains, Dinosaur Train, dinosaurs, cars, construction vehicles (this is just boys stuff, mind you) and superheroes and "everything is a gun".... and girls do this too. I'd go easy on trying to teach social issues during her playtime. Over her lifetime, what YOU model, how you live, how you treat people-- this will have a far more integral role in your daughter's development than what she was doing/playing at 3. She has a fantasy world-- that is fantastic. My suggestion would be to let *her* choose what sort of princess she is going to be. She doesn't need fancy descriptions of 'engineering' and at that age, the story of Malala can be quite disturbing to a young mind.

Please rethink the intensity of your opinion and actions. Take a deep, deep breath. Believe me, I've been there-- they are only three and while it seems huge in this moment, trust me, this will all be something you look back and laugh at just a few years later. It's not that social equity is a laughing matter, but your desire to control aspects of her play are a bit much. Play is and should be originated by the child; when we take over the childrens' play with our own agenda, it becomes inauthentic to them and they lose interest. Let her own her personal enjoyment of the princess thing... this too shall pass.

PS: when my son was four he was disappointed that there were no 'sparkle shoes' for boys. Sparkles and glitter are very attractive to kids... this is total shiny object syndrome for most kids. Who doesn't want to wear sparkles?

Our 4 yr old daughter has similar tendencies when it comes to dress-up, but I'm not concerned. Here are a few things to think about... She is just as comfortable dressing up in the doctor's costume or Spiderman or Darth Vader (but those are readily available from big brothers) although I admit that it's less frequently. Similarly, I didn't get overly concerned when the boys put on gowns or tried on my heels. Children must be allowed to explore their creative sides and fantasy is a great way to role play all sorts of behaviors. Sure, it helps if you can add some comments "Wow, I love the manners you use when you're a princess" or "Do you really think that's the way that guy should act in that situation" but they can figure some of these things out on their own.

As for princess shows/movies, don't know them all. We've watched a lot of Sophia the First lately, and the lessons are spot on... Sophia shows the whole kingdom how flying derby (a horse race) isn't just for princes. Sophia teaches the other princesses that her friends from the village are great people and lots of fun. Sophia helps a servant who invents things to see that her inventions can be really helpful... you get the idea.

In my opinion, this will all run it's course. In another couple of years, you will be off to sports practices, dance classes or who knows what and you'll miss the days with your little princess ;)

I'm coming at this as a mom whose daughter (now 13) never saw any of the Disney princess movies as a young kid, or ever (she saw "Aladdin" which really is mostly princely, not princessy, in sixth grade!). We just never got around to it--too many other things to do and see. When she was small there was a lot of Disney princess junk for sale -- costumes etc. -- but truly nothing at all like the avalanche of STUFF out there today. People just didn't give her heaps of princess themed gifts as seems to happen now, but she and other girls did indeed know who the princesses were even if they didn't get into them deeply. OK, so that's the background I wanted you to know.

And you know what? Your daughter will be fine, especially since you already are introducing her to other types of stories and a variety of role models who aren't blonde and white and privileged. But don't overthink it and give yourself an ulcer here. Don't overdo the "alternatives to princesses" thing with her either or it may backfire and make her feel she needs to defend her interest.

You're talking in terms of "her world view and her entire self-narrative has become two-dimensional." I can see saying that of a kid of 10 or 12 or more but at three, humans are pretty one-dimensional. Be aware that the one dimension changes frequently, and she will embrace her Next Big Thing with as much gusto as she is now pouring into princesses. If you worry and fret over every preschool obsession and its long-term impact on her personality and "acceptance, justice and inclusion"-- , you will truly work yourself into a tizzy and will confuse her, too, making her feel that somehow her childish interest of the moment is something that's a bit shameful. She won't understand why it all seems a bit shameful to mommy but she will indeed pick up on that and it will confuse her.

Over the years I've seen posts on Mamapedia from moms very wound up about sons who at two or three or four were so intensely focused on (for example) cars and trucks that all else was pushed aside. Those posts have been along lines of "he only plays with toy cars and trucks, only talks about cars and trucks, only watches the movie Cars a million times if we'd let him" and so on. My good friend's son here was absolutely nuts for toy cars and real cars for about 18 months to the exclusion of all else.

While I guess you could argue that "cars and trucks don't teach stereotypes or female weakness that needs princes to rescue it," the posts and my friend's experience sounded a lot like this one -- "My child is doing one thing to the exclusion of all else and it drives me, the parent, nuts. When does this end? Will he ever read a book or do math or will he just be obsessed with cars forever?"

Read up on development and you'll find that at this age it is very typical for children to become so intensely interested in just one thing for a time. The key here is "for a time." I don't know how long your girl has been this deeply into princesses, and i know it seems eternal to you as the adult, but she will be done with it eventually, especially as you are not backing it up by taking her to "Princesses on Ice" and every other Disney thing that comes along. You're fine to direct her talk elsewhere at times, or read her stories that are not about princesses. You're also doing well to talk about other things like princesses who are strong and smart, though I'd take care not to overplay that since it's still princesses. When she has preschool friends over and they play princess, let it happen, though you also can come up with some games for them to play that aren't princess games, to break things up a bit.

But don't get so frustrated that you end up just saying one day she's no longer allowed to do this -- she won't comprehend why.

I think it's great to talk about Malala and Harriet Tubman with kids, but at three, she can't really grasp the larger world much, and those women are great because of the hardships they endured -- a concept for older kids and adults, not one she can make play out of at three. (For the record, my daughter was reading and being read to about Tubman and a lot of other historical women by first grade, in age-appropriate books, so you're not far from having a wealth of good kids' books on strong, real women to share--but don't expect your daughter to talk much about those women yet or play their stories.)

I do agree that Disney princesses and the "pinking" of girls' imaginations and play is not positive, but believe me, girls raised with these movies and toys DO grow up to see through them. Our Girl Scout troop, in sixth grade, did a project looking at Disney princess images and discovered that Disney was actually "prettying up" images of "Brave"'s Merida (making her thinner, her dress neckline lower to show a bust she didn't have in the movie, making her hair more "model-like" and flowing, etc.) a few years back, when Merida was somehow "elevated" to a Disney court of some kind. These girls were furious because they liked Merida for her brains and toughness and riding and archery skills, and they fully realized what was being done to her physical image. (Google something like "Merida makeover" -- this was in the news a few years back and Disney did it with other princesses at the time too.)

All these girls are respectful, accept others, do a ton of volunteer work, help feed needy families, gather stuff for shelters, excel in math and science, write fiction without a princess in sight....And I know at least a couple of them were pretty princessy at three. So don't worry as much as you are. You don't have to encourage it, and I would not encourage it myself, but I think at three she's not damaging her future self, especially as you are balancing things. If your girl were still retreating into princesses at an older age I'd worry about her perceptions of girls getting skewed, but she's behaving entirely normally for age three right now. Don't try to counter every princessy play date or story with a "healthy" or adult-approved one.

She will learn everything you want her know about stereotyping, prejudice, history, and inclusion when she grows older and can actually appreciate those concepts.

She's drawn to princesses because they represent fantasy, magic, and pretend play. We really enjoyed the Tinkerbell movies around that time: Tink's an engineer! But a magical fairy too!

But don't try to steer her play too much. Just let her be herself and set a good example of all that nurturing respect, acceptance, and justice you want her to learn. She'll get it.

ETA: Maybe because you haven't seen a princess movie in awhile, you've missed Disney's big effort to focus on princesses/girls being strong and saving themselves (and others) in their movies. In Frozen, the protaganist saves herself and her sister while the male leads come up short. In Merida, the princess fights the ancient tradition of being married and having a family to follow her own path. The TV show Doc McStuffins' protagonist is an African-American little girl who wants to be a doctor like her mom. It's really not what we grew up with at all.

I can see how worrisome this is for you. And I'm with the others who say that because she is 3, this is totally normal and will not be a detriment to her self-image or future. But most of us can say this with the perspective of having had 3 year olds who have grown up to be fine. When your child IS 3, it's hard to have that perspective.

My daughter was very princess obsessed at 3, she came home every day and made a bee-line to her room to change into this costume or that. Now, at 14, she is into competitive sports, has strong career goals, and does fantastic in school. She is not waiting for a prince to come along to make her life ok.

I hope you don't feel unsupported by everyone saying that you are overthinking things. You have wonderful maternal instincts that are making you want your little girl to grow up strong without princess-influenced stereotypes. I hope you can hear that we know that your girl will be just fine, and sometimes that perspective comes easier from those on the outside and those who have had little girls who grow up fine despite having idealized princesses!

The best thing you can do for your daughter is to keep including books and activities that broaden her world. But most importantly, let her know that you 'get' who she is right now by affirming her current interest. Host a princess tea party with her and just watch her enjoy every moment with YOU, she will flourish knowing that you support her interests. Good luck!

Would it make you feel any better to hear that my 4 year old son wanted an Elsa doll and tells me I look like princess Anna, and that I should ride a white horse like she does?

Try Daniel Tiger or Yo Gabba Gabba for some kid friendly discussions and modeling of respect, acceptance, justice and inclusion. Be sure that you model those attributes too.

Best,
F. B.

When my son was three he was obsessed, and I mean obsessed, with Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats". We had it on VCR (yep I am that old). He watched it everyday. He brought it to preschool on movie day. We had the soundtrack on tape (again, that old) and that was all he would listen to in the truck. He knew every character and could sing every song. He would talk about Cats constantly. It was 3 year old obsession at its most glorious.

And you know what, he outgrew it. Oh, we did have to attend a live performance (um, twice) and we did run through several other Weber musicals. But it all turned into a lovely experience for both of us.

He was also, at turns, enamored of the Purple Dinosaur, Power Rangers, Power Puff Girls, etc. etc.

Expose your daughter to a variety of interests and archetypes. But don't shove them down her throat at three years old. Princesses play a huge part in childhood. My son loved to defend the princesses and called every younger girl he saw a princess. And treated them all with kindness and respect. Until he saw, Mulan, I think - and realized that princesses could kick a$$. Then he wanted to fight with them to save everyone. And he began to see girls more as equals. These are not things I let him learn alone, but this princess evolution, for him, was used as a tool to teach respect and courtesy for women and about the innate strength that women have.

See - imagination is ever evolving. Right now, your daughter is learning to play with and relate to her peers through the power of princess. It is socialization. It is not a bad thing. She is not growing to grow up warped because she likes princesses.

If you want to try and balance it - engage her in more "masculine" play - sports is a good one. It balances princess nicely.

But, mostly, realize that she is 3.

She is three.These sorts of things are so natural.Next year she will be fascinated with butterflies. If she were thirteen I would worry. Just enjoy this phase of her life.

You are worrying too much! She will be fine - she's just being a cute little 3 year old obsessing over pretty pink princesses. My son, when he was 3, had a pink sparkly princess dress obsession for a while! Pink was his all time favorite color. He outgrew it. It made me think...maybe we adults are all too judgmental of things pink. Maybe it just really is a beautiful color and we unfortunately all associate it with only girly things. Anyway...if it makes you feel any better I was a little girl who loved pink, dress up, girly things, and dolls. But I grew up to be a tough field biologist working in Alaska for 14 years...wearing mostly rubber work boots, jeans, flannel and other such work wear! I am still a scientist, but now am a bit more well rounded than my 20s and 30s...although I still don't own that many "girl" clothes compared to other women! I just got my first pair of flats this year and I'm 43! So...let your daughter be a cute 3 year old who loves princesses and don't worry. :)

Most girls (and some boys) get caught up in princess stuff at one point or another. It sparkles! It's pretty! It's fun

I would continue to expose her to lots of different people and ideas and just naturally include bigger ideas as she gets old enough to process them. But for now? She's 3. I wouldn't overthink her behavior at 3. If you asked my DD at three, she would have probably said she wanted to be a princess dinosaur astronaut. Besides not giving princesses too much weight, point out the positive points. Like Belle likes to read, or Merida is brave and strong. I think she will be fine. When she is older, read her the Dealing With Dragons series about a kick-butt princess who takes care of herself.

Edit to add: I was leery when DD wanted to watch Sofia The First, but overall I like it. Sofia is the kind of princess who will carry someone's books through the forest, pick the horse no one else wants, get to know why the trolls slam their clubs instead of judging them, etc. It's been a good conversation starter for me and DD. Sofia even joined the flying horse team, when everyone said it was for boys. She showed them.

Also a book that DD likes is Princess Smartypants...who ultimately gets what she wants - to hang out with her animals with no pesky princes.That book is for kids.

She's 3. It's a phase. She will grow out of it. Please stop trying to make this be somethng more than it is. One of my nephews was obcessed over all things cars and trucks. He grew out of it. He still likes cars and trucks but has found other interests as well.

You probably need to lighten up and learn to like the things she likes. She is having a grand time. Stop trying to make this be more than what it is. Her exercising her imagination with princess play. I just watched a Bratz movie called "Bratz Fairy Tales". A totally different take on princesses and the fairy tales and how the heroines are viewed. You would like it and your little one may have some new things to add to her imaginary play.

She's 3. I think you are reading too much into it at this particular age. She will outgrow princess play and her interests will spawn off into other areas as she matures. It's totally normal for a child this age to find an interest and wear it out!
My 4 yo daughter loves playing dress up, too. However, she never wants to be a called a princess at dress up time, she's the QUEEN! They are never "tiaras"- they are "crowns". She likes the characters with power behind them.
Just continue to be a good, strong female role model for her. That is what's most important as she grows, not a current interest in princess play. This will pass but you are forever!

My GD was also obsessed with princesses and anything pink and sparkeld. She even wore her princess dresses and tiara out with me to run errands. Now she's 12; could care less about princesses and hates the color pink. She has dreams and goals for her future that do not involve being a princess. And yes, she watches tv.

All that to say that your daughter is just going through a typical girl phase and she will outgrow it. As she gets older and is exposed to more, her interests will change.

Relax. Let her have an imagination that you are not controlling.

There is nothing wrong with her loving princesses, gender stereotypes are only a problem when they are forced. If you are concerned with her thinking princesses are all blond then start watching some of the movies with her that have other types of princesses, like Pocahontas, Aladdin, the Princess and the frog, brave, ect. But I would say what she is going through is perfectly normal and you may be over thinking it a bit much.

3 year olds see something they like, and they love it. The only thing I would discourage that you mentioned was not playing with boys... Maybe point out that they can take part in her play by being a prince, I a friend of the princess. Everything else? Let her enjoy her childhood. When I was young, I was raised by my grandma who had definite, old fashioned views of femininity. I my early childhood was spent teaching me to meet the negative stereotypes .... Yet I still wound up as a tomboy once I was living with my parents until high school, when I sort of settled between the two extremes. And it wasn't due to 'rejecting' a lifestyle I didn't like... When my grandma had me I really did like being her little princess... But as I got older my interests expanded.

I tend to worry about these things too though... Plenty of times I have thought that my 4yo was a little *too* into something, but it always plays out when something else catches her interest. She just got over an 18 month obsession with dinosaurs. ;) As long as she has the option to play with other toys, I wouldn't stress too much.

My daughter was the same way. She loved Princesses until she turned 5. Lost interest completely. She liked the movie Frozen but is not into it like the other girls. She had Princesses dress up clothes movies you name it. Now she is more into Barbie, Monster High and Ever After High. She used to love to dress up but now could careless. I think this is one of many phases your daughter will go through. I wouldn't stress about it.

It is very normal for pre-school children to have "pretend" friends and fantasy play. Their little minds are very active and are learning about everything around them, they become very creative and adapt their play accordingly. This is just part of their development and be glad it is, there are so many children with developmental disorders who cannot "process" even the basics. It sounds like your little one is just going through a normal little 3 year old phase.

My little 2 1/2 year old grand-daughter is doing the same thing and she has been in Montessori since 16 months of age. One minute she will play with her 5 year old brother's toys, Lego's, rough and tumble acrobatics, super hero characters, dressing up in Princess clothes, high heels, even wore them to bed. She is well rounded in all areas, thinks she can do anything her brother can do. At 2 /12 she knows all her colors, alphabet, can count in English and Spanish. She can work puzzles like nobody's business and has her own IPAD.

Yes, she thinks she is a "princess". Your daughter is fine, let her be herself, it will work out fine.

I think you need to go with the flow on this one. Relax a little about the stereotype issues. Some kids are into princesses and some aren't. It seems to have very little to do with parenting and our influence..as you have seen. My daughter had access to dolls and princesses and liked them okay, but enjoyed dinosaurs and trucks just as much. We didn't train her to think like that, it's just her personality. She had friends who were ga ga over princesses. Just try to enjoy the phase. It won't last long, but you probably do have a girly girl on your hands whether you like it or not.

Not to worry. Kid's try out different personas. It's good she's a princess now. Watching some TV is good. She will see many different characters to try out. Now she only knows about princesses because thats her primary exposure. She can only choose to be a strong woman if she has a well roundedrounded exposure to every possibility.

she's 3. Pretend play is fun and so is glitter and shiny and princesses. My 7, almost 8, year old was really into princesses and fairies for a while, now it's superheroes and monster high. They go through phases and it's all normal.

It's just a stage some girls go through.
She'll outgrow it sooner or later.
The world view of a 3 yr old is a very temporary thing.
She might always be a frilly girlie girl and never be a tom boy type but she won't be gravitating to princess stuff forever.
Don't encourage it but don't freak out about it either.

A lot of this is coming from her peer group.
They pick up and bring home all sorts of things from other kids - like swear words, disrespectful attitudes, etc.
You are only just starting to deal with this - you've got YEARS of it to look forward to!
You just teach as these things come up.
"I don't care if Amy says words like that - we don't talk like that in our house and you don't have to imitate everything she does.".

This is perfectly normal. My son obsessed about firemen. He wore his fire suit everywhere. My oldest had lots of princess stuff-given to us by friends- but she was all about being a fairy and flying. She even asked for the gift of flight for Christmas!

You are overthinking this. They are three. They don't even fathom justice still 5, and then don't actually understand good and evil until 7.

At 3, it's all just fun pretend. Just play and worry about the other stuff in a few years.

Read the book Cinderella Ate My Daughter. Redefining Girly is another great book. Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies is a great website. A Mighty Girl website has some great resources.

My daughter (and son) got so immersed in princess culture through daycare and friends. It was pink overload in our house. I was really worried about how it would impact them long term. We did a lot with media literacy. What was not real about the princesses and how they were portrayed? What were the strong characteristics of the princesses that went beyond looks and helplessness? Who were strong princesses (Merida, Mulan, Rapunzel somewhat, Tiana, Fiona from Shrek)? We read lots of books about princesses that were not stereotypical. And we presented lots of opportunities to explore other things--Legos, science, Star Wars, animals, cultures, etc. Almost over night they both just decided that princesses weren't for them. But, they still like the strong princesses like Merida and Mulan.

Let her enjoy princesses, but open up her world to more than just that. Teach media literacy to her. The Pigtail Pals website is a great resource for that. There is a light at the end of the princess tunnel. And I don't think they are all bad.

I have already read your SWH, but here is our experience.

My daughter was in love with princess stuff, me...not so much. Anyway, her favorite thing to do was dress up in princess attire. As well, her bedroom was covered in princess stuff. She was in awe.

At 5 she took on an interest in ice skating. She no longer fit the princess attire on the store shelf, but the figure skating coaches encouraged that the kids chose age appropriate music for their competitions, even though she had interest in other music. With that, she skated to the music of the last Disney song and would have costumes made that represented the latest movie.

At the same time, she took an interest to hockey and began to play hockey. She is 9 years old now, I have not seen nor heard a thing about princess stuff. She plays hockey, works out, and still from time to time figure skates.

In my opinion, it is a phase that most kids grow out of. They will move on to their own interests. However, I do know a couple of adults that absolutely love Disney and buy the annual passes for Disneyland and just can't get enough.

I don't think there is harm in allowing your daughter to explore the dream of princess. She will move on when she is ready.

I agree with so many of the posters and I actually wondered if my daughter lives at some of their houses. haha.
My daughter is 12 and she was totally all princess when she was that age. Was not a barbie fan but princess this and princess that. She now does not care for pink. (we will be repainting her room this summer. yup its pink) and she loves my little pony, horses, minecraft and legos. She also loves talking to her friends on the phone.
I personally think it is normal.
Many blessings.

It is a phase, but you are right to be concerned. You should watch this documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwUwchCeeI4 Our children are being manipulated and brainwashed by the media, Disney etc. You are right to not let her watch TV or any of this junk. They will learn about all this from their friends, you can't avoid it, but at home you can try to steer her towards other things as much as possible.
This is a phase, yes all kids go through them, but this can easily get out of hand if she was treated like "princess" all her childhood....so good for you for being concerned...

Horrifying, isn't it? And yes, little girls truly are limited by these stereotypes, consciously or unconsciously. There are some great blogs out there about these issues.

http://pigtailpalsblog.com/
http://www.achilleseffect.com/

The major factor that affects how girls self limit their life choices is how often they see women in the community playing different roles. Actually SEEING female engineers, firefighters and scientists is extremely important. The percentage of children's books where girls are the protagonists (especially if you eliminate books where they are the passive princess) is very low.

Reading books to her about strong women is great. And yes, there are plenty of age appropriate books about strong women. I was very worried my son would believe girls can only play certain roles, so we have read a lot to him - Wangari's Trees of Peace and Faith Ringold's If a Bus Could Talk (the Rosa Parks story) are also great. Black and brown people are also invisible in most children's books, so these are good there too. There is also a great little kid's bio of Jane Goodall - The Watcher - Jane Goodall's life with the chimps - by Jeanette Winter.

I also try/tried to read books to my son where girls were the protagonists. Some good ones for when she is (much) older - Pippi Longstocking, the Danny Dunn books (three kids, two boys and a girl - the girl is the science expert and the second boy is the quieter, arts/history loving kid) and the Wrinkle in Time trilogy.