Pressure from Family to Use Barley and Formula Milk at 6 Weeks.

Updated on September 15, 2009
T.S. asks from Newark, DE
40 answers

I am breast feeding and my daughter feeds 8-12 times a day. At night she wakes up every 2 hours to feed and goes right back to sleep. My family keeps pressuring me to use barley in my breast milk to help her sleep through the night or substitute breast milk for 1 bottle of formula. Please help, what should I do? My daughter is 6 weeks old.

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So What Happened?

Wow, thank you everyone for the quick advice. It's actually great to hear that other mothers feel the same way as I do. I want to speak up and tell everyone thank you but no thank you, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have to get tough skin I guess. Right now she is feeding fine and I don't mind getting up every 2 hours to fed, I actually enjoy spending every moment with her. I will continue to breast feed with no barley or formula and if i have any questions, I will check with my Dr. Thank you again everyone for your advice. It's great to know I have a place to come to for advice.

I took the advice and pretty much told my family to back off and it worked!! I couldn't believe how good it felt to say it out loud. I agree with everyone who said to breastfeed as much as I can, I do believe it is best for her!

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C.M.

answers from Allentown on

Don't give barley this early. Babies who eat cereal/food before 4/6 months are at greater risk of getting diabetes and being obese. Also, no proof giving cereal helps then sleep longer

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M.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Its a very personal choice. We started my son on cereal in the NICU before his due date, but that was for his reflux.
Maybe you can do a "trial period"?

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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

I was told to never start a newborn on anything other than rice cereal since they could have a reaction to it and their little systems just can't handle it. Rice--I was told--is a simple grain and oatmeal and barley are complex. I highly suggest you avoid doing anything with cereal just yet, however. Formula is definitely going to make her gassier and will most likely make her wake up more. If it were me, and I was the one waking up with her, I'd tell everyone else thank you, but no thank you. My personal thought would to call her pediatrician to get their thoughts on the matter. Best of luck!

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C.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Dr. Spock says that what parents instinctively believe is best for their children is almost always right.

You baby is behaving normally for 6 weeks, she is gearing up for a growth spurt and will eat a bit more of a couple of weeks.

Don't let ANYONE tell you that you should do this or that if you don't want to. Trust your instincts.

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D.W.

answers from Allentown on

Although it sounds like you're getting far too much advice these days, please go with your own gut. Only you know what's best for your child. Your daughter is only 6 weeks old and it is entirely to be expected that she'd be waking often to eat. Also, before giving her barley please check with your pediatrician as I've read that it's not recommended to give babies under 6 months old a grain like barley.

Hang in there and good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is 9 weeks and I underwent similar pressure. Hang in there! I continued to emphasize to my husband that she was gaining weight so she didn't need anything additional. I let her eat as much as she wanted as often as she wanted even if I was terribly sleep deprived. I also limited contact with my mother in law so I didn't have to listen to it so much. Eventually my husband seemed to get the picture. Although he did bring it up again a couple of days ago. Ugh! Tell them that adding cereal prematurely can lead to obesity later in life. I will admit I gave her formula the first night home from hospital at recommendation of the doctorand it helped. Since then I have supplemented 2 other times and the last time it made her so gassy. I used that opportunity to justify to my husband why there is no need for the formula.
I hope this helps. Good luck and stick with your gut feeling

1 mom found this helpful

M.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Go with your heart. If your baby is satisfied with breastmilk, there's no need to supplement. Your baby is only 6 weeks old! Their systems are still developing. They are not *supposed* to be sleeping through the night at that age and I feel the pressure from your family is out of concern for you, which I get, but trust me, the sleepless nights don't last forever. You're doing the best thing for your child.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

You didn't say how old your baby is. I don't think you are supposed to mix anything with formula or breast milk. I know when my kids ate cereal I put formula in it but they were older when I did this, about 6 months.

I used formula with all 3 of mine and with formula they sleep longer between eating so I am guessing your family is trying to help you sleep. If you are happy with breast feeding just tell them to back off. Or don't discuss breast feeding or your baby's sleeping schedule with them. Good luck!

Joanna
Mommy to Mara 8, Cate 7, And Olivia 5

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J.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Just say noooo! The baby is getting the perfect balance of nutrients from your milk and you are going the right thing.

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Honestly, I think that is insane. She is only 6 weeks, and is not old enough to sleep through the night without feedings yet. They wake up to eat because they need to eat that often. If you add something to her breast milk at this early age, it's possible that you may increase her chances of having food allergies later. There is no need to add anything, mom's milk is best. She will sleep through the night when she's ready, and I wouldn't listen to anyone about adding something unless it comes from her doctor because she's not gaining weight or something. I hope that helps you. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Ta Rah,

babies do not have the proper digestive enzymes to take barley or anything not breast milk or formula, especially that young. I would contact your pediatrician for any changes in your babies diet for their ok. You must be exhausted feeding so often. Hang in there.

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M.H.

answers from Sharon on

DON'T give in to their pressuring! Tell them to BACK OFF and just let you be a good mother to your baby, keep breastfeeding and don't bother with formula (it's not at all made like it used to be anymore, and is actually quite bad).
It's COMPLETELY NORMAL for your baby to be having these feeding and sleeping patterns, and it will change as she develops and her needs change, but right now she wakes up to feed during the night because she NEEDS to feed this often, and trying to manipulate her to sleep through the night this early in her development would be unhealthy for her.
Don't be afraid to get nasty with your family if that's what it takes, they need to BACK OFF.

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B.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Who's the mother? Breastfeeding is great and normal. Breastfeed all u want wherever u want that is how it is supposed to be. Not that there is anything wrong with formula but breast is best. I had no problem nursing all the time and at night just other people did. You do what you think is right

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C.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi! I am also a breastfeeding Mom of 2....My first son was a lot like your 6 week old. Nursed very frequently day and night....up every 2 hours at night to nurse and I had the same pressure....but honestly, babies wake up that often because that is what is supposed to happen- there is a reason they are not sleeping thru the night at such a young age. They drink just enough milk for what their tiny bodies can use and digest and wake up less frequently as they get older and their digestive systems mature. I have read that and it makes sense to me....I never gave into the pressure and finally decided that I just could not care what anyone else thought of my breastfeeding b/c I knew in my heart I was doing what was best for my son. In fact- I STILL nurse my son who is just over 2 years old AND I nurse my 11 week old son as well....my children are very happy and healthy and I would not have changed anything! If you do not have the book "The womanly art of breastfeeding" it is a wonderful resource for breastfeeding Mama's! Also- I truly feel that Mother's breastmilk could NEVER compare to what is in formula...I wish you and your baby the best of luck...stay strong! Don't give in to the pressure :-)

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would continue to just offer breastmilk unless your pediatrician recommends otherwise.

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S.O.

answers from Allentown on

She is too young to sleep through the night. What are YOUR instincts telling you? What does your pediatrician say? Your breast milk is the best thing for her. She is getting everything she needs and is doing exactly what a baby her age should be doing, frequent feedings. Her stomach is very tiny, she needs to eat frequently. Hang in there, be confident, you're doing the right thing by asking around for advice. Don't let uniformed ppl pressure you.

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M.P.

answers from Scranton on

It is your baby. You know what is best, and what works. Do what YOU want.

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S.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Ta Rah,
Breast fed babies wake up every two hours because the milk goes through them faster. You have to do what u have to do as a mother. Everyone always has an opinion. You have to do what is best for you. Nothing guarantees a child will sleep through the night.
Shant'e

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S.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

As a mother of two myself, do what you think is best. You are the parent, don't listen to your family. Take suggestions and advice but you don't have to do what they say. It sounds like you could use a breastfeeding support person, do you know anyone who has breastfed or is? Most often its nice to have some one who can relate. Listen to yourself and to your doctor. IF you are not comfortable with something speak up and don't do it. Every child is different and special in their own way, it may take some time for her to sleep longer through the nights, but it only gets easier. Treasure these moments, they may be stressful at times but she will never be 6 weeks old again. Good Luck!

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N.O.

answers from Philadelphia on

Along with all the other responses, giving cereal or formula when your baby has only had brestmilk may have the opposite effect. It could upset her tummy, and then she could have a hard time getting to or staying asleep.

How many times have you heard a mom talking about having to switch formula several times because it upset their babies' tummies? I know I had to with my daughter. Or when introducing a new food, their baby was gassy and fussy for a day or two afterwards?

Your breastmilk is the PERFECT food for her. She doesn't actually need anything else for the first year. Any food prior to a year is just for practice really.

When someone says something to you either smile and nod, and continue doing what you feel is right, or just say that it is working for you doing it your way, and that you are going to do it as long as you feel it is the right thing to do.

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P.E.

answers from York on

I have been a NICU nurse for 25 years. Your breast milk is the ONLY thing your baby needs. She eats every 2 hrs because breast milk is digested much easier than formula. As she gets a little older she will sleep longer between feedings and soon will be sleeping 3-5 hrs. Treasure this time when she needs you so much. Don't fill her up on formula when you've got what she needs. If your milk supply is low, talk to your OB doctor. Otherwise stick to your guns and do what's best for her. I never heard of putting Barley in your milk. Don't do it.

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L.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think that it is great that u are able to breast feed the little one. Dont worry about what the family says. They p[roubly think that it is to hard on u and what u to find another way. Keep doing what u are doing. When the time is right u and ur little one will decide when to stop the breast and go to bottle or cup. But only u to can make that choice.

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J.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Stay Strong Momma!!!

Forget about not hurting anyone's feelings. This is your daughter not theirs. It is your decision to make the choices you do to raise you little girl. You will be able to say no thanks i'll do it my way. Just tell them that you will sleep when she is older. Best thing to do is laugh it off when they say she should be sleeping longer. The more you laugh about it the more they will think "oh she is crazy - but oh well". Again momma - you can rock this. Many of us do - even when we have a 9m old who gets up every 45minutes a night. It will eventually calm down.

Best of luck and stay strong to your convictions!

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Is your daughter gaining weight? Is she having wet diapers and enough soiled ones? Does she seem to be content after meals? If so, then I would NOT supplement with anything. It is NORMAL for an infant to breastfeed 8 to 12 times in 24 hours. In fact, we tell new moms to MAKE SURE their new baby IS nursing that often. As long as your baby is gaining weight and seems to be doing well, I would keep doing exactly what you are doing. Babies tend to start sleeping longer periods at night when they hit about 10 pounds. If she was a small baby, it may take her a little longer to get there. Hang in there - and please let me know how things work out! Thanks.

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A.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Don't give in to them. You know what is best for your daughter. As long as you're OK with the sleep deprivation, keep on breastfeeding solely. You can just smile, and thank them for their suggestion and kindly tell them what would help even more is if they would support your decision to strictly breastfeed for right now. Good luck - the feedings will decrease as she gets bigger. If she's only feeding on 1 side & then going to sleep, try waking her up by burping her (sometimes that's enough) or changing her diaper and then getting her to eat on the other side. That might help her to sleep a little longer before waking up.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi Ta

Contact your local La Leche League consultant at

www.llli.org

Hope this helps. D.

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M.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I got lots of this kind of advice with my first. They were not there in the middle of the night though, so I thanked them for their advice then did what I thought was best. She's your child. Try to be polite, but stick to your guns.

That being said, if your husband is willing and it lets you sleep some more, giving her one bottle of formula at night probably won't hurt or cause a nursing strike or anything like that. It is not a miracle cure that will get her to sleep through the night, but it might get you a little more sleep. Take care of yourself too!

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi Ta Rah, I bottle fed my first two the I nursed my youngest. I have to say that when you bottle feed kids do seem to sleep longer...and go longer inbetween feedings. I wonder if that is such a good thing in the long run. I do know that health wise all three of my girls are very healthy but my older two have had wieght issues that my youngest never has had. Now is that because she was nursed or because it was just her destiny...I'm not sure. Don't add anything to your breast milk or to formula...you never know what it may do in the long run. Hang in there, she won't nurse as much once she get's old enough to start on cerals etc in a couple more months. Best wishes.

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J.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am going to give you one piece of advise.... listen to your gut and do what you feel is best. people are always going to tell you how to do things and you have to do what works best for you. I have never heard of the barley thing. if you want to just breastfeed then do it. your baby is so tiny still and it will take some time to make things all well and if your confortable doing that then keep doing what your doing.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

The child is 6 weeks and they're expecting her to sleep through the night, or at least longer periods? Breast milk is richer, but thinner and many tend to feed more often with breast milk. You're the mother. If you are fine getting up with her every 2 hours to breast feed, so be it! Are they the ones getting up with her? Then it's none of their business. I really don't care for pressuring family members. As long as you're not abusing or neglecting your child, do what you want. There's a hundred different ways to raise a child. And she's only 6 weeks old. Give the baby a chance to even know what it's like to live outside the womb, lol! I wouldn't worry about any of that until she's at least 3 months old.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
chat and events within 2 hour radius

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

she's your baby, you always know best.

As long as you don't mind getting up, I'd say go with it. If you start needing a break, I'd say maybe give her a bottle as that may help her sleep longer... but trust YOUR instincts.

It's so annoying how people tell us how to mother.

You are doing a great job.

take care :-) M.

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N.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We started subbing a bottle of formula at the bedtime feeding when our daughter was about 3-4 weeks old because she wanted to sleep through the night and I was not producing enough milk for that and formula is more filling to begin with. That also allowed my husband a great opportunity to feed and spend time with her. She continued to nurse (on a gradually reduced schedule of course) until she I weaned her at 2 and never preferred bottle to breast, so it is possible to have it work out that way. I'd recommend a talk with your doctor first - I've never heard of using barley that young, and they might have a recommendation about which formula to try. Good luck and God bless!

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A.P.

answers from Williamsport on

My BIGGEST regret about breastfeeding with my first child was giving in when everyone said I should. As soon as I started weaning, I felt guilty, but still "followed" their loving (haha) advice. Once I had stopped nursing, I felt terrible and was very upset with myself.

You need to do what is right for YOU, and your BABY. Nothing else matters! There is absolutely NO valid reason why you should substitute with formula. None... there are reasons, but none of them are really good arguments. Are you tired, probably. Could you use a "break", probably. Are they just trying to help, probably.

Your baby needs nothing except your milk for quite sometime. Head this problem off now, or they will eventually wear on you and you'll find yourself in a place you didn't want to be.

Good luck!

S.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

WHOA! ACK!!!! You poor thing...this is the LAST thing you need right now, I'm sure.

CURRENT (read=up-to-date) medical understanding is that ceral this young is TERRIBLE for an infant of this age's digestive system, and his intestines are WAY to immature for any cereal....people have done damage to their kids that way (obesity, gastrointestinal issues)

Hey, if you need to....tell them your Doctor said "NO!" to cereal/formula and if they have issue they need to call him/her!

YOUR BABY, YOUR choice, honey....I am SO PROUD OF YOU for sticking to your guns...we back you up, sister, you are doing a FANTASTIC job!

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think that it is a good thing that you are breastfeeding. that is the best thing for your baby. the only question is are you producing enough milk for the baby? from what i know it is normal for breast fed babies to wake every few hours to eat. while breast milk is not as filling it is the best and will help fight future infections and provide antibodies. If your Mom did not breast feed may be this is why she is suggesting to give barley or formula. Old school thought is that if their bellies are full they will sleep through the night. If you are really concerned then speak with the pediatrician. As long as your child is gaining the appropriate amount of weight then everything should be alright. May be you need to provide your parents some information about breast feeding and feeding schedules. Good luck and do not get pressured into something you do not want to do.

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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

It's an old school thing that people used to add rice cereal to the milk when feeding the babies, whether it was to get them to go longer between feedings or because they claim that the babies are starving, don't do it. Tell them to mind their own business. You're the one getting up with her. It won't last forever. Family's that have never been around a breastfeeding mom can sometimes have difficulty understanding the extreme differences of bfing vs formula feeding. Formula feeding is all measured out, all scheduled around their busy schedule. With breastfeeding you should be feeding on demand as often as they want to be fed. But you will sometimes need to recognize that they may not always be hunger but may be teething, need attention etc. The baby controls how much milk you make by how often they nurse. The more often you nurse the more milk you should produce. It is very hard for people to understand the lack of scheduling when it comes to breastfeeding.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'd thank them for the advice and then do what you think is best for yourself and your baby.
I breastfed and formula fed. They are 6 and 8 and I don't remember how they slept at night lol.
Just listen to your instincts-they won't lead you wrong.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

The very BEST food you can give your child right now is breast milk. Eat nutritious meals yourself, and drink plenty of fluids. I used to nurse a 'whole lot' in the evening, regardless of the clock, and it helped to fill my baby's tummy, so she slept longer than 2 hours at bedtime -- which was great for me.

Infants' tummies aren't ready to digest barley or wheat or rice cereals. You can put whatever you want inside a bottle of baby milk, but that doesn't mean the baby can get any benefit from it.

As long as your baby is healthy and growing, is alert when awake, she's probably doing just fine on her breastmilk -- it's just tough on Mom and gang because she's up so much at night. But I think this will even out soon. She'll be awake more during the day, and sleep a little longer at night. Give it a few more weeks before you cave in -- if you cave in to them. Some time around 8 weeks, I went back to work, but when I did, my daughter began to nurse just about constantly when I got home, I think just to be with mom, then she'd sleep for 6 hours, then another 2. That worked pretty well for me, since I then had to get up and get ready for work anyway.

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C.W.

answers from Reading on

Ignore them. It is natural for babies to have sleep that is interrupted, this prevents things like SIDS. Plus they have very very small bellies that just can't hold that much and aren't designed to process solid foods at such a young age.

I hate how our parents' generation thinks that they had it all figured out and that they have all the answers. Guess what? They don't. When we were kids, there were no laws about using car seats; can't get away with that now.

As far as dealing with the family, just don't discuss it with them anymore. Just go about your business and don't even mention it. This is YOUR baby and it is up to you to give her the best start that you can and it really seems like you know what the right thing is here. Keep up the good work!!!

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Are you okay with her waking up every 2 hours at night, or is it affecting you (lack of sleep, need to care for 1st child, etc.). The best advice I received was try to get the baby to take in as much of the milk during the daytime hours. So for example, if she's suppose to be drinking 40 ounces a day, try to get 75% of that in during 8am - 8pm, or since it's hard to judge oz when breastfeeding then "force" her to eat/drink every 2 hours during the day so you can "fill up her quota" so she'll be more likely to go longer at night without needing you.

It was probably at 7-8 weeks when my daughter finally started going longer stints at night.

If you're feeling strongly and well about your breastfeeding then don't listen to what your family is pressuring you to do. Esp. giving cereal at night to help a baby sleep -- everything I read says that's a Wives Tale.

Best of luck!!!

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