I picked up my 3 yr old from preschool and he had dried snot all over his cheeks. Another time he was mimicking someone yelling "don't touch the wall" as though the person was upset. He also seems to speak more aggressively when I pick him up "stop it" "that's mine", etc. He has been going to this preschool for six weeks two half days a week.would most moms consider moving preschools at this point?. I started looking at different schools, but honestly am haven trouble finding one where it isn't too crowded/chaotic or on the other extreme not very engaging. I chose somewhat unwillingly another preschool where it is a much smaller class and attentive teachers, but not as dynamic lessons and not many toys in comparison. And then my son seems like he is adjusting to the first school! No teary goodbyes anymore. Though when I ask him about the school and teacher he says it is ok but consistently says teacher doesn't talk to me(the other staff interacts more, but not the main teacher) she also avoids too much talking to me when I pick him up. I am driving myself crazy trying to make a decision as to whether to move him to the other school...where I think he will have more attention but the curriculum is ho-hum in comparison.
I did decide to move him to a new preschool. I talked to the administration, and decided that the preschool was well meaning but too crowded and my son was being overlooked because he is quieter. The new school is smaller, good social interaction, and when one child plays roughly or hurts another, it's caught right away and the child is told to "please play nicely with our friends" etc. There is enough attention and they seem to teach empathy. The academics isn't great, but I am going to work on supplementing that at home. Thanks for all the advice! It really helped to get some non emotional points of view.
Leave him where he is. Anywhere he goes he will hear other things and he is going to hear it eh next 19 years.
First, the issues you've brought up. The dried snot is most likely due the staff teaching your son to wipe his own nose (or him observing other students wipe their own noses & his attempt to copy them). This is something he will need to be able to do before kindergarten. (I blow my nose a lot, due to allergies. Both my boys learned how to blow & wipe their noses by the time they were 2. So he should be able to learn it too.) "Stop it & that's mine" are definitely learned from other kids & that will happen at any school. So, changing schools won't change that. The only concerning thing is the "don't touch the wall" thing. That I would ask about, there may be an explanation that makes sense (maybe there was something dangerous there, like a box of scissors to be used later for a craft). No school will be perfect. If your son is happy to go & is enjoying his time, I don't think I would change him at this point. I would keep my eye out for any other concerning behaviors & make my decision at a later date.
For younger kids, curriculum is probably secondary to good social interaction. He can do a great deal of learning just through free play for the next year or two, and learning to get along with peers and other adults is the real focus now. Good luck, I hope you get a situation that works better for you.
At such a young age, I think the quality of the environment is more important than the level of teaching/amount of toys. Your child is building his character and that is very hard to cultivate with bad influences at school. You could teach him at home if you are worried about his academics.
Hello, I have always believed that it is more important that the child feel like they are having a good time at preschool than learning tons of things. This is the base of education. How much he likes going is going to help when he starts kindergarten. If they are teaching the basics, then just add to what he is learning. I know there are people who don't agree, but that's just my opinion. As far as the face. I know just what you are saying. I have a little granddaughter who is in special education. When I pick her up, she has boogies in her nose, dirt on her hands and sometimes dirt on her face. When I take her little sandals off, she has woodchips in them. I'm not happy about any of that, but she loves her school. I just get her in her carseat and start cleaning. Gotta go with what makes her happy.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.
If you're unhappy with the way he is reacting to this school then now is the time to move him.
Kids learn in a loving environment. What do you want him to do in a 3 yo class?
Sometimes children learn to be more resourceful if there are less toys.
If your Mama's intuition is telling you that this is not a good place for him, then remove him, post haste.
I'd go with the school that has attentive teachers - the amount of toys and "dynamic" lessons are not as important to a 3 y/o as being comfortable while away from his/her parents is.
Our 3 year old class for our son marked a BIG transition that impacted a lot of areas - teaching independence in all things, and a big leap in communications. The 3 year old class started the shift from teacher intervention in everything to the kids fending for themselves. This included learning to communicate & resolve conflict with the other kids - Our son brought home some not-very-nice words & tones of voice. In conferences, our teachers emphasized that they continually reinforce friendly words, and being friendly, and learning empathy for other people's feelings. It's something that they'll learn over many, many years. The independence thing showed up in other things too - gross lunch boxes at the end of day (kids are responsible for setting up their own lunches, not the teachers), messy noses & bottoms YUCK!(kids are learning how to blow their noses & wipe). Our teachers DID reinforce that they were actively teaching health and hygiene concepts (you have to blow your nose, so you don't pass germs, you have to wipe clean or you'll get a rash & pass worse germs, etc.).
I'd recommend that before you change schools, find out what they are doing to actively teach positive communication skills (friendly tones, preschool diplomacy, empathy). Find out whether they ARE teaching hygiene. Find out what language they are using, and adopt that language at home to reinforce the concepts. For face & bathroom, we got our son a special box of Kleenex for his cubby, and a special set of Kan-Doo flushable wipes. That seemed to help him start thinking the concept of being clean was great.
I'd say, if he's adjusting, and seems to have fun and positive experiences, leave him at the school. If your conference with the teacher is not great, and you don't feel good about it, make the switch.
Do you know any other parents who's child is in this daycare? Maybe ask around to see if anyone might have their doubts about it? I am sure it's a necessity for most and not an option to move their child. But if one or two people back up your instincts to move your child and you have the option then do it.
Einstein never read cue cards! Find a suitable clean and SOCIAL place for your child. Forget about curriculum!
For me, the most important thing I want for my preschooler is good social interaction with other kids led by a kind and caring teacher. Having a preschool curriculum is important as well. I would ask around to see where other people have sent their kids and if they were happy with the program, etc. If you're unhappy, then look at other options or maybe give it a little more time since it's still early in the year and everyone's adjusting. The best way to communicate with your son's teacher is to ask to meet with her at the end of the day or call her on the phone, it's difficult for teacher's to talk when all the parents are there and they're probably making sure everyone is leaving safely.
I would be very upset by his face being gross. Even though I'm a total germophobe, we still miss sometimes. It's difficult keeping up with a small group. I can't imagine a larger one. I would make it clear to them that it's not acceptable.
As for the wall...I don't allow wall touching either. I don't have time or money to paint my walls much. In fact, mine need done desperately. I don't want them making them worse while I try and figure out when and how to get it done. Granted, I'm open 7 days per week, 24 hours per day, it's just me, and there's never a dime left over. But I'm sure the school still doesn't want the walls to be gross.
I agree with talking to other parents and you should let his teacher know he feels she doesn't like him. She's probably just not even realizing how he feels. I've had some kids that internalize every single thing I say to them. Sometimes you can't do anything right for them for the first several weeks. Eventually, they figure out the rules and you don't have to call them out so much. If I have a child that seems jumpy or sad I do try and make sure I dish out as much praise as well.
I think you're pretty much answering your own question..go with your gut mama..at my son's old preschool..his teacher spoke to me every day after school..they had 3 teachers in his class..big school..and he came home more well mannered..they have a very loving approach to the school..the ladies at the front desk...well a couple of them sucked..but the teachers were great..i think you're seeing red flags..and i would pull him out..my son went to Kids Klub in Pasadena..now he goes to a school that is constructivist style and is a happy little camper..(kindergarten) if you can find a preschool that teaches that style i would run to them..
sounds like your son is being neglected..my son never came home w/ snot all over himself or mimicking bad behavior..
good luck..
xo
D.
I have worked in a couple of different preschools and can assure you that kids that age will get used to anything relatively quickly ... however, that doesn't necessarily mean its "all good"! Trust you gut instinct and don't look at appearances! I once worked in a preschool where all the lovely games and toys were only for the parents' benefit - they looked so good cos the kids never got to play with them! Same regarding all the "activities" they were supposed to do in a day - we NEVER followed the routine we showed parents! Kids had "indoor play" and "outdoor play" interrupted only by small meals and a nap! However, just before hometime, all the kids would be taken to the bathroom, tear-streaked faces cleaned, hair brushed and then it was "story time" as parents started fetching the kids. It all "looked" great but REALLY wasn't!! (Btw - I was fired cos owner overheard me telling a parent what was REALLY going on!) My suggestion is that you show up unexpectedly and see what is going on when no parents are expected. Either way, once you've made your decision, don't second-guess yourself. Good Luck!
May I suggest you sit down and talk to the teacher. Discuss your concerns and see what is going on. This stage is very difficult, but at the same time it is good to open up. I learned that sometimes I guided my conversation with my daughter by asking her questions that were getting me the answer I wanted to hear, instead of just letting her tell me how her day went. I then realized the picture was different than what I've thought. Keep in mind there is no perfect preschool, just look for the signs and do surprise visits. Get to know the aides and teachers very well and all will work out. If you decide to take him our of the preschool, just be ready to solve other issues that will arise from the other school. Hope this helps!
Get some boggie wipes and leave it in his cubby. Ask the teachers to help your little man while he is still learning wiping his nose. Maybe brinnging some bagels or donuts for the teachers morning coffee would be a nice thank you gesture.
Talk to the teacher. Some teachers are best with children, not so much talking with the parents. I would inform her of the situation and see how she reacts and if your not feeling good about the response you get then you have your answer. There will never be a perfect daycare center, I just don't believe they exist (usually they have the best intentions). It's set up like school, so many children in one room it's hard for the teacher to be on top of every little thing. Open communication is the key without offending or attacking them just let them know your concerns. Your the best advocate for your child. Good luck.
Write the teacher a note, listing one or two things your son's says, and ask her who in class your son might have learned that behavior. This is not accusing her of anything but rather insinuating he is learning this from another kid (even though you and I both know he is probably mimicking the teacher.)
