Preschool - San Francisco,CA

I think it's pretty normal. Keep sending him he needs to get used to being out of his comfort zone with grandma for kindergarten next year. This is great practice. If he cries don't feed into it just go.

A couple of mine went through that, actually the younger two. What I will say is unless you are hearing from his teachers that he is miserable then assume it is all show for mom. Like my youngest would cry when I dropped her off, apparently that ended a minute after I left, and then would cry when I picked her up cause she didn't want to leave her friends.

There just ain't no pleasing those kids!

Sometimes they just want to feel like they have a bit of control. Make sure he knows you are there for him but this is a new grand adventure. He will settle in.

My son hit that wall about 2 weeks into 3 year old preschool, lasted about 7 or 8 school days. He was fine after that. My preschool teacher-friend says that she sees that process all the time with the children.

We told him that we love him, would think of him, and specifically who would pick him up/when. It may help to find out if there's a time that he is more anxious than others (i.e. bathroom, lunch, lining up, circle time)... sometimes impossible, I know, but worth checking. My son was really intimidated by some "bigger kids" using the bathroom. This didn't come out of him until weeks afterward, but he eventually talked about it.

Please DON'T be the mom that doesn't let HIM go. I saw that situation with a little boy in my son's school all year long. It was sad to see.

Totally normal. We just got back from a week long family vacation and our 3 year has cried nightly as I put her to bed explaining she does not want me to go to work and she wants to stay home. She has been in daycare/preschool and summer camps since she was 8 weeks old. So, leaving is nothing new to her, BUT spending extra time with us is special. Of course she has a blast while she is at camp, but this week has been rough. I try to explain that I HAVE to go to work and she CANNOT stay home alone.

Keep at it, he needs to get use to is....Kindergarten is not all that far off. At some point, he will have to get use to it, so better to stick to it now rather than send the message that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to go.

My kid can be left anywhere with childcare like Sunday school, preschool, Bible study childcare, the gym. He loves it and is always excited to go...until the first time he does something wrong and is scolded by the teacher/caregiver. Then he never wants to go back. That may have happened to your child. If so, your child will be fine.

Your doing fine. This is normal. I am sure when you pick him up he will be happy to see but also will have had a great day. As long as you like the school and teachers I think things are fine.

I wouldn't worry as long as you're comfortable with the staff at the school. It's pretty usual for kids to be excited in the first few days and then decide they're not sure about being dropped off. That happened with my daughter also (20+ years ago!) but as long as the staff has the time and ability to be nurturing and loving while they deal with their separation anxiety, everything will be fine in the long run. It's also important that you make a quick and single exit - no 2nd good-byes, etc. That makes it harder on everyone.

Good luck!

J. F.

It's normal for a child to be excited the first few days, then have some second thoughts. Of course he misses being with Grandma, and he's figured out that pre-school isn't just a brief interlude, but will be ongoing from now until he enters school.
Is he going to pre-school full days or part days? Perhaps it would be a good compromise to have him attend a half-day pre-school and spend part of the day with Grandma, assuming she's still available and willing. I wouldn't simply take him out of pre-school, because he does need to learn to cope with new experiences in his life and this is a good age for him to begin that process.

I agree w/all....keep going to school. He will adjust & be fine. Chances are, any drama he's showing before school at home & when you drop him at school are very short-lived once you leave. If it gets any worse, you can talk to the teacher about easing the transition or even stay at school a bit longer to ease it. If you're worried something bigger is going on, then volunteer in class to see how the day is going. You can give your son a pic of your family to keep in his backpack for times he's feeling sad. But if he has no real concrete conplaints & nothing serious is going on, then if you give in & pull him now, it will just teach him if he makes a big enough stink, he'll get his way. Good luck!

Of course they do! The novelty has worn off. Now it's just like going to school/work every day. Most of us would rather stay home, but we can't. I think you have to explain to him that his days of being home all day are over and from now on it will be school and after that work. It's just a part of life they have to get used to. So, when he says to you that he'd rather stay home, tell him you would too but unfortunately that's not possible so we'll do it together!

I think that this is normal for a 3-4 year old. Maybe you could ease him into it a little by taking him 3 days a week instead of 5 and still let grandma watch him the other 2 days. Another suggestion could be to have the grandma take him to preschool instead. Then, if he's having a problem going she could stay for a little bit until he gets more comfortable there. Hope this helps some, good luck!

my son has been in my care since he was a newborn. He is now 3 and finally in school 3 days a week and 2 other days with his grandma.

Some days are better then others. Them crying is just natural. Being a mom, day care provider and working for a day care, i see this all the time. However, when its your own child, it crushes you to see them cry and not want u to leave.

It took me to finally just suck up my own guilt and walk out, knowing my son is in his school screaming off the top of his lungs for me to come back, I just have to keep walking out!

See I like staying for 10mins, hanging out, playing with his friends, talking with the teachers and then I finally leave. So i prolong my good bye, which in the beginning was fine, as my son never had a problem saying bye. He LOVED his friends and the school. So my transition was simple.

There are days were he still cry's (just this week). I was late 2 times because I couldn't walk out hearing him scream. Finally the 3rd day of this i finally had to say I love you, mommy will be back, and just walked out hearing him scream.

Called him when I got to work and he was fine. He was just that much more excited to see me when I picked him up.

We as mothers instantly want to console a sad child and ease their pains. Its just programmed into us. So naturally its VERY hard to just walk out. But really they will be fine. If the teachers/nanny/day care provider are really good at what they do, they will do your job for you and console your child, make them feel secure and safe once again.

I make it a point at the daycare i work at to hug each and every child who struggles to let their parents leave. I allow them one more hug, kiss and then the chance to wave good bye at the window. Always being by their side. Then I redirect their attention and they are fine. Some take longer then others.

Do know, your sons reaction is normal. Just reassure him he will be fine, you will be back and you will see him soon.

Over time it will get easier.

We promised our son he could go to school when he was potty trained. So, we let him go 3 days a week for 3 hours. We picked him up before lunch and everyone was happy. They kept asking me if I wanted to leave him there longer. NO WAY! I wanted to be with my kids - so it was a nice balance for us.

Then our son got into kindergarten and did really well, but was SO done with school by the end of K, so we brought him home, changed our work schedules to accomodate our child/family and started homeschooling. He's never been happier. We ask him on a regular basis if he wants to go back to school and he always replies, "No way."

Good luck with whatever you do, but remember there is always time to go to school later. Maybe let him enjoy his grandma longer?