Preparing for Number 2

Have a big boy day for him. So if you already have the bed take him out to buy new bedding that he could help pick out and be ezcited about. While you are shopping, have dad pack away the crip so that there is no fall back for him or you. Make a choice and stick to it. It may take a cuple nights but he will be fine.for when you come home from thae hospital, you could have a goodie basket so that when big brother is in need of praise he could have a goodie ($1 store stuff). Cars and stuffed animals even snackes and juice boxes. So that when you feed the baby , big bro could sit with you and have his little snack also. This basket could also carry the cordless phone, bottle of water for mom and a power bar, for mom to snack on . Also include a pad and pen to write you list on. Good luck and gos bless

I think the book we bought when we were having our second was "What to Expect When the Baby Comes Home" or some such thing. It is VERY informative. My six year old still likes to look at it every once in a while.

I would agree with not moving your little one out of the crib until you absolutely have to. If he sleeps well in his crib, don't mess with it, for your sake and his! My 2 year old is almost ready for a big bed and she is our last bambino. If you are interested in a used crib that is in great condition for cheap, send me a message. I would love to see it get some more use!

Hi D.,

We moved our son into a bed at 19 months in preparation for #2, he did great and actually never gets out. The day we switched him we talking about growing up and how having a big bed was part of the process. He protested all day when we asked if he was ready to move to the big bed, but when it was time to get in bed and read books he hopped right into his new bed. He was so proud to be in a big boy bed and to be able to snuggle with mom and dad during story time.

After the baby arrives the best advice I have is to make sure you take care of his needs before you sit down to nurse/feed the new baby. I let my son know my intentions to feed his sister and also ask if there is anything he needs before I do it. It has really helped with the frustration of having to share mommies time.

Good luck, it is a true joy to have two and watch them interact.

Jess

My oldest was a bit older when his baby brother was born, about 26 months. But I tried to start getting him out of his crib when he was 18 months old. He did NOT do well. He was all for it during the day, but at night, he got out of bed just because he could, but was so tired he'd scream his head off.
After a sleepless week for both of us, I just put him back in his crib and bought another crib.

I don't know how much you intend to pay for a toddler bed, but you'd have to pay at least $40 for another crib/toddler mattress. Maybe you could search Craigslist or yard sales for a used crib. My second crib cost $50, including a mattress, side rails for when my son WAS ready for a toddler bed, and an under-crib drawer. We lucked out and the cribs looked quite a bit alike. We ended up using that second crib for years, as a toddler bed for our oldest, because it saved so much space compared to a twin bed--and we didn't want to spend the money for a twin bed when he fit in a toddler bed just fine. But mostly, it eased my mind and his by not having to force him out of a crib before he was ready. And it may not cost you any more than buying a toddler bed!

I had a similar situation. A daughter who was 17 months old when her younger brother was born. I put her on a mattress on the floor when she was twelve months old. She moved around a lot too but it didn't matter since the mattress was on the floor (sometimes she slept on the floor so if you have a hardwood floor put down a nice rug). I put the crib up and she did not associate it with herself. I think two months would be long enough for this too work.

We just talked to my 17 month old (she had a older sister(3) who was very excited to have a brother so that helped too). But just talk to him and keep telling him what will happen it helps a lot. My kids talked to my belly too and were very excited when their brother was born. In fact my 17 month old daughter (who wasn't really talking much) cooed and cooed at her brother when he was born. Giving the older brother big boy jobs with his little brother helps too. (hold this for me, sit and watch your brother with me or if he is an active boy run around while I hold you brother to make him smile etc.) helps too. My 17 month old was very independent child the only difference in what she did was she insisted in sitting in my lap more something she rarely did before he was born.

Your first isn't quite old enough to benefit from a lot of preparation. Though there are a few picture books about welcoming a new baby which we enjoyed. What worked for us and close friends (4 pair) who had kids with this spacing was having the baby give the older child a gift at the hospital - something fun to play with. You'll appreciate this, too, when you need a bit of rest as the parent of 2 small kids. Another trick is to constantly reassure your older son that his new baby loves him, is infatuated with him, is watching him, is interested in him... Everyone loves flattery, and this helps the older child feel like he isn't being replaced. We gave my older son tasks that made him feel helpful - like fetching a diaper or burp cloth, or entertaining the baby while we changed her. These made him feel so proud, and helped reassure him that he wasn't being replaced.

Regarding your more focused question - the crib - you might want to get a pack n play or something of that nature for the younger baby as if your older son is not ready to move out of the current crib, you won't enjoy the process of putting him in a toddler bed. 2 months before a baby is arriving is not the time to interrupt your night time rituals. (We're the only family of the 4 I know with the same spacing that had the older child in a big guy bed before the second came along, and we made the transition at 10 mos when my older son was climbing out of his crib.) The majority of our neighbors (10 kids in total) kept their kids in cribs until 2.9 - 3 yrs. So, if you can afford it, and your older son is not a climber, you might find an alternative solution for the crib move for now. If you want to move to a toddler bed, for my son, it meant that one of us had to sleep with him or lay with him to get him to stay in bed. With my daughter - the type of kid who wanted to be left alone - we're just accepting of the fact that she's roaming around their room until she wants to go to sleep unless we want to struggle and keep putting her back in bed. Sheets, fancy night lights, ticket systems, etc. haven't really been effective.

Congratulations and best of luck.

My first 2 are 18 months apart. We just picked up a second crib used. It worked out GREAT. Also, our 2nd child slept in the pack and play for quite a long time- like 9-10 months- he didn't care and it was a very convenient bed we had on hand at the time. So, don't rush your 1st baby (and he is still a baby) out of his bed yet... Mine loved their cribs and the security they felt from them. Plus, there's no reasoning with a 17 mo about staying in their toddler bed yet.

Mine are 17 mos apart too! We found there wasn't much we could do to prepare the older one, other than talking about the baby. The most important thing we did, was make sure we made time for her after the baby came - sometimes harder to do than it sounds. This seemed to help with the "regression" type behavior. She was never aggressive, so I guess we were lucky. My best advice there, is to set aside some time your son can do some special things with you or his Dad... make him feel like a special big brother.

Regarding the bed. Don't rush the move. It's much easier to manage two when they are both in cribs... and even then it can be challenging to get sleep schedules down. I suggest using the pac and play for the baby and keeping your son in a crib - or borrowing a crib from a friend - or buying one used. We moved my daughter out of her crib after the baby came - 4 mos later - and it was a tough transition for her. Sometimes, they just stay in their beds... she didn't. She would come get us several times a night at first. I can't imagine dealing with that and a newborn.

Good luck and enjoy! How exciting.