Potty Training Truth

I haven't read the responses, so my apologies if thsi is a repeat. My advice would be to take a break. She's only 2 and frankly, few learn at 2. They're just starting to get interested if at all. Get her some story books, maybe a potty insert, let her watch you go but don't push her. Wait for her to show an interest. Thsi may not be for months, but don't sweat it.

My son learned really early compared to his peers -- he was 2 1/2. Most were closer to 3 if not 3 1/2. I think that's more the norm.

Look at the big picture. Does it really matter if a child is potty trained at age 2, 3, or 4? If she doesn't mind hanging out in wet panties, then she is not ready to potty train.

My experience with this... At 2 1/2, my oldest told me one day that she wanted to wear panties and that was it. She potty trained herself. Never bought pull ups. She stayed dry even at night. My second child could not be bribed to use the potty even if his life depended on it. He kept his underwear dry long enough to go to preschool for a few hours. I had to put a pull up on him in the car so he wouldn't pee in his underwear on the way home. It was frustrating, but I could not make him want to do something he did not want to do. My third child was somewhere in between the first two, as far as ease of potty training goes.

No one wins when it becomes a power struggle. Take it easy for now. Maybe try again when the weather is warmer and she can run around bottomless. At home, of course. :)

Firstly, don't stress yourself! She's completely within the range of normal. The "normal" range for kids to potty train is 18-36 months. She's fine & I think it's totally cool of you to ease up on the pressure so well done mom!

There are few books I've had to read to my schooling & they all say the following:
18-36 months is the "norm"
Get a potty & let her sits when she's ready.
Forcing is bad
Get a dvd for her to watch (Elmo's Potty Time is a favorite)/books for her to read (Karen Katz "A Potty For Me!" is cute & is a fun flip book so they love it too.

They are ready to potty train when they do the following:
can complete 2 basic commands (eg. pick up your ball & bring it to mommy...poor example I know but I can't think of anything else)
can take all of their clothes off & put clothes on.
tell you when they have gone or are about to go.

Anyway you decide to do it, don't pressure yourself or her, it will happen & you will make the right choice for your daughter...trust your instincts.

Good luck!

i would advise you to back off and train when SHE is ready. i have done that with both of my boys, my oldest NEVER had an accident(he trained at 3.5), my second had a couple of accidents, but that's it(he was also 3.5). there are SO many battles you will face in parenting, i wouldn't make potty training one of them.

Hi Jodi,
I have a 5 year old and a new 3 year old. Both boys.
My eldest took forever to be fully trained. I would have to say a good year of just going potty when he wanted to. I really had no problem with it and let him take his time. Once he was trained, he never had an accident in his pants. My 2nd had some issues and would just cry when seated on the potty. Even with yummy candy dangling in front of him so I backed off and let him go when he wants just like my first. He almost always goes poo poo in the potty but still pees in his diapers but for right before his bath. I did try using training pants but he really didn't care if they got wet so I didn't force the issue. All kids are different so it's really hard to say for each child. But if they don't want to, they don't want to. I would suggest totally backing off for a month or two and try again. If you push it, it will take longer and they can have some "potty issues" come up from time to time. I would suggest that you simply take a more relaxed view of her becoming trained and just think of it as a long transitional period till she "gets it" and uses it all the time.
Best Regards,
C.

Hi Jodi,

My daughter will be turning 4 in March and she is JUST NOW deciding to use the potty. We had our second daughter when my first was 21 months old and I made a decision not to hurry up and potty train her only because of another baby coming. I have never really made a big deal about using the potty. I just continued to waste my money on pull-ups and the diapers for my younger daughter. I work full time at a day care and both of my daughter's are able to come with me. My 3 year old could not go into the 3 year old room until she wore panties. Finally the director decided to move her in there anyhow and that is when my daughter decided it was time for panties. So I am pretty much in the same boat you are at the moment. She does great all day at school not wetting on herself but when she has to poop she goes in the panties. I am still not making a big deal about this and I am just letting her take her time with it. My daughter is not much of a constant pooper anyhow so we have very few accidents. However, when she takes a nap and goes to bed at night I still put her in a pull-up. I have discovered everytime I do this she goes back to peeing in her pull-up. So I am starting to think I should not go back and forth from pull-ups to panties and just clean up her messes for a little while.

After I have read this now I don't feel like I have left you with much advice. All I can really tell you is to hang in there and give her time. This is not something you can force them to do. When she is ready and her body is ready she will do it. Just keep putting her in panties(if you do not mind the messes) and give her time. Know that you are not alone in this and potty training is just another lesson learned in parenting.

GOOD LUCK!

K.

Happily married (finally) 30 year old mommy to two girl's. Ages 1 and 3.

Hi, Jodi! I watched a close friend try to potty train her son as soon as he turned 3 and it took close to a year! I decided that I would let my son do it when he was ready. I first approached it about 3 months after his 3rd birthday and he wasn't interested at all. He was like your daughter- perfectly content in dirty pants and he would cry if I made him sit on the potty. So, we stopped trying and waited a few more months. We still talked about how big boys went in the potty, but I didn't make him try. When he hit about the 3 1/2 year mark, he told me that he needed to go "tee tee" and he went to the potty! Ever since then, he's been potty trained. I did take away all pull ups as soon as he started regularly going, though, b/c he tended to have "accidents" more in those then normal underwear (I think b/c it feels just like a diaper!) Any way, I hope that helps! If you're frustrated, it might be a good time to just step back and wait :)

It sounds like she isn't ready. She does not have any of the signs that she is ready to PT.

I followed the advice of my pediatrician. He said you can start trying to PT now and your kids will PT in about a year (with a year of struggles) or you can wait until they are ready and PT in a year without the struggles. I chose to do the latter and both my boys were easy to PT when they were ready.

She's still little and there is no shame in waiting until she is a bit older and ready to PT.

I think you have to go about this by making it fun for her. My daughter was the same way and would not go potty (very head strong) she was 28 months as well when I potty trained her. I went out bought tons of panties, fun box with tons of toys and treats. I stayed by her side for 3 days. When I noticed she was peeing I rushed her to the potty. It was a mess and I was ready to give up after the first day, but I kept trying. By the second day she was mad at me and telling me to give her a diaper because she was peeing on herself. I just sat her down and explained that big girls get to do big girl things (go to the park) or whatever works for her. If she started using the potty then she was a big girl and she could do these special things. By the third day it worked and she was potty trained. Poop took a little longer, but that was my fault because I wasn't very concerned about that at first I was just more worried about the peeing. I have had friends who kids potty trained themselves before they were two so I guess it can happen. I potty trained my son at 24 months in 3 days as well, but his went much easier I think because he was still not in the 2's stage :). Best of luck!

Relax! Mine was 4 before she was fully potty trained. I was in the same boat - full time SAHM. I used to feel embarassed, because I thought I had no excuse.... I was home all day - why wasn't my little girl using the potty. (For the record, I have 2 older kids who were potty trained by the time they were two).

My daughter could care less about being in wet panties just like yours. She is also one of the most independent and stubborn people I have ever known! Finally I gave up trying and used some reverse psychology on her. I'd tell her stuff like "too bad you're still wearing diapers, if you used the potty, you could go to preschool". I also had a big gift that she really wanted that I kept in the linen closet in the bathroom. She knew that in order to have it - she needed to use the potty.

When it FINALLY happened, we had a party for her, inviting some close family and friends. They all knew why we were celebrating, and brought small gifts, we had a cake (should have seen the look the bakery-lady gave me) and generally made a huge deal.

She did it on HER terms, not mine. And she's day trained, night trained and hasn't had any accidents.

Mine was "scared" too. I made a potty box. Big box of stuff - bubbles, markers, stickers, ect. I showed it to her and told her she could only play with it while sitting on the potty. Worked for me.