Potty Training Question

You have gotten a lot of good tips already, but I thought I would throw in a couple that helped me.

We did what both of my daughters still refer to as the "potty beep". This was the timer on the microwave set for 20 minutes to start out with and gradually increasing time the second day. When the beep went off we went to the potty and tried to go, no matter what was going on then they helped me reset the timer again. It helps get the idea of going across and if you go that often it is way less likely an accident can happen.

The other thing we did was use the character underpants. Each morning when we put them on we would talk about keeping Dora, Elmo, Spiderman, etc. happy. I explained it made them sad when they got all wet, but keeping them dry made them happy. Toddlers are very big on pleasing even if it is the character on their underpants. This also led to reinforcing every time they went to the potty that Dora was happy, so it was like praise from that character too.

Good Luck

I stayed home for two days with my kids and gave them lots to drink. I didn't put underwear or anything on them cause if I did they went in them. It bothered them so much to go on the floor that it only took one time and they went to the potty. Good luck!

Just keep her in her underwear - no more diapers. Also, it's summer so you can keep her without pants on -if you have a back yard or a playroom you can put a big comforter down on to "catch" the pee. Kids HATE to pee down their legs and will go potty instead.

If you've been working on this for "months" with a 2 1/2 year old, it sounds like you could be rushing her. Especially now that she is trying to regress to baby status again.

Are you pushing her in multiple ways to be more grown up? If so, you might be experiencing a rebound effect. Look at your overall situation from her perspective, and if she's verbal enough, ask her questions or have her complete fill-in-the-blank stories about her hopes and wishes. For example, "There was a little girl who wanted her mommy to ____. So they talked about it, and the little girl said ____. The mommy asked if she would please go potty first, and the little girl said ____. (If no, the mommy asked her why.)"

Depending on her responses, you can guide the story in different directions. This is a wonderful way to find out where a toddler is on all kinds of issues. And when you look at life from a toddler's point of view, you will be astounded at how frustrating and perplexing it can be. These little ones often desperately need a break from too much control and scheduling and arbitrary rule-making for the convenience of grown-ups. We don't bring these precious little beings into the world for the purpose of frustrating them.

A very wise parenting expert states that, from the child's own point of view, she "always has a valid reason for what she does." In my experience, learning to recognize, validate, and flow with the child's needs reduces stress for both child and parent. And you're still the one in charge. When you approach the situation honestly and creatively, you will have fewer differences of opinion, and fewer conflicting needs and expectations. And more peace and joy in the family.

Good luck to you!

Get rid of the diapers AND pull ups- Completely - throw them away...
Go out a buy a bunch of underware (like 30 pairs), and spend an entire weekend with her - no laundry - no cooking - no errands - no going anywhere. Play with her, and watch her closely - you'll see the clues that she is ready to pee or poop, and run her to the toilet and sit her on it. Do it over and over again - and *never* scold her for an accident - just say - "let's try to keep this next underware dry".

We did this with our son, and within 3 days, he was potty trained for pee, and within 2 months, poop. You'll have to clean dirty underware, but it's cheaper than diapers - and she won't be getting anymore "mixed signals".

S.

My daugter turned two in May and we are doing the potty training thing too. First and formost, don't force. Some kids aren't ready until they are 3 or even older. The thing that seems to be working for us (if you can handle it) is letting her run around with no pants or panties on. After a couple of times of them feeling it run down their legs they really start to figure it out. I keep her potty nearby at all times. We still don't wake up dry but we'll get there. I basically have let her do it all on her own on her own terms. Be patient, it will happen.

We were huge fans of the Elmo "Potty Time" DVD bonus for us is we had/have the same potty as the kids in the DVD. It's the cheep white and blue one I think you can get it at both Target and Wal-Mart. We also used the Elmo potty book and a few other potty books. Reading to her at the potty helped her relax to go. We also did do the rewards for her going 1 jelly bean for peeing and three for pooping. Now she just gets a couple each night for going without accidents which we most likely will be stopping soon!

This is the age that we got our daughter potty trained. She was sleeping through the night staying dry. Always taking her diaper off trying to clean herself after pooping...We went out together and bought new undies plain nothing fancy. Washed them together folded them together and started her wearing them. She was so proud of herself preparing for this. We tried hard not to push her and not to yell at her if she had an accident and within a few weeks she was daytime potty trained. Now she did regress in that she is no longer waking up at night dry. But she will get there!

Best of luck!

I have 3 1/2 year old twin girls and they both were ready at different times. Go with what your daughter is wanting. If she wants to be your baby one day and wear diapers then let her. I found that if I left the issue alone and let them pick either diaper or underpants, they will let you know when they are ready. I would ask yourself the question, is it more important for you to get her to the next step b/c you are ready or for her to learn to listen to her body and tell you when she is ready?

Hi L.,
We let our oldest be naked from the waist down. As soon as she started to pee we would run to the potty. She began to anticipate the the urge to pee and then knew what to do about it. Also... she was responsible for cleaning up her "mess". We would give her a towel to wipe it up and then I use a cleaner. We have hard wood floors in most of our house so the mess was really easy to clean.
If your pumpkin is starting to want to be a "baby" again... I would back off a touch and let her lead the way. Since she knows what being wet is like, has the bladder control to stay dry, and knows how to use the potty. It's pretty much up to her. Peer pressure starts really young... if there are any other little cousins, friends, etc. that are potty trained have them help.
Best of luck to you and I promise... it will happen!!
MJ

We're gearing up for the same thing with our 2.5yr old daughter. It's been going pretty much the same as you. It was the same thing when my oldest was potty training.

This weekend we will be going commando. We just bought her a potty seat at Ikea (we have a ring for the toilet too). She will be wearing dresses (or big shirts) most of the day without a diaper, except for nap time, bed time, and meal time, and we will have available anytime, anywhere her little potty seat. We spend a lot of time out side so if she has an accident no biggie. With the oldest we tried taking her to the potty all the time (every hour or so) that didn't work, we tried M&M's no go, then we did commando and with in a week we were having dry days. Within a month we even had dry naps and within 3 months even 100% dry nights.

HTH
E.

Change the diaper ON YOU TIME. Don't give in to her demands. She is manipulating you already. Icky diapers don't feel good. Don't play her game, play yours.

When we potty trained our son at age 3 we set aside 3 or 4 days and that's all we did. I bought a bunch of underwear. I bought a bunch of the thicker cotton training underpants that absorb a little more (training underpants) as well as normal "fun" underpants. I brought the potty chair into the living room, bought some nifty snacks and we watched movies with him on the potty. The potty stayed in the living room for the whole time and every hour we sat on it for 30 minutes or so. At first he was stubborn, but as soon as he realized that he was done with diapers, and I wasn't kidding he quickly started using it and we had no problems. The key is to stick to your guns and not give up (no diapers during the day). At the time he couldn't make it through the night so we bought special nighttime pull-ups, but they were only for nighttime and they came off right when he woke up. He's been potty trained for over a year and we've only had a few accidents. It was pretty quick once he new that I meant business.

Good luck!

She might not be ready to train yet. Or maybe you can reward her with m&m's or something else that she loves.

http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child-Just/dp/B001...
I did this about a week ago and it was great! My daughter was at a similiar stage as yours, I tried to lay off on the promting her with the potty for aboout a week and just accepted her diaperedness. Then I got all the potty books and videos from the library for the big day. We got her the Emma doll the doll did leak but it's ended up that this doll is her new best friend. We 'threw away' her diapers.I put cloth trining pants on her at night but she was so excited about using the potty and showing emma and getting a sticker that she stayed dry all night and woke up a bit earlier than usuall to use the potty. The poop was the hardest part because she was more comfortable doing it in her diaper, I had a lot of good fiber in her diet. The first couple times she would start going in her underwear then tell me, I just praised her and applauded her for telling me and getting part in the potty then just said uh oh there is some mess in the underwear then talked about how emma does and dosn't go poop. It's been at least a week since the party and no accidents! Anyway you probably heard a lot about this in the other posts (I didn't read them) I am just so happy about the whole thing, and excited to share it with others, it's fun!

Elmo has a potty training book, stickers or buy a bag of cowboys and Indians for prizes or similar toys. Say bye bye peepee/poopoo. Talking to her or reading a book on the potty to get her to relax is key. Does she have friends that she may see go potty? Remind her she will always be your baby even if she's a big girl. Hang in there and it will take awhile. She'll get there.

Hi L.,
Both my children (girl and boy) were potty trained long before 2yrs, and sounds like she is ready if she’s letting you know. Spend a week and go naked! Bring your little potty and a stack of books to someplace you are and let her go bare bottom. If you have to go out use underwear and go to the bathroom as soon as you get there, and then take her every hour. We did a pull-up at night, but not necessary if your willing to get up at night for potty and wash sheets. We co-sleep so I just didn’t want to go there. So we did a pull-up at night for about 6 months out. We did not do stickers or candy, just praise; going potty is just something you do, and we always went together if I had to go. We also traveled with our ‘little potty’ in the car for about 6 months out. Be prepared for accidents and do a little extra laundry. Good luck!

You've got some great advice already, but I just wanted to reinforce it because I feel so strongly about it. If potty training is done at the right time and in the most effective way for your child, it can save you SO much headache. First, I would wait until this "mommy's baby" thing cools a bit. My second son would always talk about how "too little" he was for everything until he learned to climb the ladder of his big brother's bunk bed. Then all of a sudden "I'm a big boy, I can climb the ladder!" I totally capitalized on that and it worked. But of course only you know your daughter best, so do what feels right. AMEN on getting rid of pull-ups and diapers, it can confuse kids so much when sometimes its ok to potty in their pants and sometimes its not. And then they start having accidents in their underwear because they don't want to stop what they're doing (and sometimes its ok to just go in my pants, so maybe this time will be too?!) and eventually the feeling of wet pants doesn't bother them, and then it's REALLY hard because they're confused and unmotivated. I did use pull-ups at nap and bedtime, but I explained that they are still big boy pants and not undies and not to go potty in them, and I would take them to the potty just before and JUST after bed/nap time and immediately change them into underwear. I also got the cool-feeling ones because then at least there's a similar/uncomfortable sensation if they do go in them. At first its ALOT of work for you, I felt like I was the one who was trained (I loved the idea of the timer, that is great), but you can't expect them to get it right away. I took them every half hour and then as they and I started figuring things out we extended the time and (for my boys) within a week they were accident free and telling me before they had to go. I also set up a sticker and small treat reward system to motivate them. My oder son only needed a reward when he actually went, he would sit on the potty no problem. My second one needed motivation (a Mike & Ike or M&M) to sit on the potty, then a larger motivation (a sticker) when he actually went. Eventually I didn't need the the treat. Also, I waited until we had a really good foundation (they were telling me before they needed to go potty, and we had very few to no accidents-at least 3 days into it) before I took them anywhere, and yes, I did use pull-ups the first few times, but I took them to the potty and asked them if they needed to go more often than I needed to, because I didn't want to lose any ground we had gained. Anyway, sorry this is so long. Hopefully it makes sense. You know your daughter best and her motivation/personality, you'll figure it out. Hopefully this helps you to have as simple and headache-free experience as possible. Good luck!

Hi I have a 3 year old daughter... I waited until just before she was 3 to start potty training her. Before that I would tell her that soon she would be using the "big girl potty" and she watched other girls (her little friends at play group who are older than her)leave with their moms to go and use the bathroom. I would point out to my daughter that so and so was leaving to go use the restroom and told her someday soon that would be her and I. I considered this to be pre-potty training. My only advice to you is not to get into a power struggle with your daughter. Have you considered backing off on potty training for a bit? Maybe she is just not quite ready? The best of luck to you.....just remember soon the potty training will happen!!!

It seems to me that potty training can be done many different ways and the only way to know how to go about it is to take cues from the child. My son was about 2 or 2 1/2 when I realized that he wasn't wearing a wet diaper in the morning, so I figured he didn't need one at night anymore and he started sleeping in his pajamas without diapers. He didn't like underwear either. He still doesn't. The only way he'll wear them is if they are a size too big. The first couple of mornings without a night diaper, he would ask me to put one on him, but I pretended to be busy and told him I would as soon as I could. Well, I was always purposely slow about getting to his diaper and he would scream at me and I would tell him that if he couldn't hold it anymore, to just go pee in the toilet because my hands were busy. It was quite a climb for him, but he made it every time. (The first morning I snuck into the bathroom and took a picture of him.) I guess that kind of got the ball rolling. I didn't have any reason to get him potty trained right away. He doesn't go to day care or anything, so I just let him get tired of waiting for me to take off a wet diaper and waiting for me to put a fresh diaper on and sometimes, I would put the diaper on so that it would be uncomfortable and he would have to instruct me on how to get it right. The weather was warm enough for shorts, so I would let him play outside in a long shirt and nothing else. He loved wearing nothing but a long shirt. It's so comfortable, especially when it's hot. If he peed without squatting or lifting his shirt, he would get it wet and he hated that, so it didn't take long for him to get used to going to the potty in the yard to pee without getting all wet. I suppose this would be even more effective with a girl, considering the pee will run down her leg and that feels awful. Anyway, after a while, my son stopped yelling at me for a diaper and he just started peeing in the toilet because it was a lot less of a hassle for him. On his fourth birthday, he announced to me that he was four now and so he didn't need me to wipe his butt anymore and so ended the complete potty training stage of his life. From the time that he was one, I had endured the occasional comment from friend or family member about when I was going to potty train him and my response has always been this: "I don't see many teen agers running around with diapers on and so I'm sure he will start using the toilet sometime before he starts liking girls. I'm fine with that and if it bothers you then maybe my potty training decisions will help you to accept that there are things you cannot control." As for her talking about being your baby: She is your baby and she always will be. Let her know that lots of babies go pee in the potty. If you have the time to let her potty train in her own way, you'll be so much happier. This is just what I did with my own son. Like I said before, there are many ways to potty train.

Don't let anyone insult her capabilities by saying she's not ready. Of course she is! The book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day worked like a charm on our 27-month old boy. You can get it cheap on amazon.

Until you get it, you could give her loose fitting underwear (or let her go bottomless; big deal if it's at home and she refuses underwear - don't get her agitated). Teach her how to pull them up and down. Put a little potty (that she can empty) in a convenient place, and teach her to wipe herself. Tell her she is a big girl and is going to use the potty now. Give her plenty to drink (of things she wants to drink). If she starts to pee somewhere other than the potty, act horrified and scream, and grab her by the hand and run with her to the potty. That will probably stop her from peeing anymore, and teach her to get quickly to the potty. Reward her for using the potty, and for staying dry, with treats (teach the difference between wet and dry). Tell her how proud her favorite characters are of her when she uses the potty, and how proud Grandma and Auntie... are of her. Those are parts of the process, but it will be more successful if you get the book and really go through all the steps. It worked in "less than a day" for us, although I did do a brief refresher course a couple of weeks later because he was only about 97%. He's been diaper free for 7 months now, and we're loving it!

Although I have a sweet 5 yr old boy and no girl, I do know that with potty training, comes patience, consistency, and routine. Also, remember that it takes 15-30 min for food/drink to digest. Watch for her cues. I would create routine times for when you can have her go to the bathroom. (I.E. When she gets up, when you leave the house, before bed...etc.)
I didn't do the reward system for my son. I didn't believe that he needed to be treated to do something that was natural. I figured that he wouldn't be 18 and doing the same thing...expecting to get a treat either, eh? Get rid of the diapers during the day. No pull ups either. Wearing those only contributes to the problem.
She might also not be ready. Although I've heard that girls are usually prepared to use the potty before boys. If she's showing signs she is ready, then I would move to the next step.

We had a "bye-bye diaper party" and said good bye to all the diapers and put them in the garbage. (I waited until there were only a few left.) I got a cake and let my son pick out his special big-boy underwear at the store. Then we went potty every 20 minutes for 3 days straight. I got a kitchen timer and set it for 20 minutes, and when it went off we cheered: "yeh!!! potty time!!!!!" and we went potty. I had him sit for no more than about 60-90 seconds and if he went, great, we had stickers, clapped, cheered... if not, no big deal, we went again in 20 minutes whether he went potty or not. He was done with accidents in about 3 days.

Oh, you are sooo close! We also used the Elmo potty doll. My daughter was off and on for a while around this age too and I kind of backed off. She picked it back up after a little boy (also around her age) was using the potty.

We renewed our effort with a sticker chart and treats for when she went in the potty. It took a few more weeks, but it stuck. We also made sure we were waking her up once per night to go potty (even if she was 1/2 asleep). It was rough, but she now gets her self out of bed at night to go (she is almost 4 now).

L., I have 2 daughters, nine grandkids, three of which i am raising and a daycare. All the littleones are insistant in doingit at their own rate.
being that she doesnot want towear big girl panties Iwould assume that she is smart enough to realizethatitis expected that she goon the potty when she has them on.Have you tried the stickers for when she goes?My daycarekids love them. We were having a problem withone little boy and we got thepull-ups that really make him feel wet when he goes and he hated getting wet.
Do you tell her all the things she will get to be by being a bigger girl? I would getsome craft items that she really wantsto do and a toy..let her know that these are things for big girls.Let her have some things to look forward to in being a bigger girl. Do you have any kids that she can spend some time with that are pottybroke. I find that most of my kids follow other kids especially when a big deal is made about them going potty. They want that attention....
Have you taken her with you to pick out panties?
You may have to force her to wear the panties and just put the diapers up...another thing is letting her be a part of picking out her new things....
I usually am more potty trained thanthey are inthe beginning...taking them every1/2 houruntil they go and then waitingfor an hour anda half and start all over.
Hope some of this helps..I would just give her things that wanther to be a big girl. L.

21/2 is still pretty early. She will probably be ready soon (she is showing the signs) but I would stop even sitting her on the potty and wait until she initiates it. You can make gentle suggestions or ask if she wants to sit on the potty, but let it be her choice. I think she is telling you she is not quite ready for that step yet. It will happen soon...

Hi L.,

What I did with my three girls, was keep nothing on them. When they had accidents they could see and feel it running down their legs and didn't like it. I also have hard wood floors for an easy clean up though. I never made a huge fuss about it and it seemed to work.
They all have been potty trained by the age of 2.
If she doesn't seem ready don't push just wait a couple of weeks and try again. I hope this helps a little, GOOD LUCK!!!!
A.

Train, train, train. She is still quite young and so I would not push it too much. The best thing you can do for her is to run drills. Practice running from every location in the house or outside where she plays to the potty. Then go through the whole drill of pulling down the pants, sitting, wiping, redressing, flushing, and washing hands. If she can not do any of these things on her own then she is not ready. (it is hardly worth having her only half trained and you trained the rest :-) This will not make her potty trained over night but you can bet that when she does decide (and they always do at some point) she wants to do it she will be completely ready and confident. This was really good for my kids. My 2.5yr. old boy went from diapers/pull ups straight to undies with no problems at all, even at night. That was such a wonderful suprise. (boys are usually a bit later than girls in training)
My two cents on the reward system... don't do it! It creates a entitlement mentality which is not healthy. Thinking you deserve something for everything you do, even going to the bathroom, is just plain messed up.=)
Happy training!

oh my gosh! I have been going through this too.I thought she was going to be early and easy, but has taken her own sweet time. Done the videos, plus what you have done. And treats for just "trying", that helped to get her to quit screaming. We have tried for a day or two and then backed off completely, and then all over again. Then the last few weekends we have gone to my parents cabin, taken the potty chair and lots of panties and changes of clothes and tried the no diaper thing (not super hard core, she slept with a diaper). she sat on thick towels with a diaper under it in the car or stroller. With the hepl of older cousins either taking her or letting her "go" with them or "help" them go she had a few successes. And then at home during the week we would wear panties under the diaper if we were in the house, but with the nice weather we could go just panties outside. She has been doing the take her own diaper off, throw it in the garbage and bring me a new one for months. She has begun walking funny and "change me, change me!" right after she poops for a few weeks. And last night she disappeared around the corner, I thought she might be into mischief so I went looking for her, and to my joyful surprise, she brought me a poop in the toilet bucket!
So your little one is on her way, be patient, the time is very close!!!!
oh- and I would tell her that "she was a big girl for going in the toilet, but would always be mommys baby" and give her extra attention. With weaning and potty training at the same time she was loosing some (a lot) of my attention all at once. So spend some extra snuggle time, we would read or sing songs or do flash cards on the potty too. Kind of sucks sitting on the bathroom floor fo half an hour, but that was waht she wanted. "Big girls have priveleges that babies don't get to do, like have cake, or candy, or go swimming or what ever she wants to start doing" I would talk about friends or family that go in the toilet.
have fun with doing pp laundry every day for a while, just start a small load, stop it and throw the undies in to soak, at the end of the day gather the rest of the laundry and turn it on to finish and have clean panties for tomorrow.
enjoy the process!

There are alot of aspects of children that have to be ready for using the potty regularly. The main one is they have to want to. If she isn't ready or doesn't want to don't try to force it. Just wait until she is ready. Even after she gets 'trained' she is going to have whole weeks were she doesn't seem to want to or can. Its all normal and don't worry about it.

try a jar of m&ms so if she goes on the potty she gets a candy
GOOD LUCK

Hi L.,

My son is also 2 1/2 and we've just heard about a book called something like how to potty train in 1 day. We're going to see if it's at the local library and give it a shot. It is supposed to really work great especially if you have a weekend to try it -- so maybe not just one day. I work all week so we're going to give it a weekend and see if my son is interested. The child is supposed to be showing signs previously in order for it to work, which it sounds like your daughter is. I know my babysitter had her son done in one weekend also and he just turned 2 in February. Good luck! I'll recommend the book if it works. We'll be using it before the month is out.

R. (Mom to just one little guy)

Hi L.,
We had the same problem, when we talked to our doctor about it, she told us that our son just wasn't ready yet and to be patient. Most kids I guess aren't ready to be potty trained until they are 3 years or older.
We took her advise, and waited until he was 3 before we took away the diaper. We first tried pull-ups (treating them as diapers), but our son did the same and kept soiling in them, and he refused to wear underware. So, we went "cold turkey", no undies or diapers for a few days (which sounds gross, but it worked!). He pee'd his pants once before he realized that there was nothing there to keep him dry. After that he let us put underware on him (we got rid of the pull-up idea, they were to close to the diaper), but we did invest in a plastic sheet for accidents overnight. You just got to let them make a few accidents before they realize it's icky. But, you may also have to wait until she's at least 3 years old too. Some people are lucky to have kids that train early, but I wouldn't push it or stress too much about it.
Good luck!

Oh my gosh, there is so much I could say. Sounds like your daughter is SO ready to be potty trained. She is also at that age where she wants to have the control. You just have to find what works to get her to do it. You have already gotten alot of good responses. My guess would be she doesn't want to wear panties because it will make a mess. My daughter hated the mess and the feel of urine running down her legs. Once I got her in panties she potty trained very quickly. If your daughter wears the diaper to be your baby, start casually talking about how "Mommy would love to have a big girl. Big girls wear panties and go potty in the toilet. It's time for Mommy's baby to become Mommy's big girl." Stuff like that. Have pretty panties available for her. Don't force the panties on her because it will just become a power struggle. But continually encourage and suggest that she wear them. She will surprise you one day and wear the panties.

She's not ready yet. Take a giant step back and try it again later. It will happen when she is ready. Good luck!