Potty Training My 23 Month Old

WAIT - let it be HIS idea. I tried to force it, to get him into pre-school - BIGGEST mistake. I tried too hard when he was too young, my cousin waited and it took her little boy 1 day. Yup - ONE day. Because it was his idea. But because I forced it, I've had problems for YEARS.

Good luck!

My best advice is wait until he is three. My friend started training her boy at two, and spent more than a year training him. I started both of my boys at three and spent a few days training them.

Very few boys are ready to train at this age. I also urge you to stop training.

My granddaughter is also 23 mos old. For a couple of months now they have put the potty out amongst her toys and now in the bathroom They've told her what the potty is for but did not encourage her to use it. She played with it, sat on it in her clothes, used it's closed top as a table.

Once she was obviously comfortable with the potty they began infrequently and casually talking about how to use the potty. On her own, one day, she took off her diaper and sat on the toilet but did not pee.

Now, sometimes, when she looks like she might be about to pee, one of them will grab her hand and in fun, say lets get on the potty. She's tickled and runs to get on it. A couple of times she's actually peed but mostly it's just a fun activity.

We do not think she's actually ready for full blown potty training. All of this is just to get her used to the potty and it's use.

Here's a site to help recognize readiness. http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-readiness-chec...

I have 23 yrs. experience as a St. Lic. FCCP. Rarely if ever is a 23 mo. old potty trained. They may be "Mommy trained"..but honestly..relax. For a boy you can expect between 3 and 3 1/2 yrs. old. A girl a little sooner. At 23 months they are not developmentally able to put all those brain neurons together to make that happen. He can't even get on the potty. If you do absolutely nothing...he will decided when he;s ready and it will be done. The other option is you can clean the messes up and get the stains on your carpet..and perhaps make him constipated. (They can control their BM's and withhold it for days..not a good thing)..so in my humble opinion just let it be for now.

You will be told he is too young, I don't necessarily disagree or agree with that. My daughter pee trained herself at 18 months instantly, the poop training not until she was 3. My little guy showed signs of readiness at 19 to 21 months which I ignored because his pediatrician had told me at 18 months it would put too much pressure on him to put out a potty chair. Consequently he lost interest, I'd blown my window of opportunity, but he eventually trained by 27 months, pee and poop, day and night. My mom told me she trained me at 18 months when I took off my diaper and smeared my poop on the front window. And it's a fact that people nowadays train their children later.

But the key is if YOUR your child is ready, exhibiting the skills Marda gave you the link to. If he is he's ready to train, if not you should wait and pre-train him. By pre-training I mean let him see you and anyone else in the home go to the bathroom, have his potty right there so he can mimic you. This is when he learns the skills necessary to potty train: pulling his pants down, sitting, going pee or poop, wiping, flushing, pulling his pants up and washing his hands. Work on reading his signals he has to go and whisk him to the potty then, don't wait for him to verbally tell you. My guy never told me, he just went on his own, even though he'll be 4 next month the only time he tells me is when we're out and he needs a bathroom. Once he goes on the potty it's easier for him to make the association of the feelings he has and needing to go.

If he's ready the best thing is to stay home a few days, have him go bare-bottomed, (best in warmer months, summer was golden for us) and prepare to read his signals. In addition sit him every 20 minutes or so until you know how long he can hold it, then lengthen the time between taking him. Never ask if he needs to go, tell him, "it's time to go potty." Once he's getting it and you put him in underwear use cotton trainers that stay wet, not pullups that wick the wet away. Use covers for when you go out, he will have occasional accidents.

The average time to potty train is said to be 3-6 months, if the child is ready. It took us about 3, we stopped and started 3 times during that time. Longer then that, stop, take a break, then start again a month later. Make sure your guy is really ready, show him by example, books, DVD's, videos and leave his potty accessible to him and it will go smoother compared to fighting each other if he's not.

Keep in mind that little ones have very little control in their lives, but they can control their eating, sleeping and going potty. And they will rebel if pushed, what should take very little time can take years. He's refusing and fussing right now, he's not going to cooperate, you can't make him.

Doesn't really sound like he's ready. I'd put it away and try again next month or the month after.

If you absolutely HAVE to potty train him, then you need to take the diapers off (no pull-ups), put training underwear on him and tell him what's expected. Then YOU need to take him potty every hour or so and try to encourage him to go.

My daughter potty trained her boys by letting them go naked out in the yard. It was fun for them and they caught on right away. Then it was just a matter of transferring it from outside to the potty. It worked REALLY well for her; she had no issues training any one of her three boys.

He's not ready. All you'll do is spin your wheels here, mom. He has to be ready and that's a brain thing and a developmental thing.

The more you try to make him, the more of a battle it will be and one you will lose.

Ask the ped if you don't believe me...

Dawn

You can do it. Be consistent, take him potty often. He is not too young. I agree that there is a modern idea of potty readiness, and it has led to tons of 3 and even some 4 year olds in diapers. I feel that 15-18 months is the ideal time to introduce the potty. Start talking about it get him a potty chair, and some undies. Then help him. He is young so he will need help getting to the potty and going. I started my oldest when he was that age and w/in a month he was telling me when he had to go. My younger two I started at 15-18 months and one by 21 months and the other by 22 months were telling me and dry during day and night. Your child can do it too. Plus if you get it over with before some of the 2-3 year stubbornness kicks in you will get less resistance from him.

23 months is young for a boy. There are boys who train at this age, but it's rare. That said, if you really want to try, let him run around the house without pants. Toddlers need to see the pee and poop coming out of their bodies in order to identify the feeling of needing to go. And a child who's ready to train will start making it to the potty consistently after about a week of no pants time. If he doesn't, step back and wait at least 6 months.

Mine wasn't ready till he was 3 (I wasn't either). When he was, he breezed through it. Let him follow you guys to the restroom. Have his potty there so he can "go" when you do. Pull-ups help them practice pulling pants up/down - I don't consider it really training if you have to do all the work for him anyway. Don't push. It's his body and pushing will generate resistance. Relax, it'll happen.

Some kids can train at that age and some can't.
Look for signs of 'potty readiness'.
He has to be able to tell you he needs to go potty before he goes.
At this age - they often don't know till after they went - they don't recognize the feeling beforehand.
They need to be able to pull their pants down, wipe, pull pants back on and wash their hands.
That's a level of dexterity that many toddlers don't have yet.
Also - and many forget this one - they've got to WANT to be successful at this.
It's a level of maturity that they want to feel clean and want to do this themselves.
My son trained quickly at 3.5 yrs old.
I let daycare take the lead on training (they had these tiny child sized toilets that were perfect and non intimidating and they were very experienced in potty training) and the whole class went potty every hour - it was something everyone did - so they all went along with it.
We had no power struggles at all - no fights - no crying - no rebellion.
He came home from daycare one day and showed me what he learned how to do and then I just had to follow up on weekends.

he is not ready. he is too young.

wait. when he is 2 1/3 or close to 3 he will be ready.

when he is ready.. put him in cotton training pants (thick ones) do not use pull ups they waste money.

take him to the potty every 30 minutes.. do not ask him if he has to go.. he will nto know if he has to go.. you take him potty every 30 minutes.. give him a small treat if he goes.. (m&M)

when he can stay dry for 30 minutes then go to potty time every 45 mintues.. you take him.. say potty time .. do not ask.

expect to take him potty for about a month.. after a monthe he MIGHT be able to know when he has to go. and tell you.

We just put DS in underwear and took him to the bathroom (real toilet with Bjorn seat cover) whenever he woke up, after each meal and every 2 hours if he had not been. We told him the toilet was where pee and poop go and read Tari Gomi's book 'Everyone Poops' - a lot. We acted excited for him when he went, when he had an accident, we just cleaned it up. He was 25 months old when we started. He was 25 months and 2 weeks old when he was fully trained. He had numerous accidents for about 4 days, occasional accidents for another week and 2 accidents over the next 6 months.

You need to look for what he does (change in facial expression, restlessness) before he goes and then zip him off to the bathroom so he can succeed in going on the toilet. That's why putting him on the toilet right after eating and waking are helpful - that's when most kids need to go. It's just like training a puppy - you have to catch them doing it right and let them now that's what to do. If you just sit him on a potty for a long time when he doesn't need to go - well that is boring and frustrating. While we put my son on the toilet frequently - it was never for more than one reading of 'Everyone Poops'.

Before the days of disposable diapers, the average age the American child was fully potty trained was 18 months. In the rest of the world, fully 1/2 of children are trained before their first birthday. Physiology has not changed in the last 50 year, our expectations have. No reason in the world you and your son should not succeed.

My son had absolutely no signs of 'potty readiness'. In fact, I never even heard the term until I joined Mamapedia, long after he was trained. We expect children to brush their teeth (and we brush with them) - we do NOT wait for tooth brushing readiness. Nor are we terrified that children will be forever scarred because we force loud vibrating instruments into their mouths before they exhibit readiness for this. Nope - we just brush their teeth. Same thing.

People will tell you they are not trained if they cannot/do not tell you when they need to go, cannot fully dress on their own or cannot wipe or wash their hands effectively and without reminders. Um - I would rather tell a child it's time to go and help them wash their hands than have to watch for when they have already gone, change their diaper and wash my hands.

My sister and I were trained at a year. As soon as we could walk - I know we could not dress ourselves. My brother was trained by 18 months. My mom waited because people told her boys train later. Then she decided that was just silly and she was done washing diapers.

I agree with the other moms here, it appears he's not quite ready. About a month before our daughter was ready, (she officially started potty training at 23 months and was daytime poop and pee potty trained at 24 months) we put her potties in various places. One in her bedroom... one downstairs by the TV at night. We also got her a little potty top that you can put on the big potty... she loved that. She was always looking at it, interested, and would sit on it. That's a start. Curiosity!! When my husband or I would go potty, we'd take her in with us. We'd ask her if she could hear the tee-tee. Then we'd ask if she had to go tee tee too. :) Sometimes I'd bring her potty in the bathroom when I'd go on the big potty, I'd ask her to sit on her little potty. All these little "games" I think, really prepared for her to use it the first time. Honestly.

But if he's not ready to even look at it, he's not quite ready. Don't put the potty away... keep it in a prominent place for him to see daily. His bedroom is a good place. Ask him to sit on the potty when he first wakes up and when he goes to bed. Even if he doesn't, it gets him in the routine of knowing... I go potty when i wake, i go potty when i go to bed. If he gets mad when you ask him to sit, say "it's no big deal, we'll try again later". During this time of "waiting for him to be ready", I'd still talk about the potty. Take him to the bathroom with you, ask him "do you hear it?!" my dd would laugh and say "yeah! I hear it mama!"

Let us know how it goes!!

Potty learning takes time. It's great that he is telling you when he wets his pants. Now just remind him that pee goes in the potty. Have you tried showing him videos and things while he sits on the potty? You could do 15 minutes of naked time a day also, with the potty seat close by. Sometimes it is easier for them to figure it out when they are naked.

The important thing to remember is that potty learning is a process like learning how to crawl. There are lots of things for them to learn, and you need to give them time, especially when they are younger.

Also, you need to make games of it. Race you you to the potty. Then confuse with questions: Do you want to go before me or after me?

I will have to agree with the others when they say he is not ready. I'm not gonna tell you that he is too young because he is not and my daughter was trained as 18 months. My son on the other hand it was shortly after his 3rd birthday.
When he shows more interest. Is hiding when he is going ex. sitting in a corner, behind something, then he is ready. It should typically take 3 days when they are ready. If it takes longer then they are not ready. I have seen this happen many times as I worked in a daycare center with the two year olds so I've helped train many..lol.
I would back off and just keep an eye on him. If he does start showing more interest then let him go. I think with most boys if they are pushed they tend to push right back and fight it. This then makes more work for you and frustrates both you and him.
Good Luck!