Potty Training My 2 1/2 Year Old! - Waldorf,MD

Sorry, babe, but you have a boy and this is how they do things. I wouldn't expect what you are expecting of a boy at 2, or even 2 and a half. We tried the same thing and it was ridiculous. He went in the potty for the first time at 3 years and 4 months. Now, that being said, he did an excellent job using the potty after that and had no accidents.

Hello,
My suggestion is to get rid of the pullups and try to go one weekend or two days with no underwear or pants so that he can learn the assocation b/w the feeling of peeing and going potty. Put the little toliet in the living room next to the tv so that he can still do what he is doing and go to the bathroom. Then casual move it closer and closer to the bathroom. Then give stickers for each potty usage. My son just regressed last week and We told him for each day that he kept his pants dry he would get a sticker. And with 5 stickers he gets to go to chuckie cheese. IT worked.

He's only 2! This is when you can start edging into introducing him to the potty, not expecting him to be full trained. I can see a preschool requiring potty trng, but a daycare? Keep shopping, are they kidding? If they don't want to change diapers, don' run a daycare.

Unfortunately, two is really early, on average, for a kid to be even pee potty trained. The average is about 3. I was 18 months (according to my doting mom) but my brothers were 3 and 4. I was very unusual, and my brothers were, well, boys!

And the more you push, the less luck you'll have. It will not happen until he is physically ready and he has to WANT IT. If you have a stubborn kid, good luck! When (key word!) he is ready, tell him they don't let big kids in the pool, for instance, that still wear diapers. whatever he's looking forward to, tell him he can't do with diapers.

My daughter was wearing pull ups for awhile but then she started wetting them regularly like she would a diaper. (Thus my agreement with Supernanny that pull-ups just confuse the issue.) After a couple of days of that nonsense, I said fine, lets do the padded "big girl" undies and see if she likes that...which she didn't! She was still over 4 before she was fullly trained, #1 and #2.

Every kid goes at their own pace and there is not much you can do to speed up the process. Give him more time.

-S. K

P.S. This whole pushing kids into what they're not ready for yet is really making me ill. Like, kindergarten is what 1st grade used to be, preschool is pretty much a necessity...my mother in law was a preschool teacher for twenty years and she said education has gotten really age inappropriate. The potty trng expectation is in the same category. And then we wonder why they get into things they shouldn't be doing yet when they're teens. Okay, rant over.

Hi M.,

Here are some resource web sites:

http://www.parentingtoddlers.com/pottytraining.html

http://www.thediaperfreebaby.com/

http://potty-training.suite101.com/article.cfm/eliminatio

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

This is not a "rant" towards you - just towards whoever pushes you to push your kid (day care or whatever) A kid will potty train when a kid is ready. Sure, you can encourage him - we all do that. But it drives me crazy when I hear about mothers with 2 year olds and they want advice on potty training and they're all stressed out. Then they spend months on end training the kid! Do you know how long it takes to potty train a kid who is ready? About 24 hours!!! My first daughter was ready at 2 years 4 months. The second one not until she was 3. It is too bad you need to pay more at daycare for a child who isn't potty trained yet. But seriously, save yourself all the aggravation of trying trick after trick. It might just be worth paying a little extra to save your sanity. Trust me, potty training is EASY - when the child is READY.

So here are some suggestions...let it go, we stopped asking our son and didn't make anything out of it. We did get him a little potty seat and a potty book. We left the potty seat in the living room, where he played most and put the potty book in with the other books he likes. After maybe 2 wks of nothing, he wanted to go potty in the potty seat. That weekend we did naked weekend as much as we could and NO pullups...except for at night. After 3-4 days with underwear, you can get the extra think cotton training pants at Target, he didn't like being wet and that was it, potty trained and about 2-3 months later, we don't use diapers at night. My neighbor didn't buy our method and then 2 months before her son's 4th birthday, they went to ignoring it, he was potty trained in about a week. At this age, they're into controlling you and this is a way that they can. We didn't do prizes at all, but we got really excited, clapping and saying "I'm so proud of you" just like in the book. If you want the info on the book just let me know, I can look it up at home. Good Luck!!!!

M. K- he's not ready and he doesn't know how to tell you. I am the mother of 4 boys and believe me, potty training has to click. Warmer weather is here and this may help you. Let him run around with a bare bottom and he may begin to associate his urges to pee and poop and be a bit more helpful with his training. My oldest trained with no drama - one day he decided to use the potty and there was no looking back. He was 3. My second was more difficult - he would pee in the potty but refused to poop. For him, it was a control issue. He finally trained at about 3 3/4. My third is almost potty trained - but doesn't always want to use the potty to poop if he is engrossed in playing, He needs reminders and he is 40 months old. Our baby is 8 months - so we aren't even there yet.
Trust me - your little man will not graduate from high school in a pull-up. He just needs to learn without pressure.
As for regular daycare, I don't know your financial situation but seeing other children who are potty trained might help. Sort of a monkey see, monkey do scenario.
Good luck and remember - This too shall pass.

M. K,

Relax. He may not be ready yet. I have 3 1/2 year old twins. One just decided near Thanksgiving it's he wanted to go potty and has ever since. My other child was not so willing, although he'd been "trying" ever since he turned 2. Don't force him, my husband kept pushing it (a lot) with our second and I truly believe that delayed his finally becoming potty trained...in the last couple weeks. What seems to have made the final push to use the potty was a video/DVD I rented from NetFlix called "Potty Power". Now I hear "Potty Power" from both son's everyday! Good luck!

Boys take longer to develop in the potty training area. Take it easy on him and he will go when he's ready. It's not worth stressing about it because you can't control it right now. There are the moms out there that like to push, but I think if you wait till he's ready (while doing small things to get him prepared) he will be fine. I read in a book that it is good to praise the act of staying dry, not necessarily the act of going potty in the chair. But we praise both and our girl is doing fine. She pushed us to get started. Best of luck to you.

You might need to back off the potty training for a while. I drove my oldest crazy about potty training when I finally took a step back, relaxed and made it less of a big deal it happened. She was completely potty trained at 2 1/2. But my second child wasn't trained until she was just over 3. Your son might not get that he has control over his pee/poop? For my second child we bought her a doll that you gave a bottle of water to and then put the doll on a potty that came with it and the doll went in the potty. I sat her potty chair next to the dolls - that got us started. The video based on the book "once upon a potty" was fun to watch and sing. They have one for girls and boys. (I found it on amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Potty-Him-DVD/dp/B0000CBL...)
Good luck! Relax! And your son probably won't be trained based on your timetable....isn't that how kids are usually?

I don't have a remedy for your issue, but my youngest son was 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. He knew what to do, but would not do it in the potty. He even had enough sense to ask to be changed after he had gone potty in the pampers. One day I looked up and he was using the potty. It just happened. I had tried everything, but it worked in his time, not mine. Don't worry. It will happen when yu least expect it.

I know the frustration you must feel, and others may not agree with me, but many of my friends and I found when we were at the potty training stage, that until our children were ready to go potty it didn't really matter what you did to encourage it. A friend of mine wanted to get her son potty trained before her second child was born, so she put out a potty and started encouraging him to go I think it ended up taking her a year and it only happened when he was truly ready. My son took his time but literally trained in less than a week when he was ready to go, and my daughter I barely pushed having learned my lesson and she just walked up and handed me underwear one day.
There are some good videos out there though, one called Potty time with Bear - from bear in the big blue house is really good, my kids still ask to watch it sometimes.

Good Luck - R. A

Good morning,

My daughter had a few "developmental delays" and the urgency of our society to have her potty trained drove me nuts. Sometimes, I would just stop trying the potty thing for a couple of weeks and then try again. Finally, I just did the underwear mess until it clicked. If the child isn't ready, the child's just not ready............my daughter was not trained fully until 4 years old. On the other hand, once she was trained, that was it. She never even wet her bed.

Another thing I learned, and am still learning, is that our kids pick up on our anxiety and react to it. Are you home with your child or is the day care an urgent matter. A couple of months with a 2 1/2 year old can bring a bunch of positive changes.

All I'm saying is, have patience a little longer because there are some things we just can't force like potty training.

Perhaps, a home day care until he's trained would be less expensive? Or a church or synagogue day care? Nothing's forever. He can go to the hoity toity potty trained day care when he's ready and he won't suffer as much as you (LOL).

R.

I am a pre-school teacher and I have worked in a room with 12 two year olds. Some of them potty trained easily and some moved up to the three year old room without being potty trained - your 2 1/2 year olds's potty behavior is NOT unusual. I also have two children of my own and while the first child potty trained at an early age - the second one was not as easy. He would sit on his potty chair forever and do the same thing your son does. One day - he said "big potty." I put him on the regular toilet and he peed!!! and from then on - he used the regular toilet with very few accidents. So, maybe try your son on the "big potty." There are seats that you can buy to make the Big Potty hole more child sized.

If you try this amd it does not work = all I can recommend is PATIENCE. And talk with your pediatrician to make sure there is no medical reason. I understand about the day care situation. It may be hard to find one that takes children who are not potty trained but keep looking because they are out there. Look for day cares that start taking children at 6 weeks of age because these will have age progression rooms and rooms with potty training going on. This may be good for your son because he will see other children using the potty on a regular basis,

Good Luck!

It sounds like YOU are ready, but HE is not. I know you want a magic bullet, but I suggest you just wait. As a matter of fact, totally drop it for a couple of months. And then start from scratch. If you press it now, you may make it worse by making him more resistent or stressed out and it could just take longer overall.

I have a girl, but the whole "naked weekend" approach worked for us like a charm. We just had her wear her underwear and nothing else for a couple of days. But she was a girl, three years old, physially ready, and emotionally motivated. As well as it worked for us, I found diapers easier. Those first few months after potty training can be really stressful, because you have to stay on top of them - pull down your pants, wipe, flush, wash your hands, use more soap, no that's too much, etc. etc. Going potty can be a 30 minute affair of you reapeating yourself a million times - so prepare yourself.

Good luck.

Well I do believe that I have found the secret to Potty Training
I did this with both children and it worked like a charm

The trick is mostly for you not the child

Encourage and be patient

This way you wont go crazy

The truth is children will be ready when they are ready

My oldest was less than two
My youngest was almost three

It will happen I promise

Hi. My advice to you is to go completely cold turkey, just use underwear, no more pull-ups, not even for car rides. I know it sounds scary, but it's the only way to go. I was hesitant myself, but I just potty trained my 2 1/2 yr old last month and it worked great. We still put her in a diaper (not a pull-up...too much like underwear) for her afternoon nap and at night. I understand that all kids are different, but putting them in a pull-up during the day sends mixed signals to the child. Keep a little "floor potty" nearby at all times, and when he moves to a new room, move the potty with him and point out to him where it is. Keep repeating to him, "here's your big boy potty, when you have to make pee pee, come sit on it, OK?" Don't negatively punish (even with words) when he has an accident in his pants, just praise (sing, dance, throw a party!) when he Does go in the potty. He'll eventually catch on.
We checked out just about Every "potty book" the library had and read to her at naps and at bedtime-I think this was a Major influencer for her. It made her familiar with all the potty words and probably helped her feel like going to the potty is what big kids do!
We roll-played with ALL of her favorite dolls and stuffed animals. We put her "big girl" panties on all of them, and they took turns going on the potty. She saw the positive attention they were all getting, and she wanted in on all the excitement (we even gave them treats!)
I hate to end on a negative note, but b/c every child is on his/her own timeline (for Everything), he may just not be ready, and if he's not- no amount of coaxing, praising or candy will make him do it. Back off for a few weeks and try again.
Good luck!!!

My son was very rare, he was potty trained in one day at just under 2 1/2 years old. My girlfriend is having a hard time with her daughter, she is a touch over 2 1/2. She was doing really well for a couple months and then had her nephew over who is only 4 weeks old. Him, along with their other daughter who is 7 mos, made the 2 1/2 year old crazy for attention and pottied in her pants all day. My friend was beside herself and didn't know what to do so she made her stay in her wet pullup and wouldn't change her. Sounds terrible I know but when you're at your wits end you do things you never thought you'd do! Good luck to you and your precious son!

K. - sahm of 2 boys, 5 and 2

Simplest thing in the world for my second son was to send him in with his older brother and a friend, who STOOD, "like daddy does", to pee in the toilet--no sitting on a potty seat. Younger son was delighted and got the knack within a day or two. Now nights were a different matter--heavy sleeper who wouldn't wake until he was past 5th birthday, and pooping in toilet took a bit longer as well, so we did pull ups for a while. But days were a breeze for peeing. Try it!

I would recommend the book Diaper Free Baby. There is also a website. 1 hour on the potty seems like a long time to sit there....

If I were in your shoes, I would let my child go diaperless and write down when he goes... if you don't have hardwood floors, it might be better if he wears cotton training pants. Just observe and then maybe offer the potty in anticipation of when he will go... personally, I would probably limit to actually sitting on th potty for no more than 5 minutes... but that is just me... I am not sure what the experts say. Also, I think the kids can pick up a sense of urgency... so maybe just try to relax about this and think of it as a fun process.

Hi M. K: On this potty training thing, I TOTALLY understand your frustration!! I thought my son was ready at around two years old and he did show a strong interest. But he just thought it was a game and not a mandatory thing, I guess. At age 3 years and 4 months (!!), he has finally come to the realization that this is what big boys do! No bribery, treats or toys worked for him either. (Some days it worked, but not consistently.) Finally, before I went INSANE, I gave us both a break for about 3 or 4 days. (I had to do this two or three times over a few months) I let him use a diaper during these breaks, and then the day before I went back to underwear, I gave him notice that "tomorrow you will wear BIG BOY underwear. You need to keep them dry and you need to use the potty." I also let him know that all of his "heroes," like Daddy, Grandpa, Jackie from next door, etc....all the way up to Superman, Diego and baseball stars on TV "DO NOT WEAR DIAPERS...THey use the POTTY!"
When he had accidents, he would have to help take off his wet clothes, put them in the dirty clothes basket and help me (at least a little) clean up the mess on the floor. I let him know I wasn't very happy about cleaning up, and how much happier M., daddy and everyone would be if he used the potty. I tried not to be harsh, just firm...and I would ask him if he understood why I wasn't happy. I wanted to be sure he knew that this is not what I planned on doing forever!
Then, we did practice runs from the spot of the accident to help him remember what he was supposed to do...(i.e. run to the potty, pull down his pants and underwear, do a quick pretend wee wee on the potty, pull pants up, wash hands and dry hands) He actually found this to be fun. We also did one or two practice runs to the potty from other areas of the house. (This was time consuming to say the least, but I'd smile and tell him how happy we'd all be if he did this the right way next time))

My son had to reach age 3 or so before he could understand that this is truly a part of daily life, not an option. He finally latched on to the idea of a baseball hero not wearing diapers because he really likes the game! I've used his baseball obsession to my full advantage...with kindness and firmness of course!! When he did it right, we did a little cheer and happy dance and we'd call Daddy at work. I also called him my little Ryan Zimmerman...and he loved it! If Ryan Zimmerman of the Washington Nationals only knew how much he's helped me this year (Ha!)! Now we just do an occasional High Five.

Anyway, his sense of accomplishment and wanting to do this on his own finally took over. I still have to remind him a couple of times a day when I see him holding himself, but he's doing much better at keeping dry & poopy-free during the day. No daytime diapers for about 6 or 8 weeks now! He still wears a diaper at night, but I hope to have him weaned off of that by the end of the summer. Hope you found some helpful ideas in here....and GOOD LUCK!!

A.

!!

Have you tried potty 'boot camp'? I don't think that is a real term, but it so far it worked with my two older sons and I will be attempting it with my 2 year old this summer.

Take a long weekend with nothing else planned. Give your child a lot of water, juice, liquids, ice pops, etc. Then let your child run around a small area with no clothes on. When it looks like he needs to go, rush him to the bathroom. When he is successful praise him like there is no tomorrow. When he has an accident, give him some diaper wipes to clean up the mess and tell him 'better luck next time'.

By the end of a day or two (or three) there will be no more accidents.

Good luck!
E.

Hi M. K,

MAYBE he's not ready yet.... or MAYBE he's scared of the water splashing his cute butt when the poopie came down... or MAYBE he's scared of the toilet sound when we flush it... WHO KNOWS....
I trained my son when he was 2 1/2 y.o by pretty much put him on the potty every 10 mins and just sit there for at least 5 mins but less than 15 mins, and repeat the process again and again. Not fun for anyone, but it worked since he got the idea that he has to go in the potty no matter what. Usually we read 1 or 2 books while he sit on the potty or he hold a toy to make him comfy.
Lots of accidents for few weeks after we started, but he pretty much got it in few months.
What about if you try the compact potty or travel potty from One Step Ahead and see if he will do it there. At least there'll be no water splashing around and you can just easily throw away the plastic afterwards. The website is www.onestepahead.com. Also you can try using "reward system on the wall" to entice him. Give a star sticker everytime he does it in the potty. And after 5 or 10 stars, he will get a new hot wheels car or you will take him to IHOP.... Don't promise an expensive toy though... ;-)
Also let him choose the "cool" underwear that he wants to wear everyday. At least he will feel responsible a bit and try not to make a mess in his cool underwear.
Other than that... he WILL do it when he's ready. Good luck!

- A. purba -

Well my dear i hate to tell you that He's just not ready.Some kids are more advance and ready than others.Dont push to hard then he will rebell even harder. Try sitting him down in the bath room where every one else goes. tell him only for the potty and baths. Its not a toy so he thinks it is.Letting them sit on it for long periods of time isnt good either then it becomes a toy like thingy. Instead of a useful object. make sure when he does go you reward him generiously.Also you make sure you call him a big boy when he wants to go and sit.Let him know he's a big boy and he only sits on it when he needs to go. Goodluck

I call potty training hell week. It was horrible for me too. My son was just past his 3rd birthday, I know he's 2 but maybe he's just not ready? A few key tactics that really helped me though were really strange... first I told my son the toilet was kind of like a pet and he needed to feed it his potty, Its super creepy but my son was totally into it. When he flushed he got this huge smile on his face and would shout "I fed the potty!" Another thing that helped was super special underwear, (we didnt do pullups, just underwear, his school (Goddard) recommended just underwear)Anyway, we got "super special underwear" from walmart, it comes in a plastic container it was his favorite CARS, but I wrapped it all up and let him open it and made a huge deal out of it but told him he could NOT wear them. I didnt want him to ruin his "super special underwear" by peeing or pooping in them. It took one day of staring at the unopened plastic container for him to poop in the toilet. He was so excited to open his special underwear too, and then he never wanted to have an accident in them. I hope you find something that works for you, Potty training was not a fun experrience for me :)

He's probably not ready to be potty trained. I've heard (and experienced!) that boys take longer and are usually not ready until at least 3 years old. About 3 months before my son's 3rd birthday, I started talking to him about using the toilet and said that on his birthday all the diapers would disappear (and he never asked where they'd go). I told him that "the rule" was that 3 year olds were not allowed to wear diapers. He never questioned who was making this rule, which I found really funny!
I bought a fancy potty that made noise when he peed, which was a complete waste of money because he was happy to use the big toilet with one of those cheap, plastic seats that fit on top of the regular seat. Save your money!
Luckily for us, his birthday was in August and we let him run around for a weekend with no diapers or underpants on. After a few times wetting himself and the floor, he started getting to the toilet on time. We used rewards (M&M's) and we had great success! I think the timing is everything...if your son isn't responding to rewards or showing any interest in using the toilet, he's just not ready! I would wait a few months and try again. But keep talking to him about using the toilet and let him sit up there, even if he doesn't do anything but play, and he'll eventually want to do it for himself.

give it time. I kept having my son sit on the potty but nothing ever happened. He is the third, so I knew that he would eventually figure it out. The week before his third birthday, he started wearing underwear and has never looked back. Don't stress, be consistent about him trying and it will come.