Potty Training - I've Had It!

Hi H.,
I wouldn't postpone it again it's time she learns. I am 34 with a 19 year old daughter. When she was little and we started potty training we made it a big game. My daughter responded well to going shopping and picking out her own big girl panties and toilet. When we got home I put a pair on her favorite toy(a stuffed bear). She loved that. When it was potty time I would take the bear with us and I would pull down it's panties and hold the bear on the regular toilet while she was on hers. She would tell me when the bear was done and we would wipe and flush together. Some children want to go on the big toilet because thats what everyone else does they sell little seats that fit on to the toilet yet make it so the child won't fall through. If you do that route take her with and let her pick out her seat, panties and potty friend (if she doesn't have one). Also a calender to put stars on the days she doesn't potty in her pants with a reward at the end of the week might help to. It's been years since I've had to do it so I wish you lots of luck.

If you are stressed about it your daughter will be stressed about it too. My kids were potty trained before they were 2 because they were following me to the bathroom telling me they wanted to pee in the potty. If she is just starting to tell you she may not be ready yet. I used some Dr. Phil advice and it worked. He said that if your child can teach a doll to go to the potty then they will understand better. I got Potty Time Elmo and had my kids teach him to go to the potty. He came with a potty, a sippy cup, and underwear. He would drink from the sippy and then say oh I have to go potty. I think the sippy cup helped them understand that after you drink you have to go pee. One other thing you might keep in mind is that sometimes 3 year olds go through a phase where they want control. I went through it with my daughter. She started having accidents when she turned three because she just didn't want to go potty. It was very frustrating because I knew she knew how. My doctor got a little irritated with me at my daughters 18 month check up because she was wearing panties. I told him that it was her idea and she was doing great. I guess they say not even to worry about it until they are 3. The only reason I did it that early was because they were telling me they wanted to go. I have had several friends that say their kids weren't potty trained until they were 4, and they would tell me I was going to damage them. I told them the same thing I told the doctor. So, don't be frustrated. And find a way to make it her choice. I also took my kids to the bathroom with me since they could crawl, mostly because they would follow me, but I think someone else mentioned that you let her go with you and she will want to be like mommy and go potty in the toilet. Good luck!

3 yrs and 1mo is not that old. In spite of popular myth, the golden age is not 2. According to my family Dr, kids don't even get the sensation they have to go until after 2. Yes, there are many who say that "my child was potty trained by 1yr, blah, blah, blah," but that is NOT the norm. My dr's advice was to let them do it on their own. I followed this advice with all 3 of mine, and it worked. My oldest was 2 and a couple of months, but the 2 younger ones were at least 3 before the duty was done. Following this method, we have never had accidents with any. (Only in cases of flu, diarhea, etc.)Have patience and don't listen to all of those other mom's with their "mine was trained by ..."

Read all the advice below and try what you feel may work for your child. (btw... I didn't read all the responses, so if any advise punishment, that's the perfect start for one messed up adult.) Then realize that they will potty train when they want to. Think about it, it's the only thing they really get to decide for themselves. And just one day, without fanfare, they'll put on their underwear and forget the pullups. I know, I know, you want to know WHEN that day will be :)
The average age for boys (girls are a little sooner) is 3 and a half, but so what! That "I had all my children perfectly potty trained by 18 months" is an old fish story, told by mother-in-laws to drive you nuts".
Your day will come too.

Try a sticker chart. This worked AMAZINGLY with my daughter. It is a chart and you label one row "pee" and the other row you label "poop". Each time the child goes one or the other, they get to pick out the sticker and place it next to the appropriate row (if they do both they get to do 2 stickers). You put the chart directly next to the toilet that the child will be using the most. Not only did I let my daughter pick and place the sticker on the chart, but she also got an M&M or a Hershey kiss each time she went. It really works because they can actually see the progress that they are making by looking at the chart and seeing all the stickers. Another thing you can do to really get her excited about the process is to take her with you to the store to actually pick out the stickers you will be using on the chart...BUT make sure she understands those are only stickers for the potty chart, and she can only get them if she goes to the potty. DO NOT give them to her for a reward for anything other than the potty. Hope that all makes sense. :) Feel free to ask me if you have any questions. My cousin had the same issue with her little girl, and I told her about the potty chart. She said it worked instantly with her little girl. Good luck!

Here is an example:

The Potty Chart

Pee :) :) :)

Poop :)

I was told to try it for two full weeks. Don't give up until then. If it doesn't click by two weeks, then think about giving up. Ask her how you can help her to go on the potty. Put it in her hands, that this is her responsibility. I think that's one of the things that helped my son (who didn't train at all until 3 and half!! and Another 4 months for pooping AHHH) We said it's your job to go on the potty, just like it's your job to follow the rules and be nice to your friends. How can we help you to do better at your job of going on the potty? He would give us things like remind me. So when I reminded him I would say "I'm doing my job to remind you to go on the potty. Now it's your turn to do your job".
It could also be the new baby brother. Regression is common. If your not changing her, but your changing him thats time away from her. She might not be able to put that into words. And it might not be as obvious in any other aspect of her day. Reminding her that using the potty does not mean she loses out on time with Mommy, it means she gains play time with Mommy. If mommy doesn't have to change you then we have more time to do fun things such as (Insert fav. thing).
BEST of LUCK! Hang in there!!

My suggestion would be to take her with you every time you go to the bathroom, and relax. She will eventually start mimicking you.....D.

My first two kids were potty trained long before they turned three. Child #3 on the other hand, saw no need to use the potty. He was more than happy with diapers. We'd talk about it. He'd say he wanted to use the potty, then he'd pee in his training pants. It made me a little nuts. I decided not to push it (much to my husband's chagrin), and just left him in diapers.

One day he started peeing in his potty & the rest was history. He just wasn't ready. Not sure why, but once he decided he was, he was.

Keep offering the potty to her, but don't push it. She may suprise you!

Why are you embarrassed? My son was 3 1/2 before he was completely potty trained. It will happen. I am a firm believer not to do it until the child is ready. You will know. You getting frustrated is just making her not want to do it even more. Just relax. Take heart that she will be potty trained by her next birthday.