Potty Training Help! - Holiday,FL

Updated on November 17, 2008
L.H. asks from Holiday, FL
16 answers

greetings, first and for most thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully someone can respond. I feel like im at the end of the rop with my daughter. She is 20 months old almost 2 and we've been trying to potty train for the past 2 weeks. ive read a lot about it and nothing seems to work. We have a little potty for her which she goes into. When it's time for number "2" she tells me and we go she goes fine...but for number "1" no luck. we even timed it for every 15 min. with timer we'd go to the potty but no luck right when her pull ups go up she goes pee-pee....i need help. tell me what you did to get your child to go number 1. i know every child is different but maybe i can try something new...thank you in advance!

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So What Happened?

the responses made me laugh a little. All of your stories just hit home for me. I have a mother in law who trained her kids at 9 months that's right she said nine months and a mother who trained us at 12 months! go figure what i get to hear all the time..."she's getting too old what are you doing" but i guess no more pressure at least number two is a big step she climbed one stone. i think im just going to back off for a while. thank you so much for all of your responses!

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Take her out of the pull ups and put panties on her right away. You can just buy the cheap plain white ones for starters. Then let her pick out some pretty panties that will be put up on the dresser where she sees them every day and tell her when she stops peeing her panties she can wear them. My neice was having the same problem with her daughter and when I had her give it a try it worked. With pull ups they are not uncomfortable when wet like panties are. Also to have something to look forward to helps.

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M.G.

answers from Tampa on

Hi. My pediatrician told me that most girls are 27 months when they are trained and boys are closer to 3 years old. It sounds like she is making great progress for her age. I think most professionals will tell you that if you push to early it will only make training harder and more frustrating for everyone. Maybe step back and enjoy the progress she has made thus far!

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J.D.

answers from Lakeland on

A little water with a couple drops of food coloring - pee and change the color. Worked for my girls - they loved to turn blue water green. Good luck.

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A.L.

answers from Punta Gorda on

What I did with my daughter who is now ten was I told her everytime I had to go pee. We would be sitting and playing and I would say uh oh I have to go pee. I was single mom and she would follow me everywhere I went including the bathroom. SO When I told her I had to pee she would come with me and sit on her potty while I was on mine. Next thing I knew it was her saying uh oh mommy I have to go pee, so we would both stop what we were doing on go pee together. She was about 18 months old then. I think it was another year or so before I either one of us could go pee all by ourselves.
Good luck and don't give up. She may not be ready but that doesn't mean you should stop trying, I think that sends the wrong message. Kids try to be like mom or dad, I believe that is why my daughter was so quick to pick it up, she saw mommy doing it and she wanted to do it to. I am sure you will find what works best for you and your daughter.

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M.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi L.,
I really have to agree with Tara on this one. My experience with potty training is same as hers. Most kids are just not ready until 2.5. My sister has three kids and they all did it at that age.Moms do forget this stuff when kids get older and they tell you "My kid did it at 16, 18 months" which is usually not the case. Some kids do but it is not that common.
My daughter was close to her third birthday. Grandmother put a lot of pressure on her when she was about 20 months old and she started rejecting potty and developed some kind of weird tick with her eyes when we mention it. So we put everything on hold for several months. Later I got her some princess underwear and she wanted to wear it so she started using potty again without the fuss. It took about 3 months to get to the point when there was no accidents.
My advice is not to get to obsessed with the cause and ask her often to use the potty. Try reading her favorite books while she's on it and just have fun with it.
Don't worry, she'll get there soon :)
Good luck
M.

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T.O.

answers from Sarasota on

L.,
As a mom of two, friend to dozens and dozens of people with small kids, and former parenting class teacher, let me assure you that despite the claims of many moms who just LOVE to compete over children's milestones, the fact is most kids don't potty train until between 2 and 3 years old, many later than that. Both of my boys potty trained at 2.5, but most of the kids I have known (relatives, friends' kids, kids at daycares, parenting classes, etc.) are somewhere in the 2-3.5 range. 20 months would be VERY young to have your child potty trained, unless she was just one of those 'very early ready' kids... which does happen. 2 weeks in general is a very short time for training. And at her age, you are likely fighting a losing battle that will only be frustrating for everyone? Why the hurry? Most daycares don't even expect potty training until the child is 2.5 or 3. If it's pressure from grandparents or other people with grown kids (which is often what I hear from parents now), it's always (lies) "well, so-and-so was potty trained at 16 months old" and other "stretches of truth" from folks who really have no true memory. I am highly doubting you'll find many 'real' moms today who say 20 months is going to be easy or successful unless she's just flat-out ready. If there is a struggle right now, it's for a reason. She's not ready. Let her give you the cues if she's ready early. If not, try again around age 2 and then every month or so until it seems like she's really 'getting it.' If she's not potty trained at 3, talk to her pediatrician. But don't fret now. You'll only stress yourself and your daughter unnecessarily.
Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi L.. I'm another one who's going to tell you that she's just not ready. :( I would stop for now and try again in another few months.

If you wait till she's really ready, it'll be so much easier, I promise. We started pottying at 2.5 with my older one, and it only took a few weeks with very few accidents. My second is showing an interest now at 21 months, but probably because she has an older sister to emulate. I didn't even say a word, but she started running to the potty after she had pooed in her diaper, and then I knew she was ready to start learning.

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M.A.

answers from Tampa on

Let me tell you, it's alot easier to "prompt" boys to do peepee in the potty (pour warm water on genitals will almost always get them to peepee) and easier to get girls to "number 2" in potty.

I have an older girl and older boy. They both pt'd well into 3 yrs old. My now-3-yr old 3rd child is giving me as much trouble. He will readily get on the potty (big toilet as I hate cleaning training potty's) and do all his business. However, he will not tell me he HAS to do something or when he already did something in pull-ups.

With my older two, I was SAHM and was able to put them in regular underwear and go outside so if they had "acciden", it would not be in house and they got the drift that you get icky feeling when you potty in your pants (with diapers and pull-ups, the lining pulls peepee from skin and they dont GET IT when they did accident). With my 3rd child, I'm a home daycare and cannot let him (or the 2 yr old daycare kids) run around in reg. underwear.

I just this week started the chocolate prize for "number 2" in potty. I'll remind him in the mornings and at lunch... for 2 hours after reminding him, he's pulling my hand to follow him to potty, lol, and mad when he can'd "do the deed" on the potty!!

Hang in there, don't pressure her... if you are REALLY into potty training, as I'm NOT, only give fluids at certain times of the day (not an endless, bottomles sippy cup... just at meals & snack time) then you'll see a pattern of needing to potty and it will help you to get her there in time.

Good luck!
M.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

Yep, pushing too hard too young. Sorry! I have a friend who started her girl at that age and she didn't go all underwear all the time until a few months before her 3rd birthday! She still has issues at 3.3 years old. My son went from all diapers to all underwear in 1 week at 3.3 years old. He was ready and I let him make the decision. Why spend years doing it? Wait until she is mature enough to just do it!

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B.A.

answers from Tampa on

When it comes to potty training there isn't much you can do. All you can do is introduce her to the toilet and show her what she is supposed to do with it. She will do the rest when she is ready. Don't push too hard or it will take longer. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she uses the potty sometimes and we give her "pee pee candy" (M&M's, skittles, etc) when she does. Whenever she goes in her pants we reminder her that pee pee/poo poo goes in the potty not in our pants. We've been at this since she was 18 mos old. She has gone as long as a week without an accident, but then out of the blue she reverts back to going in her pants. All you can do is keep at it.

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J.T.

answers from Tampa on

Every child is different and takes things at their own time. You cannot make a child walk, eat, talk or become potty trained, and the sooner that’s realized the easier it becomes! (I’m so much more “whatever” with my 2nd child on these things than with my first). I was potty trained by 17 months and with much pressure from my mother, I pushed my daughter. I wasn't hard on her, but I pretty much had lost hope when she was 2.5 and still not using the potty regularly and in pull-ups. But 3 months before her 3rd birthday, boom – big girl panties and no accidents. Don’t rush it, and certainly don’t punish. When she’s ready, she’ll start.

~J.

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L.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi! I think I would try "big girl" panties instead of the pull-ups. WIth regular panties, she can feel the wet, whereas in pull-ups she can't. Once she feels the wet a few times, she most likely won't like it and then she'll go in the potty.
Good luck!!

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S.R.

answers from Tampa on

I know that everyone wants there little ones out of diapers, and sure our grandparents tell us our parents were potty trained when they were 18 months.....but whats the rush? It honestly sounds to me like she is just NOT ready. Just because she is "almost 2" doesn't mean she has adequate control over her bladder to hold it and or make it come.
My oldest was a breeze to potty train, he started telling me right after he did his business and we started watching for ques-he was potty trained before he was 2.5 yrs old. My youngest just completed the day time potty training and he will be 3 in January. He just wasn't ready until now.
The more you push when they aren't ready the more you set yourself up for failure. Children at this age want to please you, and by not being able to can begin to resent to potty-and make potty training MUCH harder than it needs to be.
She wont go to Kindergarten in diapers-don't worry, and just let it happen...

So my advice is take a break-she isnt ready

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

Hello! I just wanted to say that potty training at two would have been much too early for my daughter. She seemed really interested for a couple of days right after her second birthday, but I don't think she truly got it. She was ready and did a good job about six months after that.

One thing I was surprised about with urinating--she knew when she was going, and she knew it was supposed to go in the potty, but the first day or two, she'd just stay wherever she was and do it in her pants! So finally I figured out that she didn't know to hold it until she got to the potty. Once I explained that, she did great. But I'm not sure she would have understood that earlier.

If your schedule allows, maybe you can give her time off and try again in a while.

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M.A.

answers from Tampa on

L.,

Is she usually dry in the morning and after all of her naps? If not, she doesn't have the muscle control to hold her pee yet. She is still young. I would celebrate what she has already achieved with going #2 on the potty consistantly, and hold off on trying to be 100% potty trained right now.

Both of my boys started going #2 on the potty early, but #1 took longer. My oldest started pooping on the potty at 19 months - only because he wanted to. I tried to get him fully potty trained too soon (about 22 months) since everyone told me that #2 on the potty was usually more difficult. I thought he could do it, but he wasn't ready. Once he started consistantly waking up dry after long naps, we tried again (naked bottom for a couple of days, then using training underware - not pull ups) and he did very well. My youngest pretty much trained himself by following his brother's lead. (One of the blessings of having them very close in age!)

Good Luck and God Bless!

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S.R.

answers from Tampa on

Hi L. - I found it interesting that your daughter only does #2 on the potty. We have had a potty available for my 19 month old for about two months now, and she will only do #1 when she feels like using it. We are in pre-training, I guess. I am not fulltime actively trying to train, but the potty is there, and she does use it occassionally. Sometimes, I ask her to see if she has to go, and I find that if I use the toilet at the same time, she will often then go pee (probably TMI, but that's our trick). Or I make the pee sound or run the faucet for a bit. I've also let her run around without a diaper and put the potty in whatever room we were in. Most of the time, she would go sit on it to go pee. But not always! Some say to have a gift ready for when they do use the potty - you can do this for when she finally goes #1 in the potty. It may encourage her to use it for that if you make a big fuss the first couple of times. Didn't work for me (as far as fulltime use of the potty goes), but as you say, every child is different. Good Luck!

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