Potty Training Help! - Del Mar,CA

Updated on January 06, 2010
F.W. asks from Del Mar, CA
8 answers

Happy New Year Moms!
My daughter turned 2 in October and while I hadn't planned on starting her potty training right away but Thanksgiving weekend she threw a fit about putting on a diaper and wanted to wear "big girl panties." We had already taken a couple mental steps that direction - bought her a potty and some panties so she knew she had them. At the time I thought why fight this? and put her in them. Since then, she had done great and is pretty much accident free now for a few weeks when it comes to pee. Only problem is I can't get her to poop on the potty!! I have tried sticker charts, bribes with cake, ice cream, you name it... almost everything I've read has says "she'll do it when she is ready" more or less. The thought of having to clean poop accidents for the next ? months is awful. She goes to daycare 3 days/ week and I know they're not thrilled with the idea of having to clean those accidents up either. I can't possibly put her back into diapers - she is doing perfectly great with pee and I think that would have us going backward (and I'm sure she wouldn't have it anyway).
Any thoughts? Suggestions?? Advice???
Thanks!
F.

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Featured Answers

M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

The truth is, children do not like to soil or wet themselves any more than adults like to clear up the mess. Children are as eager to train themselves as are their parents. So when they are ready, they will give us an abundance of cues that they want to be diaper free. http://www.justaskbaby.com/blogs/professor-elkind/early-t...

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Agree with SH! No pressure. We are training my son now as well and it has been slow going. One thing I know in talking to my mom and sister is that the poop scares them because they think they are letting something go. Like something substantial is coming out and it scares them a little. Sounds weird I know, but my sister just trained her son and thats what he used to verbalize to her. Do not have her clean up after herself, seems cruel and you don't want to make her ashamed and add more stress to her life. I think the reward system is great! Worked for everyone I know and seems to be working well for us too. Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter did great with "peepee training" at age 2 1/2 but it was a SOLID YEAR before she would poop. She always asked for a diaper, she would poop in the diaper and then ask to be changed. She NEVER pooped at preschool, always preferring to do it at home (she still does not like to poop "in the field") so I guess I got lucky with that. Don't give her a complex about pooping, because that will cause some major withholding issues. See if you can get her to ask for a pull-up or a diaper when she feels the urge. I thought my kid would never poop in the potty, but one day she did and that was that. No further issues. Good luck

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Read this link that was posted on Mamasource not long ago:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/6139272052470775809

Children, WILL have MANY moments of doing great, then not, then doing great again. Remember, they are still learning and it takes time...and it takes time for a child to "master" toileting ability. Your girl is still so young, and Your girl is normal. THIS happens ALL the time. AND you do NOT want to instill on a child, that pooping is "bad" and that they will get punished or embarrassed about it if they don't "succeed" with it. Otherwise, other problems will develop. They are still just a child.

You should not feel "pressured" to have her be a poop expert yet... just because of the Daycare accidents there. Again, she is still so young... to have pooping fully mastered. AND the Daycare should NOT be pressuring her either nor making her clean up her mess, or expecting her to be perfect about it yet. Each child is different. If all kids "mastered" complete toileting at 2 years old... then that would be abnormal too. Toileting... should not be a pressure for the child... it is biological and an emotion based "ability", with each child developing differently.

All the best,
Susan

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T.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi F.! Congrats on the potty training! I have no new advice to offer you, only hang in there. Do remember that your daughter is young still and the pooping on the potty really will come. In my opinion, it is not wise to have her clean her own mess, she will not understand the connection. Just keep checking with her and when she does go...make a really big deal out of it. You might also try having her join you in the bathroom when you go. Gross, I know, but my daughter was completely obsessed/interested in my "pooping". I think it helped her to see that it wasn't a big deal and there wasn't anything to be afraid of. Once she was fully trained (we used M&M's as a reward)....she began asking me if I wanted one everytime I went. Good luck!

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W.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi F.,
Have her clean her own accidents. She's not to young to learn. After 1 or 2 times, there will be no more accidents. She won't like it as much as you. However, the instruction of how to clean has to be done without anger, just matter of fact like how you take care of the mess. Bring her into the bathroom and have her dump the panties in the toilet, wash the poop out, wash the floor if any mess occurs. Be prepared with clean up stuff. Asking a 2 year old for her motivation will be futile. It is possible to lead children into explanations by asking, "are you afraid?" Many will say yes because they are smart enough to figure out that you will not push anything they are afraid of. Most fears are taught, be careful not to suggest this concept too many times, especially around the toilet.
Good luck:)

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S.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Hey Mommy,
Have you talked to her about why she wont go poop on the potty. I know it seems like a weird question but she may just be scared and need to have it explained to her so she is less scared of the idea of pooping on the potty. My son was afraid of pooping in the potty until I asked him why? and was able to address his fears.

S.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

our daughter was fine with peeing in the potty or the toilet, but it took several months before she would/could go poop there. She would ask for a pullup. I never pressured her, and asked that preschool not either. I am not sure why, but she just wasn't ready for all functions until she was ready. Another child in preschool would ONLY go poop in the toilet for months, and had to pee in a diaper or pullup. As everyone else says, be patient, & be really careful so you don't put pressure or angst on your child. She shall be toilet trained, she shall!

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