Potty Training Goes Backwards - What Do I Do?

My daughter did the same thing. We did not push her at all to go back to using the potty and put her back in pull-ups. It was very short lived before she wanted to be a BIG girl again. Continue to ask him if he wants to go potty, but don't force the issue. He will come back around!

I wonder if this "regression" has anything to do with the younger brother? Has something happened that has led to less attention focused on the big brother?

I think he maybe doing this because of the baby. I remember my mom asking me when I was about 6 why I started going again in my pants and my answer was because the baby does. I think it may have been to get the attention although I don't really remeber because I was so young. Just a thought...

Maybe he just wants to be like his little brother, or maybe he wants attention. Either way, I would not push him for awhile. Relax a little, and let him go back to pullups if he prefers. Even though some kids get potty trained at age 2, a lot of boys aren't until they are close to 4 ( like my son). The good thing is yours already knows how to do it, so once he is over the emotional hurdle I believe he will go back to potty naturally. But if you push him, it might take longer.

Good luck.

I don't have any personal experience, but I've heard from girlfriends that their children went through a regression w/potty training for about a week or two because they were going through another developmental growth spurt (e.g. adding a bunch of new words to their vocabulary). Just give it some time, and try not to let him know that you're frustrated. You don't want to put extra pressure on him.

Your 10 month old has it good, and your potty trained toddler knows it. It's ok, he'll get back on track as long as you spend some quality one on one time with him and tell him how excited you are that he's a big brother and that he can do things like help you and potty in the toilet. It happens all the time, good luck, it shouldn't be too long.

Throw him a potty party! It might be harder to do since you're taking care of a 10 month old too, but it's really fun. I wrote an article about it on www.ehow.com, look up "how to throw a potty party" and it'll give you lots of ideas. Your boy will love it, and it might help him regain his interest!

Good luck, and no matter what, don't worry, no matter how many setbacks he has, your boy won't be going to college wearing diapers.

Julie, mom of three in Shadow Hills

Stop buying Pull-ups. Don't we all want to take the easy way sometimes?
If there are diapers or pull-ups around he will always go back. Put the little potty in a more convinent place for him, (in the room you are always in like the family room or play room). I know this is gross but easier for him he doesn't have to miss anything, when you see that he is doing well with this, move it a little further away (closer to the bathroom). He doesn't get a choice he's 2 and your the parent. Find something that big boys do, that he doesn't get to do now and on days that he's a big boy he gets to do this big boy thing. Ideas (play dough, help you make a special treat, legos). My favorite, make sugar cookie dough, make several diffrent colors and let him make things (like play dough) then cook them and eat them. Teach him to write his name in cookie dough. If he sees that he gets to be involved in big boy things hopefully he'll use the potty.

Everyone I know that has put there kids back and forth in undies and pull-ups seems to have this proplem. When you chose to get serious make it stick take his favorite toy away on the days he chooses to pee his undies. He needs to know your the boss and he doesn't get a choice.
Good Luck! JP

Has anything major changed in his life? Anything new (school, friends, schedule)? That's usually when they revert back. Maybe he wasn't quite ready (it can take boys longer). You could put him back in diapers and wait until he's ready again. Just keep telling yourself that most children don't go to kindergarten in diapers. I wondered if my dd would EVER get trained! My sons waited for a while, too. It's more successful if it is child led and child ready. Good luck!

2 1/2 is still on the early side for boys when it comes to potty training. And its not unusual for children to regress with their training...try not to be too shocked. He's such a little guy. I would just back up a few paces to the place where you two were 2 months ago, back to the training process again. He will "get it" faster this time, and you can just move ahead as he is able and as he shows progress. Praise him when he does, and try not to over react when he doesnt. You will both get there!!

They say most kids go through some sort of back-slide with potty training at some point, but I suggest ditching the pull-ups all together. He'll be more bothered by it if he has an accident in underwear. My son didn't really "get" it until he was in underwear full time. It was messy at first, but really worked well for us. Maybe also try a reward...we write on the calendar in his room every night that he stays dry and clean all day. He loves the little ritual, can see the consistency of it all. We also reward with trips to Chuck E Cheese every once in a while...like seven days straight without an accident, stuff like that. Seems to work for us. Good luck! I swear potty training is one the biggest pains!

Hi C.,
Potty training can be a roller coaster!
Some kids just get through it in a few days and others back slide once in a while.
Has the 10 month old reached a milestone recently such as walking or saying words? Sometimes when the attention is focused on the newer sibling, the older child regresses a bit.
You may not be doing anything differently but the little guy is, which affects the older sib.
I recommend getting rid of the pull up. It is a glorified diaper and feels the same as one, no matter what is advertised, when I change a pull up, it's just like a diaper.
I have had great luck and see progress when the pull ups are out of the potty training equation.
If the little guy is in a diaper and is "allowed" (as the 2 1/2 year old would see it) to soil it, he can do the same.
This backslide will pass!
Since it was not too long ago your 2 1/2 year old was "the baby", he still likes the baby attention so he might feel a bit jealous. I am only guessing based on my experience. (I have 7 kids, 3 of my own and 4 step children and 3 grandkids. I also do home day care so I potty train frequently)
Just keep being consistent and praise him for using the toilet. I do a potty dance for the children when they use the potty. I sing a silly song I make up and I dance. The other kids run in and dance too. It is a celebration!
Good luck!

C.

My son did the same thing. It has to be something he wants to do. After potty training at age 2 he did great for a couple weeks, then he decided he wasn't interested anymore. It wasn't until he was almost 3 and had an incentive of preschool where he had to be potty trained before he decided to go back to potty training. He did well then and it was because he wanted to. I don't think it is worth the argument with him because it will be a constant source of frustration for you both. Maybe find a long term incentive like preschool, a big boy privilege or big boy bike rather than a short term one like a toy or candy.

Two years is very early to potty train a boy. I have four sons, and I always waited until they were ready - between 3 and 3 1/2 for boys - and at that point no training is involved and it happens very naturally. I've had friends who attempted to potty train early, and then had to deal with the regression thing. Regression happens when you potty train early. it is natural and normal and nothing to worry about. Simply put the whole potty issue aside for 6, 12, 18 months and when your son is ready, it will be a breeze for everyone involved.

I'm having the same problem! Nice to know I'm not alone.

Hi there, hope my respond helps. This is typically regression and it stems from the baby. YOu might have started potty traning when the new baby came aboard? Anyhow, it is better to wait instead of pushing him until he is at least 3 or his regressions will continue. I went through it with my son and i started him at 2, he did great but when the baby was about 4 months (they are almost 3 years apart) he regressed completely! It went on til he was about 6! I am pretty confident it was my pushing not wanting to change 2 diapers that did it. You might also envourage he help with the baby...changing diapers and such and keep encouraging wihtout too much anxiety into the training Hope this helps! P.

One step forward two steps back, this is just the way it goes sometimes. Take a deep breath and understand this is nothing out of the ordinary.

When mine did this I resorted to the lowest of the low, bribery. Never before did I think I would resort to bribing my child with M&M's but I tell you they saved my sanity.

Has anything happened in your life recently? This may be a call for help. Your child may be craving more attention and, by necessity, you have to give more to your 10 month old now, too. Don't blame him for his behavior or even make an issue out of it, just try to engage him in "helping" you with the younger one since he is "your big boy". Also, for a boy, 2 1/2 is pretty early to be potty trained so maybe he's just not ready for the discipline yet. Ten years from now you'll look back and realize this was just a blip on the screen.

Don't worry.
Every child takes a step backwards; just as we adults do in our every day life.
He'll get back on track soon if you don't react negatively to his stumble.
good luck

C.,
I am so sorry to hear about your frustration. I think we have all been there.
In my experience I have found that boys need to potty train at a later age than girls. I have done a lot of research on this with moms who had boys and found that most did not potty train until after 3 years old. When I started asking around, other moms had told me later is better with boys - only because if you start early, they will revert back and also have bed wetting problems at 7-9 years old.
I have four boys myself and didn't start potty training until after 3 years old. We haven't had any reverting and no bed wetting. Boys seem to just "click" and get it. I even have a girlfriend who's son didn't start until almost four.
Now I know you are probably discouraged by now - but the best thing I can tell you is what someone had told me: would you rather change a diaper than have to ask all the time 'do you have to go potty', then run to the restroom over and over with a baby in tote. It's really not you potty training them, but rather them potty training you. Then you have to clean accidents in the bed, and clean the bedsheets then worry about them making it thru the night....
I never had the frustration because when they potty train later -they can use the restroom before leaving the house and maybe once when we are out (if we have been out all morning.)
They go potty before bed and can wake up and use the bathroom on their own if they need to at night.
I hope it helps. Probably not the advise you were looking for, but it really helped me.

i have a 2 1/2 girl and feel kinda the same way. she's been doing good for months now she just goes pee in the toilet. i don't want to put her in diapers and start all over again. it's not bad that your son potty trained so early my son was trained by 2 with no problem. so don't feel that it's your fault. anyways i would just try and find what he really wants, reward wise. so many times in the toilet and gets a potty toy or a special reward for being the big boy just so that he knows he gets things for not being a baby. i know how it is. so good luck it might take some time but i don't think you need to start all over.

I can understand your frustration in this situation. Most times children do this because of the attention the baby is getting when the baby poops in his diaper. It can truly be jealousy and no more. Perhaps you can turn the events around
by having the older son help in a way that he will want to feel grown-up by going to the bathroom on his own as compared to the "baby". Different strokes for different folks....he probably needs to feel he's a BIG boy and not just a baby anymore. Well, I hope that I've helped in some way. God bless...........Fran W.

We had to give our son something to look forawrd to. He wanted to play at these cool parks...which were really school playgrounds, so we told him that kids in diapers can't play there. Once he's potty trained, then he can go to school. We took him out of diapers, as we'd been telling him, on his 3rd birthday and within the week he was perfectly potty trained. 3 weeks later he said, "When do I get to go to school and do I get to ride the bus?" We HAD to keep our word, so we put him at 3.5 in a private school nearby that had pre-kindergarten 3 days a week for 3 hours.

We found that most kids (even adults) respond to rewards. Like now at 5.5 years old, he can't play outside until his homework is done nicely and right. He does it perfec the first time and we have no issues with homework time, since it's up to him when it gets done and how much time is left to play.

Find out what makes your kid tick.

You can also make sure he helps with changing your 10 month's old diapers. he won't like the smell, etc and you can reinforce how much it's not fun to change diapers, etc.

Be patient and kind!
In my experience with friends and family, there is often a backwards slide in the greater pottytraining progression.
My youngest sister had been out of diapers for some months when we moved overseas and 'reverted' for 6 more months. Long months, those were, but my parents felt that this was her way of showing her stress and trauma. And indeed, one day, she stopped as suddenly as she had restarted.
My daughter (and they do say it's easier for girls than boys) was great for a short time (and at 2 1/2), and then back in full pullups for #s 1 & 2 for another while. And then, was wearing undies, & would pee on the toilet, but ask for a daiper or pullup to do a bowel movement - this for at least another couple of months.

there is a lot going on for any child at that age. Your son also has a wee sibling to contend with (this could be a jealousy or need-for-more-attention thing). . . so patience, patience, patience! He'll figure it out. You might even ask him if he'd rather just go back to diapers for a little while ("till you feel comfortable being a big boy in big boy underwear").
The important thing is NOT to make it such a big deal that there is trauma associated with going potty. best of luck!

He may be scared of the toilet for some reason. You might want to try a different potty for him.