Potty Training Frustration for Mommy

You need to wait until she is ready. The more you make this an issue, the more she will resist (actively or passively).

Personally, I think going "cold turkey" is the way to go. Just get rid of the diapers, use underwear during the day (diapers at night) and NO pull ups. Don't go back to the diapers, no matter how frustrating it is at first.
That being said, it sounds like your daughter was not ready. Even a couple months make a big difference at that age. I potty trained my oldest a month or two before she turned 3 and it was a piece of cake. My younger one was a couple months after she turned 2 but that was really her initiating things. Each child is so different. However and whenever you do it...good luck!! :)

Hi D.!

Potty training can be frustrating. But as I read your post it seemed to me that you are ready but your daughter is not. If she is showing 0 interest, then she is not ready. If you are already frustrated before the process has really even begun then that is not a good sign. With my first son, he was letting me know that he was ready to try, but his body wasn't. I began to get frustrated so I stopped. One day, a few months later, he told me he was ready. And he was right. By waiting for his body to be ready, I rarely had any potty accidents with him. He was trained by his third birthday. My other son is a few months over 2. He wants to try the potty all the time - because he sees his brother go. I allow him to whenever he wants, but I don't force it or try to coerce him. His body is not ready yet. But at this point I encourage and support his trying whether he actually goes or not. Hang in there! Your daughter's body will let her and you know when she's ready. Watch for dry diapers during the day for a few hours stretch of time. That is an idicator that she's starting to hold it. As for night time training, once my first son had five nights dry in his diaper we switched to underwear. That was what my pediatrician recommended. Maybe if you back away for a little while (leave the potty out), she'll start showing interest on her own. Hang in there, though!! She will get there!!! She is still quite young. Good luck!

No pull-ups!! She might not be ready yet. I have heard it said no child ever goes to college without being potty trained - haha. Anyway, regular training pants feel wet, and most children don't want to feel wet. At 2 1/2 if she is ready she needs to pull down her own pants, and learn all the ropes. I used pull-ups with only 1 child and he is the only 1 of 3 kids to have any issues with potty training. Don't push the issue too much, don't scare her, let it happen on it's own. It will happen. Sometimes having a friend who is wearing nice underwear helps. My daughter asked to go potty because she wanted Little Mermaid underwear. I bought the underwear and used it as a reward. She trained in 2 weeks with very few accidents ever.

Good luck.

Sounds like she's just not ready. My older daughter was trained (even at night) right after she turned 2. My younger daughter was almost 3. If she isn't showing an interest, she probably doesn't get it. The only thing your persistence is doing is making you crazy. I would relax about it. By Kindergarten everybody's trained. Enjoy your days with her while she's little and don't sweat this. It will happen in time.

D. - I also have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter (2/8/07) who I am working to potty train. She IS working on it MUCH sooner than her older brothers did, but we are kinda in the same boat as you. Mandie wears a pull-up except at night (diaper is more absorbant), and honestly is starting to tell us when she needs to go more often. Over the summer she wore undies half the time w/good success - but I drive school bus and she rides w/me - so it's back to pull-ups til HOPEFULLY either Christmas break or next summer when we can go in just undies again. Try that since you're a SAHM if you have the time. It sometimes seems to work. If not, put her in pull-ups and wait 3 months to try again. I had luck w/that w/my sons. They will NOT train til they're ready! Hang in there - she WILL get it! (Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat about 2 1/2 yr olds!) - J.

I would not push to hard or she have you wait until she is 3. Bascially we had our daughter sit on the potty first thing in the morning and if she went we congradulated her and made a big deal about it. Even bought her some fancy new undies that she got to pick out. They were dora I believe. If she didnt go then we went ok no worries next time. First time in the morning is usually really good because after all night there is usually something and the praise just makes there day. If you turn it into a chore for you and her she will start to shy away. Also we bought this book about potty training with girls that we read to her so she got the idea

She will do it when she is ready. There is nothing wrong with establishing a routine for her and getting her used to the idea. But if she is just totally uninterested, then she obviously isn't ready to make the change yet. I know it is more annoying for you than anyone, lol, but you just have to go with the flow. She won't be walking down the aisle in diapers, as my mother used to say!

IMHO, I would stop having her use the potty completely. I agree that pushing her to do it could cause rebellion about it. Keep the potty in the bathroom, but don't talk about it much. Continue reading her potty books, watching a potty video once in a while...and wait for her to ask about using the potty. Once she seems interested, I would pick a weekend and have her "go commando." Let her run around the house naked on the bottom. She may have a little accident, but girls (in general) hate wetting themselves! Do not let her use Pull-Ups (except at night, since she probably won't be ready for night training).

I'm not familiar with potty boot camp. If your daughter has a cooperative or generally compliant nature (she's not extremely strong-willed), I believe you can do this at home, when she shows signs of being interested, without spending the money.

Hi D.

It sounds like you have your hands full, but if you think you can manage I would definately do a three day boot camp. The method I used for my almost 3 year old had us quit all diapers completely (even at night). I bought cheap puzzles (dollar spot at Target) and gave one to her at the end of each day. The first day put her in her last diaper and tell her that that is the last diaper and you don't have any more. When you feel organized (you've had coffee, breakfast, taken care of the little ones) take it off and put her in underwear and a shirt. That's it. You will want to put all errands and housework on hold for those 3 days. Tell her constantly "Tell Mommy when you have to pee." She feels in control this way, rather than asking her all the time. I had two sippy cups of juice ready at all times, you really want to ply her with liquids those first three days so she really understands the feeling and you can pick up the cues of when she has to go (does she start jumping around or cross her legs when she has to go). And whenever she tells you she has to go drop everything and take her. I have a 6 month old (then 4 1/2 month old) and if I was feeding him or holding him I just put him down took her and then came back to whatever I was doing. She also had very special treats that she got for going in her potty. She got animal crackers for going pee and half of a chocolate cookie for poop. And I'm not going to lie, it was three days of hell. Especially the first four hours-lots of laundry (she peed on everything) and crying. But she was potty trained in three days. At night she goes before bed, my husband takes her before we go to bed (about 10:30) and then again before he leaves for work (about 6:00 am). We also don't give her anything to drink after 6:00 PM except about a quarter cup of milk and sips of water if she is thirsty. More info and a detailed account of how to do this method is at wwww.3daypottytraining.com. It is 25 bucks for the PDF but I absolutely swear by this method. We are saving $80 a month now and that kept me from quitting. Good luck!!

D., I am completely going through what you seem to be experiencing with your daughter. i do not have a lot of advice, but I have been told their is a "window" to successflu potty training and it's to start EARLY. I called my sis in AZ and told her to start with my niece at 17 months. SHe has. At 2 1/2, my daughter is completely disinterested. We have bought books, dvds, 3 different potties, Dora undies, pull-ups that do the cool-feel thing, you name it! My best advice is to take 2 or 3 days in a row and only focus on the potty. I set the microwave timer every 20 min and then we try the potty. If she is on-board, then we head to the bathroom. If she is whiny about it, then we re-set the timer and try again in another 20. I have been told at this age, that they just have a stubborn streak, and they just may not go until 3 or so. Good luck!
R.

Hi D. I see you have your hands full. Just be patient with your 2 1/2 year old. She'll catch on. Just keep doing what you're doing. My grandson is 3 1/2 and he just really started for the last six month going without being told. Try giving her a sticker, praises or small cup of M&Ms as a reward for going and maybe she'll show some interest.

I hear you. I have a 19 month old that has been going consistently on the potty for about 7 weeks. She rarely tells me she has to go, though, so I end up having to keep her on a tight schedule or she has accidents. She has only been using about one diaper during the day (for her BM), so we are doing OK on many fronts and she is interested, i.e. is trying very hard to take off her training pants, loves emptying her potty into mine, etc.

However, I am soooo frustrated. I keep wondering when it is going to truly click! Yesterday, for instance, I knew she needed to go, and when I asked her, she told me "no." 2 minutes later, "mommy, pee."

I am fine with being the trained one. I'm not doing as much wash (I cloth diaper), and I just know that by keeping at it, she will get it. If my daughter was as old as your daughter, I'd do a boot camp.

Can you figure out some way to make your daughter interested? We have a toy potty that's in the bathroom, so when my daughter goes potty, so does at least one of her "friends," i.e. stuffed animals. Also, you say you lift her onto the potty, does that mean she is using a regular toilet? Maybe you could buy her her own potty and see if that doesn't help some. I know my daughter is scared of the big potty, and she will only go on her potty or on a portable I bought for when we are out. How about letting her pick out undies and letting her wear them for a little bit every morning? Wearing undies is highly motivating to my daughter.