Potty Training an Autistic 3 Year Old

I know exactly what you are going through. We have a 9 year old boy with Aspergers. When he was young and going through that stage we were just told over and over that he was a little behind and he would "catch up." We were told to just keep trying and he would get the hang of it. Well, for us he actually learned by watching his younger brother who was 20 months younger than him. So he didn't learn to potty train until he was about 4 1/2 years old. I wish I would have known then what I know now about him. I could have tried so many different things!

I found a book for you that should be pretty helpful. It's at amazon.com. It's called Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders. It's by Maria Wheeler and it is $13.57. It has 4 1/2 out of 5 stars. I hope this helps you! J.

Hi D.! My autistic daughter is now 10 years, and I recall your situation when she was that small. Unfortunately, I ahve no great words of wisdom for you. She had been going to pre-school with our local special school district right after she turned 4 years. Up till then, we tried everything! Start charts, books at the potty, video's of kids going potty, songs, etc. Nothing. To this day a reward system just isn't a big deal to her.

So, after going to special ed pre-school for several months her teacher says to me, "V., Megan uses the potty here everyday. Can you start sending her in panties? She doesn't need pull-ups here." I had an "OH realllllly!" moment, and approached this with my daughter. Let her know the gig was up, and that i knew she was using the potty at school. it was literally a week later that she AND her sister (who is only 11 months younger) were out of diapers. So, my advice to you, if you have this opportunity to take advantage of special school district programs (I can not recommend this enough!) and you have a pre-school available in your area, LET THE PROFESSIONALS HANDLE IT! But on another note, 3 and still in pull ups is not unheard of, and you may just have to be patient. Good luck! While difficult and confusing, it can be a fun, amazing, and enlightening ride if you let it!

D.,

Nice to hear from you! My advice to you is find something he really likes. My daughter loved stickers so each time she sat on the potty, successful or not, I would say good try or make a big deal out of her using the potty. Then I would give her a sticker just for trying and two stickers for a successful time. I would only use the stickers for potty training. She always wanted stickers so she started figuring out that when she went potty in the chair she got two not just one. Try to find out what times he is using the bathroom and sit him on the potty chair around those times. Make a huge deal of him going. Don't give up keep trying. It took my daughter a couple of months to get the hang of it. Good luck and hope to hear from you soon!!

J.

Mother of an autistic 5 year old daughter

Hi D.,
I am a grandmother concerned with my grandson's health.
I do a lot of research and came across a report by a doctor helping children with autism. I feel you would benefit from reading her information.

Dr. Procuk MD http://www.liquidzeolite.org/docs/Dr_Prociuk_Autism_Apr_6...
article you will discover some great insites.

You can learn how to benefit by going to
www.mywaiora.com/461538
DeeDee

Hi D.,

I am actually in training to become a child psychologist, so potty-training is something that comes up a lot in my life. It is always important to consider the child's developmental level when deciding when to potty-train - autistic or not. I would give him a little more time and revisit the issue a bit later. Sorry about the diapers, though!!

The lack of ability to understand consequences and cause and effect is the nature of his Autism. I think you need to determine why you are motivated to have him potty trained and if he shares this motivation. He is in control and he has to understand and recognize this.
If his chronological age was 18 months, as is his mental age as you described, you probably would not expect the beginning of potty training. Meet him where he is at and it will come when it does.
Relax and work on the bigger issues like having him telling you he loves you. Chances are you will get success in this area prior to the Potty training. Keep the potty chair out and keep talking about it.

Remember each kid is different with development regardless of autism diagnosis.

Good luck
D.

Daniella,

I too have a son who has PDD. He was 4 when he was trained during the day. We started when he was 3 and never "pushed" him too hard. I would send him to the bathroom with daddy and I would take him with me too and talk about mommy being a big girl and he could be a big boy too. We used M&M's as a reward, mommy would get one when she used the potty. You only get the treet when you used the potty. We only used positive reinforcement while training. He will get it! My "goal" was to hve him trained by the time he went to kindergarden, he was ready a year earlier. You mentioned that your son asks to go to time out, so does my son. He understands praise. He likes it when you clap and speak very animated "oh...what a good job, your such a big boy." If someone else was home I would bring my son to them and say "guess what ....we used the potty and got a treat" and my husband would go on about how wonderful it was. We really overdid the praise but, with kiddos who have spectrum disorders they miss the subtle things. Good Luck. Hang in there!

D.,
I am a teacher of students with autism. I would suggest using some visuals, social stories, and rewards with your son. I am not an expert since I have only had to potty train one student but have discussed this topic with many parents. Many of them waited until closer to school age to potty train too. It just seems as they get a little older they understand it much better. When I did potty train a student we made a potty schedule for her and pretty much trained her bladder when it was time to go. Every time she followed her potty schedule (step by step pictures) she earned some soda since caffine is a diuretic. She also got to put a sticker on a chart. When we started the process she was much like your son and had no sense of being wet or dirty. She quickly picked it up and did very well as long as we followed her schedule.
Here is a website with some pictures that may help you out: http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/SubCategory.aspx?id=32
Good Luck!

I worked with kiddos with autism for several years before I stayed home and had a few boys have success with device called a wet-stop. It's designed for bedwetters. It has a sensor that you stick in the flap of the underwear and makes a beeping noise when it gets wet. It usually stops the child from having an all out accident and you can get them to the potty to finish. You can purchase this online if you are interested-good luck!

Hi D.,

I know what your going thru. I have a 6 year old Autistic son and we went thru that. We didn't get him trained till he was 4 and it will take longer with s speical needs child. We finally broke down and put him in big boy underwear and it took 2 days for him get it down. He needed a push I think. He would never tell me he was wet or poopy either. There are plenty of books om the subject and internet sites that I would look at, and also offer prizes and stickers or a piece of candy if he does a good job!

Good luck with it!

Hey gal, hang in there. I have a now 17 year old not autistic, actually a "bright and gifted" daughter who didn't potty train till about 4. She was dry at night...but constantly had daytime accidents. I do understand the challenges of special needs, as I para'd for a couple years with severe autistic, and my inlaws have a freind with an adult son (older then I) who is verbal but severely autistic....but 3 is not that unusual in the "so called regular" world. Honestly with her we worried that something was wrong....she didn't talk till 18 months..then started to talk in sentences. Didn't walk till right before that. Believe me I am glad that I do not have to help my child with the challenges you have, but I think he will be fine, especially in these days...and I love your "about me" with the part of your beautiful boy.

Hello. I have a 13 year old daughter who is autistic and was non-verbal until very recently. My daughter was never able to communicate that she needed to use the potty either. Even her school couldn't potty train her. Fortunately, I have a daughter who is 4 years younger and is not autistic. So, my 9 year old would take her to the bathroom with her and speak to her in excited tones saying. "C'mon, Raven! It's time to potty again!" She made the experience seem fun and exciting; my daughter began to look forward to going to the bathroom. Also, I noticed that when we'd take her to my sister's house; she suddenly became Miss Independent! She'd make her own bowl of cereal (which was completely unheard of)! So maybe a change in surroundings could also help. Hopefully, this was helpful to you. Blessings to you and your family. Take Care.

Hi D., it sounds as though your little boy is not quite ready yet. I know you're anxious to save the money and get past the diaper stage. I would not worry about all of the expected milestone dates. I think you'll just get frustrated if you try to potty train him now, and he'll likely pick up on that frustration and it might make matters worse. My special needs boy is 10 and is still in diapers and there are many other school aged children in the same boat. We just decided early on that we weren't going to push him out of diapers. Good luck to you though.