Potty Training an Almost 3 Year Old

I wouldn't worry, she'll start when she's ready. I have a 3 1/2 yr old, she stared 3 months after her 3rd b-day. It came out of nowhere, she just got up and started to use the potty.

Something my friend told me is that you can't "ask" a toddler to go potty (they will almost always say no) you "tell" them. Say; "Ok, it's time to go potty now, let's go!" and say like it's an exciting thing. My pediatrician also recommended going at the same times everyday (i.e. after meals, and when they first wake up in the morning or from a nap). Then she will know when to expect it. Good luck :)

Hi L.,

I wouldn't stress over this.......I have an 8 year old daughter who wasn't potty trained completely until about 3 and a half.....its funny how I don't even think about it anymore. Just know, when she is ready, she will be potty trained.

My daughter started pre school at 3 and could not wear pull ups there, so I would send her in underwear and for the first fews months she had an accident everyday......looking back, not that big a deal!

Best wishes

You've heard it before and I'll say it again... When she's ready it will be easy as pie. My daughter decided she was done with diapers 1 week before her 3rd birthday and that was it. We were not pressuring her but we talked about using the potty and she would use it before bath time or sometimes when I was in the restroom. We only changed her diaper in the bathroom and I always asked her to sit on the potty between diaper changes.

I think the thing that made the difference was a DVD we got called Potty Power. She loved it! They sing songs and talk about being a big kid and tell a story of a princess who learns to use the potty. My daughter would ask to watch it all the time. She is 4 now and still asks to watch it from time to time.

If you want her out of diapers, you need to have her in panties all the time. Take her potty every 15 min., every 1/2 hour, and so on until she catches on. Don't go back and forth with diapers or she will get confused. Expect accidents, because they will happen, but don't punish her when they do. Be patient, and she will be potty trained before you know it.

You should be stressing it LESS, not more. She is still very young. I am the mom of four, and if you wait until a child is ready, it is the easiest thing in the world. If she isn't interested, she isn't ready. Do not buckle to peer pressure on this matter. Do not listen to those who say your daughter should be potty trained by now. Do not pay any attention to stories you will hear from mothers who say their child was potty trained from whatever absurdly ridiculous young age. Give it all a rest for 3- 6 months and see if she is ready then. If not, wait 3-6 more months. This is not a big deal. Your daughter is absolutely where she should be in life. :0)

Get the book "Potty Training in Less Than a Day" and read it. Then follow the instructions. I am actually a Mom of four and Grandma of two. When I was a young mom, potty training was the scariest thing for me as my first daughter approached the age a 2. My friend told me about this book and said it worked for her. I read it, then did it exactly as it suggested and it worked! By the time nap time came around, she was trained. She never had an accident even during that first day at her nap and even at night - no accidents. I used the protocol on each of my kids and it worked every time. My oldest granddaughter is 2 and my daughter did it with her, and she was trained at 22 months. I recommend this to everyone. This book is pretty old, and I'm not sure if it's in print, but you should be able to find it at your local library. I wouldn't potty train a child without this book!

THe best thing we did was sing a song-"L. went potty L. went potty L. went potty in her chair"-he loved it ( I have a son)! He went nuts over the song-we also bought a huge set of toys at the time that were Magnetix (whatever your daughter likes) and he could get one when he went and the more pieces he needed-you get it-or you could tell her she can have an ice cream party and get Aunts and Uncles to inquire about the party and how they want to come
Best wishes this will be a success eventually-most of us do wear panties! LOL!

My daughter was just about a month shy of her third birthday when she was fully potty trained. This is what I did...whenever we were home, if I knew I'd be there for at least 2 hours, there was no diaper. BUT she did have panties on, so if she wet, yes there was a mess, but an uncomfortable mess. The other part of that was I bought the cheapest plain Walmart underwear to do this and told her as soon as we didn't wet all day she got to pick her favorite panties at the store. So the incentive of getting to choose the Ariel panties on her own was exciting. I also started with the potty seat in the middle of the living room floor so it was an obvious reminder. We also did the stickers and she could decorate the potty seat. It just takes time, but it'll happen if you're consistant in whatever you do. Good luck!

You are doing a great job. Kids will potty train very quickly when they are ready. It will be excruciating if they are not ready. Just keep reading the books, explaining the process, pointing out when other kids are using the potty, and when you are using the potty. If you have no deadline (such as she has to be potty trained to attend preschool, like, next month) then just relax. Tell her that she can wear the cinderella panties when she is ready to use the potty all of the time and let her choose.

So here's an idea I haven't seen yet. I have two boys, both of whom were toilet trained at about 3 1/2. We tried stickers, treats, potty seats, cool underware, and everything else under the sun. My kids were the last of their playgroups to be trained, but I didn't buckle under pressure. I don't do stress well, so I insisted we wait until the boys were ready. My hubby and I went away for two days and my fantastic sister-in-law watched our oldest son. She simply asked him where his underware were. She told him she didn't remember how to change diapers. (Her boys are a few years older than ours) He went and got them, put them on and that was it. He had three accidents that day, she had him stop what he was doing (big sacrifice for him), change his clothes, put his wet ones in the washer, wash his hands, etc. Then he could go back to playing. 24 hours later we were done.

Our youngest son did much the same thing, only I went out of town for a couple of days and the boys stayed home with dad. Dad did the same exact thing his sister had done three years before and bingo, 24 hours later we were done. No accidents, no regressing, just done.

If I could ship you my sister-in-law I would (lol). My point is, maybe because we as moms are so close to everything our kids do, stepping completely out of the situation for a short period of time is the magic key. At least it was for us. I didn't intend to pawn my job off on someone else, it just turned out that way. We didn't even ask my sweet sister-in-law to do anything of the sort, she's just brilliant!

Whatever ends up working, my hat's off to you for not stressing about it and letting your daughter toilet train at her own speed. She won't go to kindergarten in diapers, I promise!

Hi L.,
I wouldn't stress too much. It will happen eventually! Some kids need to be trained for preschool so that will determine how long you should wait as well.

My son didn't potty train until just before he turned 3 and we sort of forced the issue at that point. You daughter may need more time or you may need to help her along - you just need to know your daughter's personality - will she go along with "forcing" her or will she make it a power struggle? We knew our son was ready and we knew when it was right to force the issue.

When he was 35 months old, we took him on vacation to the mountains and we told him "no more diapers" and put him in underwear. He had some accidents while we were out hiking but he went on the potty that weekend (pee first than poop). Afterwards he said "that wasn't scary" and he was trained ever since. He used pull ups at night for awhile until got the hang of staying dry at night and getting up at night to use the bathroom. Our preschool allowed diapers but we wanted him to be diaper free when he started.

Are you using a potty or a seat on the big toilet? If you ware only using a potty, your daughter may like going out to pick out her own seat and step stool for the big toilet - that might be incentive for her to use it "like mommy".

I hope this helps. GOod luck.

When she's ready, it won't take long at all. My kids were all over three when they trained. When she's ready, get rid of the diapers and put her in pull up for nighttime and naptime only until she stays dry and then get rid of those as well. During the day, have her in panties that she picks out (less likely to mess up her favorite character; worth the added expense) and put plastic pants over them when you have to go out. Have her sit on the potty before you go out or before nap or bed. She'll get frustrated if she's having to sit there every half hour. Good luck!

Stickers may not be her currency. I potty trained my first daughter when she was 2yrs8mo, and my second daughter recently at 2yrs3mo. Here are the approaches we used. With my 1st DD, We tried M&Ms and stickers, and she would only go if she wanted some. That approach totally backfired. So, I went and bought a few new outfits with Disney Princesses on them. (Usually my kids get hand-me downs, and she was totally enamored of the princesses). Anyway, I just showed them to her and told her that these clothes could only be worn with underwear. If she chose not to go to the potty, she had to wear other clothes. (Unless it was a true accident, and then I would give her a chance with a different outfit). I washed those outfits almost every day, but she wanted to wear them SO badly, that she was willing to go on the potty to keep them from getting wet. Poo poo in the potty took a little longer, but within a month, she came around.

My second daughter wasn't interested in princesses, so I tried a different approach. She was home for a week from pre-school this summer, so we decided that the time was right. She was clearly capable, but similarly, wasn't interested. So, one day I made a potty poster, which was a huge piece of hot pink posterboard with a neon rainbow ribbon around it. I put an envelope above it with some very special stickers in it that she could see but not reach (Backyardigan's stickers, glittery hearts and flowers, etc). Every time she went pee pee, she could put a sticker on the poster. For #2, I put a box up high with special 'poo poo prizes' in it, that I would let her look at whenever she wanted, but couldn't play with. (The prizes were Backyardigans beanie babies and books, since she loves that TV show). There were about 12 prizes in the box, and since she had earned them all, she hasn't needed rewards! Oh, the other thing that really helped was a fun little timer that we have. Part of the problem we had been having was that any time I asked her if she wanted to go potty, the answer was a prompt NO. I started setting the 'potty timer', and when it would go off, we would all run yelling and screaming for the potty. (My oldest daughter helped lots with this). Somehow, hearing the timer had her feel like it was her idea to go, and it removed the control issue. We also had poo poo challenges with her, but just like our first DD, that resolved itself after a few weeks. Now, 2 months later, she is still doing awesome, and actually doesn't need a diaper during nap or nighttime anymore.

My advice to you is to commit, either way. If you want to wait a little longer, just drop it until you guys are ready. If you're ready, look at your calendar and pick a week when you can really focus on it, and get rid of the diapers and pull-ups (except if you need them for sleep). IMHO, using both are just mixed signals during the delicate time of potty training.

Good luck, and let me know if I can offer you any more help.

my pediatrician told me that if you force a child to get toilet trained don't do that because they will regress if they started to toilet train already. What i did with my sone was i bought the thick trining pants they have thes for both girls and boys at Kmart or walmart is the cheapest places to get them or try online but not always the shipping is cheaper then gas depends where you live. or you can try puttine her in pullus instead of diapers that way it is like a panty and eventually switch her to the training pants. i did both because once her started to goto the toilet and say i put him in the training pants and he didn't like the feeling of being wet. so he learned to say toilet please. ND IT WAS GOOD IN NO TIME.

My son was the same way. I stopped asking if he had to go potty and instead we went potty. We would go every hour or so. If we were out we stopped every 45 min or so especially if we were at sea world Or.... and had lots of liquids.

My son starting going and really started to get the concept of going potty. My son really needed a push we also did away with all diapers at home and if he had an accident he had to help clean up. It took about 2 weeks to get the #1 it took almost a month for #2 if not longer.

You already got a lot of responses so I will only share two thoughts that came to my mind. First, I think an immediate reward will be more incentive. My sisters and Mom say that M&M's are the best. I don't let my kids have sugar, so I give them naturally sweetened mini-cookies (found them at the health food store) and they have worked wonderfully. My first was trained in barely one day (he was almost 3), and we switched the reward from cookies to stickers (with a more delayed reward) after about a month or so. My second (barely over 2) is not quite ready to be fully trained, but when he does go in the toilet, he gets very excited about his cookie. I usually don't like rewarding with food, but for this, it seems to work really well and it is only for a short time.

My second thought was to not let her wear the panties she likes if she is wearing a diaper. The panties should be special and that can be an incentive for her. I didn't let my first wear "big boy underwear" until we said good-bye to the diaper. It was a great incentive for him; he thought it was very exciting. My second is showing a great interest in big boy underwear but I tell him he can't wear them until he is ready "to put all of his tinkles in the toilet." That way, when the day comes to say good-bye to the diaper, the underwear are a reward in themselves.

Good luck!

I don't see many responses about how to actually do it! There is a good book called "Pottywise" that helped me and another I downloaded... We called it "Potty Training Bootcamp" at my house! We stayed home for 3 days in a row. My daughter only wore her panties during the day; no diapers. I told her she needed to keep her "big girl" panties dry; that Zoe didn't want to get wet! We also made her "Princess of the Potty" and bought her a wand and a crown! (imagine, crown, wand and only panties... adorable!)

She peed on the floor the first time on the first day and we ran to the potty. If she got a drop of pee pee in the potty she got a sticker or 1 M&M. I asked her if she had to go every 15 minutes or so... The second time she had to go, she almost made it (had a little on the floor in front of the potty). She made poopy in her pants only one time... she was on her way and didn't make it. (poopy gets 3 M&M's or 3 stickers!)

By the middle of the second day, we went to the store! She had it by the 3rd day. For a few nights, she wore her panties INSIDE her pull up so she could feel it get wet. And we made sure we told her it was "just in case" that we knew she could go but, sometimes when you are sleeping, you don't get up in time to walk to the potty.

She had only one accident at daycare her first day back because the teachers weren't fast enough! After that, no accidents.

Hope this helps!

How long is she going doing the day staying dry? I would not be to worried about her age when she is ready it will be easy. My oldest was 3 1/2 years old before she was day time potty trained. We were night time potty trianed at about 2 1/2 years. We noticed that she was going 3 to 4 hour staying dry and decided that she could tell us she just wasn't. So we took 3 days and she went to the bathroom every 2 hours. No matter where we were. At the end of 3 days she got to buy a special panty and tank set from Wal-Mart all on her own and we never looked back. We had the least set backs of all our friends we just took a little longer. The great thing was that while others still wore diappers at night we were done. Now if my son could just be so easy. Unfortunetly I think not. We are 3 and still battling both. I know it will come I just would have liked it soon than latter. Good Luck and have fun.

Sounds like she is not ready yet. My kid was 4 1/2 before he cared. When he did it took maybe two weeks before he was completely done. No muss, no fuss. We put him in "pullups" for those two weeks, before that only cloth diapers.

I think what changed was that he began to be aware that his friends were out playing while he was still getting changed and he didn't want to miss the party. I just helped him figure out the details.

It was kind of a hassle to wait because the in-laws were freaking out and my mom wasn't thrilled to change him when he slept over at her house but I'm totally glad we waited for him. Unless there is a pressing need to do it now I'd let her make the call. Stressing is hardly ever a good idea!

Thanks for loving her and caring so much. You are a good mommy. Check out Child Led Learning. It is a great concept in child rearing that it sounds like you would jibe with. Is big in homeschooling and La Leche League literature. Dr. Sears' books are great.

Love,
Deb

Hi L. - All I can tell you is that my daughter potty trained right at 3 years, on her birthday actually. Until then she just wasn't ready. I encouraged her and helped her with what she couldn't do herself, but she decided when she was ready. I remember the first time she went #2 without a diaper on...she didn't want to sit down, so we went outside and she did it on the grass! Now that she's 6 and has been using the bathroom independently for about a year, I wonder where the time has gone!

Hope this helps! - P.

Dr. Phil has some good, concrete advice on his website at drphil.com/articles/article/264/ Good luck!!!

Hi, L.,

I've read all the responses and thought that they were very good. And just to give you another GOOD response... of course my son is brilliant and that's why it worked... (lol) But I simply explained the economic hardship of having to buy diapers when the money could be spent elsewhere on far more practical things like on TOYS! NINJA TURTLES to be exact. He totally got it, and then next day? Poof! I never had to buy a diaper again.

Please read The No Cry Potty Solution Book by Elizabeth Pantley. This was exactly what I needed the second time around. With my first, she wasn't not officially potty trained until almost 4 years old! Note that she also went through a move and a new sibling which stalled things and on top of all that had bowel issues. My son was officially trained right around his 3rd Birthday and I credit the ease of it due to the book I read. I had made attempts prior to him turning 3 but once he and I were both ready it was a breeze!

Best wishes,
M.

The stickers/reward chart are great to celebrate no more diapers at the end, but I don;t think kids this age always get the whole picture, or feel too overwhelmed like they will never get to "10." We coupled the chart with instant gratification everytime my DD went. My DD didn't want to drink anything the day we started to potty train. (did she get that it drinking made her pee? who knows) but I knew I had to keep the juices flowing. I ended up making her frozen pops out of propel water (no mess, hardly any suger and keeps her hydrated.) she loved them and wanted to eat them all day and knew she had to use the potty to get one. Just a thought, maybe it will help you. Don't stress too much b/c potty training will happen in time. Good Luck!

Hi L.,

I have a son who will be 3 in January so just a little younger than your daughter. We are not stressing the potty training thing either.

We ask him if he wants to use the toilet and tell him he will get a treat if he goes pee pee or poo poo on the toilet and sometimes he does and sometimes he doesnt.

He also has some big boy underwear that he wants to wear and we let him wear that over his diapers when he wants to. He is starting to have more success so we are encouraging him without being pushy.

I guess what Im saying is...I agree with what you are doing. As long as you aren't stressing and your daughter isn't stressing its all ok. We all get through it. Case in point, I dont know too many adults who are still wearing diapers....:)

Blessings,
R.

Hi L.:
You will no doubt hear this a few times, regarding your request.( Get rid of the diapers) The reason your daughter isn't potty trained yet, is because (YOU don't think shes READY)This is what she feels."Mommy must not think I'm ready for panties" "She still puts a diaper on me" "Soooo...I guess,as long as I have those thick diapers","I can just keep pooping in those,till "SHE thinks i'm READY" I don't mean to come across sarcastic. I'm merely trying to tell you,what your daughters way of thinking is.If you show no confidence in her abilities, then she will lack the confidence,and this will prevent her from achieving goals.Get rid of those diapers, and take her shopping,and allow her to select some frilly pretty panties to celebrate her growing up.I wish you and your darlin daughter the best.

Hello,
I'm grandma to a three year old. The only thing that worked with him was no pull- up or diaper. Just loose fitting pants with an elastic waste.

Best of luck,
M.