Potty Training Advise - Hanceville, AL

Hi, C.. First of all I think what you are doing is amazing! I don't know what made you decide to be a foster parent, but I am glad you did. There are too many children out there without a home, and you are doing something about it.
My advice would be to read a book like How to Potty Train in One Day. I read that with my daughter who is now 4. We didn't potty train in one day, so don't freak out, but the principles are still the same. And, since this is something you are not used to, it will give you some great ideas to use. Part of it is making it fun for both of the children. The other is not getting frustrated with them.
By the way, don't feel too bad that you don't know what to do. Every parent that goes through this the first time has no idea what they are doing either. Yet, most adults out there are potty trained, so their parents must not have screwed up too bad. Hope this helps!

C.,
Hello. First off, thanks for being a caring foster parent. That's a really hard job and thanks for being there for children who need it.

What worked for us was moving to regular underwear and a few other tips I have. I let my daughter pick her underwear out at the store and our motto is to keep them "clean and dry", we say this every time we put our underwear on, I tell her she did a good job keeping them "clean and dry" when we go to use the potty (if they are), and remind her again when we pull them up after she uses the potty. Find about 3 days when you can just stay at home or in your neighborhood. I would take each one to the potty - to just try every hour and then explain that he/she won't have to go so often if he/she starts to tell you when he/she has to go pee or poop. I would still be aware of the time; children do get busy playing and don't want to stop. So, if it's been over 2 hours, I'd just say it's time to "try" to pee or poop.

Accidents will happen, and I never made a big deal out of it; however, it was my daughter that had to clean it up - meaning, she had to take her own shorts and underwear off, wipe herself clean and if it got on anything else like the floor, I gave her a wet cloth to clean it up (of course sometimes I would still need to go over it more), and then she had to carry her wet clothes to the washing machine, come back wash her hands and get re-dressed. I would ask, "Where do we put our pee and poop?" She would say, "In Potty" and I said "That's right, let's do that next time." I have always been kind and understanding (even when I just asked if she needed to go potty), and just talked her through each step of clean up. It's just natural consequences. After about two to three days of having to fully clean up after themselves, I think each will start using the potty. They are going through a lot being in foster care, so I would be kind and understanding at all times during the potty training process.

I would move to underwear and have each one clean himself/herself when accidents do occur, but that's just me. We did still use pull-ups for nap and night until those can be mastered too. Sorry this is so long, hope it's helpful. Best of luck to you.
~ J.

Drop cheerios in the toilet bowl and have them try to pee-pee on them. The little boys LOVE doing this and it helps their aim (YEA). The little girls don't have any problems watching them float around either. Poo-poo time can be the same way. Sounds silly, but whatever works!! Good luck and God Bless you for taking them in to your life as their foster mom!

C.
My oldest son was very difficult to potty train. We made a game out of it. The two most helpful methods was: First, I put fruit loops in the potty chair that had about 1/2 inch of water in it and he had to hit the targets (this also helped him to learn colors), Second, I jad approx 1/2 inch of water in the potty chair and added liquid dish detergent so that when he went, it made bubbles. I have no good ideas for potty training little girls.
Good Luck.

I taped up a sheet of notebook paper and let my son put stickers up each time he was successful going to the potty. I kept it there in the bathroom, close to the toilet and it worked great. Find something they are really into right now and incorporate it into a reward. We also let him watch the Elmo potty video. Not sure how much it helped but he enjoyed it and we talked about it a lot. Good luck and Kudos to you for being a foster parent. It takes special people to do Gods work!

There are a couple dolls on the market that 'go to the bathroom' and might work. What I did was take my girls with me when I went so they could learn. I had a training potty as well as the regular toilet and we would sit together with a book (helps body to relax) shortly after any meal and a couple of times in between. Didn't take them long. My husband was a huge help in this area with our son. Kids are great copycats and tend to mimic those around them. Once their days were 'clean', I worked on the nights getting up every few hours to take them until they got into the habit themselves.

Best of luck - just try to make it as stress free as possible.

~V~
PS My son started a bit later than the girls and took only a little longer.

There are great DVDs and children's books available you can watch and read with the kids and talk about it. Never force them to potty though, that only makes it harder. I never thought I would use candy, but I got desperate with my stuborn son and he got 1 M&M every time he tried to potty and then later only when he peed in the potty. That really worked for us. You can also use sweet tarts or jelly beans. My son was REALLY resistant to pooping, so I had to get a bunch of cheap hotwheels and he got 1 per day when he pooped in the potty. Some kids who aren't so resistant can use stickers instead of candy or toys. You put them on a chart and when they get so many stickers they get a special treat. Good luck.
I also agree with Chris S. about the control factor for foster kids. Don't feel bad if you think you need to consult a psychologist or other specialist about it. Hopefully you have one you can call through the foster program. These sweet kids may need extra loving care to start pottying.

For the girl i skittles or m&m rewards on the back of the toilet every time she goes she gets a few... maybe a sticker board if that is what she likes... or go to dollar tree and get little toys that are resonable and once she goes all day long you can reward her with one... then move it to weekly once she is pretty well trained you can easily discontinue...

Fot the boy you can do the same as above... but this is what i found helpful for my son.... i put froot loops in the toilet and let him aim at them with help of a step stool of course... it was more of a game to him than a chore since the froot loops move around the toilet even if you don't hit them the vibrations in the water make them move... they also become soggy and flush easily after a while so don't worry about septic problems.... GOOD LUCK!!!

AND I THINK YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON FOR TAKING IN THOSE KIDS.... GOOD FOSTER PARENTS ARE HARD TO FIND... YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE OR YOU WOULDN'T BE ON HERE ASKING FOR HELP

i would say -- no tricks especially not candy. wouldn't it be weird to you if someone gave you an m&m every time you pooped? i had a friend who did this and it got WAY out of control, with her daughter refusing to do anything unless she got candy. i personally would probably not even push it with them with all of the stress involved with being foster children, they don't need the added stress of being potty trained. 2 is really young anyway. if it really is bothering you, i would wait until they are both three then start them together, that way they can encourage and challenge each other. Dr sears has a good potty training book for children called "you can go to the potty"

blessings to you for being a foster parent. it is hard work, and you may not see the difference you made now, but you are making an eternal difference to those two babies.

Some kids that deal with a lot of change in their lives try to find control. One of the only things that kids have complete control over is going potty:) Also, kids dealing with transitions sometimes regress. Kids that used to be potty trained suddenly have accidents, kids start sucking their thumbs again, etc. Maybe that is happening with your two toddlers. I'd keep the potty routine going, having them sit on it once every hour or two, and sing a song before they can get up off the seat. The first time they go on the potty, have a potty party! Praise the heck out of the event! Hopefully they will adjust into your home routine and have many potty parties! Good luck.

This may sound kind of strange but I have two boys who were very hardheaded about potty training and this method worked with both of them. If you have a potty chair that they're using, and your at home with them during the day try putting the potty chair in front of the tv or in the playroom (or whereever the kids play the most). I said it would sound strange but it did work for me. My boys were so intent on watching their cartoons or playing with toys/games, that they didn't want to take the time out to use the potty but with it where they could see it and not spend any extra time running to the bathroom, they used it more frequently and eventually got comfortable with the idea of using the bathroom like big boys, in the bathroom. Good luck, I know it can be very frustrating.