Potty Training Advice for DD#2 (Awful Experience Training DD#1)

Updated on May 20, 2011
L.B. asks from Fort Worth, TX
9 answers

My youngest will be 2 years old in July (20th) and I want to start potty training her but we had such a hard time with my oldest that I am lost as to how to do this successfully. My first is sweet but very strong willed and didn't completely train until around age 4. It was a nightmare trying to keep her from pooping in her pants. I am not sure where we went wrong with her: we used positive reinforcement, tried pull-ups, cotton training pants, and nothing at all. We made her clean her own dirty panties starting at around 3 1/2 years old. We used the timer, the potty watch, everything we could think of but she still struggled with this until just before her baby sister was born.

Now its about time to start with my youngest but wanted some advice from those who successfully trained their toddlers. Should I wait a little longer? How did you do it and how long did it take? I understand that they will learn to pee in the potty first but pooping takes a bit longer.

A little about her: she was a late walker (17 months), she says a few words but isn't very vocal, when anyone in the house is on the potty she will point and say "poopoo" so I think she understands what the potty is for.

Any good advice would be appreciated!

Thanks!

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Featured Answers

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My kids are around the same age as you and my 1st took awhile to potty train. She started showing interest around 20 months and would sit on it all the time and pee. She didn't stop having accidents daily until around 3.5 and she didn't want to wear diapers so she WAS ready even if her body wasn't. My son (21 months old) will sometimes sit on the potty and has gone 1x but other than that, he shows no interest, will sometimes tell us when he's wet but that's about it. I think I rushed to train my daughter and will wait a bit longer for my son - until he's really ready - verbally and physically. Just my opinion.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

The "happiest" experiences that I've observed (and practiced myself when my daughter was little) was to do lots of "pretraining" with demonstrations, books, role-play with toys, videos, etc. When the child is ready, usually no earlier than 2 years and a few months, he or she expresses the desire to use the potty and wear real underpants.

At that point, success usually follows quickly, sometimes in a couple of days or a week. I've seen instances where there was no more than one accident. When accidents do occur, calmly help the child clean up, and express your confidence in his ability to figure it out pretty soon.

Be aware of a few things: Some children won't be ready until age 3, 3.5, or 4. Night dryness comes in its own time, and can't be "taught." It depends on the body and brain maturing, and is not in the child's control. And poop training is actually a separate step for many children. Some master it first, some right along with pee training, but many kids need extra time to work on it, especially if they have any problems with constipation or uncomfortable pooping.

Good luck! Do your best to stay casual and supportive, and it should go well.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We trained DS when he was 25 months old. We just put him in underwear and put him on the toilet a lot. We read 'Everyone Poops' by Taro Gomi (a lot). We did not do rewards or punishment. We just told him that pee and poop go in the toilet (we got a toilet seat cover/insert by Baby Bjorn so he would not fall in - no icky potty to clean). We had 3-4 days with a lot of pee accidents, one or two poop accidents, maybe another week of occasional pee accidents and 2 pee accidents over the next year.

The average American child was trained by 18 months (done, not started) back in the 1950's prior to the introduction of disposable diapers. My sister and I were both trained by 13 months. There was no such thing as 'potty readiness' back then. Children's physiology has not changed since then and as far as I know, no one I know has been psychologically scarred by potty training. The majority of children around the world are trained by a year of age (great 2005 NY Times article) So I would just go for it.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

I really found the advice on Dr. Sear's website the most helpful and spot on.....I would start there. I really thought I would not have an issue training my daughters but they were more difficult for me than the kiddos I assisted in teaching in Preschool where I worked.

www.askdrsears.com

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Many, many, many children are not ready to potty train until they are 3 and sometimes older. Two is not a magical age where every kid "gets it". I would have saved myself A LOT of heartache with my son if I had realized that when he was younger. Simply understanding what the potty is used for is just a small part in a huge process. If you want to try at 2, go ahead, but don't be afraid or upset by the idea of taking a break from the process and going back to it when she is older if she doesn't seem ready. GL!

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E.K.

answers from Dallas on

I just answered another potty post :-)

We used: http://www.3daypottytraining.com/
It really works! Okay, it took us longer than the 3 days. My son was mostly potty trained after about 4-5 days and fully trained within two weeks (with only occasional accidents/but stopped himself from making a big mess). This program has gotten a lot of good reviews. My friend was able to train her 2 year old daughter in the 3 days for peeing. Pooping took a couple of weeks. Word of advice - if you follow the program exactly, it really works. My son was trained about 2 months ago and has not had any accidents in at least three weeks.

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S.J.

answers from Saginaw on

You know I have two so far and one more to go and I have never EVER "trained" my children to go potty. With positive attitude and patience they did it on their own. My oldest didn't fully get it till 4 during the day and closer to 5 at night my middle child day and night at the same time around 3.5. If they are not ready then they are not ready. It is such a waste of time, money and energy to push something on someone when their body is just not ready for it!

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I was in the exact same position as you almost 2 years ago. I had a horrible time with my oldest and she was around 3 1/2 before I would officially call her potty trained. So when the decision came for my second, I waited it out. Initially I waited until she could tell me she was ready, but at almost 3 that still didn't happen. So just before her 3rd birthday I decided to go for it. I went straight to underwear, no pull ups, and held my breath. Lucky for me, my youngest took to it after only about 1 week. Overall, I think waiting was one of the reasons for my easy success.

Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My girl is really head strong so I just waited with her. I just kept asking her and putting the ideas in her head. First she started showing interets in th potty so we let her sit on it. Next she said she wanted panties so we did that. It only took about two weeks and she was potty trained for pooping and peeing. I didn't push at all. She did not start talking really well until she was almost 2 (her brother did most of it). I think waiting until her vocab was higher really helped too.

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