I know there are potty training questions posted almost every day, but I have not seen a question about this. My almost 3 year old is interested in the potty sometimes. (When it is her idea!) The biggest problem that we have is she doesn't know she has to go until she starts to pee. She will start to pee in her diaper and then realize that she has to go, so she will either tell me she has to go or just goes and finishes in her little potty. She doesn't always do this, just on occasion, when it is her idea. She doesn't let me just put her on every half hour or so. The other day she also just went in to the bathroom by herself and pooped. She usually hides and poops in her diaper, so I was very surprised she went on the potty. But later that day when she pooped in her diaper I explained that instead of hiding why doesn't she sit on the potty and go like she did earlier. She looked at me hurt and said that she already pooped in the potty. It was like she thinks after she has done it once she doesn't have to again. However, my biggest question is how do I get her to recognize the pee sensation before she starts to pee?
if you can be with her when she is actually peeing in the toilet, see if you can get her to pee and then stop and then pee and then stop. It strengthens the muscle down there and makes it easier for them to wait to pee until they get onto the potty. Good luck!
sounds like you are doing a great job potty training her. I would continue to let her decide when to go. Pressure can really delay training. Just keep praising her when she does it right. If she goes in her diaper you might try saying, oops you went in your diaper, that's ok you can try again next time. and leave it at that. As far as feeling the sensation, that is really developmental. There's nothing you can do, it just means you have to be patient and wait until she is ready. Good luck!
my mom told me that i could have pretty underwear when i didn't mess in my diaper. my neighbor took toys away when her daughter messed in her pants. she also (after there were no more toys to take away) began a reward system that you can have a treat only when you use the bathroom.
Learning to control peeing is just like strengthening a muscle. A memory for that sensation has to be created. It is difficult to do this, but the best way is to just take your daughter and make her sit on the poty every hour until she starts to make the connection. It can happen all in one day. The biggest thing I did for my daughter and for me was to get rid of the crutch- I just stopped putting her in diapers at all. It is too confusing for the child. Good luck!
I would take her out of diapers. Get her in regular panties. Take her shopping and let her pick her favorite characters. Stay close to the bathroom a couple of days. I would always wait until I knew I didn't have to go anywhere for a few days. Not the time to go shopping for hours. Don't put her back in the diapers during the day. Don't even let her see them. Just use the panties. Be sure to praise her everytime she goes. Maybe you should wait a couple of weeks and start from the beginning. Maybe until after her birthday. Take her shopping for 3yr old panties.
I just read bits of Potty Train Your Child in a Day by Terry Crain. She might have some good answers. The system would be about right for your daughter. It might be worth getting from the library. GL!
Hi! My 3 year old daughter just got trained a few months back (she turned 3 in January and didn't get trained until February or so). My biggest piece of advice is to know that she will go and be trained when she is ready. I tried and tried at different times to get her trained earlier as my first daughter was trained at 18 months. There was no use in making her go when she was not ready. It sounds like your daughter is getting more ready all the time. Keep encouraging her and give her a prize when she does go in the potty. Cheer her on, and when she does go in her diaper keep doing as you do and tell her it's ok, but she's a big girl when she goes in the potty chair. They go when they are ready. It sounds like she's doing a great job and is catching on more and more!!
Children are very reliant on parents to tell them when they need to do something. Your daughter may not realize that she is the only one who knows when she has to go. Have a good, friendly talk with her and explain to her that only she knows when she needs to go potty so only she can make sure she gets to the potty on time. Be very encouraging and supportive, but make sure she understands that it is up to her. Also explain that going potty is something that she needs to start doing all of the time. Tell her that it may take some time to make it to the potty all of the time, but that she should be working toward that goal.
Hi S.,
Okay, I have been working with toddler's for over twenty years now and I can tell you a thing or two about this first hand, I have been right behind many little tykes when they succeeded, and the first one would be: Do not force them, let it be their decision. Forcing them just makes the process alot longer. You take them to the store to pick out their own new underwear and then it only takes a couple of times having an accident before they get the hang of it. But their is 7 signs they need to meet before you even start. When they have an accident do not scold or show disappointment, just say uh oh, it was just an accident, you can try again next time. When they do succeed and get it in the potty, internalize their success for them. I know that you want to jump up and down and hoop and holler but contain it, they have little control over alot of things in their life, this needs to be their accomplishment and idea, so to internalize it, when they do it, you say to them (calmy) wow! how does that make you feel? You put your Poop and Pee in the potty, that is yours isn't it? Another thing I do is I have them sit on the potty backwards so that they feel more secure sitting and they see the BM and urine leave their body which is another internal cue for them. The reason why it is called Potty Training is because the parent is trained to ask if they have to go incesently, and that is a drain on their little self esteem, I know that none of us would want to be asked over and over again or lead in there every hour or so, it's humiliating for them, think about it from their perspective, so if you are reminding him/her or taking them in all the time you are training yourself and humiliating them. We do not give these intelligent little people the credit they deserve, their biggest wish it to please you as a parent so why wouldn't they do it on their own when they are ready, instead of being made to. I do not know if you are familiar with Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, but he has a book called,"Toilet training the Brazelton way" and in his book he has the seven signs to watch for readiness in your child that I mentioned and his philosophy is the one I adopted and I can promise you that it has worked for my children and for countless children in my care for years.
Best of luck in whatever you decide.
These are the beautiful years. (Poop and all)
J. P.
Dear S.,
I just saw this post, so I am late in responding. Your daughter sounds EXACTLY like mine! I don't have any advice since I'm going thru the exact same thing, but wanted you to know that you are not alone! My daughter turned 3 in February. Still not potty trained. She is a very stubborn and active girl. I think her reluctance is a mixture of not wanting to stop what she's doing to sit on the potty (she can continue her play in diapers), a control thing (after this, the only thing she has control over is eating), and not knowing the pee sensation. We've tried the "just underwear" thing and after countless accidents, she still hasn't gotten the correlation. However, she almost always poops in the potty (quite opposite of most kids!!) I think that is because it takes longer so when she feels the need to go, she has time to get to the potty. She used to hide too, and still occasionally does when she doesn't go in the potty.... Anyway, she really starts resisting even more when I start pushing too much, so I have to catch myself and ease up. I keep telling myself "is she going to be the oldest kid EVER to wear diapers?". But I suppose SOME DAY she'll be ready.... my 13 month old daughter will probably be potty trained before her! LOL :)
Anyway, I feel your frustration and wish you the best!
~ T.
How do you get her to recognize the sensations? The biggest thing is time enough to let her muscles and nervous system mature. Don't worry, she is starting to get it. Kids train at their own pace. In a few years you will look back and wonder what you were so worried about!
