Potty Training a Boy Who Is Afraid

Put cheerios in the bowl and make it a game for him in the beginning. Tell him to shoot the cheerios. He will love it and not be afraid. It works great.

My son had the same problem with the potty. I actually wasn't able to get him potty trained till he was 3 1/2. He also didn't want to use the toilet or his little one so I pretty much had to just get rid of his diapers and put underware on him. The 1st time he had an accident he hated the feeling and just gave up and used the potty. It only took him one week to be fully potty trained. Then for bed time and when we went somewhere we put a pullup on overtop his underware. Hope this helps

Be consistant and TOUGH! Unless there is a medical problem or development issue, 3 year old children are developmentally ready to be totally out of diapers including at night.

Knowing that may help. Transitions are difficult for young children as they like the status quo. Do not take any nonsense from him. Do not let him take advantage of you either.

Being tough does not equate shame. You will not be shaming him you will be teaching him. If you are authoritative it will happen. Stay strong. It is not fun, but again, by 3 he is capable. Good luck.

A.

Hi H..
my son is now 2 1/2 and shows no interest in the potty. Several months ago he was vaguely interested in going pee pee and with several successes. but, after a few weeks he became completely disinterested again. whenever i suggest it he quickly and adamantly replies, "NO!" I think he just doesn't want to stop playing and it's much quicker and easier for him to use a diaper. I, like you, would also love to have him out of diapers, but have realized that when he's ready, then he'll let us know. so, i try not to push it, but i do ask him fairly regularly if he wants to try, just to test the waters. I'm hoping that as he realizes that some of the kids in his daycare are starting to use the potty, that it will provide a little more motivation for him.

I'm sure you've tried things like letting him pick out his own pullups or training pants. One thought might be to pick one of his favorite characters and let him know that that character will chase away his scary thoughts when he goes to use the potty. We use this tactic when my son is going to sleep and says he's afraid. I designated his friendly stuffed dragon as his "Grand Protector" and if he gets scared he should pull on the dragon's tongue. works like a charm! I also agree with the other mom's about m n' m's. According to my mom that was how she got me trained!

good luck!
K.

Hi H.
I started potty training my son a couple of months after he was 3. I gave him what I call "The talk" I explained to him that he is a big boy now and he does not have to use diapers anymore. He is a BIG Spiderman fan, so during Naptime at Daycare I brought in a new package of Spiderman underwear and asked the girls to tell Benjamin when he woke up that Spiderman heard he is a big boy now and no longer uses diapers and wanted you to have Spiderman underwear. He thought that was the "coolest" thing ever. It took a couple of weeks with accidents - but he is doing great.

I think if you keep reminding him that he is a "Big Boy" and no longer needs the diapers - he might start using the potty. Good luck !!

My son didn't want to use the potty either,he was 3 too, he screamed when I tried to take him in. I read this idea online and tried it. I bought a little training potty and kept it in the living room. Then during the day, I'd keep his socks on and a sweatshirt, but then he was bare bottemed. We kept the heat up to make sure he was warm. When he knew he had to go, and there was no diaper to go in, he squirmed the first few times, got upset, but no more upset than when I tried to take him into the potty. He'd finally run to the little potty chair when he couldn't hold it any longer. It may sound like tough love, but it worked, pretty fast too. Remember to teach him to push down his privates as not to spray the floor, I kept a towel under the potty chair the first few days(and I have white carpet.ha). He evenually found it wasn't so bad to use a potty and soon he was using the big potty w/ a seat cover he could put on himself so he didn't feel like he was falling in, also had a little step stool so he could get up on it easier. Standing came naturally to him a month or so later. He still had accidents now and then for the first few months, but that's to be expected. I was thinking he'd be in diapers at his prom, but after just a couple stressfull days, it got easier and easier. As with any suggestion, not all plans work for all kids.

Good luck

Hi H.....
I went through a very similar thing with my son....he will be 4 in February. He just wouldn't go on the potty after all the prodding and pushing we did. We decided to back off a bit and just ask him each time....that seemed to work for one day he went on the potty. Just like that, out of the blue. This was back in April. He was ready. He also delayed with number 2. He would wait until we put him to bed and go in his diaper. Then again, one day.....he decided to try. We were on a train no less. This was this past July.
My advise is to offer the potty to him but don't push. He will go when he is ready....boys are just slower than girls when it comes to that. I know how you feel on wanting to get out of diapers, but it will happen.

Try just focusing on peeing for now. Try a peter potty. IT's a training urinal.. he can stand in front and aim and it even has a real flush mechanism and as his confidence grows you can work towards #2 in the potty and using the big boy potty. Also try charts with stickers and rewards.. backing off the rewards slowly. We did a peanut m& m for each use.. then only if he did #2 and then none at all but a good word. Most boys wait till 3 yrs old too to really get serious. And don't be discouraged if he's 3 1/2 and only just getting it. Be prepared and have a good sense of humor!! Good luck!

Hi, Folks!

I don't know if you'll see this message since it's on the bottom of the page, but if you do, I hope you'll accept my deepest apology for offending you. It was never my intention to do that. My hope was to give a different perspective, but certainly not offend. Despite my intention, it seems that I have offended at least a few folks, and for that I am deeply sorry.

With kindest regards,

Marji

Hi. You didn't mention if you were trying the potty seats that fit on the regular toilet seat or the potty chairs that go on the floor. If he's sitting on a regular potty he might be afraid it's going to suck him in the way it sucks in everything else. If you are using the potty chairs that sit on the floor maybe you could take it completely apart and show him what it looks like, and how it works. I'm not sure what else to tell you. I potty trained 2 and didn't have any problems, but I still have 2 more to go, so who knows what the future holds! Good luck!

I'm in the same boat. My daughter will be 4 in February and she out and out refuses to use the potty. I've tried different kinds, training and seats for the big potty. She says she is afraid and always tells me "later," which never comes. I've tried just putting big girl pants on her, that didn't work. I've tried incentives and rewards, nothing works. She's small for her age, but I'm not sure that should have anything to do with it. I had no problem with my other two daughters who are much older.

Wish I can help you out. I have a little girl. But try talking to your ped. She/he may have some suggestions

I would try letting him pick out a potty. Then put that potty in the living room or family room or where ever he spends most of his time and let him sit on it fully clothed until he is comfy with it. Then slowly work his clothes off step by step. Eventually the potty will be his friend. On ocassion bring it in the bathroom and when daddy goes let him pretend to go. (Of course daddy may have to sit to show him this, but that is a small sacrafice.) I trained my daughter doing this method and when we got to the actually sitting "properly" on the potty it took me 3 days to complete the training. Really is a great method!! Good luck! (FYI, my daughter had just turned 2 when I did this just to see if it would work, and was afraid of the toilet.)

And by the way, we all know who runs Marji's house right?! (hint: not her!!)

just go with how he feels. if he knows that you support him, then it may become less scary for him over time. my son was 3.5 when he was trained and it literally happened overnight. he just decided that he was done and wanted to wear underwear. you really can't force him and they always end up fine.

-L.

Try making a game of it. My boys were potty trained on a "big boy" toilet------------- SITTING backwards(facing the tank) that way the seat gave them security that they wouldn't fall in. The game was to target practice using Cheerios as the targets! Happy praise when the job was done. Good Luck!

First reponse - Marji, you need to keep your opinions to yourself, your response was incredibly rude and over assuming. This reponse would have really made me angry if it were to me - this is not the venue for such alegations.

We went through the same thing but I hate to say that bribery did work - a toy/sticker/candy when they go on the potty is a great reward and seems to make them feel good about themselves and what they have done. Soon he will come out the bathroom and tell EVERYONE "I went poop/pee on the potty!!!!" with excitement. Hope this helps.

My oldest daughter was three and three months when she finally decided she was ready to use the potty. She wouldn't have anything to do with it before then. Once she was ready, there wasn't any training involved - she just decided one day that it was time and only had one or two accidents after that! My youngest was just over three as well.

You've probably already done this, but you may want to talk to your son about what he's afraid of. It may be something easily fixed. My youngest didn't like the small potty chairs but was fine with a seat on the big toilet.

I know it can be frustrating to have them in diapers at that age, but it shouldn't be much longer.

try putting cherrio's in the toilet and he can play a game to sink them it worked for my son. #2 is a little more tricky in potty training. we just put underoos on him and hoped for the best. once he messed a couple of times he went on his own

I'm not exactly in the same boat because my three year old daughter is now potty trained, but I just went through this a few months ago and was so stressed out about the fact that she wasn't using the potty and I didn't know what to do about it. I'm ashamed to say that I lost my cool a couple of times when she wouldn't go on the potty and I didn't understand why. She has always been so bright and quick with other things. When I finally just threw my hands up in the air and took a step back, that's when she started to become interested in it and gave it another try. Also, little M&M's or gummi bears worked. Not that it's always good to bribe with food, but we used that for a couple of weeks and once she had it, the food treats weren't necessary anymore. If he's a visual learner, a sticker chart may work. One other thing, after my daughter mastered tinkling, she was deathly afraid to poop on the potty. Again, I just decided she wasn't ready for it, but would still discuss it with her from time to time in a non-threatening manner, and one day she decided she was ready, and she never used her diapers again- except for overnight. Also, those potty books and videos helped- Once Upon a Potty, Everyone Poops, etc. Good luck. It's such a stressful time, but hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon.

after reading your first response.. im afraid to use the bathroom.. that was a bit rude.. anyways im in the same boat with ya.. camerons(2) not quite scared.. he just doesn't want to use it.. when they are ready they will tell us.. good luck and let me know if you figure something out.. thanks