Potty Training - Staten Island,NY

I would first focus on retraining her bowels to work without the miralax. Try looking up information on encopresis for ideas (this is basically a condition in which a child holds their poop). If you fill her with lots of fiber and water, that should make her poop soft. I notice a big difference in my son's when he's getting lots of fruit.

As for potty training, I highly recommend Lora Jensen's 3 day potty training program. It's an e-book and it really works!

Good luck! :)

Why on earth would she make the effort to use the potty, when she can not use the potty and you will continue changing her diapers? She's 33 months - more than old enough to be potty trained. The thing is, you have to be the mommy here and not wait for her to decide she feels like doing it. Make the decision that it's going to happen, inform her of the decision, and throw away all the diapers. Then, on a weekend when you don't have anywhere to go, make her run around naked from the waist down and anytime you think she might have to go, get her to the potty. It's tough, but don't give in! Stick with it. She will fight you at first because she's 2, and that's what they do at this age. Just stick to your guns and keep at it. If she pees on the floor, don't get mad. Just say, "Next time you'll make it to the potty," and make sure she does. It took about 3 days to potty train my youngest this way (the older one, I just explained what needed to happen and about 4 hours later she was good to go and totally trained - but I don't think that's normal =).

Anyhow, don't worry about scarring her for life. It's potty training, not nuclear war. It's just a skill, like learning to dress herself or learning to eat with a spoon. No need to make it a big emotional thing. Just be matter-of-fact about it and she'll get with the program pretty quickly.

Readiness for potty training is an individual thing for each child. No matter how many ideas parents have about it, and what techniques are employed, kids pretty much use the potty when they are physically and emotionally prepared to do so. When that time arrives, their whole attitude can change dramatically, and obstacles evaporate.

Since you have the feeling she may not be ready, and she has some reason to fear elimination, and because approximately half a year remains before she has to be in pull-ups (not even fully trained), I hope you'll handle your anxieties in a way that will not add to your daughter's. Half a year is a VERY long time to a toddler, and she'll have time for a lot of physical and emotional development by then.

I have to agree with Catherine C, You have got to pull the plug on the diapers. Leaving her naked will make her choose and I bet in a couple days it will relax.
I am also concerned about her being medicated for what seems to be like a psychological problem. It seems like she is afraid of the bathroom process which is psychological and to correct this she was put on a medication that has serious physical effects. But because the problem was psychological it never really helped the root of the problem. Also, to be on laxative type medication for more than a year seems excessive (for anyone much less a 2 year old) and could probably cause GI trouble down the road. Your GI tract can become reliant on the medication.
My recomendation, Get her off the meds and get her on shredded wheat, dried fruit and pear juice. Then a week after that ditch the diapers and have her run around naked. She will come around when she realizes that the old comfy ways of peeing in a diaper are gone.

It definitely sounds like she is just not ready. My son is now 3 years and 3 months old and has been wearing underwear regularly for about a week. He was NOT ready previously and any attempts we had at toilet training did not work, so we backed off. I'm not completely sure what really triggered his readiness, but we had one more attempt and it was just at the right time for him. Once she is ready, she will be ready and willing, so try not to push her. Just like walking, children all develop within a normal range, but it is a big range. She might be in pull-ups at night for a while, but I'm sure by September she will be in underwear.

I would definitely put the axe on any pullups. They aren't underwear and if they're used as a diaper, better to just use a diaper (cheaper and no mixed messages). If being wet doesn't bother her, switch to a cloth diaper. This lets her know what happens when she pees - she gets very wet - and she starts to learn how it feels just before that happens. That gets her started on pee training at least. When ready, take her to the bathroom every hour and a half or so. Let her know you're focusing only on pee training, take the pressure off with the poop but I would suggest consulting the doc about getting her regular

I understand your daughter has some issues due to her constipation. I would not let that hold you back, however. I think you need to push a little harder, keep asking and keep trying. One book I ordered online was The Potty Training Boot Camp. It was $7 or so, and a great combination of many techniques out there. It's got some very good ideas in it, so I would get it tonight and read it (it's not very long at all). Be encouraging of your daughter, believe that she CAN do it (regardless of her issues almost 2 years ago), and she will do it. I think you might be enabling her just a bit.

My personal belief is that kids can be trained before they are "ready". Children used to be out of diapers on potty trained between 1-2 years, now many of them are still in diapers (aka pull-ups) at 4 and 5 while their parents wait for them to be ready. As a previous poster said, kids know how to "work it". They know they won't have to go on the potty if they can get you to keep them in diapers and changing them. I think it's a good idea to work on potty training BEFORE they hit the "terrible twos". Then it just seems to be an uphill battle for most because the kids are being testy in so many ways. I was able to potty train my son at 24 months in about 2 weeks. He was ready, because I prepared him by talking about it, using a doll, rewarding him for successes, etc. That being said, you can do it! Ditch the diapers (and don't even use Pull-Ups- we never did) and see how it goes. Just stick with it and you'll do great!

Good luck,
T.

I would get rid of diapers, pull ups, etc. Make this non-negotiable.
Definitely would not give up the Miralax. Tell her there is no time to go
to store to buy diapers and that is that. It is amazing how they rise
to the occasion when they know "game over." Good luck and stay
strong.

My 13 still experiences problems here & there and was under the care of a pediatric gi for many years. She would hold it & we would end up in the e/r w/her screaming in pain. We were advised to give her kondromul every night (it's a liquid that would help her body). At the last visit we had we were told that by retraining her body (she had to sit on the toilet for 10-15 mins every night at the same time) she should be okay. On occassion she will take one of the laxatives prescribed, but that is used only as a last resort. I potty trained her when she was 18 months and in my opinion it was way too soon. I feel that is why we ran into all of these gi problems over the years. Good luck.

have you tried putting her in underwear? i would hate for you to spend all that money on specialists if it's just a simple solution. sure she says she doesn't "want" to wear them - most kids don't choose to change their familiar routine. maybe invest a day and try it out. it might be more of a challenge for her than other kids, but don't let her telling you she doesn't want to, deter you. most kids would not if they had the choice. the initial excitement of potty training most kids show, is right at first, and fades quickly. good luck and i hope she figures it out!

My son was a late potty trainer too--we started in pull ups at 18 months and he wasn't in underwear until he was nearly 4. But I had another baby during that time and was not working on potty training with him very much for about 12 of the 18 months. I would try to wean her off the miralax, making sure she gets lots of high fiber foods and water. At the same time get her used to the potty by putting where she sees it all the time and then get her used to sitting on it dressed. I would also talk to her about when she got sick before and explain it is not usual for it to hurt when using the potty. You could also let her see you use the bathroom and explain that most people pee many times a day and poop once (or whatever is usual for you). When you have done that part she may be ready for the next step of trying to pee in the potty and wearing training pants or pull ups. Pull ups are pretty much just like diapers in function. I used them because my son was too big for the biggest size diapers. It was also really hard to find training underwear in his size.