Hi G.,
I am a prek Teacher and I hope these tips might be helpful to you :) First and foremost, I would make sure he is able to pull them down. If he has not done this independently, I would want you to make sure this is not a motor processing problem which would prohibit him from physically being unable to coordinate that motor movement. If you have witnessed him taking off his pants for other reasons and able to pull them up and down in other situations, then my guess it that it is a typical control battle. Children at this age typically want control and if you want him to pull them down, he has found a way to have control by refusing to pull them down. Sometimes, playing games like " Can you pull your pants down before I get to the count of 5? Ready set go.. will work. But other times, it might need to be more creative. So, my other suggestion is to see if you can give him some control or "perceived control" so that it is no longer about making him do it, it is something he feels like he is in control of. For example, maybe he could choose between wearing snap and zip pants or elastic waist and just ask him "which ones would you like to pull down when you go pee pee on the potty?" Then remind him that he chose the elastic waist when it comes time to potty. If he refuses say "Oh, you must want the snap and zip pants, let's put those on". Then walk away from the bathroom and let him pull his pants down or have an accident.. If he has an accident, because he refused to pull them down, then calmly have him help you wipe up the mess and throw the wet clothes in the washer. I would also recommend that he doesn't get a new set of clothes, but that he has to wait for those pants to wash and dry (put new undies on). Then, while he is waiting, the other family members could go do something fun like go to the park, but he has to stay home with Daddy until his clothes are finished washing and drying. I would make sure they came back before the clothes were done. Try to make the consequences of not pulling down his pants on his own real and practical. It shouldn't take too many accidents before he connects that it will be much easier to just pull down his pants then to have to wait for them to be washed and dried and potentially miss out on some fun. The key to young children is to not be phased by their refusal and to remain calm and matter of fact, it works in 99% of the situations I have encountered and sometimes, children will wait a LONG time before they respond , but when they see they are not rattling my chain and I"m just waiting on them, they give up the battle. Hope these ideas help or spark another idea that might work for you!
Deb