My son will be 4 in June I've been attempting to potty train him since at least last September. He's never done good at this at all. I can take him to the potty every hour and he'll still pee his pants. I've tried letting him just run around in his underwear, he still pees his pants. Taking him to the potty is a HUGE battle. He fights me every time. I've tried letting him tell me, he won't. He'll just walk around in wet underwear all day. It's getting to be a big problem because he needs to go to preschool in September and no one will take him unless he's potty trained. This problem seems to be getting worse and not better. I'll tell him to go to the bathroom and he'll be dry when I send him in the bathroom but then pees his pants while talking to me about why he can't go pee pee in the potty. I'm at my wits end with this kid. I have no idea what to do. We tried the sticker chart in the beginning and it didn't do any good. We tried giving him candy when he'd go in the potty. Still didn't do anything (we're still sitting on all that candy). I've even tried bribing him with pennies to put in his car bank. Please please help me. I'm ready to just ship him off somewhere and have someone else potty train him because I'm SO SO tired of this. I haven't even attempted potty training at night because I figure if he can't go potty during the day how the heck is he going to remember to go potty at night? Please help me. I'm open to anything!!! Also he's a very active little so if anyone has potty trained an ADHD child or a very active boy those would be especially helpful.
I bought a POTTY BOOK FOR GIRLS and my 2 yr old daughter loves it. The ilustrations are wonderful. We read it every day. She is starting to tell me when she needs to go to the potty and sits on it.
How frustrating! I know this may sound a little too simple, but try not giving him ANY attention when he has an accident and making a HUGE deal out of it anytime he even gets on the potty. Some kids just know that they get a lot of attention when they have an accident and if that stops it might help. Also, something that I have done, which sounds a little cruel but doesn't hurt them at all, is a cold shower when he has an accident. I'm not talking ice water, just a little cooler than body temp. so it's uncomfortable. I always told my boys that if they had an accident they had to get clean so they had to shower. My youngest didn't mind at first and I had to lower the temp. a little at a time to find what was uncomfortable to him. When he has an accident don't talk to him and don't look directly at him. Just take him by the hand into the bathroom, strip him down and shower him. Then let him dry off and dress by himself. Also if he made a mess somewhere in the house make him clean it up. Again, don't talk to him, just lead him and then ignore him. Then take him to the bathroom a half hour later (he probably won't need to go, but the goal is just getting him on the toilet) and just talk to him about anything. Use his favorite cartoon, or toys as a conversation starter. Don't talk to him about using the bathroom, just make it simple. If he gets on the toilet make a big deal out of it. If not just talk to him about something else and try again a half hour later. The goal is to make the toilet the attention time and accidents make him feel like he's alone. Hopefully it helps, whatever you try don't give up. If your son knows he can outlast you in any situation, he will.
Have you tried putting "targets" in the potty that he can try to pee on? I know of some boys that that has worked for.
I agree with Abbey! That is the book we bought for our daughter when she was 2.5 and we started training. It really truly works!! Good luck!
This sounds so much like my son (who does have ADHD). Stickers didnt work, rewards and treats didn't work. Nothing did. So from experience, I can tell you this is not a battle you can win. Bite the bullet and buy more diapers (not pull-ups, real diapers, they're cheaper). Put him back in diapers and don't ask him to go potty or suggest it or anything. Make it a non-issue so that he is getting absolutely no attention for it.
The only time that we ever mentioned potty was when he asked for Nintendo. His older sister got to play, and he wanted to. We just told him, "Nintendo is a big kid activity." And occaisionally would include "big kids go potty and wear underwear". This is the only time we mentioned it - when he asked for Nintendo. For a couple of months, he even decided he didn't want to play Nintendo (this is how stubborn he was about the potty issue), and we didn't push the issue.
Finally, a couple of months after he turned 4, we could tell he was interested in Nintendo, and we suggested he try the potty again. I think he said no at first, and we dropped it for a week or so, but when he was so interested in the Nintendo we suggested it again, a little more strongly. When he decided he was ready, he was potty trained, both day and night, in about a week. Very few accidents, ever. We just had to wait until he was ready, both physically and emotionally.
Be prepared to deal with (well meaning but misguided) comments about how he should be trained by now. Just ignore them (if its not family or close friends) or politely tell them that you're doing what is best for your son right now, and there is no worry about him going to kindergarten in diapers. I wouldn't worry about the preschools yet. I'd bet that, by September, he'll have decided to go potty. If not, there are preschools who are willing to work with this (check with Utah Valley University and BYU's child development programs, they might have a "lab school" preschool, and they usually understand that some kids are not potty trained yet. Anyway, that's what the UofU does, but I know that's a long way from you). And seeing other kids go potty might help him make the decision.
Does he NEED to go to preschool this fall? My son started preschool in January because potty training took so long. He was very stubborn and I got so frustrated. But one day he just decided on his own to use the toilet and has done it ever since. We were only able to find one preschool with an opening that semester, but it turned out to be a great preschool. I also just found out about a free online preschool that the state offers. http://utahupstart.org/
Maybe you're on the right track about sending him to someone else for potty training. My sister had been working on potty training for a while with her youngest. Her kids stayed with her mother-in-law while she was out of town for a couple days. Her mother-in-law was able to get the youngest potty trained in that one weekend. One time a neighbor girl came to our house to play and she used the toilet on her own no problem. Her confidence seemed to be a motivator for one of my kids. Good luck!
I would definitely buy Lora Jensen's 3 day potty training program (it's an e-book). At this point, it may take him a little longer just because he's older and you've already been trying without much success. My son was also older, too, with no success and her method really worked. You can even log onto her help site and send her questions. It's a rough few days, but totally worth it. My son still has an accident once in awhile, but that's normal for some kids, especially when they are playing. But he doesn't wet the bed at night and he holds it for really long car rides. Here's the link:
I used the potty training in a day techniques (you can get the book used for a few dollars from Amazon or wherever) with my very hyper son. I did not do it as intensely as the book suggests (the only think you do for a whole day) but it had a lot of great ideas for showing your expectations and consistency and all that. In the end, my son decided one day that he was done with pull ups and had been fine since. You also have to consider, at some level, this is one of the very few things that kids have control over in their lives. Maybe take a step back and let him make the decision?
I'll happily dissent and say you need to back off altogether, with a caveat.
Let him know there are some things only "big kids" get to do: eat lollipos and grapes, go swimming, ride a bike, whatever suits your household; babies, OTOH eat baby food, take naps and don't get to do as many things, because they can't yet.
Tell him he's more than welcome to wear diapers like a baby or big boy pants. His choice. Say it once tomorrow morning. If he choses diapers, OK fine. He doesn't get to do any big boy things.
Then throughout the day when he asks for things that you've deemed 'big kid' things, when he asks for them, say no, it's for big kids and you're not one yet. Don't say a thing about potty training. Just that he's not a big kid yet, but you love him and you know someday he'll be a big kid. Trust me, he understands!
You need to make the desire to be fully trained intrinsic to him. He needs to want it because it's the right thing to do, not because he'll get some reward like candy or stickers. He's smarter than that.
My guess is, at his age, he'll come around within a week or so. If he doesn't, talk to your ped. GL!!!
It sounds like you are pushing to hard- you have to find a way to make it his idea not yours or he will not do it. Find something he wants and work with it. September is in a few months, so back of for a little while and try again. Are you able to take him anywhere where he is able to be around other kids who are potty trained?
