Potty Training - San Jacinto,CA

Good luck. My girlfriend had pooping trouble where her 3 year old would ask for a diaper or pullup when she had to poop or wait until nighttime. My 3 year old boy would hold it and when I knew he had to go after 3 days, I put a pullup on and he went, but it was uncomfortable for him, so that lasted about 3 times and went on the potty. All along, I also said he would get a big reward when he poops on the potty. The whole time, me nor my girlfriend ever pushed them. My son first started on the potty in August and was daytime "trained" sometime in June... so it took a long time. We celebrated with Dairy Queen after the first poop in the potty. Again, good luck.

My daughter was the SAME WAY and she did not poop in the potty for a SOLID YEAR after she was "peepee trained". It is a mental thing that he needs to work out himself. You can try little tricks like others have posted, but I had to be really careful, because my daughter was prone to constipation and she would withhold, causing worse problems. I just let her ask for a diaper, and when she was done pooping, she would ask to be changed. It was fine, because she would always ask before pooping, so she did not soil her panties. One day she just decided to do it (she had made several unsuccessful attempts and was very sad that she could not get over the mental "hump" as it were) and she never asked for a diaper again. It is probably just some weird fear that he has. Don't push it, but you do have to work out a system so he doesn't have brown undies all the time!

A.,

I know it's frustrating. My son was similar, although the not defecating in the toilet went on for at least several months. Stay at it, try to stay patient. If your boy still hasn't pooped in the toilet in 6 months, talk to your pediatrician. Just FYI- I KNEW my son was scared to go in the toilet for some reason. He started not going anywhere, so the pediatrician put him on a maximum laxative for his body size so his body would not get impacted. He had never been constipated before. In three days- he looked like he needed to void and was at my mom in law's house. She picked him up and put him on the toilet. He voided and said "It didn't hurt", and used the toilet 100% of the time without any accidents after that.

A.,

This is not an uncommon challenge when potty-training. Hiding and pooping allows kids to avoid prolonged interruption in their play.

First, tell your son that you know it takes a little longer to poop on the potty - assure him this is true for everyone. Let him know that from now on, if he doesn't use the toilet, he will be responsible for cleaning himself up, flushing the contents of his pants into the toilet, and wrapping up his clothes, and depositing them where they need to go for cleaning. If he needs to be bathed, be sure to give him a cursory, luke-warm shower (no lovey, sudsy, playful bath). Follow-up in the next few days with a "magic phone call." Call your own phone inviting your child to a fictious playdate. Tell the caller that you would love to come, but your little guy has not quite mastered pooping in the potty, and you fear there will be an accident that is too difficult to deal with away from home. Request that he be invited again, as you think he will have this challenge mastered soon.

Be sure that all of your direction, conversation and actions are delivered in a matter-of-fact, non-punitive way.

Good luck,
C.

Hi A.,
I have an on-line potty training book that you could read. Just shoot me an email at ____@____.com and I will send it to you.

Good luck!
M.

My son had the same issue and we NEVER disciplined him for it. We found something he loved and made a huge deal of going on the potty then giving him his surprise and it got us over the hump. Kids are used to having bowel movements standing up and now we make them sit which is a totally new method regarding use of their core muscles. Our son tried so hard and couldn't then one day he tried so hard to go on the potty and he finally asked for a diaper. Once his bowel movement started we quickly went to the potty and he finished there. I would not assume your son is choosing not to go on the potty. He might be having trouble. We never disciplined him for it. The only time we disciplined him was when he willfully urinated on the floor because he thought it was funny! Most of all just be patient and I agree with the other mom, use a pull up if he is with someone else and don't worry about it.

Oh yeah, I was you a year ago. Sure you can leave him with someone else, he wears pull-ups during those hours. That is why they made pull-ups, for little guys like yours who are in this in-between stage. He won't go back to peeing in the pull-up. You just explain to him why he is wearing a pull-up while Mommy is away for a few hours. What it came down to with my son is that he wasn't ready. NOTHING we did worked until he was ready. He was peeing in the potty for the longest time before the pooping worked itself out. Negative feedback to him never ever worked. What did was buying him fine new Diego underpants he coveted and hanging them on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. He pooped to get those. And kept using the potty to poop to get star stickers on the chart we hung on the bathroom door - 5 stars got him an inexpensive Buzz Lightyear. And when he regressed, Buzz went onto a shelf in the bathroom to wait for the next time he pooped in the potty. A couple of weeks ago we were talking about his 1 year old brother and diapers, and I asked him if he liked getting his diaper changed when he was younger, if getting all cleaned up felt good, and he said yes, sort of wistfully. It is a hard transition ;)

Hi, Your son is smarter than you give him credit for. If he is able to pee in the potty ,then he can poop there too. I had this same problem ,for a few weeks, where my son would only poop in his diaper or in his underpants and then say" Mommy change me."Best advice I got was from my aunt, who potty trained both her sons 18 yrs ago, she had help from her Doc when one of them refused to poop in the potty. He said "tell your son that you do not like to clean up his stinky poopy messes, that big boys go poop on the potty and next time he poops in his pants or anywhere other than the potty, he will have to clean his OWN tooshy!!"My son did it once after we gave him "The Talk", so I stuck him in the shower and supervised as he took off his diaper and attempted to wipe himself. He HATED IT!! So, I helped him with the rest of it and told him poop only goes in the potty!! I know it sounds a little harsh, but it can be done gently and IT WORKS!!!

Hope this helps!! A.

Show your son that it is okay to poop in the toilet. When he goes poop in his pull up or underwear get it and throw it in the toilet and let him see you flush it and show him that this is where your poop goes. Give him a treat or start a sticker calendar and let him choose a sticker if he goes poop in the potty make it interesting til he feels comfortable. Good Luck

Hi A., the best advice i can give you is discipline. You mentioned the word won't, which means he's choosing to not do what you tell him, when children do this, and there is no consiquence for the action, some think that it is OK, and other children will do it even though they no its wrong, but sense there is no consiquences they do it anyway, At 3 that is way old enough to know where to go to use the bathroom, they certainly know where to go to get a cookie.
Come up with some type of reward and discipline, that;s how I trained mine and that is how I train my daycare kids, but i do it before they are 2, cause the longer they do something the worse of a habit it becomes. Good luck, you can do it. J.