Potty Training #2 - New Ulm,MN

Maybe you should give him 5-6 prunes a day or raisins (kids like them) and see if that helps soften up his poop, and helps him go. Good luck.

OMG, I could write a book on this one T.. I had quite the time getting my oldest (now 5) to go poop in the potty. I thought I was on a candid camera type show...that there were hidded cameras in my house and the rest of the world watching on their TVs.

Here is what I learned. Stop trying to get him to go poop in the potty. You are right....if they start to associated pain with pooping then they have 2 "fears" to over come. It is just not worth the damage that can be done. My little guy was around 3 when he was completely "wet" trained and was close to 3 1/2 before he would poop in the potty. BUT our problems with pooping in the potty started long before 3.

We first started training, he didn't want to poop in the potty we would put back on his trining pants, he would poop, we would clean up, flush the poop in the potty, wash hands, put back on his underware and go back to play. We got along just happy that way, but there was no forward progress and I wanted to start removing myself from the process as well as give him some little successes and times to feel proud of himself. So I started moving him towards this by telling him that he had to poop in the bathroom (because that is where we go to the bathroom) so when he was ready, I would put his training pants on and he would go in the bathroom and tell me when he was done. Once he did that on his own for a week or two we moved another step closer ~ he would put on his training pants and actually sit on the potty and poop in his training pants then tell me when he was done. I am sure this sounds crazy, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do and I really wanted him to not feel bad about the whole situation because that wouldn't help anything.

Eventually (over a couple of months) he would do the entire process by himself (didn't even tell me) - go up to his room, get the training pants on, go in and sit on the potty, poop in his training pants, take them off, flush the poop, throw the training pants in the garbage, wash his hands, get dressed and come back to play. Our peditiricain had no ideas for me....but was amazed that he could do all that by himself and not make a bigger mess.

So what actually got him to poop right into the potty????? He was on 2 midications for Croup and a double Ear Infection and got terrible diarrhea. So, all that planning and careful parenting and we just got "lucky"....I have never been so happy for a child to have diarrhea!!!

Good luck, I know it is terrible frusterating but you really have no control over it. So I would say, let it go, tell him it is just great if he poops in his training pants for now and you know that someday soon he will go in the potty. I have a girlfriend whos daughter is in the 4th grade and still has to take a daily laxitive because of physical problems created from holding the poop in and not going. Her mom feels very guilty that she helped create this problem for her daughter by pushing way to hard.

I just went thru the same situation. I had to be patient. I sat him down and explained to him that it was okay to poop in a diaper still. So if he needed to go ask me for a diaper. I stopped making a big deal about the whole situation and out of the blue he just started going on the toilet. They pee/poopy train at their own place. I agree it is very frustrating though. We also told him that when he did go in the potty we would go to chuck e cheese and he would get a present for being a good boy. Bribary sometimes work well. Once he goes a time or two in the toilet he will overcome the fear of going. Good luck!

I had a similar problem with my son when he was 3 years old. He would hold it at pre-school, until he became constipated, and would end up with stomach pains, and it hurt him to go when he finally did. I had called my Mom and aske her for some advice. She said when she worked in the hospital, they would give small kids who were constipated, prune juice mixed with sprite. The sprite makes it taste better, they thought it was dr.pepper. then with the stool being softened, they would go easier, cause at some point, couldn't hold it anymore. He was completely aware and would have no accidents, he just simply wouldn't go #2 at school. It finally got to the point where we had to sit down and talk to him about what he was doing, cause he was 4 years old and still doing this. We had to explain to him that there was nothing wrong with him, cause there wasn't and told him he was going to sit there everday after dinner until he went. The first time was a struggle cause I felt like we were being too hard on him and that it would have a negative affect. Well, the first time he sat there for like 30 minutes, missing his favorite cartoon show we'd let him watch after dinner, and that was all it took. He started going everyday after school, and that was that. It was hard on what to decide what to do though cause all kids are different. Some are more sensitive than others, other are more emotional, But I hope this helps.

There's a book called "It hurts when I Poop" that you could try. I know Amazon has it.

My daughter did the same thing for quite a while. We used miralax for 6 weeks every other day. It made her stools loose enough thst it was difficult to force it back in. After that she realized that it was easier to poop in the potty. It was less messy that way. A lot of times they just don't want to take the time or they don't want to be in bathroom for a long time by themselves. Once you get him over the pain association, he will go #2 just fine. Good luck

hello,
try putting a mild child laxative in his food every few days because that will not allow him to not go when the urge hits...if you are not comfortable using the laxatives, make him eat lots of high fiber foods like oatmeal, and apples...he won't be able to hold it and with the fiber, it should make poop time, easy...and after the first few times of pooping, he won't think it hurts.

We just went through this with our son. I didn't think it would ever end. I would get very concerned about not pooping. Its a very important bodily function.
Make sure he gets enough fiber and water. I avoided milk for awhile. Just offer juice, water, raisins, whole grains, fruits and veg. along with your regular foods. Even chocolate is great. I would give him an m&m every time he TRIED to poop. I wrapped a bunch of cheap "poop presents". He got one every time he pooped in the toilet. It was really hit or miss, and we spent alot of time at home, because I didn't want to put a pull-up on him.
Finally, one day, last week, he pooped alot and we had a poop party with cake and ice-cream and candles. We even sang Happy Poop Day to You! He loved it and has been doing great ever since.
Good Luck!! I hope you let us know how well he is doing very soon.
Oh Yeah, I prayed a lot too!!

Ask dr sears Web site is a great place to get advice. Sears has NEVER failed me.
Good luck,
J.

I had a similar problem with my now 3 1/2 year old. Our pediatrician recommended we use Miralax, an over-the-counter medicine that you mix into a liquid (we used pink lemonade). It doesn't make him go, it just adds more water to the stool to make it easier for him to go. If it makes you feel any better, this is an EXTREMELY common problem, as I found out :) It really made a difference for my child.

Even if you have to put him back in the pullups, don't let him hold it in. It can affect him forever. My older son was like that and he never learned to do it right and now only goes once a week or worse. I've read to let them do it in the pullup but standing in the bathroom, then eventually move them to sitting on the potty wearing one, then holding one, then none. Unfortunately with my youngest he goes and hides so i never know til it's too late. We are having the poopy problem too. He's fine with the pee, but the underpants are going in the trash left and right.

Since he's not yet three, can you put him in pull ups for a while yet, and just wait on the poopy training? I guess I'd be more worried if he was 3 1/2 or approaching four...we tried potty training my son young, but he was in daycare and it would have resulted in lots of accidents for them to clean up. When he actually trained, he pee trained in a week at grandma's over Christmas (2 1/2) and poop trained in grandma's week at our house (gee, who has more patience with him???) when he was almost 3. But...I've always thought we were pretty lucky; it was easy for us, esp w/ grandma. And, while he was pee trained and not poop, we just wore pull ups and encouraged him to regularly use the potty to pee. Also, he had fairly regular times for pooping, so we made sure he was in a pull up at those times so he could relax and go. Good luck!

I had a friend who went through this with her daughter, though she wasn't holding back so much. What they did was to put a basket of pull-ups in the bathroom, and her daughter knew that when she had to poop, she could go into the bathroom, take off her underpants, put the pull-up on, poop in that, take it off, put it in the garbage, and put her underpants back on. There was no judgment in it, nothing like "you're not big enough to poop in the potty so you have to do this instead." They just told her that if she didn't want to poop in the potty, she could do that instead. And for a few weeks, she did. Then she pretty much figured out that it was a heck of a lot of work and agreed to try pooping in the potty, and it was pretty easy from there.

I'm sorry your little guy has had such a hard time, and it's upsetting when they actually get to the point of being afraid to poop because of the pain. If he's still afraid to poop at all because of his recent constipation, you might need to deal with that first (with fiber and liquids, as suggested), but then the pull-up trick might help. Good luck!

T.,

I see you've had some other good advice to try and I would try some of those options first if you can, but there is another option if those don't work.

My son dealt with this problem for MONTHS. Same as your son, pretty much potty trained but holding in his poop till it hurt, then sobbing in pain when he finally went. He would even refuse to pee on the potty because he knew it would make him have to poop. I tried the whole grain, fruit and no milk diet, which only helped a little in my son's case. Eventually his DR. recommended Miralax, a very mild laxative that I could mix in his juice once a day.

Miralax doesn't give him the runs or anything, but it did make him incapable of holding his poop in so long, so he wasn't constipated anymore and he began to poop without pain. It took a few weeks for everything to come together, for him to realize pooping didn't hurt anymore, but then, WHAM, everything clicked. I suddenly have a bunch of pull ups I have no use for! I did do as some of the other parents suggested and made a big deal out of successful potty pooping. For my son, he got an M&M for going pee, but he gets a whole sucker for a poop, even a tiny poop.

I know what a nightmare this situation can be! You can buy Miralax in stores with no prescription also. I'm now weaning him back off of the Miralax now and having no problems.

Good luck to you both!

S.

My co worker was just talking about this. Her daughter had a hard time going poop in the toilet also.
Her dr. recommended the 'poopy party' thing... flush something (toilet paper or somthing that won't ruin the toilet) and then RUN with your little one down stairs (assuming you have a basement that you can see the pipes) and tell them that there's a party in the pipes that the poopy wants to go to and they have cake and they sing.. (and sing some poopy party song) and make a big deal about how fun it is for the poop. She did this a few times and soon her daugter was dragging her downstairs to see the pipes:)
Hope the helps:)