Potty Training - Hollywood,FL

OK, I have written your posts before! And here is the answer ... it sucks but moms (on this board) said this to me and I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR IT (or read it) ... give him time, it will come ... GRRRRRRR I know. My son is 4 with ADHD, we refused to medicate him no antipshycotics (sp) for a 4yr old thank you. And well one day in mid Jan he decided he was ready and about two weeks later he is now pooping and peeing in the potty ON HIS OWN! He no longer needs our reminders or wants them for that matter. When we took things away it just made his self esteem get LOWER and kids with ADHD do not need that going on they need to be uplifted ... we did stickers and a colorful sheet of paper on the bathroom wall he had to get so many stickers and he got a "mailbox prize" now he does not even care about those things anymore! Pull back on the pressure, pull back on the reminders and show him how to clean himself up ... those three things with my anti potty training frequency of urination severe ADHD, sensory processing disorder, speech delayed son and I am almost confident enough to say he is potty trained ... a day I NEVER thought would come. If you want/need to hear more about our struggles and triumphs you are welcome to pm me we have been thru some crazy things here. So no, you are NOT alone!

Two primary reflexes that need to be integrated before toileting can become automatic. One is Spinal Galant and the other Spinal Pereze.

Could be the drugs you put him on. Look at the contrindications for the drug, and take it seriously.
Digestion effects behaviour- check his diet-WestonPrice's Nourshing Traditions is a good one- also if you follow Feingold- 25 yrs of experience-you will see a huge difference in behaviour.
And please cut out the contecting rewards w/ a bodily function- you will raise a nutty kid- poop for toys, my goodness.
It is diet, really diet, no sugar, diet, pls.
best, k

Wow! First I want to tell you you are not alone and I know how hard this must be for you.
The first thing I would ask is there any other issue going on here? Is he afraid to poop b/c it hurts? Is he withholding poop? this is the issue I had with my son at about 3 years old. he had no issues going pee but lots of issues going poop! Luckily I found an email group of moms out there experiencing the same issues and got lots of great advice. I am thinking some of the behavoir modification techniques I used may be helpful. but just so you know the medical term for what my son had was encopresis and he "couldn't help" his poop accidents b/c he held the poop in until he no longer could feel that he needed to go and the body just made it come out.....but that is a diff story.

So... we let him poop in his diapers , but told him that "pooping happens in the bathroom." If he asked for a diaper or I saw that he was about to poop (sometimes he hid) I would gently move him to the bathroom and tell him that is where we poop, I usually had to stay with him. I also made him practice sitting on potty. just sitting fully clothed. The potty sitting we practiced 2x a day! Sometime we read a book sometimes we blew up a balloon, blew bubbles.. always he got a special treat for doing it - like gum or m& m's. This treat was ONLY given after he sat on potty for 5 minutes or so. This potty sitting was to get him used to being on the potty an relaxing. Eventually I made him sit on potty to poop in his diaper. I know it sounds wierd, but before he always pooped standing up so this way he got used to sitting but didn't have to give up diaper. then after that we had him sit with diaper with pants down and eventually to no diaper. It by no means happened right away it tooks months! keep at it! We read the book "everyone poops" we watched potty videos, and we talked about school which was my goal and he couldn't go to preschool unless he could poop on potty. It felt like my life revolved around his poop, and boy did it for awile. he once held his poop in for 7 days we had to go to er and they gave him an ADULT sized enema which he managed to hold in for 5 minutes before the poop came out. after that he was put on stool softeners for a full year while we did the behavior modification... And we had to be really careful not to make him feel "bad" to make him understand that pooping was just what the body did, it was natural and normal etc...
If you have any questions let me know.. Again good luck!!!

Wow. Sounds like a heavy-duty power struggle is going on here.

I know this is not the usual thinking, but try to consider 'going potty' as your son's challenge to master, not something you need to make him do. From reading your posts, it sounds like your son is under a lot of pressure from the adults to use the toilet. Santa's toys have been made contingent upon this, and then taken away, which must feel totally disempowering and discouraging to your son. ("I must be bad if Santa took away the gifts." is what he's likely thinking.) These are all big no-confidence votes to a kid.

I've been helping children learn to use the toilet for nearly 20 years, as a professional nanny, toddler-age and preschool teacher. I'll share a website with you that I think will really help:

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile....

The primary philosophy of toilet learning is to make this HIS process, not yours. I would scoot away from punishments and rewards, and just give accurate feedback. With his ADHD, he will also need a lot of help getting to the toilet. Don't ask him 'if' he needs to go, but do tell him every so often "It's time to go to the toilet now". Find a way for him to separate from what he's doing, and make sure he gets into the bathroom. At this age, it's tempting for us to tell them to go potty and just expect them to follow-through, but they still need us to help them. I find playful invitiations helpful too. If he's playing with a train, "Let's be trains and chugga-choo-choo to the bathroom now" can help. It becomes an extension of his play instead of conflicting with it. A little imagination can make a lot of these transitions a bit easier for everyone.

And no, you aren't alone and you aren't losing your mind. I worked with families whose very typical children had issues such as these. Two concrete things that helped were 1. observing and recording what time of day the child was having 'poop accidents' and 2. using their body's schedules to put them on the toilet a bit earlier than when the accidents happened.

I also made sure that when accidents happened, that they didn't become solely my problem. I expect children to help clean up. If it's pee, I expect them to change their own clothes in the bathroom and to make their clothes laundry-room ready by putting them in a plastic bag. If it's poop, they need more help (children should not be handling feces), but I also had the child help me by staying with me, having them open doors for me, hold bags open, etc.

Give positive feedback when its warrated, and realistic feedback when accidents happen. "I see you pooped in your pants because you didn't want to stop playing. We'll have to take a break and go potty earlier next time."

Hang in there-- you aren't the only one, but I know-- there are times when I thought toileting a child was the most thankless task in the world.:)

H.

Keep your head up! Your not a terrible mother babe. Every child is different, but are the suggestions working at all?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Potty-Training-Tips-For-Stubbor...

http://www.livestrong.com/article/72084-potty-training-ti...

Here's some articles I thought MAY help. I've been reading a lot of potty training stuff for my little one. Someone said (I think it's in the 2nd article too) that punishing (taking away the toys) makes em associate the potty process negatively and rewarding turns it into a game. I can't give much more than what I've heard and read, sorry.. but I hope the article helps.
Good luck hun:)

Thank you for writing this I thought I was alone. My son is 4 he will be 5 in Sept. and he too is not potty trained. He has a severe language delay and has some sensory issues. He is gettting the concept of potty training slowly. He won't tell me when he has to go but I can always tell and when I take him he goes. The problem is when I don't see him fidget. He still is not to the point where he will go on his own.