Potty Trainin - York,PA

Wow, 5-6 times a day is a lot of poopin! Poop training is just the most frustrating. She will eventually just do it and you will make such a big deal and it will be worth the effort. Just keep it positive and maybe offer a huge reward if she does go on the potty, that is what finally worked for my son.

J.,
You're not doing anything wrong! Poop potty training seems to come after pee for most kids. The first time my son "officially" pooped in the potty, it was b/c I "caught him" in action, popped him on the toilet and...uh....knocked to poop off his bum into the water! Then we all made a super huge deal out of it (Sang 'He's a Super Dooper Pooper' to the tune of "Glory, Glory Hallelujah' and marched all around the house singing it!). He cracked up and the pooping on the toilet seemed to click.
Sounds like she poops a lot--and that could be good b/c you've got lots of chances per day to get her on the pot! If you can sense a schedule or impending poop, try to get her to sit on the potty & watch tv, read, etc so she gets her mind off of the fact that she's on the potty.....when kids relax, they'll go easier.
Good luck. Don't beat yourself up. Hang in there. She'll get it. (And when she does, you'll REALLY be singing Glory Glory Hallelujah!)

Kids love different things. For my daughter it was stickers. A chart in the bathroom and a little pack of stickers was the trick! One on the chart and one for her hand - it also worked for her daughter!
Don't do candy! Several people I know used M&M's and their children were on the potty every 15 minutes!
Good luck!

J.,
I'm sorry you are going through this. My son had chronic constipation/encopresis when he was younger. I know how frustration and absolutely maddening this can be! Try to relax and move forward instead of focusing on the things that haven't worked.

My advice to you is to talk to her doctor. If chronic constipation is causing her problems he or she will be able to help. If your daughter has encopresis she no longer has control of her bowels and may not even feel it when she needs to go. This situation can be very rough on the entire family. The good news is that with treatment it can and does get better. My son is eleven now and aside from the occasional "skid mark" I can't remember the last time he pooped his pants.

If there isn't a medical problem you might want to back off and put her in Pull-ups for a while again. Maybe she isn't ready. This isn't a race or a competition. I know that might sound crazy, but it is very important that you not let this become a negative experience for her. She shouldn't feel bad about herself (and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself) because she isn't a good pooper. If you are crying and emotional about it, it is bound to become a bad experience for her- just back off until you are both ready to try again. Eventually she will use the toilet.

Good-luck,
K. L.

I feel your pain! I too had that problem with my son. He was pee trained when he was 34 months but poop was another issue. It's been an ongoing problem but things are slowly getting better (he's now 3 and 7 months). To get him to poop in the potty in the beginning I let him run around with a bare bottom. He pooped twice on the floor and then pooped in the potty after that. Since then he has frequent relapses and we've resorted to sticker charts (he's getting a bit too old for running around naked - he'll just put his pants back on!) and when he gets x number stickers he gets a little gift. Usually that does it for a while and then he suddenly poops in his pants again. I just keep doing sticker charts over and over again and the "relapses" are getting less frequent. One thing to note is when I react he does it more. I try really hard to act nonchalant and like it's his problem and I'm just helping him with it. I also get him to clean up what he can (I don't do this angrily, I just say "OK, go to the bathroom and clean it up" and then go in and help him after he's done his best job. I wish you luck, I know it's frustrating!

Hi J., if your daughter has the pee thing down pat then it's time to get strict with the poo. She is old enough to understand what you want her to do and to do it. She is being quietly stubborn and you need to take control. Tell her first thing in the morning that she either goes in the potty like the big girl that she is or _______ (fill in the blank with your form of effective disapline) and stick to it. My middle one was terriable about potty training when she first started (at age 3) she thought going to the bathroom was a big waste of her valuable time. It only took a couple of serious time outs for her to understand that I ment business and wasn't changing any more poopy anythings! In a couple of days we were done and she never had an accident after! Best wishes.

Hi J.,
There is a condition called Encopresis that you might want to read about. I read about it in Brain, Child Magazine (brainchildmag.com), which is so so good! Encopresis is a disorder related to constipation, but it involves frequent involuntary pooping. It's embarrassing and gross, so mainstream parenting magazines don't talk about it, and even lots of pediatricians don't know about it. BUT, it's completely treatable. I found this link by googling: http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/growt....
Good luck,
K.

I read the other 2 responses, before responding and could not agree more. I love Denise's idea of the song. We had a different version, but it reminded me of those days. Anyway, whenever my son would poop in his underwear, we would go into the bathroom and put the poop in the toilet, sit him on the toilet to see if there was more and then remind him that "this is where poop goes". If he pooped more, we would do the "poopie song" too. She'll get it, it just takes time.

I had the same issue with my daughter. Then recently she chewed up and swallowed a flashlight bulb, so we took her to the ER where they x-rayed her abdomen and discovered she was severely constipated. This was most likely because I would get so upset at her for pooping her pants that she would just hold it until it hurt, then let out a little bit (in her underpants) just so she wouldn't explode. They put her on laxatives (which was a disasteros mess- I thought I was tired of cleaning poopie underwear before that happened, now I was steam cleaning the carpets twice a day). Anyway- back to the point-
I started putting her on the toilet and sitting next to her. I suggested "hey- how about you try to push some poopies out. If you try I will let you have some jelly beans". Every time she would push or grunt I would jump up and start to sing and dance. It became a game and she eventually ended up going. A lot! Then we celebrated and called daddy at work to tell him. Now she gets excited about poopies on the potty and has not had any accidents since, and doesn't need laxatives anymore. I sitll have to sit with her and "suggest" that she try to push, and call daddy afterward, but it's a start in the right direction. Good luck to you, I am sure she is just right around the corner from figuring it out. hang in there!

Just wanted to let you know you are in good company here too. My son has been peeing on the potty for a month and a half and refuses to sit and poop. He'll go off on his own and sure enough when he returns he has pooped his pant. I take him into the bathroom, dump the poop in the potty and remind him that poop goes in the potty. Even when I try to head it off he'll sit there and do nothing, and then when I let him off he'll go poop his pants. So far he could care less, its very frustrating and I too am tired of cleaning poopy underwear! My daughter was the exact opposite and I find it so strange to be dealing with this, although I have learned it is very common. Good luck and please update later if you have any success.

Just wanted to let you know I'm there with you right now with my daughter who just turned 3. Peeing, no problem. Pooping, however....yeah, I'm cleaning underwear too! Personally I'm just hoping one day it will click, just like the peeing. :)