Potty Regression

Updated on February 27, 2008
C.F. asks from Solana Beach, CA
8 answers

I'm hoping you all might have some good ideas on how to deal with my 2 year old's (33 months) recent potty-training regression. He potty-trained pretty early about 5 months ago and all seemed fine - hardly any accidents, just a few pee ones at the beginning. Then last month he has out of the blue started having accidents - sometimes up to 4 times a day. He won't tell me he has to go - he'll just tell me after the fact. Things took a turn for the worse last week when he even started to poop his pants too - no fun. I've tried rewards with a sticker chart, little treats for using the potty, which he enjoys getting when he does it right, but don't seem enough to motivate him to stop going in his pants.
We did have another baby in October, but he seemed to take having a new baby brother in stride. Also, that was 4 months ago - could it still be a delayed reaction to that?
Anyway, any thoughts you might have on how to deal with it would be great - I'm getting frustrated but don't want to put him back in diapers!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses! Very helpful for me to get that perspective that it's normal, OK, and not get into a power struggle over something that will change when he's ready. Today I was able to very calmly help him out of his wet clothes after an accident, take a deep breath, and try to be Zen mom about it. : )

More Answers

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A.N.

answers from San Diego on

Since the baby came and then this regression started? You can't discount it.
Try letting him know how glad you are he is a big boy now and even how nasty and stinky the baby is for doing it - really!
The baby won't know or care!
He will see you play and coo to the baby when you change it so make sure he gets this bonding with you also at certain special times? Explain why it's different for him.
You don't want him to join in for the attention it gets him! It's natural that he doesn't want to bother, you persevere with the treats etc and every time he uses the potty praise him lots and when things don't work out ... change him in silence.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

Unfortunately this is perfectly normal and common. He can be doin it for attention, to spite you, or for health reasons. Sometimes they grow faster than there bladders and when they were able to hold it for a longer period of time is now a shorter period and they have an accident. This happened to my daughter with night time pottying. She didn't wet the bed for about 8 months, then she started wetting the bed every night. No matter what I did, or how many threats, or what have you, it didn't help. Only time did, she is now bed wetting free! Be patient, start rewarding for good potty days, don't give too much negative attention with the accident, because remember negative attention is still attention! The key thing is be consistent. Hang in there, this too will pass before another stage comes along:-)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Reno on

It may very well be that he began potty training too early and before he was ready. Boys also have a more difficult time with muscle control at a younger age. If he is getting reprimanded for accidents or a lot attention being brought to them, that could be why he isn't telling you.
My son was the same way, he started out good but not perfect but his dad pushed and punished him about going. This resulted in potty training resistance at the age of 3 1/2 when we knew he was physically ready, he wouldn't do it.
It is one of the few things we can't control and the more you push, the more likely he is to become resistant.
We were given great advice from the pediatrician on resistance and it wasn't until dad reluctantly began to follow Doc's advice that he potty trained for real. Afterwards, he's never had an accident of any kind including bed wetting. He's 12 now.
The information at this link is very similiar to the hand out our pediatrician gave us 9 years ago.
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/potty_train...
Good luck!

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V.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Definitely could be because of the new baby. It seems your toddler has stepped back in his psychological progression. This commonly happens when a young child is unhappy in his living situation. He is no longer the only attention-receiver in your family and is trying to adjust to it so he is reverting back to a time in his life that was safer and more comfortable, i.e., before the baby. It happens frequently. Nurture him, encourage him just as when you were first teaching him to be potty trained and remind him he is just as important as his little brother by giving him 'big brother' responsibilities.

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R.S.

answers from Honolulu on

We just let ours run around naked and kept a potty in every room and the car. Cheerios can work for targets if you are teaching him to stand and pee. Mine like to run outside and pick a tree or a bush. It made it fun and then they got into doing it. Soon they were trained and we'd say "just run in the bathroom and go" and it worked. They were all trained before 2.

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H.C.

answers from San Diego on

Your child's brain is apparently growing toward other interests at this age, C.. Don't expect too much too soon! If he has a mentor....for instance, with the idea that you take him to the bathroom with you or get him his own potty at the same time...he'll get the 'message' through sound, sight and sense of smell. He needs your example!

When he has what you consider an 'accident', take his diaper down and set him on the potty. Say "poop here!" Do not attach anger with this process; sets a precident for your other offspring, as well. Consult a mother or mother-in-law as well as your baby's doctor for other options.

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C.R.

answers from Honolulu on

Hey C.,

"Congrats" to you with your three wonderful boys. Anyway, I was reading over your potty regression and you poor thing wondering why he's not going to the bathroom (which he was doing before) is kind of strange. Especially when 5 months ago he was doing fine. Well I don't really have the best advice for you, but I feel you. I have a son, and he was doing that to me too, after I thought he had gotten it down, couple months later he goes back and starts peeing and pooping in his undies. What I did was just tell him over and over was "oh ok you're not a big boy anymore." And for some reason he didn't want to a baby, he wanted to do big boy stuffs so in less than a month it went back to normal. You are doing great with the rewards, keep that up. At first I was thinking the same... 'maybe its the new baby in the house.' But that could be a factor, maybe the attention is there with other baby and he sees that often, I say a lot of encouragement and consistency, but mom sounds like you got that all under control. I hope everything works out fine, if its not any trouble it would be great to hear the ending results. Thanks A Concerned mom.

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L.H.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Good morning C.,
Guess what mama, what you want and what you son does will not always mesh together. Here's my favorite word: Surrender! Now take that well deserved deep breath and take a few steps back so you can not be frustrated with you sons process. He need your loving calm support as he makes his way toward his next developmental stage. With my three each experience has been different. There's a video that helped my son's: It's Potty Time, but boys take a bit longer and rushing them gives them a message that will not help them in the future. Good Luck and try to relax back into the mommy that can calmly and lovingly help her son go toward his future.

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