My four year old(in April) has been "potty trained" for well over a year. I put the term in quotes because despite this fact we continue to go through phases where he has anywhere from 1-3 accidents a day. He just doesn't care. I know he knows when he has to go because he will go a week or more with no accidents. We have tried everything: Making him go every hour(he will sometimes stand there and refuse to go and then pee his pants 5 minutes later), having him help clean up his mess, rewarding him with for going on the potty consistently, taking away things for having accidents(I know it sounds mean but he is really just doing it because he doesn't want to stop what he is playing to go potty). Has anyone been through this and used any method that worked. I'm at my wits end!
My niece had a similar problem. Every time she had an accident - they took away a favorite toy. When she went a whole day without an accident - she got it back. Sounds harsh but it worked. After about a week of loosing toys - she stopped having accidents. Good luck!!
my daughter was like that too. what i did was use a sticker chart and it worked like a charm! you can print out a chart online for free and then goto the local dollar store and get stickers. i would reward my daughter after getting 7 stickers on her chart with a special treat box she got to pick something out of (dollar store candies and toys). it took my 3 year old 2 weeks before she went on her own durring the day then i just forgot to put the chart up again and she hasnt asked for it... we havent started night training yet.
How about you put him in pull ups and stop trying for awhile. He won't be going of to collage in diapers. Eventually he'll get it. Maybe it'll take some negative peer pressure to get him to see the light. Some kids just take longer than others.
I disagree with posts about giving him a time out or putting him back in pull-ups. I think it sends the wrong message (that the potty is a negative thing or that it's OK to be back in diapers). I would talk to your pediatrician about it. I saw a post on another message where every time the child had an accident, he had to clean it up himself. Also, I dont know if your son is in preschool but sometimes the peer pressure or "shame" in having accidents can cure this problem too. Good luck and I feel your pain!
have you tried keeping him in his wet clothes? When I was training my 18 month old, I asked him if he had to go potty. He said no. I then said I'm going to cook breakfast, so if you go in your pants, you'll have to wait until I'm done before I get a chance to change you. He said he didn't have to go. 3 minutes later, he told me he's wet. I had him in long tight pj pants with sock and an old pair of gym shoes (just incase). So I looked at him and sure enough he had peed in his pants. I told him he'd have to wait and he just stood there for 10 minutes and didn't move a muscle. That was the very last time he peed in his pants.
maybe put him in time out in the bathroom? maybe he will learn that it only takes him a minute to do his business, but it takes him 5 minutes (or however long you deem appropriate) if he has an "accident"... ?
This only happened to me when I had a baby and my older son wanted to be a baby too. Did you have a baby lately? I would still be up using regular underwear. I know it sucks to clean poopy underwear, but I remembered when they also did that too. I would remind them every hour if they need to go. If it went 2.5 hours I recommended to go to the bathroom and try until the accidents ceased. Also, bedtime accidents still occurred with my boys until age 8. After that they were good.
All of the suggestions definitely had merit, but I have to say that when a child is ready, he's ready. We didn't have the exact same situation as yours, but our child did go back and forth somewhat. Gradually, it got better. I did like the idea of having him do the strep test, and actually, consulting with his doctor might not be a bad idea. It is very, very frustrating and aggravating, but it really is just a stage that will, eventually, pass. Try to take it in stride (I wish that I had!!).
I think you should tell his pediatrician. My neice was doing the same thing and something was wrong with her...which is why the accidents were happening. And she also had times where she didn't have accidents. I don't know what exactly is wrong but I *think* it started from a urinary tract infection that went untreated. She is going to be 6 and still has issues. I don't mean to scare you in any way but maybe it's not his fault....the accidents I mean. Good luck!
Get a strep test. If he is potty trained and then has regressions it could be related to strep throat. Odd, I know. Ask for a 72 hour culture along with the rapid test (they can hold both swabs at once so he only has to deal with the discomfort the one time.)
My daughter has a strep-related autoimmune disorder that causes her brain-stem to swell and this was one of the earliest symptoms we saw in her and is very typical of this type of disorder. Catching it early is key. Basically when these kids are "sick:" they show no outward signs like sore throat, but will regress in other ways (baby talk, bed and day wetting) and it comes off looking like they are just in la-la land or misbehaving (or later, ADD)
I urge you to please have him tested. If this is the case then he is not getting the cues when he is sick that he has to potty! A 72 hour culture is the best indicator of whether this is the case. A rapid test will often give you a false negative, which is why you should do both. (IF the rapid comes up positive, then you know sooner and can start the antibiotics sooner.)
I hope this is not the case, but having the history we have, I couldn't stand by and not tell you. If you are interested in more info, I'm happy to help.
M.
