Postpartum Depression - Blacklick,OH

Relax! I went through exactly the same thing after having my first child.I had all of the same syptoms. I went back to my OB and she asked me a load of questions that were hard to swallow. Many of the questions involved whether or not I wanted to harm my son in one way or another. To me these were very difficult to answer. She put me on an antidepressant. My in-laws kept my son for a few days until I started to see results from the medication. I only had to take the medicine for a few months and then I felt confident that I was back to my normal self so I went off the medicine. Since then everything has been fine and I have no feelings of depression or desperation. It was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family. Good luck and remember you will get through this.

Hi J.,
I've been there and it is scary. You need to get help fast because this can only get worse. Please don't be afraid to accept the medication the OBGYN may offer you. I was afraid to take it too at first but trust me, the benefits certainly outweigh the risks. Most of the time, you can wean yourself off of it in only 6 months. I would see if they can get you in sooner. When you feel the way you do, days can seems like weeks and its agony. Hang in there. You WILL feel better. You'll be in my prayers.

As the other responses have said, it does sound like PPD. I have been there and I can completely understand your fears and concerns. However, think og it this way- if you devloped a post-partum infection that required anitbiotics, would you hesitate to take them? Depression is an illness that impacts the neurochemistry. Therapy can help, but to correct the neurochemical issue- medication is the treatment. There is no shame at all in getting the appropriate treatment for an illness. For your children's sake, I would recommend getting in touch with what mental health provider your insurance covers right away. Do not rely on your family doctor to treat this- please consider seeking help from a mental health professional. I know that it is hard to believe this right now, but with proper treatment, you will get better. Don't kid yourself though- it won't just "go away" or get better without proper treatment. Therapy, medication, even a support group all helped me. It took almost a year before I felt "normal" again, but within 3 years, I wanted another baby! God luck to you.
Good luck to you

OK- I have to add , after reading some other responses, another piece of info about PPD. This is a form of depression that is TRIGGERED by hormones, but hormones are not the root cause of depression. Therefore, if it is truly PPD, an organic mental illness with a specific neurochemical component, antidepressants will likely help. If the symptoms are abated through something like a hormone cream- then it is not actually PPD, but probably just a bad case of the "baby blues". There is a difference. This is why it is so important to be assessed by a mental health professional.
OK- I will get off of my soap box and I do hope that you find what you need to begin to enjoy life again.

Hi J.,

It indeed sounds like a postpartum depression. I think to remember that most of ppd has to do with hormones etc and I know it can easily be corrected with meds. And with ppd it is, like the previous writer mentioned, temporary.

I think you should ask your ob to see you sooner and I am positive if you accept the help that you will feel better very soon.

I too will keep you in my prayers.

S.

Hi J.~

After reading your post, it made me think back to when my son was born and all I went through with my PPD. Please make sure you tell your OB about this and they will have some suggestions for you. I didn't want to be on medicine either, and I didn't, but I look back and think that something might have helped me get through it a little better.

Congrats on the birth of your newest little one. Hang in there, as it does get better and not last forever!!

How old are you? If you're over 30, you should request the following tests. FSH, TSH, plus your levels of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. These will show if your hormone levels are off enough to be causing your symptoms. There are ways to treat it naturally, without being thrown onto an anti depressant. Plus, if your hormone levels are off, anti depressants won't help fix the underlying problem. Once you hit 30, a lot of women's hormone levels start dropping and can make you feel exactly like how you're explaining. It makes sense it was just after you had a baby because if your levels are out of whack, plus you're coming off of having all those pregnancy hormones, you'd be getting double hit.

J., Please call your doctor for help. It's not just about getting you on drugs....if this is depression this is not something that is your fault or anything that you can control. You and your family deserve better. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing when I had my daughter. I was so scared to ask for help, becuse I thought they would take her away from me. When I finally called my OB in tears, he explained how common it is and not to worry. I did take medicine for it and after a few days I was feeling much better. After a month I was back to my old self. I took them for about 3 months and it was the best decision I made. Don't feel bad about asking for help. Your family needs you too much to let this go any farther. Go to the Dr. today and tell them how much it is affecting you.

J.,

It definitely sounds like ppd. I didn't have the exact symptoms, but like you I had never had it with my other pregnancies, am normally upbeat/positive, etc. and could still "reason" with myself--but it didn't change the pain I felt.

I called it my mental migraine--feelings of anxiety and all that would come and go, though I did nothing differently. Eventually it stayed and I sought help (I couldn't even cook a meal or pack a lunch--showering, dressing, etc. made me anxious which I NEVER experienced anything of the sort before--I was never an anxious person at all).

Like you, I had no desire to go on medication. When the symptoms wouldn't go away, there was nothing I could do to "talk myself out of it." I got out, went for walks, kept myself busy, reached out, had tons of family/spouse support but that wasn't enough. I finally went on Paxil and for me, that made all the difference.

That said, there were some sort of "withdrawal symptoms" going off of Paxil--but I went cold turkey after 2 years instead of tapering off. A year later (3 years from the depression) I feel like myself without medication--happy and healthy. It wasn't quick, easy, and painless, but I am a much better person from what I experienced and can reach out to others in ways I never could before.

I hope I didn't depress you more with the part about the medication, but I know I would have wanted someone to tell me that it might not be easy, but that it was doable. In hindsight I would still take the medicine all over again, without a single doubt. It was part of the healing process, but like stitches/packing, etc. with a physical wound, it wasn't painless to remove (hope that makes sense).

Take care of yourself--I'm so glad you've got an appointment. You sound like a strong woman and you'll get through this. . .definitely for yourself, and especially for your children and spouse b/c they feel the effects as well.

J.

Sounds like post-partum to me. Unfortunately, it often takes weeks to get to a therapist. In the mean time, try to get someone to take the kids for an afternoon and get out of the house and do something for you. A temporary fix, I know, but take what you can get. If you don't take other meds, look into taking some St. John's Wort supplements. Find a good quality supplement. They may even have it in some herbal teas. Chamomile tea may also help. Hang in there. Find a friend that you can call when you have that emergency feeling of running away. Or maybe cal the OB now and tell him/her that you need to talk to someone before your appt next week. Best of luck, and you always can e-mail me, although, I'm guessing you're in Hawaii and I'm in Ohio. Hang in there.

C.

Do not feel bad, there is nothing wrong with getting a little help. You have a lot going on now. Four children can be a big handful....I say this and I only have one. You have a lot more patience and understand than I do. I had postpartum depression for a long time after my daughter was born. I didn't want to be on medication either. I basically told myself that I was going to have to get over this because I have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful daughter I have the responsibility of taking care of. I prayed a lot and read the Bible often too. I tryed to talk to other moms and friends. I made it through without taking any medication, through the strength that God gave me. Not everyone can do that though. I have delt with depression for over 10 years now and it runs in my family (and my husbands'). If you are dealing with this for the first time it can be overwhelming, there is nothing wrong with getting help weather it be from medication or talking to a therapist. Talk to your doctor ASAP!!! Good luck and I will be praying for you!!!

Hi J.,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad. The positive is that you are aware of your feelings & seeking help by going to the OB. Don't hold anything back, make sure you tell your Dr. exactly how you feel.

What you are feeling is not your fault, so don't blame yourself. It is a combination of many things such hormones, the responsibility of taking care of 3 kids & a new baby, the house, & just overall being busy with schedules & lack of sleep can top it off. It's been a long hard winter this may be part of it also!!!

I have never felt what you're feeling, but I do work with PP women & I have seen this in other women. It is really more prevalent then many think, & they do feel better with help! Having a support person or persons can be very helpful.

Your Dr. will probably want to give you medication which will work the quickest, although it does take time. It doesn't mean you'll be on it forever. Counseling maybe helpful also.

Glad to hear that your husband is helpful. Do you have family or friends who can help you out occasionally during the day to give you time to yourself. Is there someone you can talk to when you're feeling overwhelmed?

It may help to get out of the house to go for a walk when your husband gets home for exercise & time alone. That can do wonders for your emotional well being

Hang in there you will get through this!

I hope you feel better soon!!!

K.

J., you are right that sounds like its postpartum deprssion. I agree it sucks and its hard to deal with. I would go to WebMD to see if there is any nondrug ways to help. I know B12 is supposed to help with mood funtions. Whatever you do though dont stop taking or doing what you start until the doc okays it.I thought I would be okay and stop and it came back worse. Good Luck and try to keep your chin up.

Yes, you are suffering from depression. You may also have some chemical/vitamin problems. Yes, you should seek some help, if nothing more before seeing your OB GYN next week you might A) call your minister or someone from your church and ask for help if you go to church or B) call your family physician's office and ask them for the names of a counciling group. They have them support and counciling groups to help people with this problem.

Hi, Jamie! I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so sad. But, believe me, you aren't alone! There are lots of women out there who feel that way -- myself being one of those people. I'm sure when you visit your doctor next week, they can give you something to get you through this. I have several friends who have taken anti-depressants after child birth. Don't worry about taking medicine, a lot of people do!! Get the medicine, and feel like the J. that you used to be! Enjoy your babies while they're young! You deserve it, and so does the rest of your family!! Best of luck!

Hi J.,

I know I am late---

Sounds like PPD to me too, been there,done that, it's awful, it does get better, a support group helped me a lot.

What I didn't see in any of the responses--if you are nursing your baby you want to be careful about what you take as a medicine. La Leche League has good reference materials about what drugs are OK for nursing moms and babies. You can call 1-800-LA LECHE for a referral to a local leader or check out their web site. If you link up with a local group there's a good chance someone there has been through or is going through PPD, and you'd have someone to talk to.

I seem to remember that someone else here on Mamasource posted about PPD recently. If you have time to search the archives (yeah, I know--4 kids would make it tough! LOL)you may find some more good advice.

With 4 kids you are doing better than many of us who were challenged by PPD with ONE kid! (I think one Mom said, "hey they are clothed and fed, pat yourself on the back"--I loved that one.)Hang in there, and congrats on all the babies!

K. Z.

sounds like you should probably call your dr & see someone more immediately than next week...any doctor, not just your ob, but your family dr. i would get a blood test as well, sometimes thyroid problems can manifest in depression & fatigue as well. it does sound like you're dealing with postpartum depression.

as for being drugged, your brain has a chemical imbalance... taking antidepressants is no different than taking cholesterol pills: they just help your body readjust to a correct level.

Hello J.,
First of all, have your husband read this.
Like the other response, I think you or your husband should move you appointment to as soon as possible. I had postpartum depression. When my ob told me he wanted to but me on meds, i refused to take them. At my church, they had a counciling group, this helped a little for very small short peroids of time. However, within a month, I had hives and a bald patch from my hair falling out. The doctor told me the baldness and hives were ways of the depression relieving itself. So I took the medicine. They say the medication is supposed to take a week or more to be effective, but i felt a huge amount of relief that same day. This happened eight years ago, and it feels like yesterday, so I know how scary this is. Please write to me during the day if you need to. I also remembering not wanting to share my feelings with friends or family, so I will check mamasource a couple of times today to see if you need anything.
Between today and your appointment ask you husband to buy a few small, inexpensive, gifts for the children, hot wheel cars or play dough, new crayons and a coloring book keep my little ones occupied for a very long time. Ask your husband to have grilled cheese or pb&j ready before the kids wake up, use cookie cutters to make a shape of them. Buy convience food, like lunchables, which i know are expensive, or some skewers to put hot dogs on. These little things will make the children feel special, and hopefully allow you not to have to deal so many needs during the day. When the children get bored or needy, hand them a brand new hot wheel, this should make a least one of you smile. Hang in there, children are resiliant and you can get through this. You will be stronger and wiser for it.

It definately sounds like PPD. I was diagnosed when my baby was 5 mos.Its terrible, and scary, so dont feel ashamed, and dont keep it in. I was prescribed a drug that for awhile, but am now looking into other methods. Talk to your o.b. and check into an herbalist or homeopathic remedies. But dont try to handle this on your own!! Best of luck to you :)

As I was reading your posting, I felt has if I could have written it last Winter after I had my daughter. I was going through everything that you discussed. I too made an appointment with my OB. She recommended a very low dosage of zoloft. I wasn't thrilled with taking medication and my husband was not supportive of that either so I ended up not taking it. However, I did find a group that met twice a week through my OB's office. Actually I think it was sponsored by Fairview Hospital. The kids were welcome. At first it was difficult to go, but after a few weeks, I came to love it. It got us all out of the house and me some adult time. Of course, I had a newborn so I had to tend to her every minute, but it was nice seeing everyone else there was in the same boat. The bigger kids would play with each other and the mommas and the small children would sit and visit for a few hours. No one got upset if you had to abruptly exit the conversation to tend to a child (which many of my friends did not understand). My son even liked to go because it was something different to do during the cold months when usually he is couped up in the house. You are definitely not alone and I hope you find something that works well for yourself and your family.

Four kids is a lot of work. Make sure you are putting some of the cleaning/pickup/kitchen duties on the kids.
Exercise is a great healer of depression. Start with 15-20 minutes a day, even if it is just jogging in front of the TV.
Depression is not about anything. It is a disease. So get counseling. Your baby deserves a mother that wants to take care of him.

Please make an appointment with the doc. Make sure they do a full screening on you including a thyroid test. Some postpartum desspressions are caused by postpartum thyroidosis and do not let them put you on antidepressives until they have ruled out your thyroid. I went through a simular period when my first son was 4-5 months old. I had no control of my emotions, I was sad and mean and just wanted to escape. I had no ill will or bad intentions toward my son I just wanted to be alone. Then the uncontrollible hunger started. I also had problems with my neck. I would pick up my son and he would be okay for awhile but then he would push off my neck and it hurt so bad I would literaly jump out of my skin.

I have been on antidepresives in the past due to other problem and when I took them I really needed too. However they did have some side effects that where as bad as the despression itself, including weight gain and the loss of sexual appitite and the inability to orgasim. Good luck let us know how things work out.

J.,

Illness in any organ system is nothing to be ashamed of, and the medical treatemts for PPD is effective and safe and you truly will not bleleive how much better you will feel after treament. Mental illness is not any different than any other illness, they are organic, physical illnesses caused by imbalances that you will not be able to change without intervention. PPD is often temporary and may never return after treatment. It is not a charachter defect.

Ask your husband for help to get to to the doctor quickly, one of the symptoms is not being able to seek help yourself. You have shown incredible streanth to be able to write your request, so pat yourself on the back and know that you should feel better very soon if you get the help you need.

M.

HI J., it does sound like some PP depression. You need to take care of yourself! Do you have an opportunity for a break away from the kiddos? Can a family member watch them for you to get out for some exercise, shopping or for a date with your hubby? I would probably go the medication route with you, I would hate for you to do something that you would regret due to the illness. Get an apt. with your OB asap! This is probably temporary, so don't think you will continually be on the drugs! Think of the benefits verses the negatives, you will enjoy life again! In the meantime, get rest, eat well - nutrition rich foods, exercise daily. Those all help depression symptoms! Take care, let me know how what you choose to do!

J.,

First of all, FOUR children? You are a superwoman. I only have two and it's a challenge.

Secondly,

Absolutely I have been there. Absolutely I think you are suffering from PPD. Absolutely I think you should move your appointment up.

That thought about driving away is a common one. Oh, that serene and tranquil location with no children and dirty dishes and no dust bunnies ... Perhaps a quiet cabin in the mountains? Yeah. I know that thought. And I don't mean to trivialize the seriousness of it. But I know that thought.

Trust me, I didn't like the idea of medication either. But after taking Effexor, it was like a transition of night and day. I went from thoughts of hurting my newborn daughter and crying all day long, to an even, organized calm. Not dull stupor, but calm. I experienced joy again.

Medication isn't for everyone. But it's worth exploring and taking charge of your situation. Please take care of yourself. Give yourself credit for the amazing job you're already doing. I mean, if the kids have clothes on and are not streaking through the neighborhood ... it's a good day.

Please take good care of yourself,
J.

Hi J.--

It does sound like you have PPD. I actually belong to a PPD support group in Columbus. I'm not sure where you are, but there is a meeting Saturday at 10:00 (Valentine's Day). The website is www.poemonline.org and the support line is ###-###-####. There are other groups throughout Ohio also. My youngest daughter will be 3 in June and I still attend the monthly meetings now as a mentor mom. This group helped me so much by knowing that I wasn't alone and that PPD is a disease, but you will get better even if it doesn't seem like it now.

Right now, your hormones are going haywire, and that can be sort of like being on drugs already. It is not a sin to take cold medicine if you have a cold, and likewise it is not a sin to take an antidepressant if you're experiencing PPD. Like cold medicine, you won't have to be on it the rest of your life, just long enough for your hormones and body to figure out what's going on.

Just trying to be direct. Please let your doctor's know what's going on, and they can give you something that's mild enough that will just help take the edge off and make mommy a better person to be around.

Good luck!!

Hi J..
This sounds so much like me after I had my son in 2/08. I often felt like just walking out the door and leaving, or just driving away. Like you, I didn't think of hurting my children, but I wanted to escape. I would definitely get your appointment asap. I think it if were just hormones, they maybe would have lessened by now. It's been 4 months since your 4th baby was born? I think that's a really long time to still feel this way. I hope your dr can help you and that you are feeling better really soon. You're definitely not alone. Good luck!

actually post partum is more of a hormonal imbalance. taking antidepressants doesn't solve the hormone problem. what worked for me (and anti-depressants did NOT help-- they made it way worse!!!) was some progesterone cream to regulate my cycle and some time for myself.

take a night off once a week- insist on it-- and if possible get a babysitter sometimes during the day just to relax. you NEED this, you need to take naps, you need rest. it will help everyone in your family, not just you. so take the time for yourself.

feel free to send me a personal message if you want to hear more of my story. hang in there-- you'll survive this!!! it will get better! i know several natural remedies that work and have no negative side effects if you are interested.