Postpartum

Breastfeeding helps TREMENDOUSLY because of the release of oxytosen. Also, getting out, I know it's hard, but finding a mom's group to attend or breastfeeding support, something like that, gets you around other moms, many who are going through the same stuff.
PM me if you'd like some links to local moms groups.

Hi N.,
I had postpartum depression as well, and I know it's a tough road. It's great that you got help early. I'm taking Zoloft, and I know with some antidepressants it can take weeks before you feel any benefits. I think the moms' groups are a great idea, and I found it was helpful to go to PPD support groups (everyone understood why I wasn't bubbling over with joy). Depression After Delivery has an info request line for resources like support groups and therapists: 1-800-944-4PPD or you can try PPDIL.org. I also saw a psychologist, Carol O'Connor in Skokie, who really helped me make it through the rough spots. Susan Benjamin Feingold in Highland Park is another great therapist...she's a psychologist who specializes in PPD and ran the PPD support group I went to.
Please feel free to contact me when you need to talk. Either send me a message through this site, or e-mail me at ____@____.com are not alone in this! Hang in there!
A.

N. -

I totally understand what you are going through. I had severe postpartum depression along with anxiety after my son was born. At first I thought what I was feeling was normal, but then I started loosing quite a bit of weight. After my son was about 3 weeks old it got to the point where I would just start litterally getting sick every time he cried. I would start shaking and vomitting as soon as he cried. My husband was the one that prompted me to call my dr. I did just that and my dr. suggested that I go to the emergency room to be evaluated. After about an hour of evaluation they determined that it was best for me to admitted into their "mental health" ward. Funny thing was is that I was so relieved to actually be admitted and be away from my son. It wasn't that I didn't love him; it was that I didn't know how to handle him and honestly I just didn't want him. I stayed in the hospital for a week and they put me on welbutron (sp?). I can say that within two days I was feeling a little better. When I was released from the hospital I felt like I could actually handle the situation, but it did take me a good 5 months to get back to normal. So please don't think you are in this alone and that no one understands, because I know there are so many of us that do. I did read Brook Shields' book (down came the rain) and it was very encouraging. I would suggest you read that so that you know you aren't alone. If you ever need to talk please feel free to email me as I would be more than happy to get together or just talk with you so that you can be encouraged. Hang in there. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but things will get better. My son is now two years old and I love him more than anything!!!

Hi N.. Congrats on your new son! I know how your feeling. I didn't have it for long and didn't require medication but I remember saying to myself at the 6 week mark, if this doesn't get better in a week I need to go see my doctor. Funny enough the following week it just lifted like a rain cloud had gone away. It's a helpless feeling. I don't think I ever felt so alone in my life. I didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone and I remember looking at my son and thinking I had made a huge mistake and how was I ever going to cope with this. People telling you it will get better doesn't help a bit, at least it didn't me but unfortunately it's the truth. Your doing all the right things, you've seen your doctor about it, your on meds and your here asking for support.

I am happy to report that now after 5 months I feel so much better and am really truly enjoying my son and love him and my daughter more then life itself.

If your spouse/partner can take over a few night feedings and let you get some rest and you take your meds and keep yourself hydrated and fuel your body with good nutrition, I promise you'll be feeling better very soon.

Somtimes a mantra will help at the really bad times. My personal one at that time was "this too shall pass" but whatever comforts you can help. In moments when it's really bad just repeat it over and over again until your mind clears and your better able to focus.

You hang in there and continue to reach out when you need to. I found it helpful to take a few hours away whenever you can to get out and do something mindless like a pedicure or even a stroll around the mall to window shop, a drive through town, a grocery store run when it doesn't matter if you come home with nothing. Just something to occupy your thoughts that are mundane and don't require a lot of energy and effort.

Good luck and I hope your feeling better very very soon.

N.,
I feel for you. I had such a hard time after my baby was born. A few weeks after she was born, I could barely get out of bed and I was physically ill -- could't eat, couldn't sleep. I was so completely drained and felt like I had made a huge mistake and my life would never be the same again. (of course, I also loved my baby with all of my heart and soul, but these feelings were so overwhelming!). My doctor put me on zoloft, which helped. And then, I started going to a mom's group, which really, really helped to be out with mother's like myself. Then, when Tabitha finally got out of the colic phase at four months, I felt much better. I still don't feel "normal," but I think I am getting much closer. I would say to try to find a group of moms where you can meet other moms and interact with other people going through the same thing you are. If you want to email me with more questions, feel free. I know how hard this can be!

A.

See if there are any mom's groups around your area. I felt the same way but I didn't have any groups around me and I was a single mom. I bet it would help though.

Hi! Let me just say I think a lot of moms go through this and it is very common. I felt very blues and did a lot of talking to people, especially supportive people who wouldn't make me feel guilty or bad about myself with how difficult it was initially. It does get much better and it is good that you are finding help. Another mom or a group was very helpful for me in terms of just trying to fit in and get comfortable to get through what you have to do!!! Good luck
T.

Having a baby is a really big change in anyone's life. Your hormonal levels drop drastically and for some it can really mean some massive baby blues.

Kudos to you for getting help, though. That's a big first step.

I know with the birth of my daughter, I had a bad case of baby blues. I went from working almost 60-80 hours a week to "dead stop" being home with a newborn. The transition definitely is not an easy one.

I agree that you need to find a local moms group, La Leche League, or church mom's group. I belong to Carymomsgroup.com and they were a lifesaver after I had my son. Not only were there things for me to keep my daughter involved, but they brought meals for a week after my son was born...so I got some adult conversation and I also had friends who wanted to see my son and so it was a good excuse to get out of the house and go to some events.

You don't have to go it alone and you are definitely not alone in the post-partum depression boat (or baby blues). I think once you meet other moms and you can talk about what you're feeling, you'll notice that you're feeling better.

I know how hard it must be for you and I'm sending you lots of hugs. Take care of yourself.

By the way...another good place to find meet ups in your area is www.meetup.com.

To make it through this you need support. Parents and spouse are great but don't always know what you are going through. You need to find a support group. If you are in the south bend area there is one at Memorial Hospital on the 2nd and 4th Monday of the month at 7:00 pm. There is one this coming Monday, the 12th. If you want more info let me know and I can get it for you. Good luck and remember, you are not alone, and you will get better.
K.

I agree with the other moms and I to have to say "this too shall pass" and to hang in there honey, things WILL be better for you. You are not alone.We are all around you Good luck!

My postpartum wasn't diagnosed until about 8 months after my daughter was born - but looking back at her first year, I am pretty sure that I had since day one. I had a detached feeling - as if I was watching a movie or something. I couldn't get excited or happy about anything. Then it got worse. Before I finally got help - I has stopped eating and was sleeping all the time. The month before I started taking antidepressants - I lost 25 lbs because I wasn't eating and I couldn't keep anything down (I carry stress in my stomach.) My mom ended up having to move in with us for a few weeks until the antidepressants started working and I started getting back on my feet. I think one of the reasons that it took me so long to get help was because I felt that there was a stigma attached to needing help. My marriage barely survived that first year. All I can say is that things will get better. If you are not already part of one - find a Mom's group. That is what helped me the most. Nobody is ever actually prepared for being a parent - and the hormone and body changes that are happening right now doesn't make it any easier. Just hang in there. There is a light at the end of this tunnel - I promise.

First of all I just want to say that I completely understand the way you're feeling, and you are certainly not alone. So many moms go through this, including me, and I really didn't feel back to complete normal until about a year later. I think the sleep deprivation those first three months really shook me up and took a toll on me. The best thing that I found to do was to talk about the way I was feeling to other people that could relate. I live so far away from my friends and family, and I did feel (and still feel a bit) lonely, and I felt like such a bad mom. I just couldn't be happy all the time. I'd have good days and I'd have days where I just wanted to escape. We can be so hard on ourselves, and if we don't realize that others may be going through the same things, it can feel very lonely and depressing. My sister-in-law kept telling me that each day will get a little better, and she was right. You'll start to feel more like yourself, and you'll find your mothering groove, and life will feel more comfortable and fulfilling, I promise. Good luck to you.

Dear N.,

I suffered from postpartum depression, and, not to scare you, actually suffered a relapse, which I had no idea could happen, right before my son turned one due to a tragic event. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Major Depression, and I am still on lexapro, and I can honestly it has made a HUGE difference. I remember when my son was three months old, crying every day and feeling so very alone. I refused family members to visit and just didn't want to see anyone at all. It is not something that you want to admit, and I think I waited too long before I sought help. The good thing here is that you are aware that you are suffering from it, that you have seen your doctor, and that you have posted here reaching out to others for support. I think that it is a good idea to try and get out by yourself every once and a while, just to get a cup of coffee and try to read or do something to take your mind off of feeling so overwhelmed. I did learn to find comfort in my baby as well, reminding myself how overwhelmed he must feel and like we were in the same boat. I took great pleasure in breastfeeding him and singing to him. It does get better. You just have to focus on comforting your little one and taking care of yourself. I found eating healthy helped and getting more rest helped immensely as well. Stay in tune with how you feel and never resist seeing your doctor if you think it is not going away or getting worse. You have taken steps in the right direction to recover, and you will!! Enjoy your baby and take care of yourself.
Best wishes,
M.

Obviously you are NOT alone, N.... there is a raft of ladies who have been through similar experiences after the births of their much loved and wanted kids. Reach out, find other moms to talk with that are working through motherhood and all its challenges. You are already doing a wonderful job by reaching out... be gentle with yourself... even without PPD being a new mother is one of the hardest things most of us will ever experience.

I totally feel for you I had it with both of my children. The most important thing is find someone you can talk to who can help support you and just listen. If you dont start feeling better with the med.s soon I would call the doctor and get something else. Keep your head up it may not feel this way but it does get better! Good luck.

You aren't alone!!!!! If you can, talk to someone. Join a moms club or even find a group online (meetup.com is a great place) or just general Yahoo message groups. You also might want to check out a couple of books... I have heard that Brooke Shields book is actually pretty helpful. I had that on my list to read and never did. The feelings, hopefully, will subside and you'll feel more like yourself. Hang in there!!! Motherhood is really hard and tough!

Isolation is the worst.... join a local mother's group and then you'll be more motivated to get out of the house on a regular basis. I see someone from my group 4-5 times a week! It really does make a big difference! We have playgroups (these are more important with babies -- they are for the moms, not the kids -- so join one!), field trips (zoo, firestations, airport, etc), moms nights out, moms breakfast out, lunch with kids (Olive Garden is very awesome when a group of 50+ descend on them!), holiday parties, 'how-to' meetings (learn to knit, freezer cooking, budgeting, etc), monthly bookclub and tons more.

Mother's groups are everywhere - you just have to know where to look: mothersandmore.org is a national one with local chapters (there are several around chicago) and so is MOMS. Many local churches have a MOPS group. You can search on yahoogroups for your city or county and 'moms group' or 'playgroup'. Or just do a google search since there are many local groups with websites. Or go old-school and look a the flyers in your local library, in your OB's office, or grocery store. Many moms find out about local groups when they attend the breastfeeding support group at their hospital and ask. Or ask at an LLL meeting.

N.,

I know exactly what you are going through. For the first several months after my son was born I was the same way. I felt very isolated and I would cry over just about anything. Looking back I realize that my problem was that not only was I hormonal, but I also felt very isolated and was transitioning into a new and unfamiliar phase of my life.

Do you have a support group of other moms who know what you are going through? I would highly recommend going to Cradle Talk. It is affiliated with Edward Hospital (call there for location information) The group meets every Wednsday. It is an excellent way to meet other new moms who know what you are going through. The playgroup that I am involved with now sprang out of Cradle Talk, and I have made some excellent friendships over time with these other moms. A lot of new moms attend Cradle Talk, and you will have a chance to form wonderful friendships too. It takes a little while, but I promise you that if you give it a chance you will feel a lot better. Good luck to you and congratulations on your little one!

J.

N., I had post pardum depression too with my daughter. I had it bad to the point where I quit eating, drinking, and wouldn't get out of bed. My ob-gyn gave me two options, either I could go on meds or she could put me inpatient at the local behavioral health hospital. So she put me on zoloft and explained that it could take up to 6 weeks. I was starting to feel better by the end of the 3rd day. Luckily for me, I have a very supportive husband that basically took care of my daughter while I was trying to get through all this with my hormones dipping extremely low. If you have any more questions or need someone to talk to let me know. I've been there and I know how it feels to go up and down from one min to the next. Take care, K.

N.

I am a mother of 2 daughters an 8yr old and a 7yearold and after my 2nd I was put on Lexapro 10mg it really make a difference and I was so nervous about being put on Medication all I can say is it does get betterand keep the faith and surround yourself with people that care about you and if someone offer to help ie. babysit for anhour or so clean you house whatever it is accept it. I hope things get better and if you need to talk my email is ____@____.com