K.W.
Dear V.,
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through right now. It's devestating to think that something could be wrong with your child and have to wait for the test results to give you answers, one way or another. The unknowing is difficult.
Our daughter is perfectly healthy but there was a time we didn't know if she would be or not. First, the series of pregnancy tests they do ~ one of them showed a false positive for downs syndrome (something very common with that test). My doctor did so many ultrasounds that I began to wonder if she would glow when she was born. (I kid.) Next, there was some tissue that showed up in utero that concerned my doctor. He was afraid that it would attach itself to my daughter's hand or foot and cause a defect. Thankfully, it didn't and eventually it disolved. Finally, I had complications and ended up having to deliver her a month early. She had severe reflux and one of her organs wasn't devolped completely and we nearly went home without her. Our daughter never left the NICU until the day we drove home. She was only in my room for 20 minutes before we left the hospital. Needless to say, my whole pregnancy was filled with questions and worries and I think it prepared me for the future, for the unknown.
I wish I could tell you I've got the answers to your questions but unfortunately I don't. The only thing that got me through each of those possible "worst-case scenarios" was my faith and the love and support of everyone around me. My husband and I knew that no matter what happened we would love our daughter just the way she was/is and for however long we had/have her in our lives. Still, waiting for answers was gut wrenching. I worried, said a lot of prayers, and fretted over everything. I remember when peace finally settled in my heart and can only attribute it to God. One minute I was a wreck and the next I knew everything would be okay. It was that sudden.
You have to do your best to relax and give this all up to God. Surround yourself with friends and family whom you can talk to and share your fears and concerns with. But most of all, snuggle up to your precious daughter and love her. No matter what the future holds, your children can be one of the greatest sources of comfort and joy in your life. Enjoy this time as much as you can. Don't let the threat
of "possibilities" loom over you and rob you of some very precious moments.
Do whatever you need to process this time. For me, I journaled and read things that helped me escape from myself for a little while. If talking to a friend is what normally helps then call one up. Read, journal, listen to music, take a walk, just do whatever helps you. Before you know it, time will have passed and you'll have the test results. THEN, you can deal with whatever it is you need to deal with.
I'm sorry that I don't have anything real answers for you. I will be praying for you and your family though. Hang in there and don't give up hope. Try to rest in God and know that whatever the outcome He'll help you through it.
Praying for you and yours,
K.