So we decided to take the plunge about 2 wks ago and some "hard core" potty training with our 27 mo old DS. He has been going potty on occasion for several months and felt he was ready to transition to underwear. We set up timed toilet runs and rewards for pees and poops. He has been in underwear since and doing great with going in the potty! However, he's almost too driven by rewards for poops (he gets a matchbox car from his poop box). He sees his poop box from his toilet and tries to poop every time he sits on the toilet. It's getting to the point where he's really straining hard to poop every time he goes just so he can get out a little pellet of poop to get a reward. I tell him that he can poop later and have tried to withhold giving him a car when he just does a little pellet, but he has a HUGE fit if he can't poop and wants to remain sitting on the toilet, or when I withhold a car when he does his little pellet. I just don't want him to hurt himself from straining and trying so hard to poop that we end up with an issue. And I want him to learn that he needs to do a big poop to get a reward, not just these little pellets. Do you have suggestions for how to approach this scenario? I feel that ultimately, I need to phase out the poop box reward, but I don't want to do it prematurely and derail our progress. Hugs and kisses and praise don't seem to be enough right now as positive reinforcement.
I would change what is in the "poop" reward box. With my daughter, at first we were giving her a couple M & M's or a sucker, now we give her 2 stickers for poops and 1 or none for pee. She has been going potty for just over 3 weeks. Hope that helps.
Can I just start this by saying that I hate potty training. :) My 2 year old daughter has been training for about 4 months now. She is doing really well. I didn't even want tot rain her yet. My plan was to wait until she turned 3 in April. But she takes her diaper off every time she poops and the poop gets all over the place. So we decided to make it official and get her in panties. We have a treat jar reward system and though I don't have much advice about the straining to poop (sorry), I can say that an easy way to phase out the poop box would be to change the toys in it to things he is less enthusiastic about. If he doesn't want the reward so bad, maybe the tantrums will slow or stop as well as the straining to poop every time. That is what I did with my daughter. We changed from her favorite candy to one I knew she wasn't so keen about and half the time now, she doesn't even remember to ask for the treat when she poops in the potty. And I accidentally forget to give it to her. :) Hugs and clapping do the trick. Good luck!
straining to poop could lead to hemmerroids. no joke. my cousin´s 2 year old has this problem and it´s horrible. to me this is a perfect example of why giving rewards for potty training is misguided. the goal is to use the potty because that´s what we do in our society (we also eat meals together, wear clothes, bathe, etc. these things are non negotiable. we just do them and should not be setting our children up to expect rewards for this normal behaviour.) sounds like a good middle ground would be as suggested below - when the box of cars is empty (can´t happen quickly enough´:) to recalibrate the system. at the moment he´s only doing what any self respecting car lover would do! good luck!
That is great that he is so enthusiastic about using the potty. First I would take the reward box out of the bathroom and replace it with a chart that he can put stickers on, or something of that nature. Without the box being in there, he may quit trying so hard to poop. Switch out some of the cars with other little toys he may enjoy, just not want so much. Only when he does the big poops, does he get the car. Then just give him a reward after so many poops, or trips to the bathroom, or a day with no accidents. I am a bit stingy with my rewards for potty training than everyone else. My kids get 1 M&M for peeing and 2 for pooping. Good luck.
C.
Your prize system is apparently not balanced well enough with your son's enthusiasm, and thus you've set up unrealistic expectations (the prizes are too valuable to your son). One of the biggest problems with prizes or bribes is that the reward for a job well done remains external. He can see that you are excited and proud for your son when he poops. It might help to ask him how excited and proud he is when he succeeds. Over time, that should make a difference.
Explain that you are worried about him hurting himself, and that you need to revise the prize structure. Give smaller prizes or sporadic prizes (google "intermittent reward" for the scientific basis for this), or at least a maximum of one or two prizes per day, depending on what his "normal" poop schedule would be.
He may be unhappy about this and regress in his training, but if that's the case, then the whole basis for the training is psychologically off-kilter. You might consider giving it a rest for a couple of months, and then reintroducing the idea of using the potty again. Don't worry too much about derailing the success you've had so far. This is like laying a good foundation, and you'll all do better in the long run if it is straight and sound.
And for most kids, success with pee comes first, and success with poops is a separate stage. It could be that your son can handle both, but keep in mind that it might be too much to handle all at once.
My son will do the same thing sometimes. We work on a sticker chart basis. There are 10 boxes and each time he goes he gets stickers. 1 for pee, 2 for poop. When he has filled up a chart he gets the prize pictured on the chart.....i.e. car, truck, dinosaur, baking cookies, etc. He knows that he gets 2 stars for going poop so he will try to go so he can fill his chart up faster, but at least I'm not having to give him a prize every time! Boys!
Maybe you should tell him his poops have to be at least as big as the car he is getting??? Not sure if that would work, but maybe if he has a visual it might make more sense to him ;-) Good luck!
I haven't been through this yet, but have you tried to give a daily prize. Maybe have a chart and mark down all the pees and "big" poops and give the prize(s) at the end of the day, or the next morning? That way it isn't an instant reward, and you can tell him to "save up" for the big poop?
We had this same exact problem with my son. We dealt with it until our reward chest was empty...and if I am honest a few of the cars disappeared during nap time.Once our reward chest was empty I told him that now he gets m&ms (candy was a rare treat at the time). He got two for pee pee and five for poop. He strained a little bit in the beginning, but it phased out pretty quick when he wasn't "working" for a toy or cool prize.
