Pool Taken over by Older Kids - What Would You Have Done?

I think that sort of thing is just part of going to a public pool. At least they were apologizing (even if it was half hearted). And they were going around. Now if they were shoving and knocking the kids down, that would be different.

Kids are kids. They lose all sense when in a pool. It was hot. I probably would have just told the little ones to stay on one side of you. They were annoying you, you were on steps where people get in pool. So. Day is done, gone the sun. Today is another day.

Because I am passive aggressive I would have been right in the middle of their game, bouncing around in the water with my 2 year old and splash playing with my 5 year old. They can swim around you if they don't like it.
OR....
If there were only 10 minutes left I would have just left a bit early.
L.

That is life at a public pool.

Were you sitting at the only steps to enter/exit the pool? I hate it when I am at a hotel/resort and the only way I can get in the pool is to jump in or ease in from a side because the steps are full of parents sitting on the steps watching little ones. Just a thought...

I am also concerned for your 5 yr old who does not know how to swim. He/she should be a pretty good little swimmer by now. Please use some time this summer to get both of your children in swim class and learning about water safety.

Unfortunately, as long as public pools are around, there will be children playing, jumping, splashing. The lifeguards are not there to police the children... their job is to watch for anyone in danger of drowning.

I'm sorry about your experience. The good part is that it was during the last 10 minutes of your pool visit so hopefully the rest of your visit went well.

I'll be honest, my mood would determine my answer.

An off day would probably have me asking the older kids to either play nicer, or move away, and the bitchiness in my tone would be quite obvious.

Or I'd think "it is a public pool, they have as much right as I do to be here, it's not their fault my kids are so little so why should they have to bend to me and my children". Then just make the best of it.

Honestly, my older kids know to be mindful of younger kids, cause that's a peeve of mine, but I do understand that even the older kids are just being kids. Can you see that it's not a simple answer for me? So I refer you back to my first line.

When your kids are 2 and 5 "big kids" means 7-10? Even at these ages they are still little kids - just bigger than yours - and still clueless. Realize they've only been on the planet 7 yrs or 9 or whatever.

I assume their game didn't go on for hours - but probably 20+ minutes and that you had already been there for a while - maybe a couple of hours? It's enough to annoy you but there's not really much you can do. They were playing in the pool - the reason they came. Realize that before you know it your kids may be the "big kids". I remember being pretty upset when my (now 17 yr old) toddler daughter was being run over at the playground by the "big kids" - who were probably 5 - 7. They're still little themselves. Now if they were teenagers I would have not hesitated to say something in a light tone like "dudes, watch the little kiddos, you don't want to drown them - you're giants to them...!"

In response to those who suggested you talk to the lifeguard - my niece and nephew were lifeguards for years at community pools and they both said it is NOT their job to tell kids to be nice or to "police" manners - their job is to watch for people drowning or in distress in the pool. That is their only job. So please don't expect lifeguards to be babysitters.

Just being at the pool with your kids is a blessing - I was at work most of the day. :o(

I wouldn't have done anything. It's a public pool and was only for 10 minutes before you were leaving anyway. You asking them to leave you alone would be the same as if they asked you guys to move so they could play their game. If you don't want anyone bothering you while you swim, put a pool in your backyard. Good luck.

I probably would have done what you did to attempt to accomodate all the kids. When my kids were little like yours I would take them to the wading pool that is only for small children for that reason. Check and see if there's any in your area.

I think the older kids were being kids, and part of that is being clueless about littler kids. I think the girl walking along was either being rude, or trying to be subtle because you were sitting on the steps rather than using them to get in and out. She may have felt that the steps are not a place to park oneself, and I kind of agree unless it was a very large step area easy to get around you. But I also understand there are limited places to play with a 2 year old. I might have moved the 5 year old over toward 1 side, and asked the older kids to stay a bit toward the other side, suggesting that she wouldn't be in their way nor they in hers that way. If there's no true kiddie pool there, you might suggest to the manager or head lifeguard that they put in a few plastic kiddie pools to keep the little ones in very shallow water and out of the way of the bigger kids. I don't know if that would be allowed but it's worth investigating. Otherwise, I don't think there's much you can do - pools are public areas and people are going to get wet, although kids actively splashing rather than diving/jumping should be discouraged so the splash isn't overwhelming to those sitting nearby.

I would have had a conversation with the girl who kept saying she wished no one was in her way. She was being very rude to you and your kids. I would have asked her why she couldn't use the rest of the pool. Why do two little children who are too short to use the rest of the pool need to move for her? I would have put her in her place.

When you have a group of kids like you did, there's nothing to be done. You wait it out. Go have a snack, let your child play games with you under the umbrella. The group of kids will eventually move along.

You might consider talking to the management about what time of day is best for bringing your smaller kids so that they have some time in the pool when without the larger kids.

What I would have done depends. When I was like you, and my oldest kid was 5, I thought kids who were 7, 8, 9 etc were BIG kids who should behave more like adults. My kids are now 12 & 15, and a 7, 8, or 9 year old now, would be a "little kid" for us. Perspective is everything.

Realizing that you are sharing public space, I would ask why you think it is acceptable for you to "hog" the entire steps with your 2 year old and be irritated that a kid (7, 8, 9??) was using them. They were there to use the pool and were doing so. They weren't breaking any rules.

The best way to handle such things is to be polite. You almost always catch more flies with honey. "Hey, sweetheart, do you mind trying not to splash so much right here? The little one is still learning not to be afraid of the water." Or maybe you could have asked her, "Will it make it easier for you if we scoot down to one end of the steps, or up a step?" and then accommodated her as best you could.

Of course, if your 5 year old cannot swim, then every suggestion is out of the window, because you should not be relying on yourself alone to hold onto a slippery 2 year old AND pull up a drowning 5 year old, should they slip under. It only takes a second, and a drowning child is not only slippery, but clings like a cat trying to avoid a bath. Not good for either of your kids, if that were to happen.

Get the oldest one (at least, if not both) into some lessons ASAP. Then, maybe your 5 year old could have joined in the game with the other kids!

In our pools there is a rule that no one is allowed to sit on the stairs, so I could see a kid calling you out on that. I probably would have suggested that my five year old ask to play the game with the other kids, or I would have asked the kids myself if they wouldn't mind including my child. The kids would have likely included your child, or else decided to play elsewhere.

Was there a lifeguard or any other adult there that you could have said something to? Were these kids just there by themselves or did at least some of them have parents present that could have said something?

That behavior would get those kids thrown out of the pool in a lot of places.
Lifeguards and management should not allow any group to bully, or intimidate other patrons.
Not only that but many places will not allow unaccompanied kids - 16 and younger must have a parent present.
A community pool means the whole community should be able to use it in peace and no one gets to stake it out as their exclusive turf.
If it happens again, talk to management about it immediately.

Well I would have just let them play their game around me and my kids. My 6 y/o probably would've been all up in their business trying to edge in on it and play too, and my 3 y/o would have been intimidated and clinging to me on the steps.

I would have said something to the pushy little girl trying to take up the space on the steps and get her message across with her splashy antics "sweetie, this is the only place shallow enough for my little ones to play so your going to have to make a little more space here okay". Then a little more firm if she didn't get the authority vibe from me the first time.

So for a whole 10 minutes of your pool visit, you didn't have free reign of the pool? I think your expectations are a little unrealistic. It is a PUBLIC pool. If you feel it ruined your daughter's pool time, explain to her how things work in public settings, how we share things that the city/county etc. provides for us for free or a minimal fee such as parks, libraries, pools, etc. You could even explain how taxes work, how we all pay into the system and, as such, we share these things.
If you feel those kids just should not have been in there due to their age or size or whatever, you could have asked a lifeguard or other staff to clarify who gets to use that certain pool.

I wouldn't have said anything unless I needed to.

I might have said something to the little girl who was making comments such as "This is a public pool and my kids have just as much of a right to be here as you do." I also would have told her to take her antics to a different part of the pool if they were bothering you. However, I don't get mad at being splashed when I'm in a pool--because that's what you're in the water for! Kids splash, it's what they do.

It sounds like the kids were going around your 5-year old so they weren't running into her so I wouldn't have broken up the game. If it got bad, I might have said to the kids "Hey, I don't mind if you play your game, but could you keep it out of this area?" and then indicated a small area. Usually kids are actually super nice, and will try to do their best. While there are many rude kids in the world, for the most part I am usually impressed at how many kids are very polite and considerate if you ask them to be. It's just that they are kids, and they forget.

Well there is not really much you can do since it is a public pool. I can tell you that something happened to us when my son was younger. Some women were sitting on the side of the pool sunning and talking. Apparently my son jumped in the pool and splashed them a bit. All hell broke loose. You'd have thought he had a gun or something. Anyway they were yelling at him and me too. I finally decided to tell them that pools contain water and if they don't like water then maybe they shouldn't come to the pool. They left. In your case it sounds like most of the kids were respectful, since they went around you all, except the one girl. Maybe you can try out another spot in the pool next time you go. It might be a learning experience for your 5 YO to be in a different spot in the pool.

I would have had a conversation with the girl and told her to take her game down to the "big kid" part of the pool. I would have told her that she needs to learn manners as well. I might have said something like "I WISH the big kids would go where they can swim!!" if I wanted to be immature...and let her know I heard her but wasn't going to budge.

Then I would have had a conversation with the lifeguard. Our lifeguards are pretty on top of things at our pools. And when there are smaller kids in the pool - they DO make the older ones take their games to the deep end.

I would have done what you did, nothing there and complained to someone later....why? Because it's a public pool and those "big kids" have as much of a right to be in the 3 foot end as you do. I can see how they were a complete annoyance, but it's the nature of public pools.

We have two local ones. One is "out in town" and one is on base. The base one is where we have our summer passes - it is much nicer and much larger, plus it never gets nearly as crowded. Do you have another pool you could go to if you want a more peaceful experience?

I get the 5 year old preferring the more shallow end. My 6 year old is a confident swimmer, but he prefers to stay where he can touch so he can play football and other water games. He will swim in the deeper parts, but he can't play his games there. Maybe get him more confident and let him play in the deeper end if he wants?

Or, you could say something to the kids or the lifeguard, but everyone has to share the pool, so I'm not sure what would be done.

There were no lifeguards around? Or someone who was in charge? They could have told the other kids to go to the deeper part. It's not fair to anyone that was there for these kids to take over.

Our public pools have a toddler pool that is about a foot to 15 inches deep so they can get in and splash around. They are a lot safer in there but your older one would have been bored.

Another option is next time you go put your little one is a flotation toy and you get in the water with them. That way the bigger kids have 3 people to move around and chances are they will decide it's not worth their effort.

I have used these or items very very similar to them when the kiddos were younger.

This yellow one is my favorite for toddlers and preschoolers. It fit them better and seemed a lot safer. I have had kids from 14 months up to age 3 in ours. They stayed in them safely but I still never got more than a foot or two away. I had them in reach of my hands....

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4230366

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3934869

These others are just as good. Some have an actual seat with smaller leg holes. Others have straps shaped like an X. These are okay for the older kiddos but I used the smaller leg opening ones with the younger toddler.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12835669

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3934872

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3934877

These style swim suits are dangerous and should never be used. When they get wet they stretch out and the float material is not held close to the body so it moves up and over their head. Their face is below water at this point and they can drown if it's not noticed.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3934877

I probably would've said something like "Hey, you see that were trying to use the pool too, there's no reason to take up the entire section..." if nothing changed, I'd have told management. As for the girl who splashed, I'd have splashed her back if she kept doing it then prob would've said something like, I'll keep splashing you if you keep doing it to us. It's obviously on purpose & your apology didn't seem very sincere. You're just doing that b/c your a kid & think you can get away with it...please don't do it again, if you do, I'll notify management" & see if that helps but I wouldn't have just sat there. It's your pool too!

I don't think you can really say anything to the kids playing in the shallow end of the pool, assuming they are not knocking your daughter down, pulling on her, or otherwise putting her in physical danger. If they were going around her, it's annoying, but not really something you can - or should - prevent.

For the girl who was walking around you and making comments, I would have nicely said something. Just a simple "I'm sorry, but this is the only place for a young child to play. Why don't you swim around us like everyone else?" would suffice.

Hi, Mama:

It takes a village to raise a child. In your case, a group of children.

If it were me, I would have called the group over and told them the problem. Ask them how the problem could be resolved.
You would have been surprised to see how the problem would have be resolved.

Next time, call the over and tell them what you need.
Praise them for helping you out.

Good luck next time
D.

You could have said something like "You do not need to come up on the steps. You can swim over there."

If there are no rules about sitting on the steps, then I would ask the lifeguards if they could speak to the kids who are bothering you (at our community pool they will do this if someone consistently bothers another member). Sometimes, though, all you need is to make a comment that the kid is being rude and they get the hint. If it had gone on for more than the 10 minutes before adult swim, I would have spoken up, especially if there was no shallower kiddie pool. I have told kids that I or my DD do not like to be splashed, so please do not splash us. I tell my own DD it is rude to splash people who do not want to be.