Please Send Me Your Encouraging Thoughts? EDITED with INFO ADDED

Updated on October 07, 2016
E.B. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
21 answers

I'll be away from this site for a few days or more. My daughter and I are traveling back to Texas Saturday morning. When we moved to Hawaii, because my husband was assigned to the Pacific Command in the fight against drug trafficking, we weren't able to bring many of our belongings. This was a good opportunity for him, but since he's retired from the military, the military did not pay for this move, and shipping our car and some essentials were all we could do. Money's tight since Hawaii is expensive and we owe a ton of money to the Mayo Clinic.

Anyway, we put our stuff in a storage unit (a national corporation), and sad to say the place was managed quite poorly, although we didn't know it. Their rear gate cameras have not functioned for a while, and the guy that called us said they've been asking corporate to fix them for awhile. This was the first we had heard of the cameras not working. It's a national company and gated. But the back gate, for delivery trucks, was climbed over, apparently, and there are no cameras to show anything.

Our storage unit was broken into, and we've lost a lot of precious possessions. I'm trying to hold it together, realizing that this is "stuff" and not "family". But I lost some jewelry, and the place was trashed and obviously they crushed some things while searching through our belongings, so I know that things are destroyed. And my daughter is heartbroken - she loves her computers and video games, and has purchased the "special editions" of several games like the Assassin's Creed games and Halo games. They come with the disc but also with a figurine, and some kind of bonus like dog tags or a bracelet or something to set on your desk. She carefully packed them away, and they're gone.

My son went to the unit this morning and reported it to the police but we need to go and inventory everything for insurance purposes. I am not sure if I can sue the storage company but I may consult an attorney as well. My husband has bought us one way tickets because we don't know how long this will take. She's coming with me because my husband is leaving to go overseas in a few days for a conference that he can't get out of.

I'm so angry, and hurt, and sad. And I don't want this to set my daughter back - I'm afraid she'll relapse or one of her conditions will flare up. The good news is that I will be able to have dinner with my son, and visit with him a little. He lives and works in Austin. That's the silver lining, I guess?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for the kindness and empathy and support.

Yes, our belongings are insured, so I have already begun the police report and the insurance process.

I would not normally bring our daughter, but my dh will be leaving on a lengthy business trip (to Washington DC) in a few days. We aren't comfortable with dd staying alone here, due to her frequent dizzy spells, falls, and medical needs. She's intellectually capable of managing by herself, but really not physically independent. We never know when a dizzy spell or episode of blurred or double vision will occur, or a fall, or briefly passing out, or a day of vomiting.

I will try to keep in mind that my attitude will help her, and I'll try to stay positive. I'll update how the trip goes when I can. In the meantime, the prayers and cyber-encouragement helps!

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Is there any way you could replace one of her precious items? It seems like forever since I was robbed but what I couldn't get passed is that these people had my stuff that I couldn't afford to replace. It was two months before my oldest was born and even after his birth my mind kept going back to that anger.

Finally when my son was a couple months old I went out and replaced one of the items. I had better things to spend the money on but dammit! this is wrong. It was the item that kept popping up in my mind. Believe it or not it worked. At the times when I would think and, grrrr, I wasn't angry and over time it got better.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Years ago, my apartment was robbed. (I wasn't home) You feel so violated and angry. So sorry this happened. Huge hugs...

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Oh E., I am so sad to read this. You have been through so much with your daughter's health, your major trip to the Mayo Clinic, the exhausting "adventure" of a move to a new state, some adjustments and your daughter's issues there, and now this. What a terrible sense of being violated.

I hope that things are not as bad as you fear, and that you find many things that the vandals weren't interested in. Try to cherish what survives, and help your daughter through the trauma. I wonder if it's better for her to go, or better for her to stay in Hawaii? Maybe she's better off with you, even through the stress of the trip. Can you set up some sort of stress-reduction for her in Texas? Massage or acupuncture or a visit with a former therapist? Just have it set up before you leave? Maybe you should do one for yourself as well! Can you connect with old friends? It will be great to see your son!

We will all be thinking of you - you are such a valued member of this board, always so giving and generous in the midst of your troubles. We are all with you!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I am truly sorry to read this. You have been through quite a bit with your daughter and the move.

Several years ago when we were active military, many items were stored because of weight limits going overseas and most of our household goods were stored. We got a note the several units had been broken into and ours was one. The things that were taken were more so memories than anything else. But it was a loss to have a few things missing. It was how the unit was placed in the storage that it was too difficult to get to anything of real value as we took those items with us.

May you have a good visit with your son. I hope not too much has been taken and only damage. Do you have pictures of what you placed in storage? That might help for insurance purposes. Did you have insurance that extended to storage units on your homeowners or renter's insurance?

Do keep us posted. Sending a huge cyber hug to you.

the other S.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Oh E., that's just awful. I remember what a process your travel out to Hawaii was and to have to come back under such lousy circumstances and to be violated like that...just horrible. I wish I could give you a hug in real life. You'll be in my thoughts...hopefully your daughter will be able to process this and not have a set-back and you'll be able to recover some of your losses through insurance and the storage company.

Sending you hugs!

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J.T.

answers from Binghamton on

I'm sorry. I hope you can look at the beautiful ocean there in Hawaii and take some peace with you.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

It's horrible what has happened to you things. Continue to count your blessings and expect great things to come up out of this terrible situation. Look for every silver lining. Be confident, be strong, be resilient, your daughter is watching you and needs you to be strong through this. You can do this. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I've not been in your situation. It makes me so sad that you are facing this new thing to have to take care of right now.

I've kept up with you on this site and I care about you,your daughter and your family.

I'm thinking of you and I hope you resolve the problems quickly.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I'm so sorry to read this, E.. We've kind of been following your daughter's health and your situation going to Hawaii. What a terrible disappointment.

I do think that you should have your lawyer contact the company about getting the insurance filed. Do you know if it was replacement value insurance? They could drag their heels on this because of not wanting their insurance rates to go up. I hope you have a list of belongings already that were moved out of your place. That would make your work a lot easier.

I don't know how you're going to keep your daughter from relapsing. It's a hard thing, losing all your possessions. I guess that lots of love and showing empathy, along with doing things to try to get your minds off of it is the best "medicine".

Glad you'll get to see your son. I know that means a lot...

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M.P.

answers from Grand Forks on

I'm so sorry. You certainly don't need anything else to deal with....I pray, not just send happy thoughts, so I'll include you in my prayers tonight. For peace, strength, forgiveness and for a quick resolve and bounce back. Take a deep breath, actually lots of them!. Everything will work out. I am very sorry though. :(
Here's a big ol hug for you

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E.J.

answers from Chicago on

How awful. So sorry that this happened to you.

I know these are "just things" but it is important to grieve the emotions and memories attached to them. Mental health is attached to physical health.

I know this may sound weird, but having lost both my parents a few years ago and having my kids around all the time, I did 'scheduled' grieving/emotional release. Meaning when something triggered my release to cry, yell, or be angry I would acknowledge it briefly and just put it on an emotional shelf until later on that day, and then revisit the feeling and emotions when I could have privacy and not be guarded about it. I felt this way I could keep it together to parent.

But also remember that you are human and sometimes revealing some of our feelings also allows the other person to talk about theirs, rather then holding it in and having the feelings come out as physical symptoms.

You guys will get through this.
I hope you have a wonderful visit with your son despite the circumstances.
Hoping the situation can be resolved.

Again, sorry this happened.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

How horrible for you and your family!! I am so sorry this happened! May karma bite those thieves in the a&&!

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

So sorry to hear this, E.. Situations like this do make you feel so vulnerable and violated. I hope when you get there, that there will be some things you can salvage, that all is not completely lost.

Stay strong. Hope seeing your son will give you a boost.

Sending positive thoughts your way

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We recently went through something similar, although not as severe as yours. I'm sorry for your loss because it IS a loss.

We were in a hotel fire in CA over the summer. First night we were there. We dropped off all our stuff then went to see my cousin. On our way back for the night we saw the flames and smoke. It took several hours to find another hotel for the 4 of us at 10:30pm. My kids, especially son, where in hysterics. He had left his phone and his favorite Star Wars hoodie in the room. I had to keep telling them it's just "stuff" and we could have been in the room at the time and we weren't. It was so hard on all of us. Really almost the worst thing we've been through. Ended up our room was one of the few that didn't burn but we were back in AZ before we were told that. The next morning after the fire we spent almost $500 replacing everything for 4 days for 4 people. Sure there's insurance, sure it's just 'stuff', yes it's replaceable, yes it could have been worse...but I GET IT! It really is such an awful feeling. People just don't get the severity of it unless they have experienced it.

All that to say, it's hard at first but time heals all wounds. I know your daughter will feel the loss. Her things were important to her. Even if you replace the same things, its not her ORIGINAL things so it's 'different'. Just be there to listen to her. Remind her that there is crappy people in the world that do mean things and karma will get them if they are never caught. That what she is feeling is ok but she needs to try to not be sad but appreciate the things she does have.

We are getting ready to leave in the morning for a family cruise for fall break. We joke that we hope there isn't a fire on the ship! Lord knows we need an uneventful break. We refer to things we lost in the fire and now can kind of laugh about it. It's not funny at the time but you tend to get past the trauma of it and find some humor and move on. I hope you guys get everything replaced easily. I'm sorry this happened to you guys. Look for the little positive things in it. Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Oh, that's just so awful.
You can't help but feel violated after a burglary.
Be strong for your daughters sake - she might follow your example to a degree if you can hold it together.
Definitely lawyer up and see if a lawsuit is possible.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a terrible violation to be robbed. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully most of the things that were taken can be replaced, vs. being keepsakes and mementos, which are irreplaceable.

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

I am so sorry for you. Sigh. Sending you good thoughts and hugs

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts.

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't know what the liability is for the storage facility but I'd look into it since their security system wasn't what they claimed it was. If they knew this was a problem it might have been an inside job

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Sorry to hear this news. How awful. I hope that something can be done for compensation but I realize it must be so hard to lose cherished items. Hang in there - I hope your daughter isn't too upset. Maybe plan something to look forward to just to keep her spirits up? Best to you

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Oh, how nasty!! So sorry to hear about this occurrence. I really hope that you find more than one silver lining to this. Perhaps having some time with your son will be nurturing for you and your daughter. May you be able to cherish the things which are intact!

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