Please Read Adn See If This Sounds like You or Can You Help

I have a 10 year old with ADHD and NLD (nonverbal learning disorder) as well as some sensory integration deficit issues and anxiety. No ODD but we have certainly had phases where he seems like an OD kid - taking him off stimulants helped tremendously. We have been through a number of approaches with him - both traditional and alternative and am happy to share with you.

Dear M.,

Yes, My son has ADHD. I do know what you're going through as well as what your son is going through. You're overwhelmed and he's overly frustrated. There is a HUGE difference in being hyper and being defiant. You have to put your child in his place and teach him the difference between getting away with things due to his "disorder" and not getting away with being just plain defiant. If he's at least 5 years old, he's probably working you good. With all the other little bombinos in your house, this is a messy thing to just throw your hands up and surrender (so to speak). You need to lay the law with him so you can set an example for your other babies. Once you lose your temper, you lose control of the situation. Stay calm, be assertive and stand your ground. Time outs work wonders. Taking things that he cherishes away for a little while also gets them to stop and think. Not for nothing, I took my son to see a Therapist. She gave me so much insight on how to deal and adjust to this condidtion. Also if he has ADHD, he's most likely go aggression issues. He needs to release them. He will benefit from going to the park or just outside for that matter and running it out. Fresh air makes them tire out faster and sleep sounder; thus giving him a good night sleep and helping with the unbearable moods. Look I could talk to you all day about this but if you want to call me, please by all means do. Message me and let me know if you want to talk. Parents with children who have these condidtions need as much support as possible. We can all learn from eachother and find effective ways to manage our children.

M. I went through the same thing with my exhusband's daughter her diagnosis was like alphabet soup, add adhd ocd odd. At first she scared me with her actions and what not. But I ended up being the one person that she respected and was able to keep her leveled. Although right now your battling terrible threes on top of your son's condition here is what worked for me. Consistant schedule, everyone gets up by no later than 9, do their bathroom stuff etc we have some family time, lunch is ate together at the table after dinner there is quiet time for one hour no tv is allowed. A nap can be taken or a book read, this gives everyone time to decompress, eventually they will all take naps, their bodies and minds give in that they need to relax and rest. Outside time as much as possible in the afternoon and dinner is together, allow the kids to help. Also limit drink choices to milk, water and 100% juice. Look in to organic milk, it seems to help cut down on some of the hyperactivity. Also if you can remove toys from the bedroom, and send your child there after out bursts eventually he'll wear himself out. Try and get him in to group things (sports), which i know is hard because you don't know how he'll act, but its a progress that he'll start seeing how other children his age act and he'll start to get the point. Let us know how things go.

get them to a neurologist for testing and possible medication and get them to a therapist for behavior modification. If you need more information, let me know. I might be able to help you with some questions, but this is what I do for my son right now who is 7 and has adhd and was diagnosed at 4 years old. Best of luck to you and your family.

Hi M., I do not have any advice for you but I will say some prayers for you. If the saying is true the Lord must have a lot of faith in you for sending you these issues. Hang in there. I'm sure you will get some encouraging responses. The Mamasource moms are the best. Grandma Mary

You are doing too much
You need to put your children before your online classes.Specifically as you have 3 toddlers and you dont say that you are having any home help from anyone. 4 hours sleep with those issues is not enough. They need a lot of attention at this age.Been there dome that. You have to define boundaries and be very clear what is acceptable and not acceptable. Children are highly imitative. Simplify your home and establish a routine and stick to it. You have to be calm and assertive.
If your child is classified as developmentally disabled you can get help through ARC or Springbrook. You need balance and help.

Call your school district and get him evaluated. He's 3, so he's eligible for evaluation. If they find he has behavioral issues, they will put him in a pre-k program with ABA therapies and any other therapies they think he needs - and pay for it. My son is "on the spectrum" and has behavioral issues, and ABA therapy has been a true godsend!! We both learned how to communicate with each other, and I learned what works for him and he's like a new child. Good luck!!

Have you had him evaluated by an occupational therapist? My son had similiar issues and had been given all sorts labels. He's been getting occupational therapy for about 7 months and just started early intervention preschool this fall. It's like night and day. He's so calm and cooperative now. The therapist felt he had sensory processing disorder and the school agreed. This is something if treated early can be completely remedied. Basically he was so overwhelmed by noise and touch that he did ANYTHING to avoid it. Even if it's something else - getting him evaluated by early interventon, a child psychologist and and occupational therapist will give you some direction. Early intervention is free and insurance will often cover the other two. Good luck.

M.,

How does a child that young get diagnosed with ODD? I am amazed!

I have a couple of suggestions, but no direct experience.

Try for testing for aspberger's/autism too.

There are support groups for all of the above: ADHD, ODD, Autism. Find one on the internet. See if your town/county has one that meets. GO to the meeting(s) and just listen. There are many people who have been there before.

Remember, it is your son's story, not yours. :) Listen to him too. Make a little 1:1 time for all your kids. Even 5 minutes helps a lot.

Try: putting out your hands, palm up. Ask him to put his hands on yours (he may slap at first, that's okay, he's just got to get used to it). Talk to him in this position, too; cross-legged or on a chair directly across from him. Let him know he is the center of the conversation, and he has input too.

Low voice, no emotion except positives, and talk slow with good diction (clear, no contractions and on his level).

This is a start. There are a ton more things you could be doing, but this is just one.

I wish you luck and much joy in the future with your children.
M.

First I would look into any support groups for parents with children with ODD. They can give you information about discipline techniques for you. Also, I would try counseling for your son (especially a therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT) as well as for the family as this disorder obviously affects you all. I feel for you- I know that children with ODD are hard to deal with. If you are not sure where to look for help, try your sons pediatrician and also check out what early intervention services are available. Your county should pick up the tab since he is three years old.

I'm so glad that some one asked this question. I'm going throught the same thing right now with my 4 year old son. I thought and felt like I was the only one. he has the same exact thing. It is very difficult to control him. Right now my son is being evaluated at the Yale Child Study center. My son has been kicked out of 2 daycare centers because of him being out of control. I wish that I had some advise but I don't because I don't know how to handle my son either. The one thing that I have learned is you need to set limits. Make sure if he is not listening you go through with a timeout or taking something away after a warning and don't give in to whinning. Everyday is very stressful. I'm hoping that the Child study center will give me some ways to help me out and i will pass it along. Good luck.

Hi M.,
I agree with the posts that suggest the early intervention through the school district. My son is ADHD with ODD also. He is now 7. I know how exasperated you feel. I still have those days too. My son started in the CSPE program when he was 4. It is not a panacea though. You are going to have to be prepared to be his advocate the whole way. There are a variety of agendas in the public schools. We have been to the really, really bad and now we have a wonderful district. See a developmental pediatrician to rule out the physical stuff. (We were ok there...) Educate yourself on your son's rights. There a bunch of stuff on the internet. Know what a 504 plan and and IEP are (there are differences). You sound like you will need this level of protection to keep your son in school when he gets there. My son has a hard time in the classroom setting and the Special Ed gives him the latitude to have alternatives that the school is required to offer.
We are now on a combination of medication and therapy. Hopefully someday we can get off the medication. It was the hardest decision to make but it actually brought him relief. The psychologists can work with you to develop a behavior plan. At age 3, the physch talked to me more than my son. It certainly helps. The one thing for the ODD that makes a huge difference is to give your son the illusion of choices. If we wants to be in control, give him 2 choices. They can both be positive or one can be a consequence but it will enable him to feel in control but with boundaries that you set. We also created a board with pictures (because he couldn't read at the time) of things that he needed to do. Clothes, Toothbrush, dinner etc... so that he knew what to expect every morning and every night. They seem to crave daily structure. It's not easy. You never know what kind of day you have ahead of you. But, start early, stay vigilant and you will be able to see the progress as he matures. Write if you need to, we all need to know there is support out there for moms like us!

My brother has ADHD and ODD. He's 23 now and doing fine for himself and seems too have outgrowm most of it. He still has anger issues. I don't have any suggestions for you, but don't worry about those friends you lost. They weren't good ones if they didn't stick by your side during your hard time.

A very close friend of mine has a son with ODD. She takes him to a therapist who specifically deals with this type of behavior. She also attends therapy with her husband for support & to learn how to handle the behavior as well as it affects the whole family. Check with your pediatrician for some child psychologists you can take him too. Best wishes.

Hi Miriah,

This may sound nuts to you, but I have come to find out in my "natural nutritional herbal studies" that ADHD and the like are GIANT lack of basic nutrition that we are not getting in our daily diets. I can help if you are serious and want to try a nutritional juice-a SEA PLANT that is loved by children and everyone for that matter, and has ALL THE TRACE minerals that we all need to be BALANCED! This product has added nutrition-all veggy based so there is no worry about allergy or indigestible matter. This may or may not help, but behavior problems are such that doctors love to push the drugs that destroy ones ability to think and act balanced and doctors do not know about nutrition and the power of it.(Some do-most do not)
So if you have an interest, call me or go to http;//mariji.limuplus.com
I hope this helps. I can be reached at ###-###-####-all my nutritional products are well priced and help balance people so
they can be normal and continue their life style. God Bless and good luck! M. G

Hi M.,

I think it might be helpful if you could get some "respite care" and counseling from someone who knows a lot about how to handle children with ODD. You could try to qualify for Medicaid, which covers services for children with developmental disabilities. I'm not sure if ODD is classified in this way, but it might be worth a try.

This is the contact information I found on the internet:

Administrative Offices & Developmental Center

888 Fountain Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11208
Phone: ###-###-#### (days)
Phone: ###-###-#### (evenings)
Fax: ###-###-####

Community Services Administration
888 Fountain Avenue
Building 1
Brooklyn, NY 11208
Phone: ###-###-####
Fax: ###-###-####

Good luck!!

B.

M.,
I hope you already know that your son can be evaluated for treatment through your school district. I recommend this because early intervention can be very helpful. They can help him with his behavior and teach you how to help. They can also evaluate him for language problems or other learning issues.
In addition, you should ask your pediatrician if evaluation by a developmental pediatrician, neurologist or psychiatrist might be warranted.
CHADD, the organization for people with ADHD usually has a support group for parents of preschoolers. Find your local chapter at http://www.chadd.org.
I am a nurse practitioner who works with children like your son. If you have additional questions, feel free to contact me.
All the best,
C.

I really can't offer you much advice, but I can tell you that I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. I have ADHD myself and although they say they can't test her for it, I'm pretty sure she has it as well. She also has OCD and ODD. I don't know what to do with her most of the time. My husband and I try time-outs but they don't work with her and anything else we've tried just makes everything worse. Maybe you can pass any advice on to me as well.
F.

There are a great line of supplements out there specifically designed for children that may be of help. One in particular I know people personally who have had benfitted from. It's called OPC-3. ONe of my good friends had his son diagnosed as ADD and was recommended to put him on meds - he didn't like the idea so looked for a more natural approach. He put his son on a multi and the OPc (both from Market America) and had great results. So good that the teacher actually told him thank you for medicating his son. (the fight to ensue is another story)

This was awhile ago when these supplements were made only for adults, now the company came out with the same supplements but geared towards kids (like kid-approved flavors)You can find them at www.marketamerica.com - - they even have a section on the science behind the product so you can really take a look at why they are so good.

Good luck and good health!

I have a 15 year old diagnosed with the same things. They dropped the bipolar a few weeks ago.

When was the last time your child's lead level was tested? Start there. When my son was 2 he acted the same way. I just figured since I had two "good" kids, I was bound to have a handful with the next one. Turned out he had lead poisoning.

Since your child is so young, they really cannot determine a label for him/her until him/her starts school and becomes a problem. The same with medication. I had to wait until my son was in kindergarten and set the bed on fire while I was in it before they thought it was serious enough for medication. (Not recommending this happens to you).

What I have done and still do with my son is to tell him to do something and immediately say thank you. It threw him off at first but he did it anyway because I said thank you expecting him to do it. Also try changing diet. The weird thing is my son's doctor told me to give him Cappachino before bedtime. It calmed him down so he could sleep.

Like I said before, check the lead levels first.

Nanc

I was a special education teacher and my suggestion is to go to your school district and tell them your situation. If your son has been diagnosed by a doctor you should be able to get preschool services for your son through your district. It would be beneficial for him to attend a preschool that specializes in early intervention. Most preschools that have programs for special needs students also have programs to help parents learn how to help their kids.