Please Help with Nightmare Neighbors!

Maybe the other mom needs some female time and you are all she gets. I understand that because I know I need time away from my daughter but at proper times. Suggest a Moms Night Out without the kids (the dads watch the kids at their own homes not at the same home).

If that is not an option find a babysitter you both can agree on (split the cost, it is cheaper to hire one babysitter to watch 2 kids then hiring 2 babysitters) and go some where while the kids play (not around nap time). This way you know someone is watching the kids yet the other mom gets that time with you she wants.

Or if you really don't want to be around the this other person then don't go over. If you are uncomfortable with what she suggest and does not listen to what you say while she keeps pushing for it then she is not looking for a true friend or playmate for her son. Tell her that you prefer not to leave your daughter unsupervised but would love to sit and talk to her where the children are playing (living room, yard, playroom, whatever).

Also tell her that you need to talk with you hubby(significant other) about when you will be letting your daughter sleep over and do not want her telling your daughter things you have not agreed to. It really sounds like the lady is using your daughter to get what she wants. I was not aloud to sleep over till I was 6 years old and that was same sex sleepover... I really can't remember ever having a sleep over with boys (maybe in 6th grade but the boys were on the same level as the parents while the girls were in the basement with a female adult). I was taught that you do not sleep with boys till you are married (of course this excluded my brothers, I shared a room with them on vacations). Just tell her that you do not approve of sleepovers with boys, especially at this age, and that you would appreciate it if she would stop bring up the topic or telling your daughter things you have no agreed to.

If she gets all huffy puffy about it and does not respect your views boundaries you don't have to be friends with her. You can't get away from being her neighbor so be cordial to her but just tell her this is how I am raising my daughter and would like to be respected for that, you don't have to agree with it but at least respect my rules/boundaries my hubby(significant other) and I have set for our family. Adding that your significant other and you have talked about this will reinforce that you mean business and will not waiver.

Best wishes... I hope you find common ground or part ways without to much fuss.

Personally, I would be uncomfortable as well with both the overly eager to have your daughter sleeping over and to letting my daughter play in a room alone at 3. I agree that going over there in the early morning or afternoon is your best option if you have to see this woman, but I'd also limit the amount of time spent with her.

I happen to have a rather aggressive son and at the age of 3, I would never let him play unsupervised with other kids in case he had an outburst. This mother obviously has very different boundaries than you. I would not go over to her place but instead invite them out on walks with the kids or to the playground (outdoor time is very helpful for aggressive kids) or to your place and model engaging the kids in a fun ut supervised activity. Then as other posters suggested arrange a moms night out.

This won't help with the neighbor but a great place to meet other moms is a local MOPS group. You can find one online. Good Luck!

Valerie,
Wow!! I am not sure what to tell you. I guess I would ask them over to your place to play and leave the door open and have some different things set out for the kids to do. Hopefully, the other mom can learn from you. I understand that it is nice to "get away" but, if that is what the other mom wants I would tell her she needs to hire a sitter.

I agree with what the others have said. Keep the time together short and sweet and don't have them have a sleep over especially since the mom is so pushy about it!!
Good luck!!
A.

Don't go over there anywhere near your daughter's bedtime and if invited explain it's your daughter's bedtime in 30min. or whatever and tonight won't work maybe another time.

Try and keep your visits earlier the day,evening.

As far as kids playing alone in a bedroom 3 years isn't that young.