Please Help My Nephew Is Failing to Thrive

Is the baby wetting more than 5 diapers a day? If he is wetting he is doing fine. Both of my breastfed sons lost almost 2 lbs in their first month. I breast fed on demand and never wok them up to eat. My youngest slept all the time. Try not to worry if she keeps trying he'll get it. :) Tell her she not to give up she is doing a wonderful thing for her baby.

My advice is to feed the child by anyway possible. Breast milk is great but formula is good too. The most important thing is that the child eat and thrive. My daughter was only bottle fed and is a very healthy one year old.

If it were my baby, I would try anything to help him put on weight. I know breast milk is bad, but I have 2 very healthy, happy children who had breast milk as well as formula.

Maybe she could rent or buy one of the top of the line pumps to help stimulate her milk and put it into a bottle. I fed my oldest with my breast milk through a bottle because I had mastitis and I couldn't handle the pain of breast feeding.

I wish her goodluck!!

I had a friend that her little baby boy would not nurse so she pumped and fed it to him in a bottle. Tell your niece to pump and don't forget to freeze...Mommy milk is like GOLD!!!!!

L. it's Tiff... I had the same problem with my daughter!! She never did nurse :( I had no problem with my son but she just had no interest.. That was nine years ago and I don't remember ever hearing of nipple shields to trick her, but if it works... What a great idea!! My only option after several visits to the lactation consultant was to pump and bottle feed. As hard as it was at first it was really convenient later on and he would still have all the same good breast milk :) Give your niece a hug and tell her I wish her luck! I was a very young 17yo mom and it is one of the hardest things to work through!!

She really should take him into the doctor or call the advice nurse to see what they feel is best. If he only wants to bottle feed and she wants him to have breastmilk, she can use a pump and feed her milk to him in a bottle. I hear that if you pump exclusivly that your milk supply could dry up, so have her pump along with nursing time on the breast to keep things going just to be safe. Best of luck to them both.

Hi, my daughter was born prematurly, she did have breathing problems, as well as keeping her levels down. my best advise is for her to realize that there is nothing wrong with her but the baby just doesnt want the natural way. i pumped and still gave my daughter breast milk. I also have a friend that the same problem occured, she was literally starving her baby. her son ended up having to be hospitalized for a week to try and get his weight up. she still gives him breast milk but also supplments his milk with a formula that gives him those extra calories that he needs. breast milk is better but the fact that she has tried so far to give it to him is better than him not recieving any. my daughters doctor told me any amount is better but there are good formulas out there that are natural and organic. tell her good luck, i do feel for her i was a young mom too, my best advise for her, follow your own insticts, your natural motherhood will come along.

Hi L.-
Kudos to your niece for trying to stick with the breastfeeding. Not sure if I have advice on how to get him to latch on better, but thought I'd share my experience because it was so similar. With my last child (just turned 1) I was bound and determined to breastfeed her. We also had trouble getting her to latch on. For the first week, she would eat every 1-2 hours for about 10 minutes on each side, but was not gaining enough weight. After that, she would eat for almost 30 minutes on each side, every 2-3 hours. This went on for the first 3 1/2 months. I did finally switch to the bottle because I was so worried about her health ( we spent a week in the hospital at 3 months old which was prolonged in part b/c of her being underweight). Although it was not what I wanted to do, it was better for my baby. She immediately began to gain weight after I switched to the bottle, and has thrived since then. I know how difficult it can be, feeling like you can't even feed your own baby when it's what is natural. Your niece should know that sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work. It's not anything she's done wrong, but it may be better for the baby, especially since he was started on the bottle because of the complications. And the lactation consultant, and the doctor should have told her that even the amount of breastmilk he's gotten so far will go a long way in preventing illnesses. Commend your niece for her efforts, support her no matter what she chooses to do and let her know she's not alone in this. Good luck.

hi L.,
my son was born with pneumonia and was in the nicu for a week after. they wouldn't let me attempt to breastfeed for the forst 3-4 days as well until he was stabilized. i pumped during that time so they started him on a bottle and fed him breastmilk. it took him a while to "get it right" with the breastfeeding, but even then, he didn't take to it so well. i just kept pumping and would try nursing. sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn't. when he didn't want the breast, i made sure i always had a bottle ready so that he was still eating. i know she wants to breastfeed, but she might have to try alternating to make sure he is getting enough food.

my son would not nurse either. i ended up pumping and feeding this breast milk through bottle. good luck and remind her that it is more important for him to thrive and live than for him to actually suck from her.

Sounds like they need a doctor, a specialist, a professional, something....There is obviously something going on with this baby that only a doctor can detect.

Dear L.,

My heart goes out to your nephew's mom. The whole breastfeeding thing is hard enough with a baby who does want to nurse let alone one that is having difficulty. I have a couple thoughts from experience.

First, my baby was early and jaudiced which made her EXTREMELY sleepy. Breastfeeding was next to impossible as she wouldn't wake. My lactation consultant had me weighing her before I nursed her. Then weighing her after I nursed her. I then fed her breastmilk in a bottle to make up for the difference that she didn't drink. This worked really well because I knew how much my daughter was getting and she seemed a lot happier. That being said, Does the mom have a breast pump? I ABSOLUTELY could not have lived without mine. After a few weeks, I just couldn't breastfeed anymore but still wanted my daughter to have breastmilk, I ended up pumping about 6 times a day until she was around 8 months old. Although I am a little sad that she didn't breastfeed in the traditional sense, I realized that the ultimate goal was to nourish my daughter. I did my best to ignore everything out there about bonding and nursing and did the best that I could. It turns out that having her take a bottle early had its perks... I was afforded more freedom because other people could feed her and could share in the responsibility of putting her down for naps and bedtime. If she doesn't have a pump- I strongly suggest the Medela Double Breast Pump. (don't waist time or money on a hand pump. And if she plans on pumping a lot, I also could not have lived without the Easy Expressions Pump Bra... It makes the pumping thing virtually hands free!)

That being said, I've done research on why a baby might have difficulty breastfeeding. One reason could be if the baby is tongue-tied... Meaning the skin underneath his tongue that connects the tongue to the mouth is too short. This means the tongue can't stick out of his mouth far enough to massage the nipple. It is an easy fix from what I have read. My doctor also mentioned that babies that have a high palette will have difficulty breast feeding.

I guess my final thoughts would be for the mom to keep the ojective in mind- get the baby fed- whether it be breastmilk or formula. I think the breastfeeding movement is amazing, but at the same time, every mom needs to do what works for them and the baby. My sister-in-law reminded me that it is a team effort and if the nursing doesn't work for all members of the team, than you need a new game plan.

Best of luck,
K.

Hi L.,
I think you should give him formula,if he does not want the breat milk thats ok,theres nothing wrong.My son is 5 and I did not breat feed him,he is a happy,energetic,smart,healthy little boy.Best wishes to you and your family.
Sincerely,P. T

Hi L.,

I had to pump separately. She may be able to have her insurance pay for all or part of a pump since it looks like it may be required. They did for mine. It is time consuming and I quit after 6 weeks but she sounds pretty determined. She may be better at it than me... depending on where you live, I still have mine. You would just have to buy a new kit... It's a Medela, heavy duty one too...

L.

Of course breast milk is the best for babies but at this point she is going to have to give him some formula. I nursed my son and gave him formula. When it came time for him to no longer be breastfed we had no problems.
Tell her to talk with the baby's pediatrician. It's normal for newborns to lose some weight in the very beginning but you do not want him to starve.
Seriously, supplement the breast milk with formula. I would give my son 1-2 ounces of formula then breast feed him. Sometimes he would only feed on one side so at the next feeding he would have the formula then nurse on the other side. It worked great for us.
Most important........talk with the babys doctor!!!! Lactation consultants are nice and knowledgeable but are ALL about breastfeeding only and will completely discourage her from supplementing with formula.
Let me know how it goes for her. Good luck!

Hi L.,

I was going to just give a tiny bit of advice. Yes breast milk is "better" however, pumping it into a bottle and using formula as a back up is as healthy and in your case much more healthy than trying to make the little guy use the breast. I am having a hard time understanding the reasons for pushhing so hard. Every baby is not able and willing to breast feed. If nature says the bottle is the answer and baby is trying to tell you that as well, better not to argue, just get a pump and use that method. Under fed babies are much more unhealthy than all formula babies.

Good luck, God Bless
C.

she should be pumping not only to keep up her supply, but to feed to him in bottles, if that is all he will take. i know how hard it can be, but she needs to just try to stay relaxed and keep trying. hospitals and la leche league can help her get a good pump.

Has she tried giving him breast milk in a bottle instead of forcing him to nurse. It doesn't matter how he gets the breast milk as long as he gets it!
My twins were in the NICU for 5 weeks and I pumped and they were bottle fed and turned out fine.
The MOST important thing is that he gains weight NOT whether he nurses or not!

First and foremost Congratulations on your new addition! As for your nephew not nursing, My daughter was hospitalized immediately after birth as well and was unable to nurse for about four days. When she did get a chance to nurse she was eager but not really sure how, due to the tubes that were down her throat. I continually pumped my milk every 2-3 hours just as if my baby were nursing and bottle fed it to her that way. I was very adamant that my daughter breast feed though so I did buy the breast shield, and used that. At about 8 weeks, when my daughter was awake and calm, but hungry I would offer her the breast without the shield. Typically she would latch on with no problems. I done this for about a week and a half and now my daughter is four months old and can practiacally latch on by herself blindfolded. Most babies are very sleepy in the begining. I had to wake my daughter as well and even then she would only wake up enough to open her mouth. I think mainly that the key to breast feeding successfully is staying calm and patient, if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Even if he doesn't get the hang of breast feeding, giving him breast milk in a bottle is just as good. Just tell her not to force it, stay strong and before she knows it she will be unable to get him off! I hope this helps, good luck and once again Congratulations!

Dear L.,
It sounds like your nephew's mom is doing a great job with trying to take care of her son and you've already got lots of practical feeding advice. I was just thinking that it might help with their bonding if she's either sleeping with him and/or holding him a lot, so that he's getting as much skin to skin contact as he needs to attach (emotionally) properly, even if he doesn't end up breastfeeding. She may already be doing that, but especially if she ends up bottle feeding, that extra contact time will be really important. She might also want to try another lactation consultant - one who comes recommended from a good midwife or doula may have a different take on things than the one she worked with already. I wish them much success.

I am not sure but tell her not to give up. She should pump the milk though if she is worried that he will not get breast milk.it seems that the form he gets it in is the "problem". She may not be able to give it to him from the breast but as long as he gets the nutrients. Another thing that she might want to wait until he is really hungry and try the breast.

Hello, sorry to hear about that. I would suggest pumping, so that atleast he gets breast milk but the way he prefers it. I would also recommend lots of stimulation and make sure you hold the baby as much as possible, because failure to thrive is also a side effect of not enough stimulation which babies need from their mother.

Aw. I feel so bad for her. I know she's tried everything. But dropping 1/5 to 1/7 of body weight is not good at all. I would probably just pump, and give him breast milk with the bottle, but I would nuzzle his cheeks close the bare breast so he associates touch with his needs. That part of the bonding, and he'll be getting the nourishment of the breast milk. I know of an 18 year girl who just had a baby boy a month ago. I surprised to find out she chose not to breastfeed.

I can understand wanting to breastfeed your child because it is the most natural and best thing for a baby. But if the baby is not thriving maybe formula should be introduced so he can thrive. Maybe she can try to do both.Both of my boys were fed with soy formula and they healthy kids that have hardly been sick a day in their life.

I went through this with my first as well. She had to stay in the hospital for the first week and for the first three days the doctor would not let me feed her, poor little baby. Then the nurses were giving her the bottle whenever I wasn't around (I had long been released from the hospital and had to go home to sleep and etc.).

Essentially what happens is they learn to feed from the bottle -- they imprint on the shape of the bottle nipple and the mechanics of swallowing the quicker gushing bottle milk. That is why he's "doing something funny with his mouth". He's learned to mold the shape of his mouth and tongue so as to nurse from the bottle. And he doesn't understand he should do it differently for the nipple.

Anyway, she can try doing the pump and bottle feed to supplement -- this will relieve some of the fullness in her breasts as well and help keep up her supply. La Leche League rents them out low cost to moms. http://www.lalecheleague.org You'll need to work through them to find a local person. Nice folks. They do lactation coaching as well.

How my own story turned out is that I got tired of feeling like I was subjecting my little one to constant frustration and hunger -- and me to constant frustration and feelings of failure -- and I eventually conceded after a few weeks that mine was too stubborn to get her to work for it on the breast... when she could get it easily from the bottle. (If they suckled as hard on the bottle as they have to do on the breast, they would choke and gag on all the milk that gushed forth.)

As it turned out it was good we did this as we had some other issues come up down the road and I needed to be able to have her daddy take turns with getting up in the night and etc. And obviously he couldn't breastfeed her....

Now...after years of experience, 2 more babies, and becoming immersed in parenting info and professional early childhood training I finally realize that the important thing about breastfeeding wasn't really the breast milk.... it was the cuddling and bonding. Breastfeeding is a snuggly pleasant enjoyable sensation for baby and mother that is mutually pleasurable on a deep physical and emotional level. And this helps forge the bond.

But if it's just a battle... And the battle doesn't end even after considerable effort and expert help... What good is it doing?

In other words, are we happy yet?? No? So move on and get on with the mutual happiness in other ways!

:-)

I'm sorry that he is having such a hard time! I went through the same type of situation with my daughter when she was born. She was a month early and had a very hard time nursing. She refused to do it and would fall asleep on my constantly!!

What I did was I would pump in between feedings to store and the supplement that when she would fall asleep on me. The nurse that I had was wonderful and she also explained that some babies have a different reaction to the epidural and it causes them to sleep for abnormal amounts of time and it is difficult to wake them up. She put me on a log to see how much she would nurse and if she would gain any weight. I would wake her up every 2 hrs without fail strip her down to her diaper and just work with her to latch on. I would mark down the time I started how long she nursed and how much I would supplement with the bottled breast milk. I had the same shields and those were a life savor!! Once I got her on the routine she started to be more active and then eventually she latched on her own. I will be honest it was a while before we had everything worked out but it was worth it.

I have Kaiser and they have a great after birth classes that help with breast feeding and one on one consultation.

Tell her to keep up the good work and it will pay off!!

Please let me know if you have any questions...having gone through it I know how alone she must feel!

Why not pump? They only thing that matters is that hes getting the breast milk right? I was never able to breast feed, I was in labor 50+ hours and had a c-section, I nursed her but with nothing coming out it was frustrating for both of us so we supplimented and I pumped every day for hours on end with nothing coming out, It was hard but in the end as long as they're healthy (and my daughter is, shes only been sick with a sinus infection and had 1 diaper rash that was more of a food allergy reaction) thats all that matters in the end. WIC has double pumps you can rent, as well as singles, If she chooses to supplement, babies'r'us has the best prices when it comes to formula, you dont have to get the powder, you can get a small bottle of the ready-to-go formula, I'd suggest the Enfamil with Lipil, if she has wic she'll be getting the Similac advance with Iron, so you might want to get that if thats what she plans to do to avoid any gassiness from switching formulas. Good luck!

Hi! Good For Her! Let Her know she shouldn't give up. Like the previous response, don't switch breasts. Breast milk is the best thing for baby and nurseing without the bottle, if possible, is the best also. Becasue it streagthens jaws musles in a way bottle feeding can't and the skin to skin contact is proven to aid in brain development. Also, if possible, she should not supliment with formula, but pump if she can.Right now her milk supply is reglating itself and can take four weeks to do so. Has she tried all the postions to breastfeed? My son (born 3/11) only nurses for about 10 or 15 mins at a time. and an hour or so later can be hungry again. Ask her to get a second laction consultant. Maybe another person knows something the first one didn't. La leche league is great and free. Lalecheleague.com Wish her good luck! I hope it works out for her, nursing can be tough in the beginning...

Hi! Hope this isn't too late and I don't mean to scare your neice but my daughter was brought to me after 3 days. It wasn't 'til the 4th day that doctors suggested snipping the bottom connector of Baby's tongue (the tissue underneath.) I was told she wouldn't feel it - Hooey! OF course they feel! But I was also told she might develop a speech impediment due to her shortened tongue. How they discovered it was that she visibly had a heart-shaped tongue - it indented at the tip when she opened her mouth. I thought it over with my husband - whom she got this trait from(!)- and we decided to go with thtat thought that, hopefully, a little pain would go a long way for her in the long run. So we allowed the doctor to ever-so-slightly snip under her tongue. She wailed. And nursed immediately afterward. And she performed like a DREAM. Her tongue had prevented her from strengthening her suckle.
Hard choices but I knew from my husband's experience that it was better earlier rather than later. My daughter and I were both further consoled when her attempts at breasfeeding were successful. I couldn't ask for better. I just think it takes a good doctor/lactation specialist with a good eye to see at which point the suckling is weakest. Also, I think it absolutely best for the baby to maximize on HIND MILK, as Rebecca P from San Deigo suggested. Hind Milk is nursed by infant after the first few minutes and is where the fuller/fatter milk is supplied. Your neice will see and improvement in her infant's weight if she nurse longer on one side, if not both. And weight isn't all that improves. Milk fat is required for Brain Development. Not to be mistaken for any kind of fat. It is just richer for baby. Anwya, all the best to you and yours. Congratulations on your new addition to the family!!!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps it could be that the babys not getting a good enouph grip on the nipple, ask a pediatrician or lac consultant about a possible fenulum problem. It may need to be clipped (its the small part under the tongue that helps the tongue stretch around the nipple). Determination is a wonderful quality she needs to continue with, give mom lots of praise and let her know that he will get it, it may just take awhile. Getting him the breast milk is imperative though..Do you have a Pump to pump the milk? Try different positions w/ him also. Football hold with a pillow under to help with support or Boppy. Mom needs to be as comfortable as possible.
Call le Leche group and ask if someone could come out to help. I noticed with my kids that the shields and other "helpful" products just prolonged the nursing agony and it confused them even more.
She will make it! And he will come around, they've already gone through some other hurdles. Perseverance pays off, it took 2 1/2 months for my 2nd daughter to finally grasp it(she's the one that eventually had her fenulum clipped, my last resort) I was extremely determined to nurse and continued to do so for 22 months. I have lots of nursing experience and I know what it feels like to want to give up but its the greatest reward if she endures these first few bumps in the road.

My son had the same problem. I had already sucessfully nursed 3 children for 1 1/2 years each, so I was stumped and frustrated, but new it was possible. My son was a little premature and his sucking mechanism was not fully developed yet - since breast feeding requires harder sucking than bottle feeding... I had to use sterile gloves and put my finger in his mouth and massage the roof of his mouth until I had a really strong suck on my finger - then I would transfer him to the breast. I had to do this for about 3-4 weeks.

I nursed all 4 of my children - not one of them nursed for longer than 7 minutes on each side except for their last night time feeding - and all grew healthy - baby number one is now 5'6" :).... and all 4 babies nursed every 3 - 4 hours. As newborns it was closer to every 3 hours, but not always. 10 minutes may be plenty for both of them to get what they need.

Last - I suggest your niece manually pump milk so that she can offer the baby a bottle a day - just to make sure he is getting one good feeding. I suggest the Avent manual pump - the best way to do this is to pump one breast while the baby is nursing on the other - takes a little coordination, but you will get a lot more milk if you can pump when the baby initiates the let down on the other breast. Then when you switch breasts - switch the pump. The morning feeding is the best you can get almost 8 ounces of milk this way and that way you don't have to pump very often to get that one bottle a day for the baby.

Mom and baby should be sleeping a lot now - it's only been 10 days...

Good Luck - if you or mom have any questions please feel free to ask - I had my first at 19 - it can be tough, but now that she is a straight A student in her Jr. Year of High School - I can only be so proud of her.

First off...breast milk is NOT the best thing for babies. It really depends on the child's needs. The formula these days are just as good as breast milk, the only difference...breast milk is CHEAPER!!! It could be something the mother is eating, that the baby doesnt like and all together he may NOT like eating and drinking from the breast. My youngest child was like that. Very similiar situation, dropping weight, couldnt figure out why and with the push from my husband I changed to the bottle and formula and he is very very healhty. There are other alternatives, she should try pumping and give the baby the breast milk in a bottle. If all else fails, then it is time to get the baby some formula.

First, I'm sorry to hear that your nephew is having such a rough start.

For the record, I can't stand people who say that babies are lazy. Grrr.

My son lost a lot of weight after he was born, and he wouldn't latch on...and I was bound and determined to have him breastfeed because I had been sucked into the "breast is best"...and I do believe it is, for the most part. I tried everything to get him to nurse and felt like such a failure when he just refused and kept losing weight...talk about a lot of tears!! I finally got a breast pump and gave him my breast milk via the bottle. Has his mother tried that?

My first thought, after getting annoyed at the person who said he was "lazy", was that no matter what, I hope his mother doesn't get caught up in the, what I call "false advertisement from the Le Leche League" that breastfeeding is easy and natural...it's hard and it's not for everyone...and that is OKAY. I kicked my self for five months trying to get my little man to latch on ... to no avail... but he did get breast milk for those five months and then he switched to formula...and he is a healthy 15 month old who weighs in at 30lbs!!!

If she can, ask Mom to contact a Home Health Nurse, I had the most wonderful lady come to my home at no charge for three months to help me...and we've since become friends...check to see if the county she lives in provides this service. Otherwise, check to see if there is a Breastfeeding "Clinic" in her area...it's also free of charge, the ladies here accepted me into their office bawling "like a baby" at my wits end and were so kind and understanding...with no judgment whatsoever. I do believe these two "services" saved me and my husband from going insane. lol

God Bless this mom for being so concerned and wanting to do the right thing by her baby...please just let her know that formula is not the worst thing that can happen to him.

SO, all in all, (and I'm sorry for the lengthy message)see if the hospital has breast pumps to loan out or rent and have her try that just to get some breast milk into the little darling.

I will keep her, you and the baby in my thoughts.

Hello L.,

When my daughter (who is 15months old) was born she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice which was cutting off some of her air supply and she also swallowed a lot of fluid on her way out. They didn't like her breathing and put her on oxygen when she was first born(after suctioning all the fluid out-and they sunctioned off an on for a few days) I never nursed, but she did not want to take to the bottle at all. We actually had to teach her how to suck by coaxing her jaw into a sucking like motion. They held us at the hospital an extra day until they were satisfied she would eat. Also, when we got home I stopped using the bottles from the hospital(w/ the orangish yellow nipples)and instead used the clear ones. She immediately drank from the new bottles as if she had never had a problem with it. She is an extremely picky child and Im thinking she was exibiting that pickiness from the get-go. It may not be as simple as that though... The nurses told me when she was born that sometimes a traumatic birth or if they have to suction fluid out of a baby sometimes causes them to not want to feed. It may also be that the baby will not take to the breast, which is the problem my friend had w/ her child. She tried and tried(he was in ICU) but he never really took and for his health they had to go to bottles filled with the breast milk she pumped.

It could be so many possibilities, but w/ the child being so young, Id definitely call the doctor. Babies do lose a pound or so after birth, but if the child continues to lose weight that is a big concern that the doctor should know about.

Best Wishes and good luck,
D.

I see that you said he feeds for 10 minutes on each side. Tell Mom to try not to switch breasts during the feeding and see if things might improve a bit. Make sure the first breast is finished before offering the second. He might not be getting the hind milk that he needs.

I hope my response isn't too late, but here it is. My first child, my son, was born and had breathing problems. He was aken fromme or observation and they asked my permission to give him a bottle. I was unaware of the consequences that were involved with my decision. My son was extrememly lazy and refused my breast. In the hospital I managed, with help, to get him latched on correctly and nursing. They told me that I needed to wake him up every two to three hours and make him eat. I was very young and I listened not knowing any better myself. I had a long two week struggle with my son and also was determined to get him to breast feed. I talked to my a few people who told me the best thing to do was to let him eat when he was hungry and to relax while he was nursing-very important.
Well, I had much more help with my second child, and thank God too. She was premature and only weighed six pounds at birth. As you know, all babies loose some wieght when they are first born. Well, the I found the most wonderful lactation consultant who had been in the business for 20 years who told me that she noticed in all babies who were 5 lbs or lighter all acted the same way... she called it the 5lbs club. My daughter was in that club... she had no intrest in nursing or eating. My lactation consultant reassured me that a baby who went more than 5 or 6 hours wasn't going to starve to death, they will eat when they are hungry. The most important part was the persistance, making sure that you are there ready and willing at the first sign that they are hungry. Well, anyway, the 5lbs club all had babies who were lazzy. They only wanted to sleep and they didn't want to eat. It came down to using something called a Foly cup. The purpose of the foley cup was to help expand the babies stomach without having to use something like a bottle which can cause problems with latching and laziness. Well, now that I've rambled on and on I want to encourage you to encourage your siser-in-law or sister you power on and that she can do it. She will feel overwhelmed at times, but to look into something like a foley cup to help him gain weight and let that baby passify on her and nurse constantly, that was the advice of my lactation consultant and it payed off!!! I hope you all find something that works!
M.