PLEASE HELP! How Do I Take Care of My 5 Month Old?

He is too stimulated. You are doing to many activities with him in one day. Probably why he isn't napping as long. I would also give him some time by himself-whether in his crib or a play pen with some toys. Let him entertain himself for awhile.

Sounds fairly normal. I wouldn't worry so much about "entertaining" him all day long. I did that with my 1st child too...told a girlfriend that already had a kid how I felt like we weren't doing enough. She told me like I"m telling you, they don't need that much. He may get fussy sometimes b/c there is too much interaction going on, like he's overstimulated. If you do what you need to do, it's ok to put him on the floor on a mat with a toy for a while. Or to use a wrist rattle, or to just have music playing in the background while you cook or clean up. I used to put my little one in the infant seat and bring her from room to room with me while I cleaned house. As long as I nararated and she could see me, she was happy. So it was like "Ok, now it's time to clean Mommy's room! I'm going to dust first...wow, look at all this dust. Next, we'll make the bed, now it's time to vaccuum..." etc. You don't have to be doing "baby" things all day. Even a trip to Target is engaging for a baby with all the sites and smells.

Whoa - by my count, this child is napping 5-6 times a day - 5:30 AM, 8:00 AM, 10:30 AM (?), 12:30 PM, 2:30 PM, and 5:30 PM. Then he goes to sleep at 7-ish.

So he's constantly up and down. None of his naps last very long, so he's not getting really good sleep. That's probably making him more fussy and whiny.

You need to get out more - stroller or errands - let him breathe the fresh air, be stimulated by other people/sights/sounds, and so on. Take him on errands, let him look at people in the mall or the stores, go sit on a swing in a park, and so on. Let him watch other kids. Go the library for a story - it's a new place, and there will be other kids there. Our library has story hours but also free play and puppet shows etc. Join or start up a play group that takes turns at different homes. Go to a local farm if you have one - let him look at the animals. Get a book on animal sounds. Take a long walk - even if he falls asleep in the stroller, you're getting out. He'll get more stimulation and he'll sleep longer at each clip. He should probably be on 2 naps a day.

Now, scale back your expectations for the house. You don't need to clean all that much, give yourself a break. Don't make the beds every day. Do more of the work on the weekend when your husband can take over the parenting. Try to cook a few meals on Sunday, then eat them during the week so that the daily prep is less. Sounds like his dad sees him 30 minutes a day, not counting during your dinner time. That's not enough.

So, give yourself a break, stop trying to do so much, and realize that you ARE a good mom even if you don't cater to your child's every need in 2 seconds.

Put him down for a naptime around 10 am... he should sleep for a good two hours. Get him up, feed lunch. Many babies this age take two, sometimes even 3 naps a day. Make his naps count ,over an hour, not these little 30 minute sleep sessions every few hours. It's not doing either of you any good.

Sometimes, I would go and take a nap with my baby and just pass out for an hour. I so needed it :)

And, I kindly disagree with the no tv watching. He is a very active baby and is getting very little tv... and it's Baby Einstein. Don't feel bad about those few minutes you entertain him with that.

Really though, it sounds like you are doing an excellent job and are a very committed mother!! You can certainly relax and let baby entertain himself for a little while. I think your husband needs to do more when he gets home instead of just hold him for a half hour before bedtime.

Hi S.,

Relax mama - frustration is part of the job for some of us. I think moms who aren't frustrated DO exist.... I just haven't met any of them.

The only thing I noticed from your schedule is that it all seems focused on your baby - which is good, but there's very little about activities for YOU. One of my favorite scenes from 3 men and baby is where Tom Selleck is reading the boxing magazine out loud to the baby and Steve Guttenburg tells him not to expose the baby to violence and Tom Selleck replies that the baby won't remember any of it and he's sick of reading baby books!!!!!!

Here is one of the things I did that may help. I sort of began an external stream of dialogue toward my daughter of what I was doing. So, she was learning, but I was sorta going about my day. So, if I was doing laundry I would say "mommy's going to do laundry. when we do laundry we sort the lights and the darks. See? this is dark so it goes in this pile and this is light so it goes in this pile. and this is soft and fuzzy so it hides the baby's head (cover the baby for a quick game of peek a boo) but it's also light so it goes in this pile. Now we put the lights in the washer and we use this much detergent..... etc etc etc.
I've always known the world was captivated by my voice!!!!! But seriously, she would watch everything I was doing and it kept her from being fussy. She talked pretty early and I attribute it to us having adult conversation from when she was a baby. So even if I was playing a game or cutting my toenails or making dinner or reading an adult book I just sorta showed my daughter what I was doing.

I also went to the swimming pool as often as I could and we swam together. Time consuming, tires her out and fun for me!!!!!!!!
The other thing is your library may have mommy and me story time for infants or your park district may have a mommy and me class. This way YOU can get some adult interaction. Seriously - we very rarely spent entire days at home - too boring for me!!!!

I think you're doing fine, you just have to do more of what you like. But babies at this age can't entertain themselves for long periods of time. A couple more months and they will be able to, but I remember at this age my daughter was strapped to me in one of those front carriers and I just went about my day!

And remember - Have fun :-)

Sounds normal to me. I too was searching for things to do. One thing I HIGHLY suggest to do is to stop letting your son watch TV. They have linked early tv watchers with attention disorders. It's been recommended to not let children watch tv till age 2. I started my son at 15 ish months and I'm glad I waited that long (it is near impossible for him not to watch any tv at my house. It's always on somewhere)
Once he becomes mobile it will get easier to entertain himself. My son was a clingy baby and had to be held 90% of the time. So i suggest to you is get a baby carrier and do your chores that way. My son LOVED seeing what I was doing from my point of view. He was entertained and I got a LOT done. It was nice and I suggest it to everyone :D
**I would make sure he got a nap at 8:30 or 9 unless he refuses. My son often times took 3 naps a day when he was that young. They need naps to let their brain catch up with all the learning.

I think you need to focus on getting him to take longer naps. 30 minutes is brutal for both of you. He needs longer naps in order to achieve a higher quality of sleep. You might want to check out Dr. Marc Weissbluth's book entitled "Healthy Sleep Habits."

My 3 month old is currently taking 2-3 hour naps at least twice a day, plus sleeping in 4-5 hour stretches at night. During the day I focus on helping him to get some good naps while we (my older kids and I) hang around the home, playing, doing chores, etc. I can't even imagine how frazzled we'd all be if the baby was only napping in 30 min increments.

I did not have a chance to read your other posts, so I appologize if this is similar information, but in reading your post what stood out to me most is the nap schedule. You may want to try getting him on a better nap schedule so you will have more time to do house work, rest, ect.
If he wakes up at 7, try to hold out until 9/9:30 to put him down for his first nap and then try to hold out until 12:30/1 to put him down for a second nap. This way maybe he will sleep longer and be less fussy as well as give you some breaks in the day.
Other than that, I can tell you that I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. This is a hard age because they can not really "do" anything yet. When he gets older and can play at the park, run around, etc you might feel less frustrated. Not sure what your living situation is, but you could also try a little baby pool or something since it is so hot. Also you may consider trying to have a "play date" with other moms, for this age it is really more about the moms having other mom to talk too, I know this helped me a lot. Good luck, you are doing great :)

Wow your schedule sounds awesome to me! I never had anything scheduled out like that, and from what I can remember with my 1st I rarely interacted with him that much (yikes that sounds bad)! You're doing a great job, I think the need to feel like you need to be doing more, comes with the territory, no worries needed!

Only thing I could suggestion is invest in a wrap or carrier, then you can 'wear' him and feel like you're getting more done :)

You can look into Mom's groups to get out of the house and connect with other moms in the area. Also a great way to make some awesome friends. Look into Meetup.com, that's a great site for moms groups/play groups.
The monotony and boredom of the infant stage can be difficult to get through on your own. Find support in other moms. It worked for me. Good luck

You are doing a great job! Give yourself a break and invest in a backpack to get the things done you want to. Also you may want to see if there is a 10-12 year old in the neighborhood who love to play with the baby while you get some stuff done around the house.
Motherhood is a full time exhausting job and while you are home with the baby and feel like you should/could be doing more in the house work department it just won't happen that way and that is ok.
Our babies are little for just a short time then go to school, and you will miss that time. Remember to take care of you too you are doing a great job!
J. O
mom to six

You are being too hard on yourself. Your boring day with a 5 month old sounds completely normal. It is almost impossible to get other things done when you have a baby, unless you have someone to help you.

Enjoy your baby. This won't last forever, even though it feels like it now. I promise you, you will blink, and you will be 50, and your kid will be grown.

Your schedule sounds just about right! The only thing we don't do is the TV watching (NOT judging you, we just are not home during the day to watch).

Your baby is not going to play or be entertained for more than 30 minutes at this age. He relies on you to hold him, feed him, and then hold him some more.

When I am home with my little one after work, I literally hold him for 2-3 straight hours because that is what he wants. They thrive on that contact with humans, mom especially.

Try to get as much as you can done during his naps. Get used to eating cold food and eating with baby on your lap. I cannot remember the last hot meal I ate without someone climbing on me.

My son naps about 2.5 to 3 hours per day in 30-45 minute increments (ie nap at 9 am, 12:30 then 2:45, 30 to 45 min naps each time. DS is 8 months). Your son is a little younger so he may take longer naps.

You are doing a GREAT job. Cut yourself some slack, get on the floor and play with your baby. Walk him around the front yard multiple times per day. Show him the flowers, trees, cars. Walk him around the house. I hold my DS while I do EVERYTHING - laundry, cleaning, etc. It takes more time and I am less efficient, but it still gets done!

Best wishes!

The best advice I was ever given and never wanted to listen to.. it is be so in tune to this new little person that you live around him. Don't expect him to just "fit in" to your old routines. He wants to look at your face hear your voice experience your movements lay down w him sometimes when you know he needs a nap. The Mom who explained the laundry sorting that is a fantastic way to get things done. Speak to him all about every little thing you do. I have one I could never ever put down I took my own bath w him on my thighs. I would put my hand on his chest so I could go under to rinse my face and hair and tie sweat pants to the ceiling fan and turn it on low for him to watch them go around everything in the world to keep him happy and interested in the world around him. I put him in his bouncy seat on top of the dryer w it running while i folded and talked to him about each silly thing. Take him for drives and sing the songs on the radio. The thing is it feels like FOREVER while you are in it then its like you closed your eyes and they are big and independent. It helps more than anything to educate yourself about child development the stages they go thru each step of the way then you can understand their little needs and go w the flow. Don't be alone all the time! Go to a jazzercise w childcare, mommy groups for the age your dealing w etc. When you add cereal to his diet stir in one big tablespoon of Dannon pure premium yogurt plain into it it helps the digesting and tummy issues he will sleep longer stretches be calm this too will pass! Mommy hugs to you girl! PS when they are CRABBY put them in water! LOL a little warm water in the kitchen sink and a cup to rinse him w washes the crankys right down the drain!

Your doing great! You are keeping your baby on a schedule. It seems like you are doing the educational parts early on, which is great. Reading, singing, playing with him is the beginning. When he older, about walking age you can take him to parks for the playground and the library for story hour. That's a start, you can read books for preschoolers when he's a toddler and introduce art. Since you are talented you can introduce instruments at an early age, or just use the preschool tamborine,drum,percussion sets so he can "play with you". It sounds like he has wonderful parents and off to a great start. I would find a co op where you meet other moms and start planning play dates. That will come quicker at a toddlers age than an infant stage. You can read up on Montessori methods for home has great ideas. I am a Montessori teacher and children can become more independent and creative. Keep up the great work!

wow, sounds like you have quite a schedule worked out! i wouldn't worry too much about making sure he is stimulated every moment he is awake. at that age they are learning things just by observing what's going on around them. getting out for walks, going to a park even just to lay on a blanket on the grass, running errands are all activities for him as well as you, and fresh air is great for everyone! i think my daughter napped for longer stretches at that point-a mid morning nap, an afternoon nap, and then maybe a little snooze while we ate dinner...i'm trying to remember because my second is almost 2 months old and i'll be trying to figure it out again soon ;-)

you are doing a great job as a mom, but a few suggestions for you:

*definitely join a moms group...go to momsclub.org and give your zip. i am part of the moms club in my neighborhood and it is awesome and was great when my first was a few months old and i really just needed some more adult contact-being a mom can be very isolating at times.
*enjoy the "boredom" now...wait till he's 2 and you will not have a second to breath! a 5 month old just loves his mommy and can't talk back yet!
*maybe get a mom's helper for a few hours a few times a week to give yourself a break and so that your son has some interaction with another person, hears a new voice, sees a new face, etc.
*if you can swing childcare, maybe get a part time job? again, the isolation thing...

your little boy is lucky to have a mommy like you and this time does go SO fast! good luck!

Why don't you go out onto baby center and join the "birth group" for the month he was born? There's lots of moms out there sharing frustrations, schedules, etc.

Also, there are several books out there (check the library) that talk about babies' development so you can learn about all the "new" things he's learning and will be able to do. It's fun to watch them learn new things.

What about a playgroup? Sounds like SAH Mommyhood is making you feel like the walls are closing in on you. You need to try to get out - with the baby and without.

It's hard making the transition to being at home with an infant when you're used to having adult conversations, problems to solve, etc. I know it's stifling sometimes.

I've totally been there too. Feel free to msg me if you like.

I completely understand your frustration. Life is SO different with a new baby. One thing that I learned later in my first son's infancy (and am using all the time now with my second) is to use a sling/carrier. The babies love it and love just being with you while you go about your day. My babies never liked just hanging out in the exersaucer or swing for more than 10 minutes or so. I found that i don't really need to "entertain" my baby when he is in his carrier. They just want to see what we're doing and will be so content to ride around with you while you clean or whatever. I like the Baby K'tan b/c it is easy to use, has different positions and is WAY more comfortable than the Baby Bjorn - we call that one the baby backbreaker. Here is a site that has a lot of different carriers. It may take some getting used to, but you'll both be much happier if you can find one that works for you. Good luck :)
http://www.peppermint.com/shop-by.html

.

seems pretty normal to me after having my two kiddos. but you need mommy groups. that was what helped me so much. moms clubs, meet up mom groups anything like that. there is a national moms group online and you can put in your zip code for a contact number. I did so much with my kids this young just for me and then eventually they got out of the daily or weekly stuff. Library, storytimes, .....the clubs are very creative and have a board to establish a month schedule. This stage of life with little ones are just a bit limited....so sounds like your doing all you can do.........but now get out and do more with the little one so your around other mommies with this age .

I didn't read the other answers, but he's tired. He's not getting nearly enough sleep for his age and that's why he's fussy and you are having to hold and entertain him all the time.

I love the routines from the Baby Whisperer - Tracey Hogg. She has a few books that not only let you know by age what their routine should look like but also help you get there. She teaches you to watch your baby and learn his cues for hunger and sleepiness and to respond to them. Also, how to teach them to go to sleep independently - no more feeding to sleep. Notice I said a routine and not a schedule :)

You can get her books on Amazon, bookstores and often the library. There is also a website and a message board with tons of help! Just Google for baby whisperer and you'll find it.

Good luck, I remember being where you are. I've been a SAHM for over four years, since my first was born. Now I have three :)

Being a mom is a continuous learning experience! Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

My kids (age 2 & 4) would take 2 hours of nap in the morning at about 10am & 2 more hours in the afternoon at about 3pm until they were like 18 months old.

I agree with previous posters. 30 minute naps are not nearly long enough for him to get the sleep he needs... it isn't just about the overall time during the day, but it takes a nap of a certain length for it to be "good" sleep. Sleep = brain development so this is super important. Please read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. There are many different fixes that need to happen, but the first might be to put him down earlier for bed so that he wakes up better rested in the morning. Also, if he starts to be fussy, you've waited too long to get him to sleep. Get the sleep in order and things will seem easier because you won't have to entertain him non-stop to keep him from being fussy.
Good luck!

When my oldest was little, our favorite thing to do was go to the mall and people watch. She loves people! I got to shop and she got to look at all the interesting people. Win-win.

Hi!
I don't have too much to add that's much different from what other people have already said - the only thing I thought of that I used to do with my daughter when she was that age was some baby yoga. I was skeptical at first, but I a friend gave me a book called Itsy Bitsy Yoga that explains different exercises to do with your baby depending on her age / ability (ex- sitting on her own). My daughter LOVED it! I did it before bedtime, but I think you could use it any time of day. When my daughter was that age, I too sometimes felt bored - I think it's normal! But the yoga would eat up about 20 minutes (give or take), and it was great interaction for the two of us.

I would also sometimes put some music on and sing to her, she loved that too.

I agree with all the moms that suggested longer naps. My son was always fussy as a baby and I believe it was because I didn't give him enough naps. I sort of felt like a "bad mom" if I put him down to sleep too often. But I learned my lesson (thankfully!) and my second baby slept A LOT and she was always happy!! In fact, the more she slept during the day, the better she slept at night! :-)
Also, I remember at that age my babies LOVED being in the stroller. I would consistently take them on 1-2 hour walks every day. It probably sounds like a lot if you're not used to walking that long, but it makes the "boring time" go by a lot faster and it helps to melt off the baby-weight! :-) Good luck to you!!

First, you are doing a great job! You are a devoted supermom!! These are just suggestions that might make life a little easier. I agree with the others who said that he needs to take longer naps. Ours took one in the morning and one in the afternoon. If you can get in that routine, you won't feel like you need to entertain him all day. Also, I would try not to feed him to sleep. Just from my experience with our son. He never learned to go to sleep on his own and it wasn't until he was about 15 months old that he finally learned to self soothe himself back to sleep during the night. Before that, if he rolled over and woke up, I would have to feed him and rock him back to sleep. Letting him cry didn't work. He would cry for an hour and would just get louder and louder. My husband would get upset because he couldn't sleep and had to work. It was awful. One other thing, do you have a sling that he can sit in while you are doing things? It might make it easier for you to get stuff done with him attached to the hip. Also, sorry for going on and on, if he is fussy sometimes, that's okay. Don't feel like you have to jump in there every time he fusses a little. Keep an eye on him, but let him play with some toys on the floor or play in an exersaucer if he is able (can't remember the age for those.)

You are doing a great job so don't worry. The first time is the hardest. I used Babywise, it was my baby Bible. Both my boys were excellent eaters and sleepers. I do agree with some moms that he is not getting enough sleep during the day. He should be on a morning, afternoon and a quick nap at 5:30 at his age. This book will tell you all that and show you how to drop naps and feedings once they get older. My 4 year will look right at me at 12:30 and say its nap time mom. Good luck and great job.

I am with you, sister! I am home with my 5 month old son. I also have an 8 year old son that I have to entertain. Getting out is the best thing if you can do it. I get it in my head I need to stay home and do chores and keep baby on a schedule, but he honestly does better if get out and about. I have spent all morning trying to get him to take a nap, and he just went down at noon after being up since 8 a.m. Older son is at camp and we have to go get him around 2:30. Baby has not been taking long naps this week. An hour in the morning and about 45 minutes in the afternoon. Last week was different, hour nap in a.m and 2-3 hour nap in afternoon.
I rotate him from swing to mat to bouncer, as I just can't hold him all day as he would like! He is for the most part a happy baby, just gets in "whine mode" when he doesn't like something. I also use a sling which he loves. He is getting too heavy for me to carry around much.
You sound like you are doing a great job, and you are not alone! Keep doing what you are doing and don't beat yourself up about t.v. time. With our 8 year old, t.v. is on much of the day when he is home. I do not believe it is detrimental to the baby as we are in the same room, but I have him engaged in something else. Do what works for you and this too, shall pass.