Please Help! - Albuquerque,NM

Updated on October 12, 2007
G.C. asks from Bosque Farms, NM
9 answers

I have a 23 mo old son who gets up EVERY night at almost the same time!
He was in a crib until about 6 months ago, and he woke up occasionally, but not like this. We put him in a toddler bed and he did fine for about a week. The he started to get up, then the next week he was fine. That went on like that for about 2 months. Now it's constant. Every night he starts to whine and cry, and won't go back to sleep. Or it'll take him an hour (sometimes more) to go back.
We gave him a pacifier, and it used to do the trick. He would get it and go back to sleep. Now it doesn't work. It helps a little, but not enough.
We have tried everything. Giving him a night light, taking away the pacifier ( we thought he was getting up for it), making sure he's not too hot or too cold, changing his bedtime, even ignoring him.
We don't know if this is a phase or what. He isn't ready to get up at 5:30 am because if you lay him down and stay there, he falls asleep.
He fights me on naps during the day, so I know he is tired.
Does anyone have some advice?

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L.Q.

answers from Albuquerque on

hi, Have you tried putting a humidifier in his room. My son does the same thing and I noticed that his nose was really stuffed. I give him a bath before going to sleep and then I put the humidifier. It seems to be getting better. Good luck

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T.L.

answers from Tucson on

Hi!
G..C, I have learned to followed my heart and childs ques when they were little, I know there are a lot of people out there who'd dissagree with me on this, I let my children sleep in bed with us when they were little especially when they cryed at night, thats the only way I could keep my sanity cause, when I had my first 2 children I listened to much to my mother n law and she always said never let your child sleep with you and wean them from their bottle and binkie at 8 mnths and put them in a regular bed by 18 mnths and always put them to bed by 8pm, I'll share this with you I went insane trying to live by those set of standards and my whole family was miserable.
I learned to not be so worried about the little things and my children became much happier, my home became a place that I was comfortable in, I know it sounds like I may be a slacker or to loose with my standards of raising my kids, but it has made me into a better mom and a more loving wife and, of course I still made mistakes and had to learn what worked for our family, it made more sense to me when I let go some and gave room for say let my little people to have room for mistakes.
After having said all that, they are people and with all the right nurturing and love they will grow into fine young adults someday, I have survived my children to see this starting to happen.
I sometimes wanted to see results insantly, and thak goodness I listened to Gods little whisper in side of me and decided to give him the lead.
I hope something hear helps in your struggles, and remember, it'll all get better eventually, and before you know it they are all grown up, and you'll wonder where the time went.

Until next time! take care...

2 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Tucson on

I'm curious about the time of day you put him down for naptime and bedtime, and also the length of time that he sleeps. My boyfriend and I have custody of my grandson, who has lived with us since he was two and a half. He will be four next month. We have found that consistency is very important. A two year old child needs a minimum 10 hours sleep at night, and should nap daily for about 1 1/2 hours. So, if you are waking him at 5:30 AM, he should be asleep no later than 7:30 PM every night. I'm guessing a good time for nap at around 11:30.

I can get by with 5 or 6 hours of sleep at night, or a schedule that my be erratic at times, but recuperative sleep is essential for a child who is at a developmental stage that requires the ability to learn by absorbing, mentally and physically, the constant barrage of information all around him. Imagine the stress you would experience if one day, you woke up and had no memory, knowledge, common sense, language skills, etc!

Recent medical studies have shown that sleep deprivation may be the cause of behavioral problems, which are then sometimes misdiagnosed as Attention Deficit Disorder (especially if the physician is unaware of the deprivation). Even if it appears your child is getting the required amount of daily sleep, there are instances when this may not be true. It's been discovered that many children misdiagnosed with ADD have larger than normal sized adenoids, resulting in a lack of much needed deep sleep, causing bad moods and behavior.

I apologize for being so wordy, but I want to share as much info as possible to help you or others with similar woes.

Getting back to the times and length of sleep - I must stress again that a consistent schedule is an absolute necessity. Most children have a hard time accepting change, and while they may not be obviously aware of your efforts in accomplishing this scheduling goal, after a while, you will notice that consistency makes for a secure and happier attitude.

Once you commit to adopting a consistent sleep schedule, the next issue to consider is diet. You are probably already aware that sugar causes a temporary increase in energy. 100% all natural fruit juice is a great source of essential nutrients, but does contain a high level of sugar. By the way, your body does not recognize the difference in sugar types. Sucrose, glucose, dextrose, fructose, and even honey are all just plain old sugar once they get in your digestive system. Check with your pediatrician for the recommended fruit/juice requirements for your child. I'll bet it's 8 ounces or less. Avoid foods containing sugar beginning at least an hour or more prior to bedtime. When my grandson was sick, the doc suggested Propel, a juice flavored water made by Gatorade, to aid in rehydration. I was amazed at the very low amount of sugar grams it contains, much lower than fruit juice. If your child is an all-day-long juice guzzler, try it as an alternative for lower sugar consumption.

Dinner should be served at least two hours before bedtime. The body uses alot of energy to aid digestion. Milk and turkey both contain tryptophan, that amino acid that makes you so sleepy after that Thanksgiving dinner. Both are great choices for thirst or hunger prior to bedtime.

If you already practice consistency in diet and sleep time issues as above, your son is most likely testing his power of manipulation. Again, consistency plays the most important role here. Just like dogs, humans have to accept the fact that they cannot all be leaders of the pack. It's a hard lesson, but your toddler has to learn that he will not be rewarded by exhibiting bad behavior, but that he does possess the ability to improve his situation with the knowledge that he is responsible for his own decisions and actions.

The best way to show him this is to offer him two options, but both have to result in the same outcome. For instance: if my grandson makes a fuss about going to bed, we give his these two options - in bed, with a small drink of milk, a book to look at, and lights out in 5 minutes, or - no milk, no book, lights out immediately. You can guess which one he chooses.

If your son does not understand this method of reasoning, there are many other things you might try. Music soothes.... try smooth jazz at a very low volume, a pre-bedtime half hour of "quiet time" - dim lights, no tv or similar distractions of light and sound, maybe some mellow snuggle time without instigating active play, such as tickling, laughter, giggling, etc.

My grandson enjoyed a little counting game at bedtime a few nights ago - 1-shirt off, 2-pants off, 3-go pee, 4-jammies on, etc. 12 was him snoring in bed asleep.

I hope some of this info helps. Good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hello! So I have a 24 mo old and hes been in a toddler bed for a while, he use to do the same thing. what i found out is that he was hungry, we would eat dinner about 6 or 7 but that would be too early for him. So I stared giving him a bedtime snack before and He sleeps all night now. maybe even a cup of milk before bed. Maybe try cutting down on fluids before bed so he won't use the bathroom frequently. This could be frustrating but it will get better, maybe there are too many lights on or maybe not enough, consider everything. good luck

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Friend,
I had the same problem with my first child too as well I had my mother-inlaw to help me and the way she did it was leave him crying ofcourse made sure he had his bottle and changed. And I though that was harsh really hearing my baby crying for attention broke my heart.But thats really what it is wanting attention and he will do anything to get it remember baby are smarter than me and you put together. Well after a week it worker because he knows your not going to be manipulated and he will go to sleep without any trouble.Well like I said before all that seem harsh and then I saw Super Nanny and she did the same thing that I did I felt better that as a mother. I hope I help you and your baby.

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J.R.

answers from Tucson on

Around two- kids start to have bad dreams and waking up is totally normal. I found that my two year old wakes up more at night when nap time hasn't gone well.. what has helped- is being very rigid about nap time-- I have her nap every day at one- no if ands or butts about it-- she at his age fought me on it and I made her stay in there for at least an hour whether she slept or not-- and once she started really taking that nap--- not only will she now sleep 2-3 hours-- she sleeps more soundly at night-- she goes to bed later than she did when she was smaller-- but doesn't wake up as much. We also let her crawl in bed with us when she wants - or when we hear her cry one of us goes in her room and will lay down with her- the other trick that we used to use-- is if she was waking up completely-- I told her about how when the sun goes to sleep we all go to sleep and we cant get up until the sun comes back up-- so at night when she would wake up- I could remind her that the sun is still sleeping so she must too. Hope this helps a little- I know how frustrating it is when you just want a little sleep ( I also have a six month old- so the idea of sleep sounds better than just about anything)! Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Albuquerque on

Don't worry... My daughter went through the same thing. When it came to nap time, it was a battle. She was so tired but would rather fight it than actually rest. It lasted about 2 months of her and I fighting to lay down. I was so stressed out and eventually I was not being myself because I was so upset that she wouldn't lay down and other kids her age were still taking naps.. Finally on her own she started napping again, but this time she would rather lay down in the guest room, couch or even on the floor in her room.
Have you tried making his room something that he likes? We took my daughter to the store to pick out a few things that she liked to make her room more comfortable. Like a Dora lamp that makes designs on the wall, new Dora sheets and pillowcase, Dora nightlight, and posters. It worked for us, and I got the idea from a mom from here.. Good luck...

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J.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Not every child NEEDS a nap - our 2 year old daughter has gotten on without one for over a year now, as it helps her to sleep at night.

Also, if you are a Stay-At-Home-Mom (I am), you might re-think bedtimes during what I like to call the "stubborn" years - children are MUCH more flexible around 3.5/4 years, and as long as they are getting the required hours, what does it matter WHEN they go to bed? Our daughter goes to bed around 10:30/11:00pm, but she sleeps until 8:30/9:00, giving her PLENTY of time, and (as I need the 9 hours myself usually), I feel rested as well.

If you are NOT a SAHM, then my suggestion is this - if he cries, leave the lights off and go in and gently put him back to bed *quietly*, without holding him, just touching him to let him know you are there. Then get up and go back to bed. If he cries again, wait a few minutes and THEN go back in. Increase this time until he falls back to sleep. After a week, he should be fine, but he just wants to know you are still there.

This is likely a phase, don't stress too much! I promise he'll be able to sleep through the night when he hits 20 years old! *grin*

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L.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

I wish I had good news but let me share my story. My hubby and I have a business. For 1 1/2 years we apart most of the time. he was in Abq and the kids and I were in northern Colorado. During that time my son (starting @ age 3.5) would wake up EVERY night at the same time just screaming. I tried all the same things. Now we are all back together and it has stopped for the most part. If he wakes up he whimpers a little and easily goes back to sleep. I wish I had more of an answer for you although now I know it had to do with what his little life was like. BTW my daughter (now 3.5 yrs) was nursed and she would be just famished around midnight. She would eat and go back to sleep. Now she just climbs in bed with us. Sleeping patterns are hard to change eh! I hope you can find a solution as I know just how hard that is for every one!

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