Planning Daughter's FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!! :O) I Have Less than 3 weeks.....ahhh

Do something SMALL. The party is to celebrate the child's birth, not scare it to death with lots of people and noise. I'd do two mini parties and be done with it.

I have always been told that a good rule of thumb when thinking about how many children to invite to a party is 1 for every year of age. It has worked very well with all of my children. Now that doesn't count siblings and the children of family members, but when it comes to inviting their friends that is how we have always done it.

1 year olds... could care less... about a 'party' or who is there or how many people or where it was.
Really.
And at this age, most of babies this age, get real over-tired with that many people or they get fussy, or it is at their nap time... and they are then too over-tired.

We kept ours, for our Daughter, simple, easy, small.
For our son, didn't even have a 'party'... but just us with Grandma and Aunty... and just a cozy nice gathering, with a cute cupcake.
And, for both, just take photos... and make a cute scrapbook.

Ok, the moms are going to think I'm like the Ebenezer Scrooge of birthdays, but here it goes:
Why don't you figure out how much money you will spend on a party, invitations, food, drink, decorations, etc.? And then take that money and put it in a college fund, a trust, a savings account, something for your child. Make her a cake, invite the grandparents over, and relax. I went to my niece's first birthday party, an extraganza of a dinner buffet, big cake, gift opening (like she even understood what was going on!) and about 40 of mom and dad's closest friends and family. The whole thing felt...uh, kind of silly. Anyway, I'm sorry to be going against the grain here, I just wanted to make a suggestion in another direction.

Relax. Breathe! Your child does not know or care that it's her birthday. Pick what's easiest and cheapest. My DD cried all through her 2nd b-day b/c she was so overwhelmed. It was sad. I did too much. Toddlers like small, quiet get togethers. Keep it simple. As far as family.... let them suck it up. It's a child's b-day party. :)

Keep in mind -- I think you already realize this --
that your daughter won't realize it's her birthday.
The party is simply for the grown-ups
to celebrate her first year on earth.
So you really don't need to invite any kids.

If there are cousins, etc., that are members of the family,
that's different. But I don't think you need to be concerned
about little guests.

Since you have a small home and you said
there's some friction between different sides of the family . . .
how about, instead of a party with everybody all at the same time,
you have two separate events,
for example on a Saturday and a Sunday,
one for one side and one for the other side.

Or, how about a kind of open house . . . .
extended family invited to stop by between (for example)
1 and 5 pm and you'll have various people coming and going.

Remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E.
Remember to get a neighbor (or someone)
to take lots of pictures.

My son will be one on the 19th and I am thinking on his party as well. I am basically having a nice little food spread for everyone. I am getting my baby boy a ball pit for his bday and that will be the main activity for the babies. The older kids can play in the ball pit, in my son's room or in the backyard. I will have some music playing for everyone to enjoy and cute decorations. Everybody can eat and visit while the kids play. Then we will do cake, presents and send everyone home. Just a couple hours. The main thing for a first bday I think is the photo op of the baby eating their cake :) So cute! I do a really nice food spread and put some effort into the decorations because they will have those pics for years to come and my three year old still loves to look at his bday pics. Congrats!

It's going to be OK.

Your parent's place sounds ideal. It's good to have a lot of space. The hard floors shouldn't be a problem.

We had my son's first bday party in a large community room at my friend's apartment. There was no rug there either. We put out large tables along the perimeter of the room filled with food, drinks, cupcakes.....

I made a mixed playlist on my iPod for adults and kids. It was fun to mix it up.

We had beer, wine, soda, and water for the adults. We made food for the adults and also made chicken fingers, sliced fruit, cheerios....for the babies.

The foosball and air hockey sound awesome for the adults. Very cool. I don't think you have to worry about "entertainment" at such a young age.

I designated one large corner of the room the "play area" for the babies. My son wasn't walking at one either. I brought my rubber alphabet mat and a one of my friend's mats and we laid them down. I brought a bunch of toys from home, like instruments, blocks, animals, cars... We also brought large pillows and lined the walls in that area with them. There was a couch that we used as a "wall" to enclose the space and it was convenient for the adults to sit on while watching their kids.

I bought two, very inexpensive, blow up pools at Toys R Us. I filled one with ball pit balls. The other I filled with sand, that I also purchased at Toys R Us, and made a sandbox. They were such a hit. The pools were soft. The sides were low so the babies could get in and out easily. They loved them!

We made a cake just for our son so he could stick his fists in it and do what he pleased and we made cupcakes for the rest of the guests.

It was very low-key, stress-free and a good time was had by all. Keep it simple and you'll have more fun.

Keep in mind, you should keep this party short. Two hours is a long time when you are one. Breakdowns will happen.

Good luck and congratulations on your daughter's first bday.

Peace.

The 1st party really is the one to "slip." Keep it simple. I just had the immediate family over for my kids 1st. There will be lots of elaborate parties to throw in the years ahead. They have no clue about what is going on. Seriously, I know you are excited and want to do this for -yourself-, but stop, think for a moment about the money, energy, and then think about just your child. The only thing she will care about is eating the cake. Have it at home, with those faces she loves.

Wow; you sound pretty stressed. What worked for us was a nice simple first birthday family/close friend party at home. On their first birthday, our children always felt more comfortable at home anyway, and were much too young to play games. We just had a simple dinner with a cute cake and some balloons. If you are stressed and have a big overwhelming "real" party, perhaps your child will pick up on your stress and become overwhelmed too.

My opinion: forget all the extra stuff; just relax, keep things simple and small, and then you'll have time to really enjoy this special day with your daughter.

Holy flaming moly!
If this is the first birthday, what will you do by the time your little one is 5?
No offense! I promise!
First birthdays are so special, but I hate to tell you this.....if you're going to throw a bash, throw it for everyone else because your baby will not even know what the heck the fuss is all about.
My friend invited us to her son's first birthday party. Balloons, a pinata, a million kids running around. The poor baby cried the whole time over the chaos. For my son's first birthday, I only invited immediate family for a bbq and cake on a summer afternoon at our house and he slept through most of it. We have video of all of us having a lovely visit and him sound asleep.

You are so sweet to want a great party for your baby!
My advice is to have a wonderful gathering. Don't invite TOO many people, don't worry about everything being perfect. Do take video because your baby won't remember any of it.
For my daughter's first birthday, I only invited a few people that my daughter knew well and was used to having around. Still, it was important to me. I wanted to be a good hostess and have refreshments.
There was one thing I splurged on, and I went to pick up the cake I had so specifically ordered, in person, two weeks in advance. I couldn't wait to see it.
It was beautiful!
It was a work of art!
It also said,
"Happy 1st Birthday, Angle".
I felt pain radiating down my left arm like I was having a coronary and I cried right then and there in that bakery.
I don't cry over things, but I admit it. They spelled her name wrong on her very first cake. 5 letters. Angel is a pretty common word, if not name. It took them 30 seconds to fix it.
I was just thinking, "Angle? Seriously?"
My point is, it was actually funny after I thought about it and calmed down. No harm done and my daughter had no clue there were even letters on the damn cake in the first place.

Don't worry too much. Have a lovely gathering to celebrate your little one. Things always turn out fine even if they aren't perfect.

Best wishes.

You have 17 years for kids parties... so take a deep breath... because this isn't one of them.

I know we get ALL excited about 1st Birthdays, but really, it is 100% for the ADULTS. They're kind of like a babyshower. Count yourself LUCKY if you can get through the party and have the "cake picture" without a complete and total meltdown on your daughter's part. ((In order to help that luck along, plan the party to happen RIGHT after/ 15 minutes after nap and food finish)). It will be so overstimulating for her, you MIGHT make 2 hours.

AVOID inviting kids. Family, absolutely... but 1yos don't have "friends" yet, you do NOT want to be wrangling a group of cranky and overstimulated 1 & 2yo's and their stressed out parents. Not if you want it to be a HAPPY day.

Remember... beyond all else... 1st bdays are an ADULT party... because WE'RE the ones who are all excited/ooey gooey/nostalgic/capable of remembering it... and it's also your very first REAL mother's day (that you're awake for and not bleeding and actually get to spend it not in pain).

If she's turning 1, relax - she doesn't care at all. Don't go crazy trying to invite other kids to the party. It's more for mom/dad anyway. Just do family, and if both sides drive you crazy, do 2 parties - make them covered dish so you don't have to cook for everyone. Don't bother with chuck-e-cheese or any of that stuff - again, she's 1 and she doesn't care. Kids don't care about birthdays till they're 3 or 4 years old. Relax, have fun.

Don't go crazy...and keep it simple! If the thought of having both sides of the family together is stressing you out, don't do it! Have your side of the family at your parent's house, and your hubby's side another day at your apartment, if you have the room. But keep in mind whatever you do will set a precedent for future years. Either way, your child will have no clue the party is for her - seriously.

I would have it at your mom's and don't worry about what everyone will do. It really is about your child and is usually ovewhelming for a one year old. We had a huge party with games for the kids and my twins had a horrible time. My daughter cried the whole time and my son was pretty unhappy too.They say to have 2 guests for every year. I agree at this age because they really don't enjoy it. I know you have to have a family party but keep in mind to focus on your child that day. Congrats to you . Mom!

Generally the 1st birthday is for the parents. Your DD isn't going to remember it and wouldn't have a clue what is going on. For my son's first we had it at a pizza parlor that had a carousel and games for entertainment. Invited the family and a few friends which was over 50 people. I have two sides of family and so does my husband and we just invited everyone to the one party. If they wanted to go so be it...if not then it's their loss. Just remember to get her own cake and then have another cake for the rest of your guests. Pretty much it. She won't be opening the gifts either....or at least my son didn't. I was the one who opened all the gifts. I wouldn't stress - make it easy for yourself.

just do what you will be most comfortable with, money wise and space wise. we had a big party for each of our firsts, but nothing huge for any others, unless we felt like having a big party anyway, always at our small house. and i have been to just as many fancy ones and everyone had a good time there too. the bottom line is that nobody cares, either way you go will work out best if you are comfortable. and honestly, if you have 2 parties for the 2 fighting families, you could be setting precident for every party ever. no way i would do that unless it was just unbearable for me. imo. no offense, please. you cant do that anyway, how can you? there have to be people who will be put in an awkward position if you do that, no? i dont know. it sucks that you have to deal with that. i just know that i would say they can suck it up and just make the day as effortless as you can get away with and enjoy your friends and family. your daughter will probably cry or sleep through most of it, most of them will if they are around the same age - the kids i mean, haha!. for kids that age, i would have some kind of place with some toys and a couple of pillows or something where people can put them down. you can go to bjs or something and get those foam floor tile things and/or a gate thing and give them a spot. or if its in someones house, then just a room. it will be more appreciated than some fancy food if there are gonna be a lot of moms of little ones. have fun :)

If the inlaws dont get along, becareful not to set yourself up for a disaster. Keep your head straight and have reasonable expectations. The picture of your daughter in her highchair with a cake mess and a silly hat is really all the first birthday is about. You can do that with just her and you and not all the hoop-la if you dont want the problems. Or let each side of the family invite you and your daughter over if they want some of her birthday time.
This could cost you 10 bucks for the cake mix and candle and hat OR could cost you a fortune. Just giving you some food for thought. congrats on your baby's milestone.