Piggyback Call Me Mom Question

I keep wondering if a man leaves his wife because he has been having an affair with some other woman.then marries this "person" If some of these moms would be as thrilled to have their innocent children call this home wrecker "Mom"?

Especially if she is not so nice, but the children "adore her"?

I think if it is fine with the "real mom" great.. But like I said. I am the child of divorce and NO ONE will ever in my heart be my mom or my dad. I just love them so much and not like any other love.. I just cannot imagine.

Here is the thing, when one parent is trying to erase the other that is wrong but it is an adult issue. If my ex was trying to replace me with his fiancee that would be irritating but if she treated my kids well, if she loved them, then I have no problem separating the two issues.

You have to see his daughter didn't do anything wrong, it is his ex. Let the little one feel love, cuss the ex out under your breath.

Just a little tip. Your husband can call the school and have all papers and events, extra curriculat activities sent to him via email or snail mail. He can call coaches and have his number put on things and have his name and email added to all activities so he can stay updated without having to involve the ex wifey.

I think it is appropriate for step children to have a title for their step-parent, but not the same one they use for their birth parent. There are multiple variations on mother and father out there to choose one. It fosters a closer relationship w/ the step-parent without confusing the child. Such as Dad, Daddy, Pops, Pa and Papa, or Mom, Ma, Mommy, and Mother.

As long as it isn't forced, I think if a child is feeling the love and wants to call a step parent "Mom" or "Dad" then I think they should be allowed to.

Kids are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for. So it's a good idea to keep our negative feelings to ourselves.

My SD has often said she wished I was her "real mom" and while that warms my heart to no end, it also breaks it because I want her bio mom to step up! I have worked hard to help my SD have a good relationship with her mom, despite my personal feelings about her.

I think we should let our children get what happiness they can out of life. Divorce can be ugly, fighting parents can add tension. The kids are taken back and forth between two houses--living in two worlds.

If they get comfort from calling a step-parent "mom" then we should let them have that. It's the least we can do. They are young for such a short time. When they are older they may be able to see things that they didn't before. They may change their minds.

Until then. Just go with it.

I think that it's natural for a small child to call a parental figure Mom or Dad. It can sting, surely. But the child can also still remember who else is Mom or Dad. I think that in your case the issue is more her mom's behavior than what their daughter called her husband.

ETA:
I also agree that her father can be proactive. There are many avenues to contact a school, be on a listserv, get the PTA newsletter, and get information to/from a teacher without the ex. You can even order photo packages online from many schools.

This is why we should take great care in selecting a spouce who we will have children with. That being said once a marriage has broken I think its fine to call the new husband dad. My ex sil is working on husband number three with a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old. I suppose they will call the new man dad after awhile and then again with who ever comes after that. Yes that is hurtful. Divorce is hurtful in many ways.

Yes, it hurts sometimes, but I agree, it boils down to what's best for the child. If the child has a need to call the step parent mom or dad, then the adults have to suck up their hurt feelings, imo.

Sorry to a certain mamapedia mom who is in this position, I know it must be hard. But no one will ever replace you in your son's heart as his mom, no matter what she is called.

I think all children should feel the comfort & peace of having full-time parents providing for their emotional & physical needs, regardless of whether it's biological, step, or same sex. The child's peace of mind & welfare is all that matters.

& the adults need to learn to put the child's comfort first. Divorce is hard on kids, & for a child to find happiness after the parent's relationship implodes.....isn't that what should be most important?

I called my friend's parents Mom and Dad... I call my parents Ba and Me (in Vietnamese). The equivalent is when you call your parents, there's another type of affection that is only for them (assuming the parents are in good standing with the child). My friends actually say I have a special smile for my youngest son. I smile at everyone, I smile more for my kids... but I have a special smile for my last baby.

Be there as a dad and I guarantee you that no matter what she called the step-dad, she has a special way of calling dad... Dad.

my fiance refers to his step mother and stepfather as mom or dad when he is talking to his brother (mom&stepdads son) or sister(dad and stepmoms daughter).. for example he'll say to his brother "wheres dad?" meaning his stepdad... but ive never heard him call them mom or dad other than under those circumstances, and his parents have been divorced since he was a toddler, so hes been around both his step parents since then

My husband's brother married his wife when she was pregnant with her 2nd child(her 1st husband was a real piece of work and left her and the kids. So my BIL married her and was there in the delivery room when she had her second child. The kids are now 18 and 21 and they never call him dad. They only refer to him "my dad said this" but when speaking to him, they call him by his name. Their biological father is not even in the picture so I've always wondered about this. But I guess it's what the child feels comfortable with. On the other hand, my husbands other brother has a daughter and she HAS to call her step-dad "daddy so and so". This really hurts my brother in law because they force her to do this and get angry with her when she forgets.