Piano Lessons - How Do You Motivate Your Kids to Practice?

If he isn't interested, don't force it. He is 5, let him be 5.

If you want him to learn an instrument, let him pick one when he is ready, and allow him to practice at his own pace.

My mom forced my sister and I to take piano lessons and had to really get on us to practice. Neither one of us really like it.

AFter five long years, my mother let me quit BUT she made me quit dance also. I LOVED dance, but if I didn't want to do what SHE wanted me to do, then I didn't get to do anything. I hated piano more than I loved dance, so that was the end of both.

Don't know how you can motivate him to do something he really doesn't want to do. Perhaps you can ask him if there is an instrument he is interested in learning rather than you deciding what he should like/want to do.

As a former music educator (who took piano for 12 years), 5 years old is a little young for piano lessons. Children this age usually don't have self-control or long attention spans for this type of repetitive practice. Also, since children don't really start learning division until at least 3rd grade, it's hard for them to grasp time signatures and beat divisions, so the theory aspect will be a little lost to them. I always say at least 8 years old for starting formal lessons for this reason.
I say save your money until he is a little older. Meanwhile, encourage playing by ear instead. Having him pick out songs and create compositions can spur interest in practicing now without all the structure and pressure that lessons create.

My kids are 5 & 9 and they take piano lessons.
My 5 year old is my son.
They LIKE it.
And they practice on their own without much nagging from us.
We didn't force them to take piano, they wanted to.
We have a piano at home too.

Per their Teacher, practicing for 15 minutes a day.
Which they do do.
And they are making good progress.
Because it is fun for them.

When I was a child, I *had to* take piano lessons.
I hated it. Hated it. Hated it.
Then finally, after about 2 years, my parents said I can quit.
I was not a piano person.
I played different instruments when I was older. Instruments that I chose.
And I was good at it and loved playing it.

This is why we didn't start our daughter on lessons until she was eight (even though my husband plays piano well and we have always had a piano in the house).Kids need the maturity to be able to stick with practice even when it isn't thrilling; they also need the maturity to be able to hear and understand their own mistakes and their own progress.

It's also a red flag to me that the teacher is getting frustrated that he isn't making more progress. Have you and she talked about what "progress" means for him at this level? The teacher may be expecting too much, too fast.

If you continue now, your son might be turned off not just piano but any other future music lessons. I'd let him play and noodle around on his own and encourage that a LOT (but have a firm no-just-banging-on-the-keys rule) and would drop the lessons for now. Keep him listening to lots of different styles of music (don't forget classical, which kids love if it's introduced to them early and enthusiastically and not as if it's musical broccoli that "you have to have because it's good for you"), and take him to musical performances of all kinds. Try a kids' group musical program like Kindermusik or Music Together, though he is already a bit old for those, but they may be able to guide you to some other just-for-fun music programs. Then try piano again later.

Don't tell them that if they don't practice enough and quit they will regret it when they grow up. That's what my mom told me over and over again. I finally quit. I don't regret it!

I took piano lessons from 6 years old until I was 12. I don't remember being asked if I wanted to take lessons. I hated the lessons and I hated the teacher. In 6 years I learned how to read music and to play really simple songs but not much else. Luckily we moved and I didn't have to see that teacher again. However, I took lessons again when I was 14 and again when I was 18. I learned more then because it was my choice and I really wanted to do it. It could be that your son wants to learn but he just doesn't have the right teacher or it could be that your son is too young and really doesn't want to do this. Ask him and see what he says. You can wait until 2nd or 3rd grade when they start teaching music in school and he might find an instrument he likes better. My son is 9. I've been begging him to take music lessons but he's not interested so I'm not going to force him because my mother forced me.

I started piano lessons when I was 4 and loved it. But I really learned to play by ear (which my teacher didn't like) instead of reading music as I should. The biggest motivator was watching my siblings and mother play. The value of concentrated self-driven practice didn't kick in until I was much older. But because I don't think it's healthy to push practice until they're ready, I'm giving my kids piano lessons myself -- I can't justify paying $100/month if the practice is going to be sketchy.

I second recording him. I have five year old daughter who has been playing for a few months and she loves it. The teacher lets her choose the songs and then every couple weeks I video her so she can see her progress.

I'm one of those weirdo's the doesn't believe in a carrot except for internal reinforcement. Of course, I praise her effort and how much she is practicing and whistle the tunes she's learning (I'm a whistler any way but do know this is another way to reinforce and encourage her efforts.)

Same as you, I walk away when she's practicing because she focuses on me rather than her practice. Sometimes I'll call out, "So awesome to hear how well it's coming."

Finally, I wonder why you are so concerned with him learning to play? Not a mean question, but everyone has their own reasons. I encouraged my daughter because given who she is, I knew she would love it. Just wondered what your reason might be.

Maybe let him practice different songs. I play the piano (because I wanted to, not because my mom or dad ever made me) and it can get VERY irritating if you play the same song over and over again, especially if you aren't getting the hang of something new. Let him try a few new songs, maybe songs he knows. Let him go back and forth. DON'T push him, or you really will make him hate it. Maybe he wants to try a different instrument? If he doesn't want to play it, he won't.

There is playing piano and practicing piano. At 5 years old, your son should learn to play play play, not practice practice practice. Playing looks different for each child. It should be fun.

I'd wait with formal lessons til your son is 7-8 years old. At that time, he should be able to sit through a 30 minute lesson and practice for 20-30 minutes, 5-6 days a week. Until then, some things you might try are group lessons with children his age or finding a teacher who is less strict and more flexible.

It concerns me that his teacher seems frustrated that he isn't making quicker progress. It would be better to find a teacher who can lay the foundation for a love a music. This will help motivate your son to want to practice as he gets older, when he has better fine motor skills and longer attention span.

Music is wonderful and should be enjoyed, not dreaded. It's called PLAYING the piano for a reason and perhaps by waiting and finding a teacher who can share her love of music as well as teach theory and technique, your son will find his own motivation for learning to play an instrument.

I didn't make my daughter practice. The goal of giving her music lessons (when SHE asked for them) was for her to learn to play for her own enjoyment. It wasn't to make a concert performer out of her, not to prepare for a recital or competition, or even to please her teacher. It was for her to learn to do something she wanted to do. Some days, she would practice for hours on end, others not at all. Music was for pleasure, not another item on her chore list.

Have you ever heard of the Tiger Mom? (if not google it or PM me and I'll direct you to my blog post about it) I grew up with one. I started violin at 7 y.o. and my mom made us practice an hour (often times 2) a day. I hated it, but I did get quite good over the years.

Anyhow, how does this relate? Well. it's hard to motivate a 5 year old to do anything they don't want to do without a carrot (figuratively speaking). Start small--like 5 minutes a day. Set a timer. Sit with him so it's a fun together activity rather than alone. Then you can also use a sticker chart (kinda like a responsibility chart). When he gets to a certain number of practices, you can give him a treat. That way, you're not giving him a treat each and every time. In child development 5 year olds typically are not intrinsically motivated so it's perfectly age appropriate to reward kids. He'll develop intrinsic motivation as he grows into the middle school years. Let your child's piano teacher know so that during lessons, s/he can praise the heck out of your child about how he is improving so that your child knows that practice does make a difference.

One last idea, you can record (video or just audio) a couple of minutes of him playing right now--so that you can play it back to him in a month so he can hear (and see) how much he's progressed due to practicing just 5 minutes a day.

I'm with you regarding our kids learning how to play an instrument. We're Asian so it's almost a requirement. ha ha But given my experience growing up with a violin and a Tiger Mom, I'm big on making sure that our kids enjoy the music, and that we share music as a family. On a separate note--I ended up quitting violin and picked up guitar when I was in college. I regret quitting violin, but it was a great foundation for guitar, which ended up being really easy for me to learn as a result of playing violin for years. :) Good luck to you!

I would contact a local university that has a strong music program. Find out when their next concert will be, best if it's a student piano recital. Ask if maybe one of the students would be willing to talk to your son and explain how important practice is and how long it takes to learn a new song no matter how many years he/she has been playing. Maybe even show him how he/she has struggled with a certain peice.

My parents were big fans of the Big Band clarenietist Benny Goodman. I remember reading an article about him many years ago, even after he had 'made it' he practiced his scales everyday. He always said that even if he didn't use a certain note often he HAD to know where it was and how it sounded.

Practice WITH him. He plays some, you play some, and so on.

Motivate...tee hee...you're nicer than me :) I went into it knowing that you have to MAKE kids practice, as politically incorrect as that is in some circles..it's tough to practice enough. It's boring. New songs are intimidating. Kids don't feel like practicing. There will be tears. But just like for everything else in our house: No fits allowed. If I am "pressing" a reluctant child to practice, and they escalate to any crying, moping, talking back, fits etc, they get a warning of what discipline will follow if they continue, and they know it's true, so they stop. Like you, I knew that practice wouldn't get more fun as they got older (to the contrary, they will be more stubborn and frustrated and impatient with less skill) but I also knew that things would improve over time if we pushed through the hard early years.

My 6 year old daughter has been taking piano for two years and violin for six months, and my 4 year old son is starting (with the attention span of a flea) but the rules are the rules. I'm fair about time limit and material, but practice is not negotiable. Many a days, I've sat with my oldest on the brink of tears and MADE her practice. Omg, when a new song is unfamiliar...that's the worst practice of the week. Like your son, in the big picture, she loves the piano and her teacher and her lessons...but practicing is a drag for ALL KIDS. No way around it. She's getting much better now and finally able to sit and do it herself without my constant prompting. She's also feeling the rewards of playing well so the battle stage is passing. She just had her first violin concert (thriving because of piano head start) and it was an amazing experience for her. She's extremely proud to be good at two instruments, but it would not have happened if I did not "be the bad guy" and force her many times to practice. she still loves lessons, has never asked to quit, and every practice ends well with big hugs because we got through the work and she feels great.

I don't hover over lessons and try to find songs they like, I SIT there and count and coach them through as if I'm the teacher, no ifs ands or buts. I'm not a distraction, I'm the boss! :) At five, my daughter needed me beside her for the whole practice, and I especially made her do the songs she didn't want to or WHATEVER was in her lesson. Them's the breaks. She ALWAYS felt good after mastery, and that's the pay off. I never did rewards. Although we do have a big celebration at the end of each book, and I gave her a present for doing well in her violin concert. She wasn't expecting it though.

I see no harm in rewards if you go that route (other than possibly having him always need rewards to practice), but they would probably not deter the battle. At five you need some back-up firm discipline to effectively threaten (I've never needed to enforce since we've been consistent for other things) as the opposite result to cooperation and respect for the lesson and you.

When my kids are older, they will be perfectly free to quit. But with a good skill under their belt, maybe they'll feel like continuing. Either way, I did my job : MAKING them practice old school style. Don't get me wrong, we have lots of laughs and fun and praising going on during practices too, but in "those moments" when the fight is on: They don't win.

As you can tell I am in strong disagreement the American "everything for young kids has to be fun fun fun and 'their choice' every minute of the day." Practice is 20 minutes to a half hour. It doesn't hurt kids to take a break from playing and learn a skill-even at three years old. As you know, for having your five-year-old do it. His teacher is right, he can progress quickly which is rewarding to him and gives him less work later. It's all in how people perceive things...

***I just saw some of these opinions on ability to grasp music at this age...WHAT??! Tell that to the kids this age who are very advanced! Youtube is teeming with little kids playing. Mine totally grasp the counting etc at 4. It is not too young.

My daughter started piano lessons at 8. We don't make her practice every day. She gets some say over when, what time of day, she practices and what she plays during that time. We aren't overly structured. She will typically play something she enjoys to warm up, then she'll practice some scales or exercises, then she'll work on a new piece that she is still learning. Her practice sessions are about 20 minutes long.

We don't bribe or reward or punish based on her practicing or not practicing. If she hasn't practiced enough times in a week, sometimes her dad just says "do it now!" The reward for practicing is making progress and getting to play new things and songs that she likes. Our teacher is in his 20s and is aware of what 10 year-olds might like, which helps.