Phone Calls - Milpitas, CA

Calls are very expensive on a cruise so you should ask him if email daily would be sufficient. They have computers on the ship that would be less expensive than phone calls.

I agree with you... he pays for the phone calls either through a phone card or accepting collect calls from her. Either that or she can call when you all get in to port.

I went on a cruise last summer with my family....it cost 7.00 a minute for ship to shore calls...it better be important or else it will be a lot of money just to say hi.

My sweetie and his parents went and there is no signal, the phones are off after a certain distance out. Or it may be that I just assumed so since $17 a minute meant the same thing to me. That would mean that his need to control you would cost as much as the cruise itself most likely. Too bad, so sad. Looks like you get your way. Why would you give in and do something you think would make your vacation unpleasant anyway?

On the other hand if your daughter wants to talk to him that's her business, and she has a say in what she wants too no matter how old she is.

I think he will respect you more when you put your foot down and stand up for yourself.
Not to run over him, not to hurt him, but to firmly let him know what you are going to do because you feel it's best for your life. Figure out what you want (specifically, how you want to feel) and stick to it! Don't let people push you off center into chaos, because that's the alternative when you are not centered. Take some deep breaths that will always help you center. Tattoo BREATHE on you forehead backwards so when you look in the mirror you are instantly reminded how to stand in your power.

With Lots of Love,
L.

When we went on a cruise, our cell phones didn't always work, especially when we were on the Ship. Perhaps you should take a prepaid phone card for landlines.

If not, you can call your cell phone company, and tell them your plans. They may give you a plan for 1 month to allow for help with all roaming charges, which YES can be expensive.

You should really keep in contact with him on a regular basis. It's only fair. And he's only worried. You need to keep your word on that.

Have fun!

~N. :o)

Our cruises have always been on Disney, and cell phones don't work on their ships (unless you are in port, and then you have to deal with the roaming, international, etc. charges you've mentioned). E-mail... that's my suggestion. Our ship had computers you could log onto, pay a nominal charge, then send messages. We had to bring a laptop on one cruise so that our son could turn in assignments daily to his teachers, so we purchased an internet package and used their wireless internet plan.

It is EXPENSIVE - usually about $5 a minute and the reception is really terrible! Depending on where you are going you might be able to use your cell phone when you are on land.

Most cruises offer email but this is the same deal - very expensive.

Maybe think about buying a calling card and using this on land? You probably won't dock every day though...

I have been on several cruises....phone calls are expensive. I suggest sending him an email instead. You have computer/internet availability 24 hours a day. Enjoy your trip.

Hi. He's probably just seen the news lately with all the cruise ship headlines and is a little nervous. If he wants to talk to his daughter every day what is the harm in that, she gets to talk to her daddy and he gets a sense that all is ok - it's win-win. Maybe you could set a time everyday for him to call you (if there is a time change make sure you calculate it so you don't miss his call). And if he doesn't usually call her every day when you are not on a cruise maybe he could start. Girls that have a strong relationship with their fathers seem to have less issues with men as they get older so it is in her benefit to have him in her life. Just a few minutes a day, like 5 is not asking much and it could mean so much on both ends, father and daughter. Think if he had taken her on a cruise, you would want to talk to her everyday too.

I agree with many of the posts that you are usually unable to get cell service unless you are near or at a port. On the "at sea" days, a call would be VERY expensive from the ship.

However, most cruise lines have computers where you can sign up for designated time. I have updated my family via email when cruising on the past 3 cruises and I think that would be a good compromise. (They are available 24 hours so that you can make contact at any time).

Have fun...cruising is a BLAST!

~ L.

Hi MW,

My mom has been on several cruises and calling home once in a while, let alone every day, is not realistic unless it's an emergency and you HAVE to call. What she does do though is sign up (and pay for) internet time while on the boat. She usually sets up an email list on her hotmail or yahoo account before leaving home and then each night she goes online and sends a note home talking about what she did/saw that day. She also cc's herself so that when she gets home she has a great little log of what she did while she was away. This is probably more realistic and would be easy for you to do. And everyone always loves hearing about the adventures of the day! Good luck to you.

I've been on about a dozen cruises, most of which I've had to make at least one phone call, and here's what I've seen:
- Using the ship's satellite phone will be reliable but super-expensive. As other people have mentioned, this typically ranges from $6 to $12 per MINUTE. Fortunately, that's not the only option
- Most ports, there will be payphones you can with an international calling card. This is the cheapest option. But that means using a public payphone (which may not be ideal for a 3 year old), getting an international calling card, and it only works on days when you're in port.
- In port, you'll be able to use a cell phone if you have international roaming. (FYI, in St. Thomas and Puerto Rico you'll be on U.S. domestic rates -- those are the ports to chat in!)
- The good news is that in addition to the satellite phone, MOST (but not all) ships now also have cell phone service. This means that you can use your cell phone even when you're at sea. It'll be at least $2.50 a minute, but that's still cheaper than the satellite phone.

If you think you want to use a cell phone, either in international ports or at sea, you need to check with your cell phone provider to see if they are set up to work on your ship, and to check rates. You'll also need to turn on international roaming.

Be aware that it's REALLY easy to rack up hundreds of dollars in cell phone charges when overseas. And definitely turn off your phone whenever possible - you're charged the same for incoming calls, and telemarketers at $2.50/minute are the worst!

There's an article about using cell phones on cruise ships, that has the phone #s and links to cruise-related pages for all the different cell phone companies, here:
http://www.cruisesavvy.com/savvyguide/know_before_you_go/...

Personally, I think that if he wants a call every day, he has to pay for it AND he deals with the hassle. My suggestion would be to make sure he understands the costs up front, and ideally hands you HIS international-roaming-activated phone.

Oh, one last thought: if you end up putting the cost on your cell phone and having him reimburse you, be aware that some of the costs from overseas carriers may not appear for up to two months.

*phew* Sorry for the long message. But like I said, I cruise a lot, use my cell phone a lot, and hate paying more than I have to. =)

They are pretty expensive...
I don't think he is overreacting... there has been a lot of bad press lately with cruise ships..
call the first day and then you can go down to the ships customer service and see how much it cost, unless you are using your personal cell- you may want to call your provider and ask about getting a deal, or the other option, purchase a cheap pay as you go phone with some minutes.

I have to agree with Noelle. Placing calls to or from the ship was so expensive, we couldn't help but laugh hysterically! Now, we only went to Hawaii (our honeymoon) but we called my husbands son when we could get cell reception, when we got into ports, because we couldn't get it when we were out on the open sea. They do have internet service and it's MUCH cheaper; it's charged by the minute and was very inexpensive. Maybe you can do that; you can email him every day and tell him what is going on. Good luck and have a fun, safe trip!

While I'm not a fan of my ex, put yourself in his shoes. If he were taking your child out of town, wouldn't you want to same courtesy extended? If they were going to a place you have no idea about, you would worry too! There shouldn't be any dollar amount placed on a parent's peace of mind, whether he's just trying to goad you or not. Paranoia has nothing to do with this, just a parent caring (then again, we don't know anything about him so it wouldn't be fair to pass judgements on him) I think the money should be immaterial and should not be an issue, even if you say it's costly, you should budget for it. I agree w/ one of the moms who said you can chat on the web. See if your ship has public access, what that cost or if you can bring a laptop, see what kind of charges you will incur. It's going to be challenging w/ the differences in schedules, plans, time zones, etc., but you are taking your daughter out of town, away from her dad, to a place that you're both unfamiliar with. I've taken my daughter on vacations and I made sure we called her dad AT LEAST 2X/DAY. Morning before we headed out and @ night when we got back in. It's courtesy that I wanted to extend and teach my kid. In the end, expect the same from him and hold him just as accountable. Good luck!

Calling from the ship is very expensive. But what you can do is have your daughter's father buy some calling cards that would enable you to call him from the payphones in the port. Not sure where you are going, but there are calling cards out there for just about every country and they come in various lengths. I usually get the $5 cards and can generally talk for 10-15 mins, but that varies as well. I would tell him that you will call from the ports, but not from the ship. I don't think that's a bill he's going to be real happy about paying especially if you call collect.

Have fun, i love cruising. That's where I met my husband. And we have taking all of our kids on a cruise and they LOVED it.

HI; If he could give you a cell phone to use that would be nice. Depending on where you go, we were always able to get thru with ATT/Comcast's phone service because they do the long distance. Personally, I would rather text if I had to check in.

My husband was nervous also, mainly about the kids standing on the chairs or table on the deck.

S

You can do whatever you feel is best, but I personally think it isn't so much paranoia on his part, but jealousy. Sounds as if he maybe is trying to control a part of your vacation? Don't want to make waves, pardon the pun, but the charges are expensive! You can be trusted with your child to keep her safe, and call him the night before you leave and the day you return as a courtesy. Take lots of pictures!

As for the cruise, enjoy it! My husband and I were blessed with one a few years ago and it was wonderful! I'd go again in a heartbeat.

Take care & happy new year!
D.

I went on a cruise and before I went I contacted my cell carrier (AT&T). They added a plan that was for international calls. It made the calls from open waters much more affordable. Any calls I made from the ship while we were docked at a US port were free. I was able to cancel the plan once I returned home so I only paid for it for one month. Also if memory serves me correctly, we had a phone in our cabin, so you could arrange a specific time for her dad to call and you could be in the cabin at that time. That way the charges would be on his phone bill not yours.

As a mother who let her babies go with grandparents from out of state for weeks at a time, I know how it feels to have children traveling without you. I needed frequent contact to know that everything was okay. I don't think the dad is being paranoid or unreasonable, tho I do agree with you that it is his responsibility to pay for the calls.

Hope this helps.

Hi, my daughter just came back from an 11 day cruise. I wanted to hear from her every day as well. She went to her cell service, AT&t and added international calling and then when she came back she took off that feature. When you are actually on the cruise ship to call it is like $2.50 per minute. If you get the international service, then once you port, it is $.50 a minute, but you must be docked. My daughter said there was a symbol on her phone when it was safe to call. Of course that was through our carrier. We did text alot, which was the regular price, it just took her an extra day or so to get it. If you have AT&T for your cell service, I can give you my son's number and he can help you. He works for them. ____@____.com luck and have a great time.

Me personally, if my husband has a rquest like that I think to myself is that hard to make ONE phone call a day? If I can BLESS my husband just a little and that may MEAN A LOT to him. I am ALL for it.

I see your point, but I have to say, as a parent, if my 3 year old were taking a trip without me, I would want a call every day too. Cruises seem especialy risky, not sure where your headed, but there is risk involved on the open sea. I am sure his concern is for the safety of his child. Put yourself in his shoes and maybe think about how you would feel if the table was turned. I do think it is fair to ask him to pay the cost or at least split it.

Have a great time and be safe!

How about calling every other day? On the off days, email him a photo?

Hi, I went on a cruise in 2001 with several friends. Our experience was that a couple of the ladies called home and were unable to have a real conversation due to the static and delay on the line. Additionally, it cost them about $10.00 a minute which came was charged to their "ship card." Your ship card is issued to you when you get on the ship and all purchases are applied to that card. Since the phone calls orginated from our cabin the charges were applied to the ship card of the person who rented the cabin. Things may have been updated since i've been on a cruise. Good luck. P.S. daily does seem a bit overboard to me.

Hi,

I don't know about cruises but I do know about international travel. When you are "out of the country", which most cruises are considered, charges are $5 a minute on my AT&T service.

I have to agree with you. Calls everyday when on a crusie sounds a bit paranoid and unrealistic to me too. Is your daughter's dad afraid you are going to skip the counrty with her?

Let him make the calls at a pre-set time of your chooseing. Remember too, unless your calling plans are set up for international calling your phones will not work anyway. When I was in Kazakhstan I discovered this even though I thought I had arranged for it when I renewed my cell phone service. It is something you need to make certain of ahead of time.

Enjoy your cruise. I hope you have the time of your life!

You are in my prayers.
L.

he wants the 3 year old to call every day? well sure, as long as it is collect! i think he is being unrealistic...it really is hard (or was hard years ago when i lived in alaska) to make a call from a boat. maybe cruise lines have something extra. but he should shoulder the charges... sheesh

I would tell him that you will have his daughter call once while out there (because the costs are high), and if he wants more often, then he can pay for the rest of the charges. I think he's being a bit paranoid, and probably a bit jealous (you are going on a nice vacation with your daughter).

We just went on a cruise to Mexico and the rate from calling from your room was $5.95 per minute. If you have an international plan on your cell phone it shouldn't be too bad so long as you keep your calls short.

Sometimes one can find email cafes and make calls on email, which costs less. I don't know that anything like that would be on a cruise ship. I would contact the cruise ship company and see what they offer. You can even explain that your child's father wants some kind of daily contact and is there any way to meet that need even if it's not a phone call.

Makes sense to do your research re: what this particular ship and cruise company says is availalable first. Perhaps they have had other guests who needed daily messages conveyed (they probably have lots of seniors) who they have accomodated.

Dear M W,
I personally have never been on a cruise, but know lots of people who go on them regularly.
I know that the charges are terribly expensive and the service is "iffy" at best. My adult step-son went on a cruise and thought it would be neat to call my son from the ship, but no such luck. And no hard feelings, either.
I can understand your daughter's dad being a little nervous about her going on a cruise, but I think he's being unrealistic about the daily phone calls. In the first place, she's 3 years old so I can't imagine a whole lot of conversation happening. I would have him buy you an international phone card so that you can call him from land when you have the chance. Hopefully, he will allow you to e-mail to check in and let him know things are fine.
My ex was such a complete abusive control freak (which is why I left him in the first place) that he demanded a phone call every single day if we went anywhere as well. It may not be the case for you, but in my case, it was more about having the "power" to inconvenience me. A carnival was in town 15 minutes from us one time and I took the kids. It was my weekend, we didn't leave town or anything. We got home, I put the kids to bed and there were about 15 messages on my machine DEMANDING that I have our son call. I figured I'd have him call the next day, on Sunday. Well, the next morning, I had the cops banging on my door. I let them hear the messages and they just shook their heads. Anyway, we went back to mediation and they found that his phone calls were excessive. He was allowed to call one time per week. My son was allowed to call his dad anytime he wanted, but I no longer had to check in with him everytime I did anything.
Common courtesy and respect go a long way in raising a healthy, happy child. Your girl's dad may just have to accept that you will do you very best to make sure he knows that she's safe and things are okay, but he needs to put a little trust in you as well. It just may not be possible for you to call him every single day, but that doesn't mean anything bad has happened. Hopefully calling from land and e-mailing will suffice for him.
I think any parent finds it hard when their kids are travelling without them. My son is 13 now and I still hate it when he travels around with his dad. But they go to the mountains fishing where there is no cell service and I don't expect them to spend more time driving around so they can call me than they do fishing. It just isn't necessary.
I hope you can work out a compromise and still be able to enjoy your cruise.

Have a wonderful time! I wish I was going too.

Last time I went on a cruise the cell service on the ship was so lousy I never got a chance to find out what it cost! Definitely plan to make calls from land. That being said there may be days where you go on a tour or pre-arranged activity of some kind and it will be hard to find a moment to make a call. I think expecting you to call every day is going a bit overboard (pun not intended :)) Every other day seems more reasonable to me. If it were my child I admit I'd be nervous but there are times in life where we need to suck it up, deal, and not get in the way.

i think it is very expensive, but most cruise lines have internet access. perhaps you can compromise on an e-mail?

Hopefully this will settle out on it's own but in my own opinion, no, he's not being unreasonable to want to talk to his child each day. A simple "goodnight" call may be all he needs to rest easy. However, he IS being unreasonable to expect you to foot the bill. See if there is a prepaid credit card he can buy you to use for these calls so that you can make this a possibility. If he is not willing to pay for the calls then maybe the issue is less about him wanting to make sure his child is safe and sound than about having you do something for him.

good luck!

C.

If your babies daddy want to pay for the calls and keeps him from worrying, just do it. Have him get you a pre-paid phone card or give him the itinerary and have him call you. Also, if he has your agenda you can tell him you will call him from each port and he will know when to expect the call, so that should put his mind at ease. I would be worried or upset if your daughter's dad didn't want a call everyday to make sure she was okay. Compromise somewhere. Have fun.

I would tell him to call you everyday... let him bear the cost!

We went on a cruise over Thanksgiving. If we had used the ship's phone, whether to place or receive a call the price was the same--about $8 per minute, yes that's right, 8 DOLLARS per minute. Just the thought of that ought to knock some sense into him. You could try to get cell phone reception, but you will have to pay the roaming and/or international charges according to your cell phone provider. There was internet access on board, but I'm sure the charge for that was much less than the phone calls. I don't know how long your cruise is, but if he really can't go that long without contact, then I'd suggest using email instead of the phone.

This past summer we did a cruise of the west coast of Mexico. Left two teenagers at home who needed to be kept track of. For this cruise, your cell phone won't work most of the time at sea. Save phone calls for when you're in port. And, make sure you're on land so you're using the cell towers there, and not the ones on the ship. The way to go is text messaging. Mine worked throughout the whole trip and was a nice way to keep in touch. Then we would agree to times when I would call when the ship would get into port. While he won't be able to talk to his daughter, at least he'll be kept updated on where you are and what she's doing - Have Fun!