Phasing Out the Potty Training Incentives

With my daycare children (who potty train right at 24-28 months here with a "3 day method" as a base with parents at home..which is more like a5 days or so with full support and follow up from me and NO dependence on diapers of pull ups during their time at my house once its begun)...I do ONE M&M at the beginning for either deed...not for trying, but for producing something in the toilet.

After they really got it down (#1 is always first and quick in those first few days..I have never NOT had a successful child in the last few years of doing this method)...I just sorta of distract and rush them thru the hand washing and silliness to get them to forget about the candy...and if asked I say, lets just do that for #2..and mostly they just give me a look and we move on.

Then we do them for #2, which is less frequent, so the cany is not so "in their face". Once they have the pooping figured out, I start saying "oh, I forgot to buy them" and similar excuses. I never leave them on the counter in their little container or where they are always in sight or where they can be reached.

It just always works and is easy to wean off them. Distraction works great...shuffling them out of the bathroom once the deed is done...make hand washing silly and fun so they forget and just being a "spacey daycare lady (Mom for you)"

With all your steps, maybe pick one to get rid of first...stickers or candy...and go from there. Withing 2 weeks you can have them all gone.

Good luck!

I would be more concerned about the not pooping than the M&Ms. Four days is too long to hold it, and she wouldn't necessarily complain about being constipated. Take it from a mom who handled her first child's potty ALL wrong (I got mad at him a lot and shamed him inadvertently --NOT saying that you are doing that) he withheld poops, became impacted, and 5 years later he needs to take Miralax every day to keep things moving. You DO NOT want pooping to ever be a control issue for them, and she may be reacting to the new rules that certain things will only happen if she uses the potty. If she's not fully ready for it, it's going to mix up her feelings and her success with it. I'd back of the rule, and keep rewards and incentives light and fun.

I don't actually think 4 is too young to understand the concept of getting a reward for staying dry all day, perhaps it was because you "offered" it to her and she didn't want to take the deal. M&Ms every time is better than one thing at the end. Don't offer -- say this is how it is going to work now. You can still earn M&Ms by pooping on the potty though!

I'd also think about starting a potty routine to make it easier for her to poop in the potty. She should actually be going every day, maybe skipping one every once in a while. After each meal, sit on the toilet for 10 minutes. Grab a book or a handheld game, put a foot stool down so her legs are more comfortable. Sometimes kids just have a hard time physically, so make it easier for her little body and she may do better.

Good luck!

I would give her a one time fun reward because of her consistency going to the potty. Let her know she's a big girl and how pleased you are with her accomplishment. After the reward don't give her the M&M's, if she asks say, remember you're a big girl now and big girls don't need rewards to go potty. Does Mommy get one when she goes potty?

Now I'd keep giving them to her for gong poop, that's still something she's working on, so the rewards are helpful, even if they are not motivating as much as they did before.

My daughter is 4 now, she potty trained at about 26 months. She was not going #2 on a regular basis either (once every 4 days was normal for her), so it took a while for her to get it. However we went cold turkey the day we started potty training, no diaper for day or night. If you have the pull up on at night, she knows she can just hold the poop until night time. Yes it is a huge gross mess to clean it up. You can buy some cheap under wear and toss it if that makes it easier for you. But don't giver her the pull up crutch. get a good rubber matress pad and some old sheets/blanket if you're concerned about messing up what she has. And go from there.

I would also recommend a change in her diet. We've been eating whole grains now, nearly exclusively, ww pasta and brown rice and ww bread. Make sure she's getting lots of fruit, veggies and lots of water. Dairy can constipate, as can processed foods, so keep that to a minimum. My daughter now has at least one BM a day, sometimes 2, and almost never complains about being constipated like she used to. If your daughter doesn't go at least every other day, I'd give her some prune or pear juice on top of everything else I mentioned, that will soften things up and get the bowel moving. This is a prevention of many intestinal issues that will appear later in life, so it never hurts to start early!!

Best wishes, hang in there!

M&Ms for doing her big job only.

When my kids go several days without going, I give them chopped dates. They are in a box near the raisins. Works great!

When our daughter refused to tell us when she needed to do her big job, incentives didn't work. Putting her in panties only didn't work. Having her sit on the pot after every meal didn't work. Every time I would catch her with that look and would race her to the potty. Finally after a couple accidents I told her if she pooped in her panties again, she would have to sit by the washer and wait for her clothes to wash and dry. We did that 2 times and it was so miserable(no toys, no books) she started going in the potty ( I rewarded her BIG time!) and never had another accident. It was a last resort kind of thing but it worked when nothing else did.
Good luck!

We moved from an immediate reward, to a sticker chart. Pee-pee was worth one sticker, poop was worth two stickers, five stickers got a prize. (Maybe a handful of gummy bears, or in your case, M&Ms.) The sticker chart was in her room, not the bathroom. If DD forgot to ask for a sticker, we certainly didn't remind her. Nor did we count the stickers for her, to remind her to get a prize. It sort of phased itself out.

I think it's ok to continue w/ the m & m's for now, at least until the poop thing gets straightened out. She should be pooping every day. Maybe she really IS constipated a bit, it is a strain to go and possibly makes her uncomfortable so she doesn't WANT to go. You might try giving her more water, no cheese, milk or bananas but more veggies. It is interesting that sometimes dairy causes constipation but yogurt can help w/ any digestive issues constipation OR the trots. I hope this helps!