I am 44 this year and I, too, have begun the change........for about 2 1/2 years now. I think the biggest thing that has saved my emotions is KNOWING what I'm going through and being "in touch" with my body.
My periods are also extremely heavy.......when I have them. Last year they became "off cycle" and i never knew when they were coming. They seem to be more regular now, just waaayyy heavy to the point where a super-plus tampon only lasts 30-45 minutes........I cannot go without a pad, or I set myself up for an "accident".........I, too, sleep with a towel, and I purchase more underwear than ever before. I'm tired of cleaning up blood everywhere (sorry TMI), so now I buy regular old cheap underwear and throw them away when it's really bad........I only wear dark sweat pants now, or jeans on those days.
The other symptoms are like you......hot flashes, midnight sweats included. It's the moodiness that is most difficult to deal with. But a cocktail helps :o)
For me, my body changes and is not consistent with all those other symptoms, but there are mornings when i wake up....I know if it's going to be a "normal day" or a menopausal day".......that helps knowing, so I can be more patient with myself. I watch TV more, and read :O) Just focusing on myself has helped get me through the really bad days.......I'm to the point that i don't feel guilty about it :o)
They say that there are ALOT of meds to take out there to make us more comfortable, but I'm trying to wait as long as i can. I've learned to "breathe" through really tough moments, and I got a perm because I need to shower more.
Basically it's a change that's not going away for awhile, so I'm adjusting my life to accodomate the things I cannot control. It's helping, more emotionally than anything, but that emotional help has gone a LONG way.
More women our age are going through this.........at first it's so surprising because we feel so "young" and are not prepared to feel things like this at such a young age. But it's happening. I feel like I'm in "a club" now after reading a few of your responses, because so many others have tesitfied that they are going through it, too :O)
I keep telling myself....just think, by the time I'm in my 60's, it should be all over :o)
If nothing else, I hope you found comfort in knowing you are not alone "out there".....you are normal in today's world, you just need to find a way to help get you through these difficult days.......
~N. :o)